SAM THE EGG

٭ The scene opens with Sam the Egg playing Virtual Pro Wrestling 2 for Nintendo 64. Apparently it’s better than bowling. Suddenly, Sam’s friend who nobody knows shows up for no reason to say stuff ٭

Jimmy: So, JCvAl is really irritating, huh?

 

Sam The Egg: How could you tell?

 

Jimmy: Well, you told me that JCvAl is really irritating.

 

STE: Oh. Well, yeah he is.

 

Jimmy: So, some Japanese guy is beating up the JCval CAW on your video game.

 

STE: Yeah, it’s Keiji Mutoh, one of the many stars you’ll see in the new XHWF Japan league! (Cheap Pop)

 

Jimmy: Oh, ok. So, are you going to go outside?

 

STE: Why?

 

Jimmy: Seems like the thing to do.

 

STE: Ok, here, play video games.

 

٭ Sam the Egg goes outside his dressing room to find Lillian Garcia standing there ٭

 

STE: Why are you here?

 

Lillian: I’m waiting to interview you. Apparently you’re supposed to make fun of my boob size and cut a promo on JCval.

 

STE: Uh…ok. Do I have to make a joke about your boob size? That seems unbelievably sophomoric.

 

LG: I guess not, thanks!

 

STE: No problem. So, JCval…By the way, you look a whole lot like Mark Calloway. JCval, you seem to be thinking a whole lot of things that are either untrue of have nothing to do with anything, and it’s unusual that you’d be thinking a whole lot of things anyways. First of all, what makes you think that Tremor is my boss? What makes you think that I’m associated with Tremor at all? I have a tremendous respect for Tremor, and I think that he’d be able to kill you any day of the week, except Tuesdays and Sundays, because Tuesdays he watches whatever movies are out at the time and Sundays he goes to church, and not the chicken place either, an actual church. But that’s still 5 days that he would kill you in any type of match! And you also seem to think that you’ll be able to beat me at War zone! Well, let me introduce someone to you.

٭ Pulls out a Japanese person from OC ٭

STE: This is Mitsuharu Misawa, another of the many stars you’ll be seeing in XHWF Japan. He’s been training me day in and day out every day since I challenged you. You have no chance of winning, now! I’m getting trained by one of the greatest wrestlers of all time! And you’re just a green, talent less , redneck idiot! That little half of a yam you call a brain is just rattling inside that thick-skulled mostly empty head of yours, and each time it hits against the inside of your skull you loose countless of brain cells that were only half alive in the first place. Why, in a month or so, you’ll be a vegetable, sitting in your lockerroom in front of some imaginary video-game until you fall over and drown in a puddle of your own drool. If I were you, I’d crawl into a corner with a mouthful of shotgun and my toe on the trigger. But thank God almighty that I’m not you. I’m ٭ Once again mocking RVD’s taunt ٭ Sam *Thumbs* The *Thumbs* Egg *Thumbs* And you had better get ready for that ‘Earth Shaking’ surprise.

Nooch.

٭ Sam walks back into his dressing room ٭