BH: I know what that move was, Thor calls it the “Stockholm Syndrome”.
JS: Geez, I wonder how you found that out?
BH: I am NOT a Man Fan.
Inside the ring, SMB tags in Dan.
Pharaoh is getting to his feet outside as SMB leaps atop the ropes and lets fly with a Monkey Bomb that nails Pharaoh.
Inside the ring, Dan man handles Spyro before scooping him up and hitting him with The Man Eater. Dan covers and Bob Rooney counts the 1,2,3.
JS: Team Man retains their titles this week, but what will happen at the wild Triple Threat at Genocide this Sunday?
BH: It could be the LOD gaining revenge, or it even could be Mex Tex Luchadoris with that sexy Si Howe.
Dan grabs the Tag Titles and slings one over his shoulder.
Thor and SMB stand next to one another and Dan acts like he’s going to put the other belt over SMB’s shoulder.
JS: About time he let his partner hold the other title.
Instead, Dan places the title over the shoulder of Thor. SMB looks horrified as Thor strokes the gold as if it were his own.
He and Dan leave arms over shoulders like best buddies.
SMB fumes, and smacks both Lance and Sven for good measure before exiting as well.
JS: What in the hell?
BH: Ha Ha, SMB is jealous of Thor.
JS: This is getting weirder and freakier by the day this Team Man saga.
BH: Isn’t it just great television?
JS: Well, it’s something alright.
Cut to commercial:
Parking Lot
A big long stretch limo pulls up into the arena and comes to a stop. The back door opens and out steps The President of SHWF Jeff Baker. He has a serious look on his face as he strides towards the entrance way. A cute black woman in a business suit rushes up to Mr. Baker.
President Jeff Baker: Are they here yet?
Assistant: Who sir?
President Jeff Baker: Those...Three. Ravage, Jason and most of all Aaron Gebhardt.
Assistant: Uh yes sir, they're about to sign the contracts for the match at Genocide.
President Jeff Baker: Really? Well, we'll see about that won't we?
He walks off leaving the woman with a confused look on her face.
Cut to commercial:
Mayhem booker Aaron Gebhardt is standing in the ring as we return from the commercial. In the middle of the ring sits a table and two metal folding chairs. Aaron has a house mic on one hand and a contract in another. He smiles out over the capacity audience and begins to speak.
Aaron: Now it's my privilege to sign the match that I personally will think will steal the show at Genocide, Ravage and Gangsta White! Without further wait I offer you the former two time World Heavyweight Champion, "The sexy beast of Garden Grove" Ravage!
The fans pop big as STP'S "Sex Type Thing" hits the PA system. Ravage comes out and the cheers turn instantly to a huge round of boos. A sign in the audience reads "Ravage is a sell out." Ravage makes his way down to the ring and rolls inside. He climbs to the second turnbuckle and flips off the crowd getting another huge chorus of boos. He smiles and climbs off the turnbuckles. He paces back and forth looking in the best shape of his life.
Aaron: And his opponent for the Genocide PPV, making his return to SHWF, "The white boy you love to hate" Gangsta White!
The lights in the arena black out and the moaning sounds of sex fill the arena. Pyros explode and the lights come up to Rob Zombie's "More Human Than Human." Gangsta makes his way to ringside as the fans actually seem happy to see him. He slides into the ring takes a house mic out of his back pocket and gives Ravage the once over.
Aaron: Now, hey easy guys, I just want this to go nice and easy okay?
Ravage snatches the mic out of Aaron's hand and points at Gangsta.
Ravage: Let me warn you Jason, you sign that contract and I will END your career for good. You should've never come back and you sure as Hell never should have fucked with me. So what's it's gonna be "gangster?"
The fans begin a chant of "asshole, asshole" but Ravage only ignores them.
Gangsta: Shit cuz, let's not beat around the bush. I say we go right now!
The crowd pops huge but Aaron quickly gets between the two men to break up any incidents.
Aaron: Whoa, no way guys. Save it until the PPV. In fact, to make sure this is gonna be a match people remember, let's make this a Last Man Standing Match!
The crowd pops huge again and Gangsta shakes his head in approval. Ravage only looks at him with contempt. Gangsta takes contract smiles at Ravage and starts to sign his name to the contract. Suddenly the music of the President of SHWF Jeff Baker hits and he strides out onto the entrance ramp with a mic.
President Jeff Baker: Whoa what the HELL is going on? Aaron, YOU work for ME! Jason YOU work for ME! Jason I told you that you are NOT cleared by any doctor to step into a SHWF ring. SHWF is not willing to allow this match to happen at Genocide I'm sorry.
The fans boo him like he's from Iraq as Aaron looks pissed. Gangsta however only smiles.
Gangsta: Jeffrey, I had a feeling you might try and come out here and crash my party. So you know what? I had myself looked at by a certified Doctor before I came to Mayhem tonight and I HAVE a Doctor's note saying I can wrestle!
President Jeff Baker is shaking his head.
President Jeff Baker: No way, no FREAKIN' way would any doctor in his right mind allow you to wrestle Jason.
Gangsta: (smiling) Hey, he is ANYTHING but in his right mind.
With that, "Do ya think I'm sexy?" hits the PA system and gets a huge POP as Dr. Tittylover comes out in his scrubs and rubber gloves. He hands Jeff the Doctor's release and before the President can even look at it, Dr. Tittylover starts freak dancing on Jeff. The President tries to back away but trips and falls on his ass as Dr. Tittylover starts in with the pelvic thrusts to Jeff's face. The crowd is going crazy as inside Gangsta is laughing and pointing.
