Stew Style
The Big Show #2: WWF Royal Rumble 2002
The Royal Rumble holds a special place in the hearts of many WWF fans, since it’s one of the shows where you’re guaranteed something a little different. While the Survivor Series seems to have lost much of it’s uniqueness with less focus on the elimination tag matches, and the King Of The Ring PPV hardly featured the actual KOTR tournament last year, the Rumble is the only PPV with a solid identity. It’s also the first step on the Road To WrestleMania, which means that one half of the biggest main event of the year is already pencilled in two months in advance of the show itself. For a company like the WWF, who have been booking on a weekly (even show-per-show) basis, it’s a big step to take, especially with the signing of Nash, Hall & Hogan, who could all shake up matters quite a lot in the coming couple of months.
WWF Intercontinental Title
Edge v William Regal
The WWF have really got into a bad habit of telegraphing the winners of their featured PPV matches by having the person who is jobbing at the big show go over huge beforehand. Witness, Mr William Regal… He’s been on a real tear since he returned on Raw a couple of weeks back, pinning both I-C Champion Edge and Rob Van Dam. However, consider the WWF PPV rule which reads ‘If he goeth over on free TV in the build up, he shalt repayeth the job on the Pay Per View.’
Regal is technically excellent (one of the most proficient wrestlers in the federation in actual fact) but the sad truth of the matter is that he has found it almost impossible to have a good match in the WWF. Of course, the WWF style is a limiting one for people in the William Regal mould who shirk the flashiness of the WWF for old school wrestling. Just ask Dean Malenko, if you don’t believe me. What all that means is that I’m expecting yet another match with ‘bowling shoe tendencies.’
Edge is in real jeopardy. He’s a four time Intercontinental Champion already, and he’s only been a dedicated singles wrestler since August. He’s not near moving up to the WWF Title scene (and with the imminent debuts of Hall, Nash & Hogan that may not be for a very long time, if at all) and so all that’s truthfully left for him is to keep holding the I-C title. The problem arises then as to whether you book him to drop and regain the title a few times (already done with both Christian & Test) making each title reign less credible than the previous, or you just keep him as the I-C champ for a long time and risk the fans turning on him in boredom. The WWF seem intent in getting Edge over as a legitimate superstar, but they’re rapidly running out of ideas of what to do with him.
Edge has to retain the title here. As much as Regal may be friends with both Austin and Triple H, he can’t be justified to go over. If he wins it just to put Edge over again at No Way Out, all you’ve done is made Edge an even weaker FIVE time I-C champion than he is four time. The Edge experiment lives on.
WWF World Tag Team Titles
Tazz & Spike Dudley v The Dudley Boyz
Yup, the WWF telegraph the finish of the PPV match by having the Dudleyz maul the new champions in the parking lot on the last Smackdown before the PPV. This may give the Dudleyz some heat, but it just means that Spike & Tazz get their revenge here. In any event, the prospect of the Dudleyz zillionth tag title is way to scary to comprehend. The only thing that may be scarier is what might happen next…
The Dudleyz putting Spike & Tazz over again should give them a little credibility as champions, but the chances of them having a long run are next to zero. The team of Palumbo & Gunn (or ChuckaBilly) have been making waves in the Tag scene recently, and JR has been putting them over in commentary like they’re the next big things. Tazz & Spike are simply transition champions and I look for them to successfully defend at the PPV, only to dump them to Gunn and Palumbo soon after.
