WoW, this week went by so fast. I guess it's a good thing because I can't wait till Razor!
-How is Tiger Sid's temper lately? Obviously he tries to keep his temper composed until he steps into the ring but that is easier said than done Since He Clobbered The Surprise Special Guest Ref Josiah During his Match against Mox Last Week ,thus earning himself a Dq. How will Sid hold out until Razor? With so much angst, courtesy of Josiah, and so much hatred for the man and so much passion for getting big in the RPW...how will he hold out against Jack Black ? Is it not too overwhelming for him?-
Scene: A large New York city Lexus dealer where New York's K-rock rock radio station has organized a considerably large event. It is the site of the radio station's first, perhaps annual, "Sports stars and Sports cars". Cane and Cabbie, K-rock's radio jocks are there calling the show for both the television coverage at the event and the live radio coverage.
'radio jock' Cane: Wooooh! Ladies and gentlemen we are back! We're back on air, hope you enjoyed that nice piece of music, that track was the brand new track "falls on me" which Fuel has laid down for yall out there.
'radio jock' Cabbie: And those here at "Sports stars and Sports cars 2003" right here live, right at this awesome shiny lexus dealer...all those right here in front me how ya doing?
The crowd reacts.
'radio jock' Cabbie: Thaz right! Thanks for hanging in there we just took a little break and we are back here ready to blow your minds!
'radio jock' Cane: Oh yeah, as you folks know we have been here all morning, since about what, 6? We were on at 6 but all you fans were out here wicked early! We've been checking out brand new cars, we've had exhibits here demonstrations test drives, you name it! And of course a whole lot of sport stars have dropped in and you guys greeted em like new yorkers! You guys got to pick up some autographs, chill, talk with the guys, man it was awesome.
'radio jock' Cabbie: Heck yeah it was awesome! Man I talked to Jason Giambi-
The crowd "woohs"
'radio jock' Cabbie: Yeah! I talked to him and he said he was digging all this and digging all the cars and digging all the fans!
'radio jock' Cane: Thanks Jason it means a lot! We try and man, I gotta tell you this event is a success, I gotta hand it to all of you and all of us this is really awesome! It's only noon, and it's all good we still got a lot of stuff a head. A lot of athletes are gonna stop by give yall a holler, the boys here at New York Lexus gonna show a lot of cool stuff, a lot of cool cars, and of course sports cars! WOOOO HOOOO!
'radio jock' Cabbie: Check em out folks if you ever dreamt of sitting in one of these babies them come on down and check out all the shininess and all the specs and all the awesomeness!
'radio jock' Cane: We sports cars here of all kinds now folks. The boys of Lexus are show casing their sportiest cars and have brought awesome sports cars from long ago and not so long ago too! Fords, chevys, all sports cars! Check them out! Folks at home I know you dig the music you are hearing on the radio but come on out! It is rockin'! We have all these cars...these awesome cars all gathered together...I mean its a sports car fans dream! And of course...all this food...
'radio jock' Cabbie: Hmmm smells awesome!
'radio jock' Cane: Check all these cars even some antiques and quick come on over we have a ton of room here for all of you and when else are you going to get the chance to meet these famous sports stars?!
'radio jock' Cabbie: You know folks I really hope your buying stuff out here at this mighty mighty event, you know whether you are buying the fine Lexus automobiles, or some shirts, some sports gear, some food or just coke, its all supporting K-rock work in charity for hungry and homeless children! So feed the children and feed yourselves. Help is help guys. and if you are interested in one of the Lexus automobiles...one of these awesome sports car well the hi-lite of the day is coming up so stick around! We gonna hit it off with some music right for you and remember...if you are not here yet come on down, the Lexus boys have hauled all the extra room for these cars and people, come on down for some awesome music because remember! White stripes are playing today! This is a free show, a free event but when we're full then we're full so hurry and claim your spot on the lot!
The djs play some music and commercials for the listeners at home as well as those at the event. During the break a lot is going on and supervisors and workers are clearing out an area of the event and setting up equipment on the stage.
