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Lucretia, I want to apologize if I sounded like I was hostile, and disrespectful of you. I honestly didn't mean to come across that way. I want to be honest with you, there is no one I respect more as a wrestler in our circle then you. My tone in my previous statements was more about frustration in myself then disrespect. Because I have to tell you the honest truth, and it's something not many people in this little world of SFT is willing to admit...
I'm intimidated by you....
You're right Lucretia, maybe I still am just a child. But sooner or later, children have to grow up. I loved my mom, and I look up to her as a person. But as a wrestler, I've always wanted to be like you. And every time I've stood across the ring from you, I've only been reminded of the fact that I am nothing like you, in the ring or out of it.
We're the daughters of two of SFT's founding fathers. And thats about it when it comes to similarities. I've tried my very best against you, and it just wasn't ever enough. But I will try again. Lucretia, you can't always beat me. At some point, I will finally win, and this hopefully be that time. I realize now that it's not your fault that you were my first opponent, and that you didn't ask to be. But what better way for me to finally prove to myself that I deserve to be the SFT Champion then to finally beat someone who no matter how hard I try, I can never seem to beat? You're right, you played your cards smart. I played the hand I was dealt. The way they were dealt was that I'd had to do what I did in the Lethal Lottery if I wanted to start a career of my own in SFT, instead of a continuation of my mother's. But the fact that as soon as my own career starts, and I have a chance to build upon my own name, I've been thrown into a match with you again. I'd be lying if I said I was confident. I'd be lying if I even thought I ever had a chance. But I will try. You'll never see me not try in a match. Even when I knew my partner's hearts weren't in our six man tag match in RWA, I still put forth effort on my own behalf. When I went up against your husband, and Kamikaze, with a partner that obviously had more pressing things going on in their life then the RWA United Title Tournament, I still put forth the effort. I will always try my hardest, no matter how futile it may seem to myself, and others.
I don't know, maybe I should just be glad I've had the opportunity to hold this title for any time at all, with my name on it, and not one of my parents. This is my title, and no one can take away the fact that I am the SFT Champion, for no matter how long it is I hold it. And really, that might just be all I've ever wanted. Who knows. But I don't want this to end now. And as long as I try, I'll still have a chance too keep this going past this Sunday.
The scene opens outside the Strike Fantasy Towers wrestling factory. It's an old style brick factory with towering smoke stacks. The snow falls on the courtyard of the factory, as the large group of reporters and spectators crowd around the massive cast iron gates at the front of the factory. In front of the gates stand ten people, five adults, and five children, all resembling SFT/RWA superstars. Four of the children dressed in their best, as are their parents, and one set dressed obviously much poorer then the others.
First on the far left is Jeffy King, and his mother Allisa. Then Nathanial Gust, and his father Dave Van Dam. In the center of the group is Sary Pettis, a poor child with her father Will Schorg. Second to the right is lil' Shawny Walsh, and his father Tony Barrera, and finally you have lil' Kolby Stern (or Havoc as he likes to be called) and his mother Amy Jo Smith.
They are standing outside, being the five winners of the SFT Golden Ticket contest, having found the five golden tickets hidden amongst Official SFT licensed merchandise. Jeffy likes to think of himself as a great writer, artistic, and misunderstood. Nathanial is a great champion, in his own mind, and doesn't care who he has to trample over in order to win titles. Sary, well she just wants a chance to prove how good she could be, but being poor, its hard to do. Shawny, he's an arrogant prick, who thinks he's god's gift to everything, and should get anything he wants. And then you have Havoc, an overly smart kid that thinks he knows everything there is to know about the wrestling business, and just wants to prove how stupid everyone else when it comes to "the biz."
Suddenly the giant front doors of the factory open, and large, long red carpet rolls out, to the cast iron gates. Everyone waits with incredible anticipation, as a hunched over old man slowly hobbles his way towards the gates with his cane. Slowly he inches along, as flash bulbs from the reporters flash at him, dressed in his long black trench coat, his long black hair hanging down over his face. Just as he gets to the gate, he falls to ground, face first onto the carpet. Everyone gasps thinking something is wrong with the man, who suddenly shocks them by springing back up to his feet!
The crowd cheers as he opens the gates, and greets his ten guests.
"Welcome children! Are you all the lucky winners? You, you must be a Jeffy King, the misunderstood artist...and you, Nathan, the greatest thing to ever happen to SFT right? And you...Sary Pettis, you're just lucky to be here...and then Shawny, the best in the world at everything! And last...Havoc, who knows more then anyone else could ever know about wrestling...welcome all of you too my wrestling factory, please, follow me! Who am I you might ask? Oh, I'm Shady Wonka, proud owner of Strike Fantasy Towers." Shady says as he leads the group towards the factory.