But, the Gunn-Palumbo pairing might also miss out due to the return of Nash, Hall & Hogan. No doubt The Outsiders will be looking to add the WWF Tag Titles to their resume soon enough. I don’t know about you, but the prospect of The Outsiders as the WWF tag champions even makes the Dudleyz act look cutting edge…
WWF Women’s Title
Trish Stratus v Jazz
You know, Trish is alright as the women’s champion. That’s not saying much, admittedly… but if the WWF aren’t going to go with trained wrestlers like Ivory and Jackie in this division, Trish is pretty much your best bet. She can work better than Torrie & Stacy, and is willing to defend the title more often than Stephanie, Chyna and even Ivory did. Of course, I don’t see why the WWF even bothered to bring the title back anyway…
Jazz has been booked well since her damp squib debut at the Survivor Series. She’s been put over as a monster, and her anti T&A message is reminiscent of the *ahem* ‘glory days’ of Ivory’s original title reign. Problem is, Jazz is pretty much useless in the ring. For all the mockery that’s poured over the state of the WWF Women’s division, Jazz will be asked to work harder here than she ever did in ECW, where her appearances usually consisted of simply a low blow or two, followed by a ‘Jazz Stinger’ face buster.
Jazz is the probable exception to the WWF PPV Rule. Despite her being put over strongly pre-PPV, she’s the pet project in the women’s division, and should make a fairly strong heel champion should the WWF decide to put Lita over for the belt at WrestleMania.
This match will do well to make positive star ratings, so let’s just hope it’s a short one.
Street Fight
Vince McMahon v Ric Flair
Surely this is a couple of months soon? When Ric Flair said that he intended to return to the ring as a wrestler as well as the storyline co-owner of the WWF, most people were able to guess that he would end up fighting McMahon. Most though, considered the match to be WrestleMania material. Well, for whatever reason, we’ve got the match now.
One reason could very well be that McMahon intends to put himself over in this match, leading to the babyface Flair going over on McMahon at WrestleMania. Ouch. As a dedicated Flair fan, the prospect of seeing Slick Ric adding McMahon to his list of company owners/bookers who’ve felt the need to put themselves over him… It wasn’t smart business when Bischoff did it, and it wasn’t smart business when Russo did it (actually shaving Flair’s head as a result) and it won’t be smart business if McMahon does it either.
Consulting the WWF PPV Rule offers us Flair fans some solace. McMahon mocked Flair, and ‘busted him wide open’ on Raw, meaning that the Nature Boy should get his revenge here. The only potential problems would be McMahon’s ego, and the Nash, Hall & Hogan question. If I were booking the return of the New World Order, the way I’d book it would be to come out and bloody both of the owners of the WWF, and hopefully cut a promo with similar echoes of Bash At The Beach 96’s formation speech. Of course, the major hurdle facing the nWo (if that’s the way they decide to go) is that it would basically be asking the fans to buy another ‘invasion’ after the last one tanked so badly.
Anyhow, disregarding the possibility of an nWo revival (because I don’t think they’ll blow their wad and debut them just yet), the Flair v McMahon match could be decent if Flair is allowed to carry McMahon through it. Flair is a long way past his ‘broomstick carrying’ powers of 10+ years ago, but he’s probably still good enough to get through the trademarked Flair spots and make this watchable. Flair wins, barring any unwelcome interference.
Undisputed WWF Title
Chris Jericho v The Rock
Well, they’ve tried to extend the life of the Angle v Austin feud by running it to three PPVs and a couple of high profile Raw matches, and the federation are doing the same with this feud. Of course, Angle v Austin got progressively worse after the highpoint at SummerSlam and it’s more than likely that a similar pattern will develop here. Rock & Jericho had their ‘big’ match at No Mercy, and the PPV follow-up at Vengeance couldn’t compare. What chance does this one have?
This match is suffering from the fact that the WWF have only had a couple of weeks to promote the title shot after the mini-feud with Jericho & RVD was canned and The Rock was drafted back in to face the new ‘Living Legend’ again. Of those two weeks, this past week has been a wash out with Rock not even appearing at Raw; being busy doing Scorpion King re-shoots. The WWF PPV Rule says that since Rock got the tap out win with the Sharpshooter a few shows back, Jericho will go over here.
