{Chris Kanyon is shown at a studio getting ready for a shoot of some type of commercial}

Chris Kanyon: [Is looking into the camera] Yeah Mitch, I'm about to do the shoot of my new commercial. It's a Coors Original commercial. Could HBK or Kurt Angle ever get this commercial? Hell no! HBK shouldn't even drink beer, and Angle only drinks milk.

Director: Come on Chris, we gotta hurry, this studio is costing us a fortune, and you said you don't have much time today.

Chris Kanyon: You're damn right I don't, I'm a busy man. Also, don't talk to me like that, I won't be treated like some migrant worker, some guy who's trying to make himself, I'm a star damnit, and I'll be treated like one!

Director: Whatever, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound so rude.

{The crew scoff as the director is obviously sucking up to Kanyon}

Chris Kanyon: Okay, okay, let's start it.

{Kanyon gets in position, and ACTION! Kanyon is tossed a carton of milk and the camera zooms in on his face, he lifts it up to his face, begins to drink, and spits it out into the air like it's really gross}

Chris Kanyon: Milk? MILK?! I HATE milk, it does nothing for me. While people can go around and claim that milk is the drink that makes champions, builds your bones, whatever, what the really mean is that BEER, yes, BEER, makes champions. Look at all your classic movies, Animal Party, Old School, Girls Gone Wild, all these movies show people drinking BEER and having FUN. Now let me ask you this, would these people be having as much fun if they were drinking MILK? The answer to that is, of course, NO!

{Kanyon gets tossed a can of beer, and he chugs it, leaving some dripping down his chin}

Chris Kanyon: You don't get to fight for the INTERCONTINTAL Championship at WRESTLEMANIA by drinking milk, gatorade, or any of that stuff, you get it by drinking Coors Original, the drink of champions! Look, I had just drinken a bunch of drinks when each and every one of these things happened. And believe me, when you're in rehab for a bad injury, there is no better antidote than some BEER!

{Kanyon pauses for a few seconds, because he's not seeing the highlights now, they'll add them in later, and he begins again}

Chris Kanyon: I remember that like it was yesterday. Don't belive everything you hear about beer not being good for you, because they're just trying to take away the great experience of drinking. No better way to bond then to drink with your friends or family. Want to have some fun? Drink beer! Want to have a classy party? Drink beer, but very carefully. Want to become as good as I am? Don't drink MILK, drink BEER!

{Two beers are tossed to Kanyon, and he bites one in the middle and drinks it, and then cracks the other one open by pounding it into his head and drinks it}

Chris Kanyon: Part of the fun in drinking beer is the way you do it. There are so many different ways, it's a blast every time you pop the can.

Director: Cut! Cut! Great, great work Kanyon! I'm sure that will turn out fantastically.

Chris Kanyon: No doubt about it! I mean who betta an actor than Kanyon? Nobody! But I have a question, what highlights are you going to use?

Director: Well I'm a wrestling fan, so I'll let you pick your greatest moments. You've been involved in some great ones, so which ones do you want?

Chris Kanyon: Well, for some active ones, how about me pinning Sid for the Intercontinental Title, and me pinning X-Pac on Revenge, can you put something in there about me beating HBK in that match too?

Director: Sure, no problem? What else? We need a few more highlights.

Chris Kanyon: How about me winning that five way match a few weeks ago on Revenge too? Oh, and put something of me walking around with the WWE Tag Title and WCW US Title. Also, one more... uh, how about, me climbing the ladder and winning the Intercontinental Title at WrestleMania?

Director: But that hasn't happened.

Chris Kanyon: Yet! I will do it this year. PWA WrestleMania One, I will become a champion once again. Just record it from the show and air it during the show. Vince won't care, he'll like the promotion. Did you know that's he's ecstatic over me being in the PWA? He loves it because I'm such a huge star and I bring credability to the promotion and the fans LOVE me. They chant my name night after night, day after day, going wild whenever I show up. I'm their hero man, and I'm the reason they live. It's not because of some freak named HBK, or some jackass named Kurt Angle, that won an Olympic medal with a "broken freaking neck". I won the Intercontinental Title with skills man, I didn't make any excuses, and I went out there and dominated. You know why I didn't make excuses? No? Because I KNEW I was going to win, just like I KNOW I'm going to win at Wrestlemania. Remember when I took the fall off of the triple cage from Awesome? Yeah, nobody though I'd be back. But look at me now man, look where I am, ready to strike and ready to show the word what a dominate force I truly am.

