WTF?!
Mood:  quizzical
Now Playing: Launchcast
I was trying to come on here yesterday, and my whole *bleeping* blog was GONE!! WTF?! I was crushed. I don't even remember what I was coming on here for. Then I tried to come on here earlier today, and it was 1/4 here. I was just so blown though.

I got my jersey today!!! I'm so happy!! It's so beautiful! It's weird that I got it one day before the big game against the Patriots. Hmmm... This better not be a bad omen. I'm going to be so so sick tomorrow. I have no idea how I'll function during this game.

There is a "mistake" I must rectify from my last entry. It seems Marcus does not like the Patriots just because I dislike them. He likes them because they won the Super Bowl (I think it's two words) last year. But on Thursday, he was talking about that he loved them and blah, blah, blah, and I'm a bandwagon fan. Pot calling. Is kettle there? Please, he probably can't name the stadium the Patriots play in. He probably can't even name a player on the Patriots besides Tom "Marcia" Brady and Corey "Bill Brasky" Dillon. And for some reason, that I cannot get out of him, he dislikes Jerome Bettis. Especially since he has the nickname "The Bus". Okay. He keeps calling him "The Van" And he won't admit it, but if Jerome Bettis was on the Redskins, and logged like 7 100+ yard games, he would be so on his nuts, it would't even be funny.

(Launchcast music break: Jay-Z Song Cry. I may really dislike rap/hip hop music, but I do love this song.) There really wasn't too much Steeler or football news, I guess this is the calm before the storm. Well, except the fact that everyone is picking the Patriots over the Steelers. But I remember Ben saying that he loves being the underdog. Whatever floats your boat, but I don't think my heart can handle a game like last week's. I don't need (though it would be great) a blow out, but a comfortable lead would be good for me. I also found this awesome Steelers logo this person made, it was hot:

Well, I gotta go, I realized that I was supposed to repaint my nails today. I got up so early to go emergency grocery shopping, I fell asleep during the middle of the day. I do have a sort of cute picture of Ben:

I just realized that if they lose, my photos of Ben will probably diminish for a while.

WAR PITTSBURGH STEELERS!! THE PATRIOTS ARE TOSSERS!!

Oh yeah, this is my 100TH ENTRY!! My gift? A Ben-Ben jersey! YAY!!

I'm phasing.

The Tension Is Mounting
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: DC101
This Sunday is it. It's the big shows. These two games could almost overshadow the Superbowl. Falcons @ Eagles should be really good. It'll be really hard for me to sit through though. Patriots @ Steelers is it. Can Ben win the BIG one, and become the first rookie QB in history to lead his team to the Superbowl? I have absolutely no idea. It could go either way, but I'm not trying to do anything that could jinx it. Ever since last Saturday's game, I've become very superstitious. I will say one thing, even if the Steelers lose, I am so proud of Ben. He accomplished the unthinkable this year, and has now become the standard that all future rookie quarterbacks will be held to. Go Ben-Ben! Also, if the Steelers lose, I'm not taking any phone calls, except for Lisa's. I should take that back, let Jason and Marcus bring it! The Dolphins? 4-12! The Redskins? 6-10! And the worst part is that Marcus is so wrong for liking, no LOVING the Patriots just because I can't stand them! Did I do this to him? NO! Did I rub the TWO Cowboys' victories over the Redskins in his face? NO! But you know, some people are just like that.

I did get some good news yesterday. MY JERSEY GOT SHIPPED!! I'm so happy! It was so unexpected. The first email said the 28th, but they shipped it 9 days early. But, I'm hoping this is not a bad omen. What if my shirt gets here like tomorrow or Saturday, I wear it during the game, and they lose. That would suck so bad.

It's funny, I never thought I would like football, especially since I used to resent it so much, but reading my past entries, it's like 98% football, 2% anything else. I include Ben in football. They kind of go hand in hand. I've also noticed my online habits have changed dramatically. I practically live on the Yahoo NFL page, NFL.com, ESPN.com, Foxsports on MSN, and the message board on Steelers.com. I have no idea what I'm going to do with myself once football season is over. Hopefully the Harry Potter Hype will start to really pick up steam since the sixth book is coming out in June and fourth movie is coming out in November. Even though by the time the movie comes out, it'll be football season all over again!

