Before I get started, I'd like to comment on one of the Matt Facts from SmackDown! last week: "Matt likes to eat slowly and savor his food." Now, I travel with Matt quite a bit, and that statement is true. He's a slow-eating savage. He's, as I like to call him, a hand-eatin’ bastard. He does not use utensils, ever. He eats steak with his hands. Get some White Zinfandel in him, the hair comes out, and Caveman Hardy is born, complete with steak juice all over him. The last time I saw Caveman Hardy was in South Africa, although Caveman Edge was kickin’ it that night too!

OK, last week I mentioned that I might bring up some stories about the road and Rob Zombie. It seems like many of my e-mails concern one of the two, so here goes.

One great road story involves two vans, myself, Rhyno, Christian, Joe E. Legend, Zakk Wyld (the wrestler), Chi Chi Cruz, a few others, a frozen lake in Manitoba at 4 a.m. in minus-50-degrees (Celsius) weather. You might have heard this one before, but it's worth repeating.

It was the winter of 1996, I believe. We had just finished a show at Gods Lake Narrow up in the frozen tundra of northern Manitoba. Put it this way, we were a 24-hour drive north of any real civilization (Winnipeg). To put that in to terms you might understand, that's like driving from Toronto to Ft. Lauderdale (which I've also done for spring break in high school, but we won't get into that).

This was the last show of the tour, and we all voted to make the drive that night, as opposed to waiting until the next day. Our promoter, Tony Condello (a one of a kind in this business, and that's saying something), wanted to stay the night. In hindsight, he was right, but we were sick of making Kraft dinner in the school home economics room and sleeping on blue gym mats. We had visions of dumpy beds and bowls of $2.99 all-you-can-eat pasta dancing in our heads!