Mood:  don't ask

 WTF happened to never going back?! The rest of my summer has been fucking ruined, all thanks to her (you know who). I fucked myself over so badly a few years back, and that I have no one but me to blame. FUCK!!! I will say now that for my birthday next month, I don't want a cake or anything, but just for people to leave me the fuck alone. I'm that pissed off about it. I will however accept monetary gifts and/or tickets to the Steelers @ Redskins game in November. Otherwise, I'd be fine if nobody spoke to me that day; tranquility is a blessing.

FUCK YOU, AUGUST 25!!! Even though my birthday is the next day, I wouldn't be sad if that day never came. JESUS CHRIST GODDAMMIT!!!

Another thing that is annoying the hell out of me is the whole "television is going to be all digital in 2009" thing. We have digital cable (fucking ripoff, they took out half the movie channels and jacked up the prices, FUCK YOU, COMCAST!!!), but one of our TVs is basic cable and is plugged into the wall with no box at all, so we have to get the converter box for it. I checked out the prices and they're running for about $60, depending on what you get, and the coupon is for $40. I say we chuck cable altogether and go back to DirecTV, that way I'd have NFL Network again, only thing is we'd have to change ISP, but that could be a blessing in disguise. The thing that's bothering me the most about this is that NOBODY is fighting it. When television became colorized, black and white sets didn't stop working, you just couldn't see the color, but you could still watch television.

If one of the presidential candidates grew a pair and said this is so fucked up, I might actually register and vote. She thinks that the gas is a more important issue (which it is getting out of hand, but since I don't drive yet, fuck that). What is really pissing me off is that if the government can come in and fuck up your television viewing so you HAVE to spend money, on top of what you paid for the actual television itself, then the government can come in and do ANYTHING. I don't feel like making her understand why it upsets me so, but if they can do this to television, they can try to interfere with radio, they're trying with this HD Radio crap they keep advertising, but they would have a harder time with that. Maybe that is what they should do in order to get people to wake up. Tell the public that they have to buy converters for their home and car radios if they want to hear anything. If you can't get traffic and you run into some serious back up, when you could have taken a detour if you had only known where it was, you would be livid. That's the reason why I think they might not try it with radio... just yet, anyway.

This is all the FCC's fault; it wasn't enough for them to tell Americans that, even though you have FREE SPEECH, you can't use it on radio and television. Now they want to make you pay more for something you ALREADY OWN, so you can get more channels that you still can't practice free speech on. Damn, George, you left us too soon to set these motherfuckers straight, because it's getting worse. FUCK YOU, FCC!

Smoke is leaving Joe Gibbs Racing! He's going to become an owner/driver of what was Haas/CNC Racing (I think those were the right initials). Now, it's going to be Stewart/Haas Racing. Next season is going to be so weird, no more Big Orange No. 20 barreling down the track. I know his new sponsor is going to be Office Depot (still has the Depot part), but I don't know what his number will be. And of course he's going back to Chevy, because he hates Toyota. I wonder if he was having the year Kyle Busch is (SIX WINS SO FAR), would he reconsider and ride out his contract, which would have expired after next season. Damn, I can't use my flag anymore after this year, he better win the next 10 races, just so I can get use out of it.

Really, football season needs to hurry the hell up, because there are some dark clouds on the horizon. My new mantra: training camp is coming, training camp is coming, training camp is coming, etc.

Correction from previous entry: Eddie's time in the beginning of Ocean's Thirteen is more like 20 minutes. What the hell was with those sandals? Very disappointed, Eddie. But I still l*** him. Like I said, training camp is coming, and if the past has taught us anything that you can't bet against Ben.

I also tried to do the Popsicle thing again, twice, to no avail. The second time I had mostly finished it by the time he came into the movie and the third time I was angry and kept getting disturbed, so it just didn't work. Plus, I was trying to hard and all I got was a sore tongue. The first time it was unintentional, spur-of-the-moment, and really, uh, interesting.

Oh yeah, Tony Reali got married last week (June 28- July 6). I don't know the exact date, but I find it strange that lots of guys get married around their birthdays; Tony's is July 4. I'm of two minds about that, most of me agrees that it's so the guy doesn't forget, but a small part of me thinks it's so the wife can get a gift right around the same time. You know that selfish type out there exists.

Amazon.com is so addictive. Even though they don't have all of them, they still have lots of those hard to find songs. Damn them.

Swingtown is still awesome. Also, something that has been brought to my attention is that Jack Davenport has a cute little bum on him. You can't help but notice in those extremely tight pants.

I guess that's all the bitching I can do for today, but I feel good, it's nice to get it off your chest. With that, it's photo time:

I know, it's not a photo of his backside, but it's really cute.

I love his eyes! At this moment, I'm doing contrast and compare with this picture and one of his photos when he's dressed up, and I still don't believe it's the same person.

He is so lazy. You better be saving strength for training camp, because that is sad. LOL

You know the old saying: Men are like potato chips; never can have just one.
Damn, I must have been pissed off, because I started AND posted this on the same day.

I'm phasing.