I guess that'll be it for me. I have no idea if I'll be back on Saturday/Sunday before the Conference championship games or after the games. I'm also having a dilemma about two more Ben photos. I got one of him warming up before a game, looking very in the zone (he has gloves on which was a fuss last week) and the other one is of him sitting on a cooler at practice LHAO. Hmmmm, I think I'll go with...

It's neither, but it shows him being very confident and that he just did something good. Why do I fancy him so?

Peace and Steelers Grease!

I'm phasing.

That Was A Close One...
Mood:  lucky
Now Playing: MASH!!!!
That game was TOO close for comfort. The Steelers got the win, but man. I was on edge. But the breaks came when the Jets kicker missed the field goal. TWICE!! But our kicker didn't! WAR JEFF REED!! Of course, since Ben was probably nervous as hell, all the commentators, sports analysts, etc. were saying that he was playing like a rookie. But it doesn't matter, the Steelers are going to the AFC Championship game. But that makes me even more nervous. Either the Colts or the Patriots are going to be a tough ass opponent. But Ben makes the second time a rookie QB has won a playoff game.

In case you're wondering, that thing for my grandmother is tomorrow. Even though when my father asked, he did say SATURDAY!! I don't know who he was trying to fool.

Man, I am Steeler Pride personified! My nails are yellow. Even though I wish it was a deeper shade, that's okay. Tomorrow I'm even wearing a yellow blouse to represent. I've even considered wearing my class ring, and liking it. My dad bought it, and usually gets pissy when I don't. But one (there are many) of the reasons that I didn't like the ring was because the school colors are wrong. My high school colors are maroon and gray. Yeah, I know, U-G-L-Y! And he put black and yellow. At first I was kind of upset, but then I tried to find some positives in it. Like yellow and black are Hufflepuff colors. But we all know that if my ring had to have Harry Potter colors, I would have preferred green and silver. But, last night or Thursday night, I kind of thought about it. Black and yellow are STEELERS COLORS!! THAT'S AWESOME!! *In creepy, obsessive fan voice* "IT WAS MEANT TO BE!!" But really, that is an odd coincidence.

Well, I gotta go to bed. My father is coming at 11:00. IN THE MORNING!! That is insane! But whatever! Of course, before I go, I have to post the other Ben picture that I love so much.

Sorry about that, but that's what he does to me. Man, is that hot. But it's also simple. Like, if I had been hanging around that hotel, and had a digital camera, I could have taken that photo! I taped this awesome show off of ESPN last night and he was on it, but I'll have to elaborate on it some other time. But it was awesome!

WAR PITTSBURGH STEELERS!!!

I'm phasing.

Ain't No Cure For The Thursday Blahs
Mood:  cool
Now Playing: AMC & OLTL
I'm trying to get hyped for this weekend's playoff games, but everybody's predictions are blowing me. Plus the fact that I'll miss most of Ben-Ben's game. You can really tell that I don't really care about Saturday, I have no idea what I'm going to wear. But with the crazy ass weather we're having around these parts, I'm not totally to blame. I just have no idea what I want to wear. I don't even know what kind of restaurant we're going to. And I don't want to dress too casual or too formal. Not that I really have anything too formal, that I can fit.

Man, for the past week I've been finding great pictures of Ben. OMG! There are a couple that are so hot! Especially the ones from the charity fashion show. You know I'll put it up. It drives me mad.

On Tuesday, I got an email that said my jersey wasn't going to be shipped until the 28th. I was upset at first, but then the next morning I was listening to "Diane's Dirt" on Elliot in the Morning, and they said that Ben's jerseys were back ordered with a 6-9 month wait. Wow! I wasn't upset anymore, I can tell you that! 2 1/2 weeks versus 6-9 months. That is crazy. That's the difference between getting it in time for the Super Bowl (hope they make it) and next bloody season. Diane also said another reason they're crazy back ordered, other than the fact that he was an unexpected sensation, was that on the first batch, his last name was spelled wrong. LOL.

They were lunchin' so hard on Elliot this morning! During "Dirt", they were talking about stuff from the upcoming Michael Jackson trial, and I was hurting, I was laughing so hard. I swear, my lungs were aching.

