My World, Still Confused
I'm still confused, still haven't found my answers.
Someone has to help me out.
This frustrations builds up inside of me and it's wearing me thin.
Sometimes I wonder if you're as sincere as me or if this is all a lie.
I still don't know if you're pulling my strings to get some sort of personal victory.
A personal vendetta?
A motive?
Fuck yes.
I can't figure out what's real and what's fake, and with all of these questions luring,
It crucifies me and punctures the nail through my heart.
Someone show me a fucking sign!
This is a cry for help.
It's become difficult for me to sleep.
But just as deadly to remain awake.
This guilt, this fear, fear of getting my heart broken haunts me with every fucking breath that I take.
Am I what you want?
Hell, sometimes I don't even know what I am.....who I am.
Don't even know whether I'm being used or not.
Don't even know how I'm fitting in. Said this all already.
I'm feeling it again. The feeling of an outcast.
Neglected.
Overlooked and underrated by everyone who opposes me.
Disrespected.
Depression is my lifestyle,
A life full of misery.
Someone save me from these emotions that haunt me down.
Ripping and tearing my soul apart.
Don't even know what I am to you,
Maybe I'm just a pawn in your chess game.
Maybe you'll crush me and the foundation around you in the palm of your hands,
In your quest to fame.
It's funny, really, how the color green makes a heart turn black.
But when your 15 minutes are finished and the curtain falls on your popularity,
Where do you go?
Where do you turn?
There IS no turning back.
Sometimes a push in the right direction will work wonders for a life.
And that's exactly what I need.
I turn to you for guidance and for help, because every day I wake up to a fight, the emotional battle within myself.
Don't even know what you really think of me.
I just want these answers to be something I haven't heard before. Not to be cliche.
All I want is for you to keep me happy.
I, somehow, just want to play a significant part of your life.
But let's wake up, All I really do is bring you down.
I make for nothing but bad news.
Don't even know, don't clearly understand the reasons why I'm attached to you.
.....I remain confused.