Mood:  down

Okay, so, at school, there is to be a pizza party on Friday, June 7, and there are these 5 kids that got onto a list that meant they couldn't participate. Now, the local Papa John's runs a special where it's $6 a pizza if it's delivered to the school. Yesterday (Sunday, June 1), my mother says she wants to let the kids back into the party to cover the pizza and drinks. Now we have 12 kids with permission slip and payment (13 kids in all, but one of them has a terminal parent, and she's going through a rough time, even though she was being a bit much because she's in desperate need of attention, she's since been straightened out; it also doesn't help that she has like 3 or 4 siblings and some of the other ones have been acting out, but I digress) Today (June 2), she had the other students who weren't in trouble stand and take a Survivor type vote to let the other children back into the party. I think the point I'm trying to make is that my mother talks about how these children don't get disciplined at home and how when you threaten them with punishment, and you don't follow through with it, then the kids don't learn anything. That makes sense to me, but hypocrite say what? I know there's the cost to consider, but we're basically set. Still, ALL the kids have to pay and bring the permission slip that they can even eat the pizza (because EVERYBODY is allergic to something nowadays).

We charged the kids $3 each, and with 12 payments, that has us at $36. We bought the drinks, and 3 packs of Capri Sun cost us $7.50, which leaves us with $28.50, $28 will give us 4 pizzas, which is 32 slices. Now, the school is hard pressed that even if you have a class party where you feed the children, they still have to go to the cafeteria and eat, so most of the kids should only eat one slice (but there are greedy/wasteful ones). The earliest the pizzas can arrive is 1:00, because Papa John's doesn't open until 11:00. Last year I think all of her students (well, most, but enough where she didn't let them get back into it), and we took home like 2 whole pizzas. Like I said, all the kids have to get permission to eat and we'll only accept permission slips with money. I also have a theory that the 5 kids let back into the party will bring the slips and money back faster than some of the other kids who haven't paid. If I receive less than 3 tomorrow, I'll be stunned. God, I can't wait for this week to be over.

Today on Elliot in the Morning, they had this woman on named Stephanie Klein who wrote a book called Moose detailing about her years at fat camp. I might have to get this book. I didn't go or anything (I still live at home out of fear at however old I am, seriously I have trouble remembering some days, like I got sent away to any type of camp) but it sounds like I could probably relate to some of the stuff in it. She was also talking about how parents don't go out and play with their kids. Not do deliberately take them to exercise like jogging 10 miles, but just to get them out and active, and this really hit home. My mother tells all these stories about how when I was younger and doctors would ask about my activity and she would talk about how she (my mother) walked 7 miles a day, and when she would drag me along, I would slow her down. WTF? I'm shocked one of them didn't say something like, "How about you slow your pace for the 6 year old?" You have to build up to shit like that. 10 more days and she's gone. I hope I'll make it.

Tony Stewart has had some terrible luck lately. He got wrecked like 3 laps in at Dover yesterday. Elliot said that Tony said something like, "I take full responsibility for it; I should have known better than to drive that close to Elliot Sadler." After the wreck, my attention waned heavily to the Internet. I basically stayed on Lostpedia and listened to my new favorite song (Bow Wow Wow Aphrodisiac) on YouTube.

Lost's (bestshowever) season finale was AWESOME! Unfortunately, I can no longer be in denial that I'm watching a sci-fi show because they've totally introduced time-traveling into the show, I mean, Ben turns "The Frozen Donkey Wheel" in January 2005, then is instantly transported to Tunisia October 2005. Sure it's not thousands of years, but I can't deny it's science fiction. Benjamin Linus may be the coldest guy on television, and I love it. Not only did I love what he said to Juliet after he showed her Goodwin's body when he purposely sent him on the mission hoping he would die since he was jealous of their relationship (Because you're MINE; take a much time as you need). He may have topped that with ONE single, monosyllabic word- Locke: You just killed everyone on that freighter. Ben: So? It was so good. I was also so emotional when Desmond reunited with Penny. The Desmond-centric episode "The Constant" was the best of the season I think, and the fact that Penny ended up finally rescued him was great. One downer point was that it felt that Desmond might not be on the show anymore, but Ben is out for Penny's blood. Ben blames Penny's dad Charles Widmore for the death of Alex, and Ben's doing the whole "eye for an eye" thing. Charles said that Ben would never find Penny, so I'm thinking that she went into hiding with Desmond, because Jack warned Desmond to be careful since they know how dangerous Charles Widmore is (after all, he did send people to the island to kill everyone on it not named Benjamin Linus). So that leaves me to believe that Des and Pen are hidden somewhere. Still, that's one less hot guy, and that sucks, well two, because they (may have) killed Jin. There are some who believe Jin made it into the water and disappeared with the island, so we won't really know until next season. I wonder how I'll make it until 2009, but football season will carry me through, unfortunately I'm 2 solid months from any type of NFL action. "No football and Lost make me go something, something."

Other random Lost thoughts:

"We have to go BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!" Yes, yes we do.

**June 9, 2008**

The pizza party is over. The pizza was late, we ordered 10 pizzas, took home 6 and I don't want pizza for a long ass time; which kind of sucks because I would haven't minded to have some while they were gone. Oh well.

I have a new favorite movie, Hot Fuzz! That movie is AWESOME! It's hysterical, my favorite lines from it are: "This shit just got real!" and "You're off the fucking chain!" I'm sure there are more, but those are the two that I quote all the time for no reason whatsoever. I first saw it a few months ago when they were having a free Cinemax preview, only one channel, but they gave us all the OnDemand stuff, and I watched it there. Now it's on HBO and I've been watching it like mad; might as well, not like there's anything else on now. The only thing is that I wish I would have watched Shaun of the Dead, because there are a few reprises from that movie since it's made by the same people. I saw a couple minutes of it on Easter when it was on Comedy Central, but it's not the same.