Sary walks along with her grandfather, at the back of the group, she tugs on his ragged old coat to get his attention, "Grandpa, whats with this guy?"
Will Schorg looks at Sara and smiles, "Oh, don't worry about him, he's harmless. He's just a little...eccentric." He tells her.
As they enter the factory, Shady stops and points towards a giant contract hanging on the wall, and five distinct feather pens in ink fountains at the bottom. Shady points to it, and tells the children, "Before we go any further, I must tell you all to sign this contract."
"What it say?" Shawny asks Shady.
"Oh, nothing big my good boy. It's just a little, something whipped up by our legal department saying that anything you witness within our walls, wither its within this, that, or any other dimension, universe, parallel or otherwise, or alternate reality, you will keep to yourself now and forever and never say to anyone of any sort of class, race, religion..etc...etc...etc...I just keep going on and on like this for days and days boys and girls, so I suggest signing it so we don't waste all of our tour time on just legal mumbo jumbo, ok?" Shady Wonka says, handing a pen to Shawny. All the kids immediately sign the contracts, a long with their chaperons. Shady smiles, as he leads them down a hall way which looks like a great distance, until everyone notices that it's getting smaller.
"Mr. Wonka, the hallway is getting smaller." Mr. Barrera says as he holds Shawny's hand.
"No no my good sir. The hallway isn't getting smaller, our imaginations...are just getting bigger!"
The group all looks at each other puzzled, as they approach a door so small, it'd be a tight squeeze for a mouse.
"Here we are folks. The entrance to my wrestling factory."
"How are we supposed to get in there? It's so small." Amy Jo says.
"Simple my dear...just watch."
Shady takes out a key the size of the grain of rice, and slides it into a keyhole on the door. He opens the door, which opens the entire wall, and exposes the factory inside.
"Come with me, and you'll see, a world of pure imagination...take a trip, so lets skip, through a world of pure imagination, title belts, the mats of felt, all exist in a world of pure imagination, everything, you will see, exists in a world of pure imagination..."
The children all run around the room, filled with faceless people at giant typewriters, and miles and miles of paper on the floor. The kids pick them up, and read what is written on them.
"What is all of this?" Havoc asks.
"Those, my good friend, are stories...written up by my staff of writers here. Most of them don't even get used."
"I can see why, heels in gauntlet matches?" Havoc says throwing the papers on the floor again.
Suddenly a bunch of small guys with push brooms push the papers towards the middle of the room where all of the papers are being pushed onto a conveyor belt.
"What are those things?" Jeffy King asks.
"Oh those...those are my Haroldoompas...I got them from a little place called Haroldland."
"Theres no such thing." Allisa interupts.
"Excuse me?"
"Mr. Wonka...I'm British, which means I know everyth..."
Shady interrupts, "Oh, then you'd know that Haroldland is a horrible place. Roaches everywhere, and marijuana smoke filling the sky so thick you could never hope to breathe. I brought the whole population of Haroldland here to work in the factory, and I pay them in cheetos dust...and weed."
Suddenly the groups attention is pulled away from the Haroldoompas by Jeff King who is standing on the conveyor belt...
"Oh my god! Nazi cannibals! And....and...sodomy! How can you guys throw this stuff away!" Jeffy King asks, not realizing that his pant leg is caught in the conveyor belt.
"Oh my god! Jeffy, get off the conveyor belt!" Allisa screams.
Jeffy tries to get off the conveyor belt, but realizes he's caught. Suddenly everyone realizes that the conveyor belt leads to a giant paper shredder. Paper's drop into the shredder. Jeffy begins to panic.
"Mommy! Mommy! Help!" Jeffy King screams.
"Mr. Wonka! You have to do something!" Allisa grabbing Shady.
"Eh, don't worry, he'll be fine...we only shred on Saturdays."
"But it is Saturday!" Allisa screams.
"Oh...well...do you really care?"
"What!?!?! Are you serious?"
"Yea."
Allisa stops to think about it....just as Jeffy goes into the shredder with blood and flesh flying everywhere.
"Eh, I guess it really doesn't matter now does it?"
"No, not really."
Suddenly the Haroldoompas start to sing and dance around the room.
"Grandpa whats happening?" Sary asks Will.
"I don't know Sary."
"I think the Haroldoompas are going to entertain us with a song."
"Haroldoompa...dumpity dee...why do the police always check my pee?....Haroldoompa...dumpity dum...don't go to jail they'll play with your bum...What do you get when your stories suck ass?...Eating babies gets old fast...You're just trying to be edgey and crude...now people question if you're a dude...Haroldoompa dumpity dee...people don't always see what you see...Listen to us you know that it's true...so try something different dumpity doo...........dumpity doo." "Oh well, shall we continue everyone?"