'radio jock' Cane: Hi and hey we are back at sports stars and sports cars 2003 woooh! You know we mention ealier about the hi-lite of the day...well we have been mentioning it all week and the time as come! The time has come for the sports stars and sports cars Lexus sport challenge! Ladies and gentlemen as you probably remember if you have been easy on the beer, when you entered you were registered and given a ticket with a number on it! Grab those tickets out right now because now is your chance to win a Lexus, lemme say, a 2003 Lexus SC 430 Convertible...a very awesome sports car. It has been on display all day and hopefully you have checked it out and looked at all the specs. I mean this car is what it is all about! You've heard about all the features through out today and the week leading up to this so let's just get right into the drawing where we will draw 8 people from the huge crowd we got out here. Now the way to win this car is to keep at least one hand on the car at all times. You've seen this done all over but what's different here at K-rock's sports stars and sports cars 2003 is that not you the fans would have a chance to win a car that will compete....a sports star will compete in your favor! Last sports star with their hand on the car wins it for one of you! These are athletes, so we are prepared for an all nighter if we have to! Now Cabbie, you're down on the stage now let's get started!
'radio jock' Cabbie: Alright folks if I could get your attention up here on the stage. In just a second I will bring out the first sports star and then pick a name from the big rolling cage right here! Whoever is picked please approach the guards up here near the car and take a seat at this little watching gallery we have set up so you guys can watch your sports star win...or loose! Now, first off ladies and gentlemen! He is a pitcher for your very own New York Mets, ladies and gentlemen, Dan wheeler! Come on down to the car Dan!
Dan Wheeler approaches the car, giving a few hand shakes on the way.
'radio jock' Cabbie: And now the name I have just picked out of the cage...is....Mike Myrtle! Mr. Myrtle please come on down show us your ticket and take a seat you have the chance to win a brand new Lexus SC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A very excited makes come on up gives NY Pitcher a high five and takes a seat.
'radio jock' Cabbie: And now please welcome another New York ball player! Yankee short stop, Derek Jeter! WOOOOOO! And Derek Jeter will be playing and maybe winning a car for:...Eric Kostarski! Eric come on down show us your ticket and have a seat!
Jeter is welcomed by the crowd very loudly and Eric hops on down to the car site.
'radio jock' Cabbie: Now...please welcome, Olympic medalist, welterweight and lightweight champion of boxing and on and on this guy is the one and only OSCAR DE LA HOOOYAAAAAAAA! And Oscar will be playing for: Sharon Godfrey! Miss Sharon come on down!
'radio jock' Cabbie: Next, welcome yet another New York ball player...foot ball that is...running back, TIKI BARBER!.....who will be playing for: Agnes DeLong! Agnes you know what to do!
'radio jock' Cabbie: That's 4...4 more to go, welcome to our event, Giants' full back...JIM FINN! Who will be playing for....: Marcus Garcia! Marcus it's your lucky day!
'radio jock' Cabbie: Next up, ladies and gentlemen please welcome From RPW pro wrestler, and perhaps future World champion, A Real American The Incredible- Tiger Sid! And Sid, big guy, you will be playing for: CeeCee Ceaser! CeeCee, come on down!
Sid comes up to the car with a smile on his face and greets the athletes he will be competing against.
'radio jock' Cabbie: Next up, US National Soccer player and Metrostar player, Clint Mathis! Clint, you will be playing for none other than..., whoops lemme just unfold this paper here and here we are...you will be playing for Badjiro Kashiri! Mr. Badj come on up and sit down with us!
'radio jock' Cabbie: And finally, number eight, former Net, and now your very own knick! Basketball's KEEEEITH VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN HOOOOOOOOOOORN!
Cabby raises his hands up in the air like a ref would after Keith scores a 3 pointer.
'radio jock' Cabbie: And the final person with the chance to win an awesome car!!!!! Is.....: Richard Kemp! RRRICHIE you are soooo lucky now come on down! There you have it! Remember now officials are standing by keeping a close eye on who's hand comes off the car! Now... the only rule that I have to address now that was not addressed before is...NO BREAKS GUYS!!!!! NO BATHROOM BREAKS EITHER!!!!! Hope you went easy on the Gatorade! Hands on the Lexus SC Sports car...and we BEGIIIIINNNNN!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! And oh yeah..no pushing or shoving...we will disqualify!
'radio jock' Cane: And here is a set of music for you listeners to K-rock! See ya in a few! Remember, keep listening for the winner if you can't make it here today! And we'll even air White Stripes live on the radio when they come down to play! Enjoy this, let's kick off with some Audioslave!
The athletes have their hands on the Lexus car and the corresponding people playing for the car are cheering them on right from the start! Let me tell you, this is some competition. Right from the start the athletes start chattering which eventually turns into some form or another of trash talking.
'pitcher' Dan Wheeler: This is fun isn't it? Playing for loyal fans...competing for their pleasure.
'boxer' Oscar de la Hoya: It is an awesome car. I love it a lot. I like it when I am in nice car.
'pitcher' Dan Wheeler: Uh huh.