**June 19, 2008**
Man, this is taking forever!

That was the fastest week, EVER!!! Seriously, everytime I looked up, it was always night time about to be the next day. I would have maybe tried to post, but on Monday, there was a bad storm and I was without cable AND Internet (the lightning or something was so bad, it fried the modem and they had to give me a new one). At first it wasn't that bad, I watched Eddie Izzard's Dressed to Kill some more (more on Eddie later), lots of Monty Python, but after two days, that started to wear thin, but it was really funny at first because I hadn't seen it in a while, then I finished up yesterday watching the AFC Championship game between the Steelers and the Broncos. So good. The cable came on sometime that day, but like I said the modem went *tbttht* and died, so no computer. Man, I loved being here by myself, I didn't do anything, but it's so peaceful and relaxing.

I don't feel like elaborating too much on their trip, mostly because I got daily updates and I just now got another recap. All I will say is that my brother's dickishness reared it's ugly head, and now he and my mother aren't speaking. Whatev.

Oh dear, we are in trouble, part deux. Okay, I know from past experience that I'm not over Ben, it's just that the off-season he's a bit scarce, and I don't ever mean for it to happen, but I usually start fancying somebody else. The surprising thing is that this is a repeat offender. I don't think I've mentioned fancying him before, and I don't feel like looking up, but I'm pretty sure. Any road, the new (temporary) object of my affection, back for the first time is Eddie Izzard!

I'm not sure what happened, well, like I would be bored and I would look up his stand-up clips on YouTube, and in one of his shows, Sexie, he is just that. He looks so goddamn good. He has on a red boustierre with a jacket over it, a short black leather mini skirt, fishnets, and knee-high boots with the really thin heels, OMG! On the other hand, he's quite cute when he's in like jeans and a shirt, or has he calls it "blokey mode" like he is in his new tour, Stripped. Of course, being attracted to a guy almost twice my age is nothing new, but Eddie brings something new to the table. It drives me crazy that I get so hot over him when he's dressed like a chick, and he looks SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO fucking hot; I think what makes me slightly angry is that he looks fantastic and much better than I ever would in his outfits. So jealous. Football season can't come soon enough.

I have a summer show I'm kind of feeling, Swingtown starring old temporary flame Jack Davenport! I'm all for these British actors to get American TV gigs; we've fucked their accents up enough, and it's payback! Swingtown is set in 1976, and I think the one thing I don't like is that the lady who plays Jack's wife is not hot enough for him. I don't know, she's quite plain. I mean, I know they were looking to make average '70s couple, but there's nothing wrong with the girl next door look. However she did look better in the second episode when she had the "Farrah-do"; really, she was just "blah."

Downloading songs from Amazon.com could TOTALLY be my undoing.

**June 21, 2008**
I just found out the closed the movie theatre at Springfield; that sucks, it had been there forever and it was never sold out when a big movie was opening. It would be crowded, but you could always get a good seat, and not have to buy you ticket 3 hours ahead of time. I say this because my mother wanted to go see some movie, she doesn't even know what she wants to look at, just go to the movies, even though there's no food in the house. Genius. Any road, after I told her that Springfield was closed, I suggested Hoffman, it's so nice, and I get, "I'm not familiar with it, I'm hurting and I don't want to do a lot of walking." Springfield is a fucking mall, so there would be walking. Hoffman is just a theatre with a Ruby Tuesday's in it. It's also like a mini, not really shopping center, but it has a couple of restaurants and a Cold Stone's (best ice cream ever). Whatev. In the end, we went grocery shopping and bought her two DVDs, Mad Money and Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins. God, she has such sub-par taste in movies.

**June 23, 2008**
I learned very early this morning that last night America lost a truly great icon, George Fucking Carlin died. Goddammit, I was so fucking blown when I heard about that. I fucking adored George Carlin. All the truly great ones are practically gone man. If anything I learned from him it was to question everything people told me, especially about politics and religion. I even had the same stance on (not) voting as he did, before I heard his views on it. Basically, if you vote you can't complain. People like to spin it the other way saying the opposite. To me, if you voted for "Dubya", you consciously made a decision for him to be your leader and you have no right to complain about the mess he's gotten us all into.

Then there is religion. I basically grew up in a Christian household, I went to a private, Christian school, so I had these beliefs forced upon me. Now, George was an atheist, I've never had the balls to go that far (the term for this kind of pussy is agnostic). I really want to believe there's a just, kind deity with a plan, but shit is just too fucked up. If there is a God, I feel a bit like the movie Dogma (which George Carlin was in), he/she was in human form, was kidnapped, but not killed (because then they would go straight to heaven), but incapacitated so nobody could find him/her (i.e. coma). When I heard George have a go at religion (it was in his 2001 HBO special, the bit on the Ten Commandments), I felt like something had been lifted up from over my eyes, it was just so true. Then I heard older stuff, and basically agreed with most of it. Unfortunately, for me, I can't openly share any of these feelings with anybody I know. However, I do have a blog that NOBODY sees! With that, I'll share some of my favorite quotes from George, mostly on religion:

• Religion convinced the world that there's an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do. And there's 10 things he doesn't want you to do or else you'll to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! ...And he needs money! He's all powerful, but he can't handle money!
• The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
• I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
• When it comes to BULLSHIT...BIG-TIME, MAJOR LEAGUE BULLSHIT... you have to stand in awe, IN AWE of the all time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion.
• I want you to know, when it comes to believing in god- I really tried. I really, really tried. I tried to believe that there is a god who created each one of us in his own image and likeness, loves us very much and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize...something is FUCKED UP. Something is WRONG here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is NOT good work. If this is the best god can do, I am NOT impressed. Results like these do not belong on the resume of a supreme being. This is the kind of sh*t you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently run universe, this guy would have been out on his all-powerful-ass a long time ago.