A lot of people on the net have been really annoyed by the WWF’s apparent refusal to put the new champion Jericho over clean against anybody. Well, that’s the whole point here, guys… Jericho is supposed to look like a lame duck champion, so that people will pay money to see The Rock whip his ass. It’s the same formula used to great effect in 87-88 to make Honky Tonk Man a legitimate draw. People would come out to house shows and TV tapings back then because they thought that this time, the babyface HAD to get the win… of course, Honky invariably snuck out with the belt and the fans paid to see the show the next time the WWF passed through their town because this time SURELY there has to be a title change. Um, no… maybe next time… Anyway, you get the picture. Jericho is playing his role to the Honky Tonk Man’s exact specifications. Just as Honky was the self-professed ‘Greatest Intercontinental Champion Of All Time’, Jericho is the ‘Living Legend’ despite neither guy having any right to call themselves that.
The match is being sold on the fact that Rock is BOUND to go over on his outclassed opponent, and of course the heelish Jericho will no doubt find a cheesy way to win (not that the Rock would actually job clean anyway) or at least lose by count out or disqualification to save the title. I just hope that when it happens, the same people won’t go writing about how it’s disgusting that the WWF don’t market Jericho like they did with Triple H and consider what the actual angle they’re playing here is.
The Rumble Match
A quick history lesson first… only the 92 Rumble was actually any good all the way through. Although other years had memorable moments, only Ric Flair’s greatest hour stands out as the prototype of how to do a really special Rumble. Perhaps part of the reason for that was the fact that the Rumble in 92 was for the Federation Championship, and featured ALL the top names of the day. A big weakness of all following Rumbles was the fact that a WWF Title match usually immediately preceded or directly followed the match, which took at least two of the top stars out of the running. This year it’s Jericho & Rock who don’t get to be part of the match, which is disappointing since Jericho’s the only guy in the WWF at the minute who could successfully pull off a heel exhibition a la Mr Flair ten years ago. As a result, and adding the other undercard wrestlers to the list of ‘missing’ superstars, and we’re left with what might be a straight choice between the top babyfaces Triple H and Steve Austin.
Let’s take a look at the contenders…
Triple H: Probably the favourite, given his new freshness and the huge pop he received on the 7th of this month in Madison Square Garden. A face HHH gives the writers something new to work with, since Austin’s been played as both a face and heel recently. The only way I can see HHH not winning the Rumble would be if they finally pull the trigger and break up the HHH/Steph marriage. It certainly seems that Stephanie has no intention of tweaking her character to be a babyface (despite her feud with Vince) and unless Tripper is turning heel again some time very soon, Steph has to be written out of Hunter’s on-screen entourage. Of course, she could’ve done us a favour and stayed off TV completely following Survivor Series, but that’s not the McMahon style. Should she turn on [whiny voice] herrrrr husband [/whiny voice], it’s likely she could end up with our next participant…
Kurt Angle: Kurt is a natural in the ring, adept at working any style the WWF has booked him in… but he’s dead in the water following his aborted babyface title run. He’s played very well into the ‘what’ chants, but another extended Angle/Austin program is simply not on the cards for the Olympic Hero. Should Stephanie finally leave HHH, Angle is the obvious choice for her to move on to. Angle’s only chance of establishing himself as a legitimate Main Eventer is to rely on the cheap heat Stephanie brings in, and moving into a program with Hunter. Should Hunter not be the man who wins the Rumble, a final, fully hyped blow-off to the Hunter-Angle-Stephanie triangle has to be seen as a potential WrestleMania match. Angle’s chances of winning the Rumble are negligible, though.
Steve Austin: The winner from 97, 98 and 2001. Austin is looking to win his unprecedented fourth Rumble match (well, he’s actually ‘unprecedented’ already, since no-one’s ever won three Rumbles… but bear with me) and that may be one of the most major factors against him winning. A fourth Rumble win, and the second in succession would indicate that the WWF are running out of fresh faces to push. If the WWF are looking to add a new name to the Rumble winner’s circle, they’ve got Triple H already primed.