On Tuesday, I was talking to Lisa on the phone, while we were watching The Real World, and she told me that she broke up with her Internet "boyfriend". I didn't want to poke fun, but I was laughing internally. I don't know if you really can call any relationships on the net a boyfriend or girlfriend. But, I've sort of been there. Thought I never called him a boyfriend. I may live in the fantasy world most of the hours of the day, but one of my top qualities in a boyfriend is tangibility. He needs to be there, or here, with me. And I'm not talking about a man in the military. I mean, if you want to call someone a boyfriend or girlfriend, you need to have liked hugged or kissed them at some point during the "relationship". Maybe it's just me and my high standards, after all, I'm not really going to get Ben Roethlisberger in this lifetime! I wish, though.

Lisa also talked about wanting to go out and making new friends and stuff. And I am all for that. I need some new acquaintances. I'm really going to have to get out this year. Plus, I think it would be great if, Jason and them called, I could be busy going out with more reliable friends that I actually would enjoy being with.

I also need some friends around my age, with the same interests, because there is so much stuff to do, and everyone else is either too young, or doesn't like what I'm into, etc. I'm really pressed about it because I'm going to be 21 this year. I'll want to go to Shantytown, and next year's Big Ass Football Bash and Easter Keg Hunt. You have to be 21 to do all of that. But I don't know anyone that listens to Elliot in the Morning like I do. Like I said, I hope 2005 brings some major changes in my life. Mostly for the good.

Well, I'm gonna go. There's some stuff I need to do. But, before I go, I'll post a good picture of Ben. I had a hard time trying to decide between two of them. One was a good close-up of him backstage at the fashion show, and the other was him on the runway, looking sexy as ever. I'll just have to post the other one next time I make another entry.

Man, he's so sexy right there. But he does, kinda, sorta, when you tilt your head and squint your eyes, remind you of Kevin Fedderline or a member of a boy band. The sad part was that I was just thinking it yesterday, and my mother said it. But Ben has nothing to worry about, he's WAY HOTTER and has WAY MORE TALENT then any of those guys put together, in his pinky.

I'm phasing.

Playoff Fever
Mood:  on fire
Now Playing: Launchcast
Wow, you know it must be something big to get me off the net for almost two whole days. The Playoffs were nuts. I went 3-1 on my guesses. What an upset that was for the Vikings to win. It's so weird, all except one of the teams that had home-field advantage lost this weekend. I hope this means nothing for next week, unless the Steelers are that one home team, then I don't care. And I can only say one thing about that Jets/Chargers game. Everybody from the pope on down now knows who Eric Barton is. It's funny, Jay and I used to have to remind everyone he's still there, now... not so much. I still thank the many dieties the Jets won, because if they didn't, Eric would have gone down in NFL infamy. And nobody really wants to be there. But, of course, I can't root for the Jets next Saturday, they play the Steelers. I kind of have good news on that game though. I looked at the TV Guide, and it said that it doesn't start until 4:30. Which means that I might see the end of it.

We've also discovered where the missing money went in my account. It seems that the bank, which was not authorized to do so, transferred the money into my mother's account. I probably won't get the money until she gets her tax return, but I am glad that nobody got my info off the net like all those commercials warn about.

Why do I get this stupid, nauseating feeling when I see Ben-Ben, or they just mention him? I have no idea, but it's irritating and delightful all at the same time. Man, I know off-season is coming, but from what I heard, he'll soon be everywhere. I knew it was coming, my favorite word when it comes to Ben: endorsements. My boo cleaned up this year! And he got like a huge bonus, plus he met most of the criteria in his contract. They were talking about this, I think yesterday on ABC, and they said that most of the time, when a pro-team signs a rookie quarterback, they lace the contracts with all these bonuses and stuff, but since most of the rookies don't get that much play, they don't get the extra money since the standards never get fulfilled.

(Launchcast music break: Bon Jovi Bad Medicine) Well, I gotta jet, Desperate Housewives comes on in about 10 minutes. Sorry I don't have a pic of Ben-Ben I wanna put up, maybe next time.

Peace and Playoffs grease!

I'm phasing.

Old Habits Are Hard To Break
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: None
Well, I'm back being unemployed. I have to update my resume and get it to the bank soon. That stupid, ungrateful woman. And it's so sad, the daycare is going to hell very quickly.