And the Ten Commandments bit:

"Here is my problem with the ten commandments- why exactly are there 10?

You simply do not need ten. The list of ten commandments was artificially and deliberately inflated to get it up to ten. Here's what happened:

About 5,000 years ago a bunch of religious and political hustlers got together to try to figure out how to control people and keep them in line. They knew people were basically stupid and would believe anything they were told, so they announced that God had given them some commandments, up on a mountain, when no one was around.

Well let me ask you this- when they were making this shit up, why did they pick 10? Why not 9 or 11? I'll tell you why- because 10 sound official. Ten sounds important! Ten is the basis for the decimal system, it's a decade, it's a psychologically satisfying number (the top ten, the ten most wanted, the ten best dressed). So having ten commandments was really a marketing decision! It is clearly a bullshit list. It's a political document artificially inflated to sell better. I will now show you how you can reduce the number of commandments and come up with a list that's a little more workable and logical. I am going to use the Roman Catholic version because those were the ones I was taught as a little boy.

Let's start with the first three:

I AM THE LORD THY GOD THOU SHALT NOT HAVE STRANGE GODS BEFORE ME

THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN VAIN

THOU SHALT KEEP HOLY THE SABBATH

Right off the bat the first three are pure bullshit. Sabbath day? Lord's name? strange gods? Spooky language! Designed to scare and control primitive people. In no way does superstitious nonsense like this apply to the lives of intelligent civilized humans in the 21st century. So now we're down to 7. Next:

HONOR THY FATHER AND MOTHER

Obedience, respect for authority. Just another name for controlling people. The truth is that obedience and respect shouldn't be automatic. They should be earned and based on the parent's performance. Some parents deserve respect, but most of them don't, period. You're down to six.

Now in the interest of logic, something religion is very uncomfortable with, we're going to jump around the list a little bit.

THOU SHALT NOT STEAL

THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS

Stealing and lying. Well actually, these two both prohibit the same kind of behavior- dishonesty. So you don't really need two you combine them and call the commandment "thou shalt not be dishonest". And suddenly you're down to 5.

And as long as we're combining I have two others that belong together:

THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTRY

THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE

Once again, these two prohibit the same type of behavior. In this case it is marital infidelity. The difference is- coveting takes place in the mind. But I don't think you should outlaw fantasizing about someone else's wife because what is a guy gonna think about when he's waxing his carrot? But, marital infidelity is a good idea so we're gonna keep this one and call it "thou shalt not be unfaithful". And suddenly we're down to four.

But when you think about it, honesty and infidelity are really part of the same overall value so, in truth, you could combine the two honesty commandments with the two fidelity commandments and give them simpler language, positive language instead of negative language and call the whole thing "thou shalt always be honest and faithful" and we're down to 3.

THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR"S GOODS

This one is just plain fuckin' stupid. Coveting your neighbor's goods is what keeps the economy going! Your neighbor gets a vibrator that plays "o come o ye faithful", and you want one too! Coveting creates jobs, so leave it alone. You throw out coveting and you're down to 2 now- the big honesty and fidelity commandment and the one we haven't talked about yet:

THOU SHALT NOT KILL

Murder. But when you think about it, religion has never really had a big problem with murder. More people have been killed in the name of god than for any other reason. All you have to do is look at Northern Ireland, Cashmire, the Inquisition, the Crusades, and the World Trade Center to see how seriously the religious folks take thou shalt not kill. The more devout they are, the more they see murder as being negotiable. It depends on who's doin the killin' and who's gettin' killed. So, with all of this in mind, I give you my revised list of the two commandments:

Thou shalt always be honest and faithful to the provider of thy nookie.

&

Thou shalt try real hard not to kill anyone, unless of course they pray to a different invisible man than you.

Two is all you need; Moses could have carried them down the hill in his fuckin' pocket. I wouldn't mind those folks in Alabama posting them on the courthouse wall, as long as they provided one additional commandment:

Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself."

May they blow up Mt. Rushmore, start over, and put George's face on it. Furfuckingseriously!

Joe Bless You, George!

I'm phasing.

Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits!

I started this May 4, and that's all I really have to say.
**********************************************************

I can't believe it, I had another dream trying to sex up my Snookie last night (5/4/08)! That makes 2 in the course of about 5 days. Now I will probably never dream of him again. This time he was in a hospital (knocks on wood, hope he doesn't EVER go in one again), and I guess I was a nurse (or just lying about it), because I was pushing him in a wheelchair (there didn't seem to be anything wrong with him), and I brought him to this room with a bed. As soon as I shut the door, Ben was on the bed and I straddled him. I also told him that if I didn't have him at that second, I was going to scream. I'm getting all hot and bothered just thinking about it.