Either Austin or Triple H could win the Rumble, because each one has enough drawing power and ‘overness’ to face Jericho at the WrestleMania main event. It may come down to what the booking plan is for the return of Nash, Hall & Hogan, though. One guy will presumably go on to face Jericho for the belt, and the other will likely face Hogan in a featured matchup.
Couple that with the fact that Triple H stepped out of the limelight last year to let Austin & Rock headline WMX7 and was therefore likely ‘promised’ the main event slot at WMX8, and Austin’s chances start to look a little slimmer. Don’t count him out, but I’d be very surprised if Austin makes it number 4.
Undertaker: Dammit, they have to go and make the Taker watchable again, just as we were all used to calling him lazy and pointing out his lack of selling… The problem with the heel turn (and if the WWF actually HAVE noticed, they aren’t doing a damn to change it) is the fact that fans LIKE to cheer Bad Ass butt kickers. The Undertaker’s actions over the last month or so are exactly what he should’ve been doing since the American Bad Ass character debuted at Judgment Day 2000. Regardless, Taker has been cutting a swathe through the WWF’s mid card since his ‘heel’ turn, which might actually make him a fair shot to win the Rumble. However, it’s been proven many, many times over the last couple of years that as much stick Undertaker gets for ‘protecting’ his spot, he’s always been Steve Austin’s personal bitch. The amount of times Austin has beaten Taker since SummerSlam 98’s infamous Highway to Hell feud is beyond a joke. Taker will be good for shits and giggles in the Rumble match, but at the end of the day he knows his role. A definite final 4 participant, but no way can he win.
Booker T & DDP: Oh boy. Both of these men have been turned into walking jokes, so there’s nothing much else to say here. DDP will likely be dumped out pretty quickly, and Booker, while he may last a little longer, will end up on the floor soon enough. Both these men desperately need a run as a babyface to shake off the jobber stigma they’ve been stuck with since the Invasion.
Big Show: You know, there’s actually nothing wrong with Paul Wight as a wrestler. He’s no Benoit, but as a big man he’s passable enough, and could certainly have been a draw had his booking not been so blatantly retarded. Three years of terrible booking, stupid jobbing, asinine gimmicks, and the visual of him surfing on his father’s coffin through a graveyard are hard to shake off with a WWF crowd. The WWF can’t push him as an unstoppable monster anymore because the crowd reaction would simply be “Wasn’t that the guy who used to lose every match?” Even if he ‘does a Diesel’ and eliminates a dozen guys single handed, his heat has been killed long ago, which is a shame because didn’t he sign a 10-year contract back in 99? By that reckoning, there’s another 7 years of Big Show to go.
Kane: Fantastic as a big man. Forever in his brother’s shadow though, unless they ever take the mask off and admit that the whole ‘fire’ story was a work. Kane is a deceptively well-rounded wrestler who has proven capable of getting over tons of character from behind a mask, and being able to sell really well when asked (see his two matches with Kurt Angle for proof.) Kane’s problem is similar to the Show’s in that if they were ever going to really push Kane as a top level threat, it’d have been done by now. Unlike the Show, though, Kane is still perceived as a big enough threat that the person who eliminates him could garner some serious heat.
Godfather: Oh God no… If you have to bring him back, Godfather should draw #1, since it will allow him to bring out the ho-train, give Jerry Lawler a chance to yell ‘PUPPIES!’, and get over his catchphrases. Other than that, there is no redeeming feature to Charles Wright’s return.
Val Venis: He’s talented, and has a decent look. He’s also proven more than capable of cutting a decent promo and garnering crowd heat. I wouldn’t mind seeing Val stick around for a while, since he’s the sort of decent mid card grappler who could work some matches with the Lance Storms and Edges of the WWF. Not a contender, but at least it’ll be nice to see him back and out of the RTC gimmick.