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Did you all drink your Gatorade? Eat your wheaties with milk? I knew what this contest would be about so I planned ahead!
'running back' Tiki Barber: Man they should give us breaks tho, maybe like one maybe.
'full back' Jim Finn: LIke you are used to breaks?
'running back' Tiki Barber: What you mean? During a game?
'full back' Jim Finn: Never mind.
'short stop' Derek Jeter: So eh...how are we all doing? What about you Clint...how are you since the cup?
'world class' Clint Mathis: Ah good man. How are you since I last talk to you?
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Pretty good.
'pitcher' Dan Wheeler: Hah!
'short stop' Derek Jeter: What?
'world class' Clint Mathis: Nothing.
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Not you!
'world class' Clint Mathis: Then who?
'forward' Keith van Horn: Me?
'pitcher' Dan Wheeler: No! Nevermind!
'short stop' Derek Jeter: No you!
'pitcher' Dan Wheeler: Me?
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Gah! You hahed at me!
'pitcher' Dan Wheeler: Me?
'short stop' Derek Jeter: YES!
'pitcher' Dan Wheeler: No...
'world class' Clint Mathis: YES!
'pitcher' Dan Wheeler: Ah just forget about it.
'boxer' Oscar de la Hoya: Yeah, we have the long contest ahead of us. We can't be as distracting like this.
'full back' Jim Finn: Yeah, but it be boring just standing around.
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Let me tell you guys, this is going to be very boring for all of you...because I am not going anywhere. There is now way I am letting one of my fans down.
'pitcher' Dan Wheeler: You seam to do it well out on the diamond!
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Shaddup!
'pitcher' Dan Wheeler: Me?
'world class' Clint Mathis: Not this again...
'pitcher' Dan Wheeler: Sheesh.
'forward' Keith van Horn: You guys think you're clever with this stuff? I'm as hard as rock over here, I ain't budging!..Peh, think you can annoy your way to victory.
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Hard as a rock! Haha! The maybe going isn't a bad idea! [winks]
'forward' Keith van Horn: You aren't funny man...or annoying!
'boxer' Oscar de la Hoya: Relax, this is fun thnig we are doing for a good cause...that's all.
'running back' Tiki Barber: True that boys. True that.
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Hey what about you big guy?
'running back' Tiki Barber: Yeah?
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Not you!
'boxer' Oscar de la Hoya: Me?
'short stop' Derek Jeter: I said big guy!
'boxer' Oscar de la Hoya: Hey, shove off!
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Wrestling guy. How's it going there Sid? Rather quite aren't ya?
'Incredible'Sid: i'm Fine Jackass...thanks for asking.
---3 hours later...it is 2:45 and so far: Jim Finn left the competition because his hand slipped...even though he had been squirming around like crazy as if he had to...urinate.
'forward' Keith van Horn: It's kinda hot out.
'boxer' Oscar de la Hoya: Yes. The black car is taking heat and making the warm on when we touch car.
'forward' Keith van Horn: Huh?
'boxer' Oscar de la Hoya: Iz hot.
'world class' Clint Mathis: I wonder how Jim is doing? Anyone else need to go?
'running back' Tiki Barber: Maybe you do man?
'pitcher' Dan Wheeler: Hah...what a girl.
'running back' Tiki Barber: Naw man Jim's a good guy. He's cool like that. His hand probably just slipped like he said.
'pitcher' Dan Wheeler: Yeah while squirming around like crazy!!!!
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Say Sid?...Say something. I haven't heard from you since...well I don't know.
'Incredible'Sid: What do you want to hear?
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Anything!
'pitcher' Dan Wheeler: You don't seem that talkative.
'Incredible'Sid: Ah...well call it a strategy if you must. I rather just keep to myself. No distraction...is a good thing.
'boxer' Oscar de la Hoya: But you can go crazy if not doing something or saying something.
'Incredible'Sid: Let's just say...I'm Getting used to it...alright Jackass?
'short stop' Derek Jeter: You do it a lot in RPW?
'Incredible'Sid: No.
---2 hours later it is about 5 pm. By now yet another football player, Tiki Barber has left the competition because of cramp that he says: "would have slowed up his game"
'short stop' Derek Jeter: What a shame boys...2 football players...gone. Now... let's see...the next support after football...is what pro wrestling right? The sport of pro wrestling?
'Incredible'Sid: Do you expect me to comment on that?
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Well...seems like all the big guys have left...except you...
'Incredible'Sid: I'm doing fine over here.