After that, the dream changed to something weird. I was in a cafeteria and sat down with adults, like old people, I think they were politicians or something. One of them must have told some embarrassing joke, because I covered my eyes, then they were telling me to uncover them, but when I did, I was with two teenage girls. Apparently I'd gone back to school, it must have been private because we were wearing uniforms. I was telling them how I wish I had gone to boarding school, and one of them said, "No, not boarding school!" Then we were walking up a stairwell and I kept telling them that it doesn't matter what you learn in school, it's all about the people you know, the connections you can make. Just then, we passed some girl and her father, who was proud of her daughter, I think she was accepted to something, but I knew it wasn't for her grades. For some reason I knew she wasn't a good student. Then I told my two dream friends that I didn't trust whatever she'd gotten accepted to, but that she had to know someone and that was the most important thing. When we got to class, I couldn't find my books, they were in the desk of another student (one from my mother's first grade class, the clingy one I mentioned before), not much was made of it. Then the teacher started to talk about something, then she interrupted herself and started to talk about that horse they had to put down at the Kentucky Derby, and I said that it was my horse. It seems my dad had bought it for me and I was down, but not depressed about it, and that I had more horses at home. At this time in the dream I think I somewhat consciously realized that I was a fictional character I had invented years ago named Daphne. I never did finish the story, basically she starts out as a spoiled "daddy's girl" (something I never was), then I shifted that role to the younger sister and Daphne felt that her father had something against her. Like I said, I never finished it, but the fact that I believe I dreamed a bit of her is so crazy, especially since it's been a long time since I've given that any thought. I still wish that the beginning part of the dream had been longer: Me sexing up my Snookie!

Launchcast is being lame, again. Now that I've become a "Rating Master" (rated over 10,000 songs, artists, and albums; NBD, I've been on it since 2002, I'm surprised it took this long), it will only let me listen to it for barely one day a month. But I tried logging into my other Yahoo account, and it said the same thing. I don't know what that's all about. I guess it monitors usage through the ISP address and not user name. I should have known that seeing how anyone could get dozens of accounts.

The NFL off-season is the worst; I miss my Snookie, I miss football in general (NFL and NCAA) There's very little news, and anything you hear about will be blown out of proportion out of desperation. Except anything on those cheating ass losers that I've hated way before it came into fashion, any negative attention on them should be mentioned first on everybody's local news. Now it seems that they've been practicing players on Injured Reserve (which is a no-no). Unfortunately, our pussy ass bitch of a commissioner said even if the story can be confirmed (which it already has been, by an ex-player), he won't seek further punishment. I hate Roger Goodell, I really do. I may hate him more than NE quarterback and the hooded prick. Well, he might be 1c. Either he is the most incompetent person in sports or the Kraft family has photos of him with underage male prostitutes, because something is just not right. I understand that New England is the marquee team that you overexpose and it shocks you that the team that you chose to make the face of your sport cheated, but if I were running the NFL, that would make me bring the hammer down on them harder than if it was some lame-ass team like Detroit. You have to make an example out of them. I still think that if it was a team like Detroit or Arizona, Goodell would have banned the entire coaching staff from the game entirely, fined and put the owners/GM/other personnel on like 5 year probation.

At approximately 9:15 pm, May 28, 2008, I realized that it had been 10 years to the day since the passing of Phil Hartman. It was so weird. I was on Wikipedia earlier that day, and the featured article for that day was the retired Simpson's character Troy McClure. I didn't click on it until much later in the day, like around 8:something. Then I clicked on Phil's page, then I clicked on the Saturday Night Live page, and that's when it hit me. At first I was like, "the 10-year anniversary is coming up soon", but I couldn't remember if it was the day before or the day after, then I realized it was that day. I lost it, I started crying and everything. I still remember how I found out about it: My room was a mess, and I was banned from watching television until I cleaned it up. This didn't really bother me, because I had books everywhere, so I figured I was just going to read all summer. Plus, if I was really desperate, I would just call Michael (whose birthday was May 26, happy belated to him where ever the hell he is), and he would tell me some stuff that was going on. Any road, when the story broke, my mother burst into my room and she told me to go in her room and watch, because she had Entertainment Tonight on. In the middle of letting this terrible news set in, my mother says, "See, if you cleaned your room, you could have watched this in there." At the time, I felt this remark to be callous, and a bit cold. I was so angry with her that she said that. I know that I didn't know Phil Hartman, but I was 13 and had adored him since I was 8. I can't remember, and I can't really look it up right now, but I used to call him my old man, because I was always searching for that father figure, and I just got attached to him when I was younger. I was absolutely devastated, and that was the remark I got. I think at the time the only person I was angrier at than my mother was, of course, Phil's wife. Even though it took some years to stop being so angry was that I felt worse for their children than anything, and that really put it into perspective for me. It's bad enough their father died, but it was a result of their mother being a drug-addicted, paranoid, jealous psychopath, and she shot Phil and herself.

I can't wait for June 9 to get here, I'm even more excited for June 12. June 9 (which is a MONDAY, tch) is the last day of school! Hopefully I'll have the entire class cleaned up by then. I've taken down two walls full of the students' stuff and the numbers on the wall. I can't do anything today (Thursday, May 29, 2008) because we have to leave early (not that I'm complaining about that). Tomorrow, my mother has a bunch of meetings with some of the parents of the students who are "Below Grade Level", so maybe I can just be in the background doing that. I want to get the alphabet down, by then. On June 12 is when my parents go to Alabama. Can't wait. I just remembered I have to make an example card for one of the students tonight because her birthday is tomorrow (May 30), and she is insufferable! She's been talking about her birthday coming up forever it seems like. I know kids are excited about their birthdays, but I've been her for 2 months and have been through I think 4 other ones, and NONE of them have been as bad as her. Her problem is that she is the smartest one in the class, but she wasn't in my mother's class last year, and her teacher was an incompetent fool (he said that all his kids were smart when they had to split the classes last year, and most of them were below or barely on Grade Level), but since she really is smart and her parents actually do stuff and her parents and the teacher last year treated her like God's gift, so she still has a swelled head.

