A World Full Of Confusion
I'm confused.
Puzzled and dumbfounded.
What are we?
What am I?
How exactly am I fitting into this equation?
What am I to you in your life?
I live my life in fear.
It forces me to keep quiet.
I'll be silent.
I promise, I'll never say a word.
I would never do anything to hurt you.
I'll never put you down.
But I just wonder what goes on in your head, what you are thinking, what you say about me when I'm not around.
Why is putting my trust in someone so fucking hard to find?
Maybe she isn't like the rest,
but why is it that when something goes wrong and shit goes perfect, this forever is carved in my mind?
This life is filled with sorrow and I never find it in my heart to crack a smile.
But the thought of you brings it...and the scent of you drives me wild.
I wish there was a way to show what I'm saying is true.
That yes, I do care....
And yes, I am in love with you.
I'm not in for anything. Not a fucking thing. No motives, I'm so fucking sincere, all I want is you.
But you're probably immune to the hurt.
How the hell could I bring anything new?
In this thing that beats, I begin to feel my heart.
But it seems to me that the more we grow towards each other,
The more I think of us breaking apart.
I want to open up my world to you, I'm just afraid to exit from my shell.
But I've been hiding in the darkness for so long, fighting all of my fucking demons, it's just extremely hard to tell.
Tell whether or not she actually love me, or if I'm getting told what I need to hear.
Are your feelings real or am I being lied to?
Are you that special someone that I've been searching my life to be with?
If you couldn't tell, I live in a world full of confusion.
A lifestyle full of questions that can't be answered.
Won't be answered.
There IS no solution.
Don't really know what to say, but it's obvious that I'm an outcast. Pariah?
But that isn't relevant here, I still need to know if you are the one I need in this quest for love.
I feel it in my heart and I think it feels right.
I feel it in the way we kiss and in the way I hold you tight.
The confusion lies because I've been down this road once before.
.....That if she IS the one.
Will she be the one that returns my heart to being cold?
I honestly wish there was a way to help me.
Help me NOT be confused.
But I don't have the answers.....
And neither do you.