Behind him Ravage picks up a metal chair and slams it across Gangsta's back dropping him to his knees. The music stops and Dr. Tittylover and Jeff Baker watch on as Ravage shoves Aaron to the mat and yells at Gangsta to get to his feet. Gangsta uses the ropes to pull himself up and turns around only to take a wicked chair shot to the skull that lays him out. Ravage tosses the chair aside, picks up the contract off the mat and signs it. He lays it on the table and pulls a semi conscious Gangsta to his feet nailing a "Ravage Indignation!" Security and officials rush out and break up the chaos as the fans pelt Ravage with boos and derbies. Aaron Gebhardt crawls across the ring and checks on a hurting Gangsta White.
Cutto commercial:
Devestation - Knight / SHWF Super Hardcore Title / Cage match
The steel cage lowers itself over the ring as the fans clamor in their seats for tonight’s main event. Knight’s rap theme blasts across the arena and the 6’11” 350 pounder stalks his way to the ring minus his running buddy Triple X.
Knight looks all business as he shakes the cage to test it’s strength before hulking into the cage where he waits like a bird of prey.
BH: Oh man, Knight is such an impressive specimen, I should bet the farm on him tonight.
JS: You sound like Lawler now Brain.
BH: Don’t ever compare me to that blowhard gambling addict/statutory rapist pervert.
JS: Wow, some harsh words.
Knights theme dies down and is replaced by Devastation’s strobe lights and smoke/mirrors vibe as his metal theme scorches the PA.
The Super Hardcore Champion emerges with the title slung proudly over his shoulder as he walks briskly to the ring with an intense glare in his eye.
JS: Both men look hungry for this win, should be a regular Slobberknocker.
BH: Look who’s starting to sound like JR.
JS: Oh whatever. Still, one has to wonder how this will affect Devastation before his big Triple Threat match at Genocide for his Super Hardcore Title.
BH: A stupid move to accept a cage match this close to a major title defense.
Referee Calvin Broadus starts the match after showing off the title and gets out of the way as the two massive superstars collide in a collar and elbow tie up.
Knight muscles the slightly smaller Devastation into the corner and unleashes with closed fist punches and knife edge chops.
Devastation lifts a hard knee to the gut of Knight and responds with some chops of his own that send the fans into peals of “WOOOOOO”.
Devastation goes for a hip toss, but Knight lifts him off his feet with a chokehold.
Calvin Broadus counts to 4 and Knight slings the Super Hardcore champ across the ring.
JS: What power.
BH: Ha, his Reiki Specialist will have his work cut out for him.
JS: Do you even know what a Reiki Specialist does?
BH: Of course I do, he’s the guy who never loses numbers for you, kind of like in that Steely Dan song. You know “Riki don’t lose that number…”
JS: Please spare our ears Brain. No, a Reiki Specialist is does Japanese stone healing.
BH: Are you serious? What a crock. He’ll need healing after this match.
Knight lifts Devastation over his shoulder and rams his head into the steel mesh.
Knight covers, but Devastation kicks out at 2. Knight slams Devastation before hitting the ropes and going for an elbow drop.
Devastation rolls away and Knight holds his elbow in pain.
Devastation gives the challenger a falling armbar that has Knight grimacing in pain as he holds his elbow.
Dev applies an elbow lock submission and applies the pressure as Knight refuses to give in.
Dev applies an arm wringer before hitting Knight in the mouth with a surprising crescent kick.
Dev makes the cover, but Knight kicks out at 2. Dev goes for a snap suplex, but Knight blocks it and crotches his opponent across the ropes before hitting big boot that sends the Super Hardcore champ crashing into the steel head first.
Devastation is now bleeding from the forehead as Knight bellows in victory.
He exits the ring and charges at Devastation.
The champ responds with a drop toe hold that sends Knight himself face first into the steel mesh.
Dev kicks him in the gut before dropping him with a DDT to buy time.
Devastation unleashes with some vicious right hands before making his way to the door.
Knight sees this and explodes with a spear to the back of Devastation that sends him crashing into the ring post.
JS: What an explosive move.
BH: Not as easy as it seems to exit that steel prison.
Knight takes some time to wipe the blood from his face and regain his senses as Dev struggles to his feet.
Knight rolls Devastation back into the ring and slides in after him.
He covers, but Dev easily kicks out at 2.
Knight lifts Devastation up in a military press to showcase his strength.
He readies to drop him over the top rope, but Dev slips out of his grasp and explodes with a hard lariat that sends the big man stumbling into the corner.
Dev charges, but Knight catches him with a back elbow.
Knight gives him a hard kick to the gut before setting him up for a massive powerbomb.
BH: It’s over.
Devastation pounds away on Knight’s head as he reaches the pinnacle and shows off some agility for a man his size by tumbling behind Knight and catching him in a roll up.
Knight powers out at 2 and gets to his feet. Devastation jabs a thumb into his eye before hitting him with Total Annihilation.
JS: What power, Devastation just slammed the mammoth 350 pounder on his head.
BH: I can’t believe that.
Devastation slides out of the ring and bursts out of the door to retain his Super Hardcore Championship. As he catches his breath, someone rushes from the crowd and nabs the Super Hardcore Title from the time keepers table.
JS: What in the?