I really shouldn't even care about stuff like this, I should be having my own problems and this school stuff shouldn't be it. The huge silver lining is that I can put this on my resumé as volunteer work, which will cover the two years between Ashley Stewart and whatever the hell I do next. It's really true, I mean, for the past two years I've done all my mother's reports and stuff, made a bunch of crap for the children to color (usually it has something to do with what they're reading) and I've made up math sheets, had to go on field trips, did cupcakes, decorated the classroom, and I'm sure countless other things (I'd make a great stay-at-home mom, it's just the having kids thing that bothers me). I just have to remember to update my resumé. Administrative Assistant would be okay, but I would be perfectly fine with something like Mail Room Clerk (which doesn't sound too bad, unless you have to deal with a bunch of (stupid) people). I've screwed myself so bad by not getting the hell out of here when I should have, and with a recession coming up, oy vey.

OMG! Smoke was SO FLIPPING CLOSE!!! He was leading with less than three laps to go and he blew a tire! I was so pissed off!

Season finale of Lost(bestshowever) is on tonight. It goes 9-11, and I have the VCR set up, but I really want to watch it. I may stay up and just suffer tomorrow.

It's time for me to wrap this up, but I have to post a picture of my Snookie. I know this has been a long time coming, but this photo is the one from his Super Bowl commercial. He's singing the Piña Colada song (badly), and it's really cute. It's the screen-cap right before the janitor straight carries him.

That's right after the janitor said, "I loved that song." Then the janitor said, "Till you ruined it!" Then this happened...

Oh, my poor Snookie! Seriously, I don't know why he has so many things featuring him trying to sing when can't. I love him anyway. Oh, and since May 4, I don't think I've dreamt of him since, which really sucks.

I'm phasing.

Mood:  crushed out

It ain't photoshopped... 

¡Te quiero, Señor Ben, mi amor!

I'm phasing.

Mood:  party time!

You can see him walking towards the crowd (well, there's a player bent over doing warm-ups that he's approaching).  I was waving like mad at Ben because I'm an idiot over him. 

I'm phasing.

P.S. R.I.P. Myron, may the Terrible Towel wave forever in your honor.

P.P.S. Lost: Best. Show. EEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR! Forever and ever. Amen.

Mood:  cool

(Opening Launchcast music break: "Beauty and the Beast" Human Again) Oh, it felt so good for a while, too. Like I said last time, you have those New England "fans" blowing your buzz, but screw them, and they deserve EVERYTHING they're about to get hit with. That goes for the entire organization, because Congress might be getting involved soon.  I wonder if it is possible to like the NFL as a sport, but detest it as an organization. I'm sorry, but they'll fine a player $5K for wearing different SOCKS as the rest of their team, but if an organization cheats, it's perfectly fine. That's sofa king we todd did! (Launchcast music break: Backstreet Boys Back to Your Heart; this is probably their best song, well, it's my favorite of theirs, anyway)

(Launchcast music break: Count Basie You're Nobody Till Somebody Loves You) The Pro Bowl was all right, one last gasp of football before you get cut off completely until August. My Snookie was great! He went 5/9, 42 yards, 1 TD (to TJ Humpsallama! ; watching a celebration amongst a Steeler, a Brown, and a Bungle was WEIRD), with a quarterback rating of 104.8, and was the AFC's leading rusher with 18 yards . Although he was second string, he played the least due to a sore groin , because Derek Anderson played the entire second half, and sucked. The NFC won 42-30. All I have to say is that Adrian Peterson is a BEAST!!! Hopefully he doesn't get hit with a sophomore slump. (Launchcast music break: "The Music Man" Ya Got Trouble; this is the Broadway Cast Revival version, Craig Bierko sounds so similar to Robert Preston in certain parts, it's kind of strange, but he holds his own, because Robert Preston IS Harold Hill; Matthew Broderick, not so much)

(Launchcast music break: "And the World Goes 'Round" The Grass is Always Greener; LOVE this song, "You can have my husband." "I already had your husband." LOL!) Daytona; what can I say about the Daytona 500? Smoke was SO CLOSE! He was leading the last lap, when he got passed by Ryan Newman who was getting bump-drafted by Kurt Busch. So, Tony went low hoping that his new teammate Kyle (brother to the aforementioned Kurt) would give him a little help, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. So, once again, victory was snatched from the hands of Tony Stewart at the Great American Race, but he won the Nationwide (what used to be Busch) Series race the day before. On a positive note, the Toyotas ran very well, it was pleasantly surprising. I hope this foreshadows of things to come. (Launchcast music break: "A Chorus Line" What I Did For Love)