Goldust: Dustin Runnels, I presume? You know, for a guy who continually tried to get away from the Goldust character, Dustin’s only too keen to jump back in again. It’s a one night only return, allegedly, so there’s no point in getting him involved in any feuds. Goldust is here for the comedy value only, and I’d assume he’d get involved at some point with the latest ‘not really gay’ team of Gunn and Palumbo. I can imagine that Chuck & Billy will probably get all outraged by Dustin’s ambiguous sexuality that they’ll eliminate him. Hey, this stuff isn’t rocket science, y’know.
Mr Perfect: Now here’s the guy to get excited about, and a guaranteed mark-out moment for me and many others who loved Hennig’s WWF work in the late 80’s/early 90’s. So Hennig’s not actually all that ‘Perfect’ any more, but the sheer novelty of hearing the old ‘Perfect’ theme hit, and Hennig (not Stasiak) making his way down a WWF aisle is probably worth it. The WWF have always had a certain amount of respect for the ‘perfect’ gimmick, so I really hope he isn’t a quick elimination. It all depends on how much Vince wants to crush the XWF’s credibility (since Hennig is one of their perceived stars) even before they’ve debuted on TV. I’m really hoping that Perfect gets a really huge ovation, convincing Vince to poach him from the XWF at least until WrestleMania. I’d pay to see Mr Perfect v RVD, for example. He’s certainly less of a danger to locker room morale than Hall, Nash & Hogan.
Rob Van Dam: Outside chance, since he’s pinned Jericho in a tag match recently and had a no contest in the resulting title match. RVD is probably over enough with the WWF fans that they’d buy him as a WrestleMania main event wrestler. Unlikely he’d win his first Rumble, but he’s probably the third favourite (after Hunter and Austin), which is a high enough compliment to how much the WWF haven’t dropped the ball with Van Dam.
Lance Storm, Christian & Test: No chance of winning, and they’ve got to hope some of Jericho’s heel heat rubs off on them. Test has a fair chance of being this year’s ‘Diesel’ by eliminating most people, but the WWF need to do something with him (other than a feud with Tim White) before it would really mean anything.
Rikishi, Scotty Too Hotty & Albert: Maybe we’ll get a dance off between Rikishi and Albert… and on the other hand, maybe somebody will shoot me in the head if that happens.
Hurricane: Hah… a cruiserweight? Some chance…
APA & ChuckaBilly: Tag teams never do anything in the Rumble, and apart from the potential Goldust-ChuckaBilly shenanigans, there’s no reason for them to even bother.
Extras: Six more slots to fill… Well, there’s always the Big Bossman, and I suppose the Hardy Boyz could be brought back to fill two more slots. There have been rumours that Grand Master Sexay could make a return, or maybe former OVW star Rico Constantino will get his WWF on-screen debut. Apart from that, maybe they could just add inconsequential Metal guys like Funaki, Saturn, Crash or Shawn Stasiak. Who knows?
Should I buy it?
Well… The Royal Rumble match itself should be very entertaining, with a decent few top-line stars and some blasts from the past to pop the crowd. The timings of the match are up in the air right now, though. The official site makes mention of the Rumble being the ‘most exciting hour of the year’ which would indicate the standard 2 minute intervals between wrestler’s entrances, but yet that idiot Jonathan Coachman has said twice in the last week that ‘one wrestler enters every minute’. I hope the compromise is about 90 seconds. If the Rumble is announced on the card as every minute, then you know someone is booked to do a Michaels/Flair shot, entering between one and five and making it to the end.
The undercard ranges from potentially bad (Jazz-Trish) to potentially ugly (Edge-Regal or McMahon-Flair) to potentially great (Rock v Jericho) but unlike the last few WWF shows, it has actually been hyped, and every match has a reason to be on the card.
I’d say get it for Rock v Jericho and the Rumble match, and you should at least be entertained by the rest of the card.
See you next time!