The group shrugs, and follows Shady into the next room. Shady stands outside the room, and tells them all to stop.
"Alright kiddies, this is a real treat. No one else ever gets to see stuff like this...it's our experimental moves room. But don't try these yourself..."
Shady opens the doors and the kids all push their ways in. The room has about five rings, with two wrestlers in each ring.
"Hey! These aren't experimental! I've seen these moves all over the internet at indy shows, and Japan!" Nathanial says.
"Oh, but they are experimental, they've never been seen by main stream wrestling fans."
"Hey, I know everything there is to know about wrestling facts..."
"Yea, right, you're not even in the biz. You're just a yardtard." Havoc says watching the groups try new finishers on each other.
"Can it asshole! I bet I can do these moves. Hell I'm the greatest ever in the history of every fed I've ever been in! Just watch."
Nathan gets into one of the rings, and pushes out one of the wrestlers...
"Watch me everyone! I'm so great!" Nathan incapacitates the other guy in the ring, and hits the set up. He then climbs up onto the top rope...
"Please kid, I assure you, nothing good can happen, please get down...." Shady says in a sarcastic tone.
"Maybe you should listen to Mr. Wonka, Nate." Dave Van Dam says to Nate.
"It's ok dad, watch this!" Nathan jumps off the top rope, but before he can land on his opponent the wrestler rolls out of the way, and Nate crashes down right on his neck, with a snap. Everyone in the group cringes at the sight.
"I tried to tell him, it always goes wrong on the landing...oh well." Shady blows on his whistle, and a Haroldoompa runs up next to him, "Please take Mr. Gust and his father to the medical room, and make sure he's not dead ok?"
Nathan lays motionless in the center of the ring, while a team of Haroldoompas get in it with a stretcher and begin to dance around him...
"Haroldoompa...dumpity dee...why do the police always check my pee?....Haroldoompa...dumpity dum...don't go to jail they'll play with your bum...What do you get with a ego so big?...With all of your titles in the bottom of your sig?...Your accomplishments will soon outweigh your rps...and when you lose you'll cry on your knees...Haroldoompa dumpity dee...people don't always see what you see..Haroldoompa dumpity doo...listen to us you know that it's true...so don't think every match is an automatic win...and someday this game may be fun again...Haroldoompa dumpity doo........dumpity doo."
"Grandpa..." Sara says getting close to Will, "Is that boy going to be ok?"
"If he is, it's a damn shame...these kids could really use a good smack." Will says.
Shady leads the group to the next room, where a machine is being used to pump out old characters from the past...
"Oh this is great...this is my character reanimation machine...we've used it for Sean Lane, and Aj Nin Red Rum...unfortunately theres all kinds of problems with some of these remakes, so we try not too use it too much...oh well, move along shall we?"
The group continues to walk and Sara and Will stay behind for a second...
"Hey kiddo, what do you say we try this out? What could go wrong?"
"Ok, Grandpa, who should we resurrect?"
"How about...Ice! You always liked her when you were little!"
"Yea! Lets do it!"
Will finds the control panel of the machine, and sees a keyboard. He deletes the name CONNOR MACDADDY and types in, ICE on the screen, and presses the reanimation button. The machine buzzes and clanks as out of the machine a woman that resembles Ice slides out.
"Hmmm...I don't know what he's talking about, she looks fine to me?"
Ice looks around...a bit...
"Where...where are we?"
Sary and Will look at each other, and mouth the word 'We?'.
"Chrissy, where did you take us last night? Hey, it wasn't me, I actually came home early. Hey don't blame me, you know my bed time is 10 o'clock...."
Sary and Will look at each other, understanding it now. Somehow the machine screwed up and put Schizophrenia's character into Ice's body. Ice/Schizo continues to argue with itself as Sary and Will slowly and quietly leave the room, and catch up to the rest of the tour, which only consists of Sary and Will, Shawny and Tony Barerra, and Havoc and Amy Jo.
"This is the greatest part of the tour...the Title Belt room!" Shady tells the group. "Every time someone gets a title belt, who's abilities are...questionable, we make a new belt here so it isn't tainted when they lose the belt a week later."
"Tony, I want a title belt!" Shawny Walsh yells.
"Just wait till we get home Shawny and you'll have one."
"But Tony....I WANT ONE NOW!"
"What he really wants is a good ass kicking." Will whispers to Sary.
"Alright Shawny, alright. How much for a title belt Wonka?"