(Launchcast music break: Dream This Is Me; strangely enough, this is one song NOT on YouTube) Lost (bestshowever) is too freaking much! The episode focusing on Sayid was AWESOME! The twist at the end, didn't see it coming. Once again, my mouth was open at the end of it. I had guessed Jack's dad, Christian, would be at the vet's office. The only negative about the episode, just a slight, minuscule annoyance, was that in the flash-forward, Sayid had his hair blown out and feathered, instead of curly. I wasn't a fan of that, but still, he is so hot. This past episode that featured Kate's flash-forward was whatever. I can't believe how much Sawyer is still hot over her, but he called her out in the end, when she got upset because he was relieved she said she wasn't pregnant (I believe that was a test, and he failed, miserably); he said that she would be back in a week when she's angry with Jack about something. Kate then slapped Sawyer, only because she knew he was right. She doesn't deserve him or Jack. (Launchcast music break: "Fiddler on the Roof" If I Were a Rich Man) The ending wasn't bad, I was shocked, but I wasn't. Like I had a feeling that she took Aaron, but I didn't want it to be right. Of course, conspiracy theorists claim that it's Sawyer's baby and she just happened to name him Aaron. I sort of hope so, I hope Claire doesn't die. Unless Claire gives Aaron to Kate just to get him the hell off the island, but I seriously doubt she would do that. The way Jack was acting about visiting Kate and the baby, I wonder if he didn't want to see Aaron because it would remind that they left people on the island, or that he found out that Aaron is his nephew and can't face him because he reminds him of Claire, which kind of ties into the "left the rest on the island" thing, except Claire could be dead, which would suck. (Launchcast music break: Radiohead Creep)

(Launchcast music break: "Bells are Ringing" Just In Time) The writers' strike is over! I'm pleased, but not ecstatic, because once again, Lost is on the short end of the stick. When they bring Ugly Betty and Grey's Anatomy back in April, Lost will get bumped back to 10:00, but that's how they lost viewers because of the late showings. The thing is, I don't even know how to work it out; even if they moved Grey's Anatomy, Lost would then go up against CSI, and that's a heavy ratings magnet. Lost couldn't go back to Wednesday's at 9:00, because it would get slaughtered by the crap-fest known as American Idol. Still, I am excited for Ugly Betty to come back, I haven't really heard anything about the other shows on my schedule: Law & Order: SVU, Dirty Sexy Money, Big Shots, and Women's Murder Club. I don't have a good feeling about Big Shots, but I liked it. Well, I do know that the animated shows won't be back until like September because they take longer to produce, but they usually don't come back with new episodes until like November because of football (oh, I miss it so). (Launchcast music break: Harry Connick, Jr. For Once In My Life)

(Launchcast music break: "Oliver" I'd Do Anything) Monk and Psych are also done for the year, but the strike didn't really affect their shows this season. They always start in the summer, run for like 8 weeks, have a holiday special, then return in January. Both of those shows season finales were awesome, especially Psych's. The cliffhanger you could see from miles away, though. I just hope they cast the part well, but they usually do. The only problem I had with Monk's finale was that they didn't get Tim Curry to reprise the role of Dale the Whale. Of course, I learned that the role had been played Adam Arkin originally in an episode I have yet to see, but this third guy was bad. Well, not the acting, but the make-up, it was a different color than his face. Like his face was pale, but the prosthetic fat face make-up was kind of red. But I'm a bit of a fan of Tim Curry and would have loved to see him back on Monk. I also wouldn't mind Eddie Izzard to pop up on either show, but we'll see. I don't even know if they'll push The Riches' return up because the strike is over. I have heard that Minnie Driver is pregnant; I wonder if they'll write it in the show. (Launchcast music break: Motley Crue Home Sweet Home)

(Launchcast music break: Uncle Sam I Don't Ever Want To See You Again) By the by, I got two goldfish two weeks ago, one of them died last Sunday, but the living one's name is Snookie. The other one's name was Snoopy. I took pictures of them with my phone, so the quality isn't the best. I didn't do the naming alliteration on purpose. I just named the lighter one Snookie after, well, my Snookie. It took me ages to name Snoopy, I named it that because of the song Suppertime in "You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown", because Snoopy (fish) was always hanging out at the top of the bowl waiting to eat. But Snoopy did really weird things, like he lined the entire inside of the bowl with bubbles one night. When I woke up to feed them, the edge of the water was all one continuous circle of bubbles. Maybe he wasn't right in the head from the get go. I still think Snookie murdered Snoopy, or at least caused Snoopy to commit suicide. I'm sorry that I named a psycho fish after my boo. Snookie is crazy and neurotic. Once second, he'll be swimming along, serenely, the next, he's freaking out for no apparent reason. But he does seem to be happier to have the bowl all to himself. I say "him", I have no idea what gender either fish was, so I was looking to name them silly names, which I achieved. (Launchcast music break: Snow Patrol Chasing Cars; I still love this song)

(Launchcast music break: Matchbox Twenty If Your Gone) This is Snookie, and my fingers on the left of the photo. It was hard to get a picture of his neurotic ass, he doesn't keep still for a second.

(Launchcast music break: "Annie" Hard Knock Life) What did I say? Snoopy was always hanging out at the surface trying to eat, or making bubbles. Another way I could tell them apart was that Snoopy's top lip was black for some reason. RIP Snoopy.

(Launchcast music break: Doris Day Shakin' the Blues Away) That's them together, Snookie (left) and Snoopy. I know, it's sad I'm putting photos of my fish, but it also gave me a chance to actually use my camera phone. I was reading reviews of the phone, it said that the pictures weren't bad on the computer, because they look like crap on the screen of the phone.

Well, I've got to wind this up, but there was one thing I have to say...

(Launchcast music break: SWV You're the One for Me; SO appropriate- "So, what's my chance? I'm willing to do anything to get in your pants.") There is no emoticon for what I want to do to Ben Roethlisberger. Even if there was, it would be highly inappropriate.

I miss you, Snookie (not the fish)!!! Stay the hell out of trouble! Luv ya!

I'm phasing.