---Just one hour later it is 6pm, still light outside. In just one hour, Keith van Horn and Clint Mathis both are out of the game! These athletes are probably doing worse than the fans would in this kind of contest. Only four people are left and Derek Jeter is as annoying as ever.
'pitcher' Dan Wheeler: Would you just shut up? So what!? The guys left...they were probably sick of you Derek...NOW SHUT UP!
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Shut up you stringer!
'pitcher' Dan Wheeler: You!
'short stop' Derek Jeter: YOU!
'pitcher' Dan Wheeler: YOU!
'short stop' Derek Jeter: I ain't letting Eric down! My fans always win when it's up to me!
'pitcher' Dan Wheeler: SHUT UP!
'short stop' Derek Jeter: YOU!
'boxer' Oscar de la Hoya: Both of you!
'Incredible'Sid: SHUT UP! All of you! Just stop it...stop it now. How much more of this do I have to listen to?
'short stop' Derek Jeter: What brought out the hibernating Tiger in you!? Huh? Crawl back into your cave and keep quite!
'Incredible'Sid: Perhaps I will you dipstick! Quit cha yapping maybe we could get some sleep and get this over with quickah'
'boxer' Oscar de la Hoya: Asleep!? Ah ha ha!
'pitcher' Dan Wheeler: I ain't going to take much more of this...but after I loose...if I loose...I'm going to spread the word about your crazy self man.
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Shut up you stringer! When was the last time I saw you play?!
'pitcher' Dan Wheeler: Just shut up!
'boxer' Oscar de la Hoya: Both of you!
'Incredible'Sid: All of you!
---The djs give an update.
'radio jock' Cane: Hey all we are still here and we'd just like to update...you know we are full over here but for those of you that couldn't make it...so far, pro wrestler Tiger Sid, baseball stars Derek Jeter and Dan Wheeler, and boxer Oscar de la Hoya still remain in the contest!
---And hour and a half later the White Stripes have come, played, and gone. Mets' pitcher Dan Wheeler left the contest during a rendition of "7 Nation Army"...or should we say, was disqualified after nudging Jeter in frustration!
'boxer' Oscar de la Hoya: You know what I must hand it to you, you know this? Van horn said he wouldn't be a pissed because you annoy, but he gone now and you remain. You are playing asmart!
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Listen man...all I am doing is being friendly! I'm a pretty shy guy...
'boxer' Oscar de la Hoya: Ah well. Not as shy as the wrestler...
'Incredible'Sid: Ah and is that cue for me to come in...and say something? I have said this time...and time...again...just don't talk to me!
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Hey Sid You see Eric K over there? You see him? I see him sitting there...and also sitting in a brand new LEXUS BABY! And I see myself....an even bigger star!
'Incredible'Sid: Big star? How come I haven't heard of you before then? You're nothing but a pathetic little Joke!
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Stroke your own Joke you...choke!
'boxer' Oscar de la Hoya: Hah!
'Incredible'Sid: What?!?
'boxer' Oscar de la Hoya: You heard the man!
'short stop' Derek Jeter: That's right!
---At about 8pm it is already getting darker and huge lights now beam down on the contest. Surprisingly...the same three men are still in the competition! How is Sid doing this?
'Incredible'Sid: Just stop talking all together! I must say this flat out! I am very pestered by you!
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Good then! Good it's all good! Eric is winning this car!
'Incredible'Sid: This is that important to you? It doesn't matter if you or I win...but for the sake of you loosing then CeeCee Ceaser is winning this contest!
--Another hour passes and these guys are very tired. They resting their whole upper bodies on the car...at times.
'boxer' Oscar de la Hoya: Man guys I want to win this car for my peep just as much as you 2...but this is getting harder and harder!
'short stop' Derek Jeter: No problem...
---At 10 pm it is dark outside but the beaming lights keep the competitors awake.
'radio jock' Cane: YAWN. My my, 10 o'clock isn't it now? Wow...three guys left. You know I can really smell the end of this soon.
'radio jock' Cabbie: This is really amazing...these pro athletes standing in one place for a whole day! Sorry guys...but it's for a good cause remember! Win a fan a car and win some money for a good charity group.
'radio jock' Cane: That's right. Lexus here is really helping is out here. You know all these fans that are still gathered around here watching you guys stand it out gotta drink and eat something too! So thank you for Mr. Dee's hot dogs for the refreshments and thank you Miller Lite! The official beer of sports stars and sports car 2003.
---Sid has just about enough of Derek.
'short stop' Derek Jeter: What you going to do? Hit me with a chair? Huh? Pay me to let you pin me?