My Ben obsession is getting very bad. The sad thing is that it's a bit reluctant. But I can't help it, I'm crazy about him. This week, he was awarded the Associated Press' Offensive Rookie of the Year! As if there would be any doubt who it should be. I've got my fingers crossed that he'll be the NFL's Rookie of the Year as well, but there were a few others that had very good seasons. Julius Jones of the Dallas Cowboys comes to mind. But it's really funny, I was reading all of these articles that were written around the time he was drafted, and everyone thought that Eli Manning would be the breakout superstar.

I found the whole playoff schedule on the NFL's official website, but I won't post the second week's games because it's too confusing. Well, to me it was. I just remembered, on Monday, my dad called and told me that they were having a dinner for his mother because her birthday was the 2nd, and it was the third Saturday of January, which is the 15th. Now, I didn't think much of this at the time, but like the next day, when I found the rest of the playoff information, I found out that that's the first game of the playoffs that the Steelers will be in. It's the early game, too. It starts at 4:30, so there's a chance I could see the end of it, but still. I didn't even occur to me. God, I hope they win. My Ben-Ben's (once again, I apologize for the name, but I call him that all day) jersey won't even be in stock until the 15th, that Monday is MLK Jr. Day, and I don't know if UPS or whatever run that day, so, I'm thinking my jersey won't be here until like the 19th. I wanna wear it once while they play. It would suck a fat one if they win their first round, I get the jersey, wear it during their next game, then they lose that game. That would be so wrong. But like I said, as long as the Patriots don't go, I'll be okay. Especially since Joe Theisman picked them. Ugh! He was on Elliot in the Morning today, and his Superbowl picks were the Patriots and the Falcons. That match-up doesn't even sound interesting to me.

Well, that's it for me. I gotta go cook dinner. I'm making spaghetti(sp?)! It should be good, that garlic bread has been staring me in the face for weeks now.

But before I go, once again, I have to post some random picture of Ben. This one comes from last week's game between the Steelers and the Bills. The one Ben didn't even play in.

He's finally wearing his hat the right way, I see. It's still kinda cute.

I'm phasing.

It's 2005!!! (I'm a day late, so what?)
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Launchcast
I'm not sure how I feel. On one hand, I'm really happy that the Steelers finished off the regular season 15-1, are the AFC North division champs, and have clinched home field advantage and a first week bye for the playoffs. But, on the other hand, the Jags got knockout out of the picture when the Broncos defeated the Colts. And what really pisses me off it that the Colts acted like they did not come to play.(Opening Launchcast music break: Elton John Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word. I love this song, it's so beautiful and sad.)

Well, it looks like I'm going back to that crap-ass job on Tuesday. I have one more day of holiday, then I have to be with those crazy, off the wall kids. I'm hoping their spirits will have diminished since Crimbo has passed. I was talking to Marcus, and I told him how bad they were. Then he said that he understood, because he found it annoying when, as a student, you had to be quiet all day in school, then again at a daycare. I understand too, but I told him that I now see it from the teacher's P.O.V. I hate when they make noise, and it's the fact that they can't whisper or anything. They're so noisy. But the reason I'm going: I like money! There is still so much crap I want to buy. Like I found a place where you can get that cute hat Ben wears, but they're all sold out.

The place that I found with the hat is Ben's official website and blog. I'm a bit upset that it's taken me this long to find it. (Launchcast music break: No Doubt Bathwater. It's the perfect song about the guy that I don't talk about. He knows who he is. Just like all my friends.) Today, I've been questioning myself about why do I like Ben. I have no earthly idea. He's so cute, and I don't know. Whenever I see him, I get that stupid, can't-form-a-sentence feeling. I hate the feeling, but it's okay just because he gave it to me. I don't know, it doesn't make sense to me either. (Launchcast music break: Poison Something to Believe In) But, whatever, I'm just in love with Big Ben.

(Launchcast music break: AC/DC Back In Black) Ummm, I guess I could talk about New Year's Resolutions or whatever. I never really make one, because I know I'll break them. I stay away from the "I'll lose weight" one like the plague. If I do, I do. If I don't, then it's just another regular year. It might just be to keep up my "one soda a day" thing. That has been working out good for me. (Launchcast music break: No Authority Can I Get Your Number?. It's a HUGE guilty pleasure for me. Because in reality, this song is HORRIBLE!)