Mood:  celebratory

(Launchcast music break: Monty Python's Flying Circus Lumberjack Song) I was text-messaging with Marcus today and he was rooting for New England. I forgot that they were his "second favorite team", whatever you don't GET a second favorite team. You cheer for your most favorite team and whoever is playing your most hated team. There was also this one poster on Yahoo Answers who kept popping up in the "Where are the New England fans, NOW?" questions. She kept saying that the Giants were her second favorite team, so she wasn't as bummed because her favorite lost the Super Bowl. WTFE!!! I don't understand people like that. I know I haven't loved the Steelers for ages, but I couldn't see myself calling any other team my favorite. It's fine if you like players on other teams, that's going to happen (like Marcus really liked Daunte Culpepper, don't know if he still does). But don't call that team your second or third favorite. (Launchcast music break: Sheryl Crow A Change Would Do You Good) Like I said last time, I love Brett Favre, before I watched football I knew who Brett Favre was, he was probably one of the few NFL players I could recognize since the age of like 9 or something, but I would NEVER say the Packers were my second favorite team. Do I cheer for them when I watch their games (not against the Steelers)? Yes, because I like Brett Favre. I couldn't name more than one other player on that roster now if my life depended on it (Donald Driver, after that I got nothing). I think that screams of bandwagon, you know, in case my team sucks, it just so happens my second favorite team is really good, made the playoffs, and the Super Bowl. Plus, I think it's insulting to hardcore fans. Maybe that's what it takes for people to get into games where their team isn't playing, but I like football, so I don't have that problem. (Launchcast music break: "The Will Rogers Follies" Marry Me Now/I Got You {First Act Finale})

That's enough about the Super Bowl, now it's time to talk about something else I feel strongly about: LOST (BESTSHOWEVERRRRRRRRRRR) Oh, it's so good. I don't understand anything, but I still love it. What was up with the people on the freighter? Why were they of all people picked? I mean, it kind of had something to do with Oceanic flight 815, but not really, like the pilot who flew the "rescue" chopper was supposed to pilot the doomed flight, but other than that, the other three people just heard about it, and were kind of bummed, except for Dan who was torn up about it, but didn't know why. LOL! (Launchcast music break: Kelly Clarkson The Trouble With Love) There seems to be a debate on which faction would most people have gone with Jack or Locke. I'm not sure, I may have gone with Locke just because Sawyer went, but that's a terrible excuse because the just as hot (and helluva lot nicer) Sayid went with Jack. Desmond went with Jack and he's not that bad to look at either (look, I can't help it, there are some bang-ably, hot guys on this show). From the viewer's POV, I might have gone with Locke, except he had Ben with him. Then again, I'd probably want to get the hell off that island and tried to be rescued, so it may be Jack after all. Man, two episodes down, six more to go. They need to finish up this strike, because eight is not enough. (Launchcast music break: O.A.R. Love and Memories)

More random thoughts:

-- (Launchcast music break: "The Music Man [Original Broadway Cast]" Till There Was You; love this song, it's for you Snookie) I think The Riches comes back in June. I had heard March or something. Damn, that's a long ass time.

-- (Launchcast music break: Ginuwine Pony; uh, this one is for you as well, Snookie, LOL) I'm becoming obsessed with Eddie Izzard lately, it's so weird. All I know is that I must own all his stuff on DVD. The only thing is that I still watch Dress to Kill that I recorded from HBO, so that's low on the must have list. I'm thinking Glorious and Circle. But if I don't stop watching the Glorious clips on YouTube, it's not going to be as funny. I will give Eddie this, most of his material is highly quotable and makes for the best sigs. (Launchcast music break: "Beauty and the Beast" Be Our Guest; love and miss Jerry Orbach)

-- Ashley is pregnant again. I wrote her back thanking her for the update on "As Ashley's World Turns." She said it's not a bad thing because she's getting married (we'll see), then told me I need to get back on MySpace. Hell and no to the MySpace, I'm just too lazy for it. What I wanted to write back to her was, "Goddamn, can you keep your legs shut for a week?", but better judgement prevailed. (Launchcast music break: "A Chorus Line" I Can Do That)

-- Yay, the Pro Bowl is Sunday! Oh wait, I don't really care. But Ben will be there, so I might watch with a bit more interest than other years. I definitely want to watch the introductions, and since New England quarterback pulled out, Ben is second string instead of third, so I have to try come in the middle. DON'T GET HURT, BEN!!! (Launchcast music break: Shai If I Ever Fall In Love {Original Acappella Version})

-- Nine more days, baby, nine more days! Toyota, this year? (Launchcast music break: Fall Out Boy Thnks Fr Th Mmrs)

(Launchcast music break: Maroon 5 Sunday Morning) I'll be going now, but before I go, I want to wish a happy (belated-yesterday) birthday to my favorite action-executive transvestite, Eddie Izzard! I can't believe he's 46. Well, without make up, you can believe it:

But he looks "fantabulous" with:

I'm so jealous. I swear, if I didn't know that was the same person, I wouldn't guess in a million years. (Launchcast music break: Sinead O' Connor Nothing Compares 2 U)

And of course Ben, hopefully, with him being in Hawaii and all, there will be a photo with him shirtless, but luck can run its course:

I can't believe I forgot to talk about his Super Bowl commercial. Maybe next time, because I really have to get going. All I can say is that it was very special.

I'm phasing.

P.S. This is what I think of New England's "dynasty":

Okay, I'll let this go now... until next season when it starts all over again.