"Oh...they aren't for sale...you have to win them." Shady tells them.
"HEY! Listen to me you out of date spic! I'm Shawn Walsh god damn it! And if I want a World Title Belt, I will get a World Title Belt!"
Shady pulls out his whistle again, and blows on it, and the Haroldoompas begin to enter the room...
"Haroldoompa...dumpity dee...why do the police always check my pee?....Haroldoompa...dumpity dum...What happens when you call the owner a spic?...People start to think you're a racist hick...Then you get punished and you will be banned....then you'll start your own fed and say it was planned...Haroldoompa dumpity dee...people don't always see what you see...act like a asshole and you'll be banned it's true...Haroldoompa dumpity doo.............dumpity doo..."
The Haroldoompas pull a rope in the center of the room, and Shawny and Tony fall through a trap door in the floor...the scene goes to the outside of the factory where they both slide out a shoot and onto the street...
"Fine! Ban me, see if I give a shit! I'm going to start my own fed...with strippers, and whores, and weed.....and fuck the strippers and whores....I'm just going to smoke a lot of weed!"
"Well...now we're down to just two...really good kids. Shall we continue?" he tells them.
The four now follow Shady to the next area, which is the T.V. Room. Inside is a giant arena filled with Haroldoompas dressed as fans, and a wrestling ring.
"This is where we tape all of our SFT Shows. Right in this arena and in this ring. We use blue screen technology to change the interior of the arena to fit the venue." he tells them.
"Holy crap! This is the big leagues! This is awesome! I usually just wrestle in high school gyms!" Havoc says climbing into the ring.
"Havoc, hun...climb out of the ring." Amy Jo says.
"Fuck that! Is this live?"
"Yes it is...you're on this week's show. Would you like to perform?"
"Hell yea! Who am I gonna wrestle?"
"How does....New Jack sound?"
Havoc turns around, and behind him is New Jack....with an exacto knife...Havoc covers his face and New Jack takes his exacto knife and begins to cut at him. Havoc tries to get away but New Jack grabs him, and continues to cut him. Finally Havoc passes out, and New Jack stops, and dumps the body out of the ring. Sary, Will, and Amy Jo watch in horror as Havoc bleeds on the floor.
"Oh my god! Whats wrong with you?" Amy Jo screams.
"Mutha fucka said he wanted ta get color bitch!" New Jack yells at her.
"No he didn't, he just wanted to wrestle!" Amy Jo screams.
"This is how the biz works bitch!" New Jack says as he leaves the ring and the room.
Havoc lays on the floor as the Haroldoompas come down from the crowd and gather around the fallen Havoc...
"Haroldoompa...dumpity dee...why do the police always check my pee?....Haroldoompa...dumpity dum...don't go to jail they'll play with your bum...what do you get when you wrestle for real...when things are wrong like a pig you will squeal...people will start to think you're a douche and not want to work with you...because this is fantasy, and doesn't have to be true....Haroldoompa dumpity dee...people don't always see what you see...quit thinking you're always right, and stop starting fights...this part of the song could go on all night...you fully know it's sad and it's true...Haroldoompa dumpity doo.............dumpity doo..."
The Haroldoompas carry Havoc out of the room with Amy Jo following behind. Shady Wonka then walks out of the room, and down the hall towards his office. He opens the door, and looks at Will and Sary, standing there with smiles on their faces, the only ones left.
"Well, I hope you enjoyed the tour, I'm sorry I can't see you out, but I'm really busy, so good day...and enjoy yourselves."
He shuts the door too his office, and Sary and Will look at each other puzzled, knowing that one of the children were supposed to get the SFT Title. Will tells Sary to sit tight, and walks into the office.
"Mr. Wonka...I'm sorry, but what about the championship? Sary was really hoping to get the championship...its all she's ever wanted in her whole life...and she's the only one left...she didn't do anything wr...."
"NO! SHE USED THE CHARACTER REANIMATOR! WE HAVE A ICE NOW, THAT THINKS SHE'S SCHIZOPHRENIA! NOW WE EITHER HAVE TO DESTROY IT, OR WRITE SOME STORY FOR IT! AND THAT COST MONEY! SO GOOD DAY SIR! GOOD DAY AND LEAVE!"
Will turns around, and sees Sary standing at the door to the office. He storms away from Shady who goes back to his paper work, "Come on Sary, we'll go to that other fed that other kid is starting...screw this guy!"
Sary just looks at Shady, as Will leaves the room, and says in a soft voice, "I'm sorry Mr. Wonka...I didn't mean to cause trouble...I still love SFT...even if I don't get to be champion."
Sary starts to turn around to leave until...
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