I don't have the whole playoff picture, but the teams that I really want to go to the Super Bowl are the Eagles for the NFC and the Steelers (duh!), the Colts, or the Jets for the AFC. Some people think that the Patriots vs. the Eagles would be great, but New England sucks. Man, if they make it to the Super Bowl, I will be so, ugh! !No me gusta!

I don't know of all of the games for the playoff schedule, yet, but I got some. So far, it's Saturday, January 8: (No.5) Rams at (No.4) Seahawks, and Sunday, January 9: (No.6) Vikings at (No.3) Packers for the NFC. And for the AFC, it's Saturday, January 8: (No.5) Jets at (No.4) Chargers, and Sunday, January 9: (No.6) Broncos at (No.3) Colts. It should be good. I know that the Steelers, Eagles, Falcons, and Patriots got first week byes, so that's why they won't be playing next week. But that's good for Ben and Jerome Bettis, they can rest their injuries for an extra week. But I'm not sure how those four teams get factored in the second week. We'll just have to wait and see.

That'll do it for me, let's all hope the year 2005 is better than last year. Going back in the archives, 2004 didn't start out too well for me.

Oh, I forgot, I wanted to post some totally random, but cute pic of Ben, so here goes.

All I can say is, "Michael Jordan, who?" My mum was hating on that.

WAR PITTSBURGH STEELERS!!!

I'm phasing.

Home Sweet Home
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: One Life To Live
Actually, my mood is:

I'm so bloody tired. Even though I didn't have to get up as early as I did last Thursday, I'm still really sleepy.

Well, my mum is home, safe and sound. And the relaxed mood of the house left with her arrival. I'm sorry, but it's true, she makes the household very tense. Like, we were trying to make breakfast, I was doing waffles and other stuff, and she wanted me to look at pictures, and write down phone numbers. I missed her, but I can't lie and say I would have been too upset if she had stayed an extra few days.

But, enough about that. I want to go on about something I love: Ben-Ben! He's going to be okay. He might not start next Sunday's game against the Bills, but he's going to be just fine. They want him to rest up for the playoffs. Still, this is the selfish bit of me, I wouldn't mind him starting the first Steeler play of the game, just so he could keep his little streak going. But, if they lose, because he didn't start, then he'll still be undefeated. No rookie quarterback has ever gone 13-0. Except him. I have a new favorite picture of him now:

I love that photo. It's something about that hat. And the worst bit is that it's not even available on NFL Shop! I think it's reversable. !Me gusta!

Well, I know who I'll be rooting for in the playoffs. But it's NFC all the way during the Pro-Bowl. The quarterbacks are Donovan McNabb, Michael Vick, and Dante Culpepper. The AFC's are Tom Brady (!No me gusta!), Peyton Manning, and Drew Brees (Chargers). Yet, no Ben-Ben. I heard that he might be a stand-in if none of the other three show up, but whatever. So that just gives me more incentive to root against the AFC. I'm kind of upset the football season is over. It was a great season, and hopefully next year's will be better. The AFC was where all the competition was at! The NFC? Not so much. Well, there's one more game for every team on Sunday, some playoff dreams will come true, others crushed. But that should make the ones who came this close, to try harder next year *coughJaguarscough*. WAR PITTSBURGH STEELERS!!!

I'm phasing.

Let's Try This Again
Mood:  d'oh
I've tried to put this up for the past two days, but on Saturday, the computer started to act funny, and yesterday, I saw a mouse and hauled ass.

Let me start with Saturday, which was Crimbo (UK slang for "Christmas"). It was marvy! I had to unwrap the unknown present last, but it was so awesome! It was a portable DVD player. How cool is that? Then we went over Aunt Pat and Uncle Andy's. It was cool at first, but when it was just a bunch of people over there, I was ready to go.

Sunday was okay. The Steelers won (14-1)! But Ben got hurt. They think it's his ribs. Jacksonville got their asses handed to them. By the Houston Texans. AGAIN!! I can't believe after beating Green Bay, on theire home turf, in below freezing weather, they let the Texans beat them. And the score was 21-0! That is terrible! I think their playoff dreams have just been dashed, unless stuff happens next week, but I'm not sure if enough teams can lose for them to get a wild card spot.