Director: Now don't break your arm patting yourself on the back, you don't want to go into the biggest match of your life hurt.

Chris Kanyon: Shut up you jackass! Nobody thinks you're funny, and nobody will think you're funny. I gotta go, and meet up with my friend. Later man, thanks for the opportunity, but you're just lucky I didn't feel like going out to LA to shoot with a bigger company.

{Kanyon leaves the arena where a limo is sitting outside, and Kanyon opens the door and goes into it. CHRIS JERICHO is sitting inside! Kanyon begins to speak}

Chris Kanyon: Hey man, thanks for picking me up. I dunno how else I would be able to get to the arena otherwise, I hate this god damn place. So many hicks, and I don't get any love man. The fans here WANT to love me, but they seem to have me for some reason. I don't know, they must be brainwashed or something. I mean how could ANYBODY not like me?

Chris Jericho: Don't worry man, they're all losers. They're nothing compared to Y-2-J and the Ayatolla of Rock and Rolla... CHRIS JERICHO... and uh Chris Kanyon.

Chris Kanyon: I don't know man, I'd say I'm just as good as you are if not better.

Chris Jericho: Hey man, don't act like a sucka.

Chris Kanyon: What?

Chris Jericho: Well I ain't not no sucka, and...

Chris Kanyon: Hey man, I ain't not no sucka neither.

Chris Jericho: I never said you were man. You're not like the HAS-BEEN-KID Shawn Micheals, or the Olympic Dork Kirk Angel, that's for sure.

Chris Kanyon: No, that's fo sho. I'll destroy those freaks with relative ease man. Come on man, KURT ANGLE, the man doesn't have ANY talent. What has he done lately? Wow, he's an olympic gold medalist. Big "freaking" deal. I could have done that too, if I didn't HAVE a LIFE.

Chris Jericho: Hey man, don't be hatin' on him. He's got some real skills and I can outmatch you if he brings his A game. Hahaha, had you there for a second. I was the FIRST Undisputed Champion. I am the BEST thing in wrestling, and I almost BEAT Angle back in 2000 before I even came CLOSE to reaching my prime. Show him how a CHRIS fights man, and show him how a WINNER fights.

Chris Kanyon: Chris' ARE winners! Kirks, Shawns, they're definately losers. What a coincidence, Kurt and Shawn, they're going to lose, and I'm going to win, while you'll be DECIDING the winner of the World Title in the Main Event.

Chris Jericho: That's right, they have to abide by MY rules to win the match. If they piss me off, I'll give them their payback.

Chris Kanyon: I don't need any help, if that's what you're offering [Jericho nods that no], oh, well I don't need it anyways. Nobody can beat me Jericho, nobody in this world. People search the world for people like me to win them championships, to be able to ride me into fame, so they could become famous. I'm like Andre the Giant in every way, except smarter, I have talent, I'm not a giant, I have more friends, and I'm more famous.

Chris Jericho: If his name was only Chris, then we know that he'd truly be a superstar, like all other Chris'. Benoit, Jericho, Kanyon, Nowinski, we're all famous.

Chris Kanyon: And we're all supertalented. People on the street know us and we're their gods. Remember when we were in Japan and the fans erupted whenever we left our hotels or the plane, whatever, they love us. Europe, same thing. Asia, same EXACT THING. USA, whatever, all the fans love us and know us.

Chris Jericho: It's odd to think that we haven't been attacked or anything like that, considering how popular we are. It's an odd occurance when people like us don't get treated like superstars, that's why I have to lay low at night and not go on many dates.

Chris Kanyon: Same here, all the ladies love me and want me, you know, the usual, but I don't want to leave the house because the fans will always ambush me and make it impossible to do anything. I have to decline all these invitations to parties, it's annoying.

{The BS conversation continues as Jericho and Kanyon keep on lying and lying unti the camera finally fades}