'Incredible'Sid: You shut your Mealy Little mouth! I'm more of an athlete than you little man!
'boxer' Oscar de la Hoya: Hah!
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Shut up...it's not like Boxing is any more real of a sport!
'Incredible'Sid: Look at yourself! You don't look like an athlete... and you sound like a freak. Do you ever stop! Do you ever just stop and shut your mouth for good!?
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Talk to the hand...the one touching this car...the one that's going to win this car for Eric!
'Incredible'Sid: Shut the hell up you Mealy Mouth son of a bitch!!
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Nice one!
'boxer' Oscar de la Hoya: Come on fellas. Listen...I don't think I can take any more of this. Don't tell Sharon though...hah! I really think it will be up to you 2 to win this.
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Just shut up and hang in there. We have to beat out this Redneck right here!
'Incredible'Sid: Redneck?
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Ah hahahaha! Look at him! Look at his ugly face!
'boxer' Oscar de la Hoya: Boy am I thirsty.
'Incredible'Sid: I don't need to say anything to prove your ignorance! Look at yourself!
'short stop' Derek Jeter: You look at yourself big man. What you got to say about yourself? 'ooo look at me i'm a wrestler...i pretend to hurt people, mate...mate!!!'.
'Incredible'Sid: I pity you Idiot.
'short stop' Derek Jeter: I pity you! Get a real job!
'Incredible'Sid: You get a real job! Stand around on a field all day...hardly move out there! I have seen baseball! I have seen your stupid work!
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Baseball is my life man. It's tough!
'Incredible'Sid: Oh yeah...standing out pretending to be quick...ey Jackass? Hit a ball once in a month...and get all the money in the damn world ey?
'short stop' Derek Jeter: I work for my money!
'Incredible'Sid: Oh I can tell. Look at your flimsey body!
'boxer' Oscar de la Hoya: Hah!
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Look at the flab on Oscah'!
'Incredible'Sid: Shut up! I don't care what you have to say! You are dirt...you are nothing...I don't have the patience for you!
'boxer' Oscar de la Hoya: Lay off ok?
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Hey man take back what you said about baseball. That's not cool!
'Incredible'Sid: No!!! I don't have the patience for it!
'short stop' Derek Jeter: I don't give a damn about your patience! What are you going to do? Huh? Gonna loose your temper? Then what will you do!
'Incredible'Sid: Oh believe me ... you don't want to know.
'short stop' Derek Jeter: What...gonna wrestle me to death? You're not anything...you're no Wrestling champ!
'Incredible'Sid: I will be an RPw Champion damn it!
'short stop' Derek Jeter: I don't give a crap...no respect baseball or else!
'Incredible'Sid: Or else what?
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Do it! Respect my sport!
'Incredible'Sid: Never! Shut your mouth!
'boxer' Oscar de la Hoya: Guys...
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Shut your mouth...and take it back!
'Incredible'Sid: Never!
'short stop' Derek Jeter: I don't like haters man....I'm warning you!
'Incredible'Sid: What can a man of your...stature do to me?
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Oh is that a threat? You want to start something?
'Incredible'Sid: Oh believe me I do!
'short stop' Derek Jeter: I'm sick of your attitude! You wanna start something! Huh?
'Incredible'Sid: OHH HEELL YEEEEAAHH!
'short stop' Derek Jeter: Pshh you ain't got nothing on me...ahhhhhh!
Derek Jeter let's go over the car starts pumping his arms as a threat to Sid. Sid let's go of the car and approaches Jeter and then Jeter speares Sid in the gut! Sid drags Jeter to the ground! The crowd is reacting to the brawl with loud gasps and at the same time many are cheering the now victorious Oscar de la Hoya!
'boxer' Oscar de la Hoya: Yes thank thank thank you all!
'radio jock' Cane: Ladies and Gentlemen that is it! Oscar wins...and..security? Wow, hey come on you too! Hey somebody stop those two! Let's here it for Oscar! The 2003 Lexus sports stars and sports car challenge winner! And Sharon! You win a new Lexus SC Sports car!!!
Jeter and Sid are really Going at it. Jeter pummels away at Sid's' chest and Sid grapples him left and right! Security comes to pull the two away from each other...security isn't really sure what to do...but they let Jeter go and just hold of Sid. Jeter laughs in Sid's face! Sharon Godfrey then now owner of a brand new Lexus sports car is celebrating with Oscar de la Hoya, hugging and kissing him. Meanwhile Tiger Sid is carried away into a back area and out of view and Jeter heads in the same direction. Fireworks go off as Oscar and the car winner continue to celebrate!