Today was alright. I woke up at noon. Then we went shopping on our very tight budget. Mum should have told us that all of our shopping had to be done before she left. I got a letter from the bank saying that I had overdrawn over $1000 from my account, then since I put in a deposit, it was only like $800 something. Then, when I called, they said I was overdrawn only $30 something. Well, that's better than $1000, but I don't like to be overdrawn at all. But that doesn't sound right to me. I should have at least like $50 in the bank. Unless the power of plastic has overcome me. But it still doesn't sound right to me. I hope my next check comes soon, there's a rumor that there will be a Crimbo bonus. I bloody well hope so, There's a "Big Ben" long sleeve shirt that I really want. As you can see, it's becoming a sickness.

I'm not sure exactly when it happened, but if you didn't notice, I now fancy Mr. Roethlisberger a bit. I can't help it. But don't think I'm completely over Michael Easton yet. He's still one of the hottest things to walk this earth, to me. But as of late, I don't get the fire-hot hot flashes every time he walks on the screen, plus, the show is splitting his character and Evangeline up. It's so wrong!!! That stupid red-head, she doesn't even deserve him. I know, I've been bitching about it for months, but I'm sure that by mid-January, John and Evie will be done, Natalie and Cris will be over, and Natalie will run straight to my favorite cop's arms. Ugh. It's disgusting. But that's okay, because I still have my Ben-Ben. I know, it's a sickening nickname, but it works with that stupid-ass Go DJ song. Go Ben-Ben, that's my Ben-Ben! .

What is it about him that is so damn lovable?

Well, that be it from me, hopefully my money thing will be sorted out soon, and I'll feel a little better.

I'm phasing.

And The Bottom Falls Out
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: Launchcast
(Opening Launchcast music break: Eminem Superman) It's so funny how one day, you're so happy, then the next everything falls apart and you're ready to snap. I guess that's what life is. Life is what comes along when you're making other plans. I know I shouldn't feel like this, but I can't wait for my mother to leave tomorrow. She hurt her shoulder and that sucks, but she's driving me up the wall. It'll be great for her to get away, and see her little grandbaby for a week. (Launchcast music break: Bon Jovi Bad Medicine. Yes Jon, it is what I need.)

I missed work yesterday, but I had to go today. UGH!! Those kids made me earn my $7.50/hr. They were so goddamn bad today. And it's so weird, the worst ones are ALWAYS the ones to ask for shit! They wanna go outside, they wanna get on the computer, they wanna play with their Gameboys they shouldn't even have. Then, at the end of the day, they ask for a treat, and when I say no, they wonder how they didn't get it. BECAUSE Y'ALL DON'T FUCKING LISTEN!!!! You'd think they were retarded or something. I understand that I can't curse them out, but why can't I hit them. The parents that would complain about corporal punishment are probably the same parents with the worst goddamn children. And man, I thought the oldest one, George, was cool, but he's been buggin' all week, and I've only worked 2 goddamn days this week! On Monday he complained that they couldn't go outside because it was too cold, and drove me to the brink of my sanity, then today they went outside, and he complained they were bored. I've realized, it's just him, they're okay, but it's just him. I'm so glad today was my last day. When my mother is gone, I'm gonna try for that job at a bank, because I do like having constant money. (Launchcast music break: Poison Something to Believe In. God, I love this song, it came at a good time too.)

Some good things did happen today, I opened some of my presents, I gave my parents theirs. My mother loved her watch, even though now, I question my actions. I'm gonna save the rest of my presents for Saturday. Even though I already know what they all are, except for one. The ones I opened today were a pair of shoes that were too big, some Homer Simpson house slippers (they're so awesome, his mouth is where you slip your feet in, so it looks he's eating them), and my package from Hot Topic. My Harry Potter bag is so awesome!! I always where the Slytherin side out. And my Grumpy Bear blanket is so cute! Tonight will be the first night I sleep with it. Man, I can't wait for my Ben Roethlisberger jersey to come. It's gonna be a long January. I think my favorite gifts to open will be the Mary Poppins DVD and the Velvet Revolver CD. I think I should have opened those today.

Well, I'm sleepy, and I have to take a shower because we're leaving at like 3:00 AM. I need to get at least like 4 1/2 hours of sleep.

I'm phasing.