Phasing

Sunday, 23 December 2007

I Remember, I Remember, I Remember When I Lost My Mind
Mood:

rushed
Now Playing: Launchcast Music Player

I have been so busy, it's not even funny. I've barely had time to come on the computer at all, let alone to update. As I start this, Tuesday, December 18, 2007, 9:35 PM (**there's some editing to make things more relevant and updated, and will be dated and marked with double asterisks, since the majority was typed at the aforementioned date- Sunday, December 23, 2007**), I wouldn't be shocked if it took me until New Year's to post it. Well, hopefully not, because I want to post before Sunday, but looking at my hectic upcoming schedule, oy. (Launchcast music break: Disney's "Beauty and the Beast" Human Again)

Let's start why it's been so insane around here: After my step-dad's heart attack, they put him on a heart monitor that he wore for about 8 days, then they noticed that he kind of had another episode with his heart and a doctor (not his, but another one in the same practice) put him in the hospital immediately after his appointment. He let us come back home and get some clothes for him. After we checked in the hospital, his doctor was there and said that he didn't need to be there, but he was almost at stroke level and they need to thin his blood and bring his blood pressure down; but he still came home the same day. Then there is all this rubbish I'm doing for my mother and her school work while I'm trying to find some Christmas cheer by cleaning up the house and stuff, but it just feels like I'm fighting a losing battle. And I have been operating on little sleep when I have to stay up late to do something for her school, but then I have to get up early to go to a doctor's appointment. I have been so exhausted. (Launchcast music break: "Singin' In the Rain" Would You?)

I mean, this week alone, I was up until almost 2 AM Sunday night/Monday morning coloring and cutting stuff out for examples for the children, had to be up at 5:45 AM to go to a doctor's appointment, came home, had a rough nap (woke up like every half-hour for about 4 hours), did a bunch of school paper work, cleaned up the kitchen, and cooked dinner. (Launchcast music break: Sean Kingston Me Love) Today, Tuesday, was a bit lighter, but not really, I had to wrap all the gifts for her children (my neck and back are so sore), did laundry, cleaned a bit of the dining room, and did more paper work. Tomorrow, I have to bake cupcakes, fix the chicken, finish wrapping the gifts for other people we already have at the house, wash and press my hair, more paper work, and, if I find the time, vacuum. Thursday I have to go to another doctor's appointment with my step-dad, bring the cupcakes to school, stay the rest of the day, then try and finish the last minute Christmas shopping, then come home and wrap the gifts that go to the principal and janitors. Friday, I'm going try to finish cleaning the house (at least the living room/dining room), mop the kitchen, clean out that window thing (although I might move that to Wednesday, because Friday is trash day and I want as much stuff gone as possible, because our other trash day is Tuesday, but that's Christmas and they won't be running), vacuum (if I don't get to it Wednesday), unwrap the portable picture/mp3 type thingy we got my mother, upload pictures of her grandson, and re-wrap it, and I was going to try to clean my room, good luck with that. (Launchcast music break: Motley Crue Dr. Feelgood)

Seeing all of this stuff written out, I may drop dead by Saturday. Heaven help me. (Launchcast music break: "42nd Street" 42nd Street; not the original cast version, this one is 9 1/2 minutes long, I haven't heard the first one so I don't know if it's this long)

(Launchcast music break: Jack Johnson Good People) It also didn't brighten my mood seeing the Steelers drop 2 games in a row. One to "that team" and the other to the Jaguars. At home even, we were undefeated at home all year until then, and our last two games are on the road, which we have an abysmal 2-4 record on the road. Thanks loser schedule makers, I wasn't happy about this in March, and I'm terrified about it now. I can't even say that we'll be okay because our last two opponents are crappy teams (and they are) because all year Pittsburgh has lost to crappy teams on the road, except in the state of Ohio. There is a real possibility that the Browns could win the AFC North, and the Steelers may MISS the post-season. They have to get themselves together, I mean, this is the first time all season that we've lost two games in a row, and while the Rams game (which I just realized is Thursday) freaks me out, the fact that the last game in Baltimore (who have become the team to lose to the previously winless Dolphins, I bet Jim Rome is PISSED) practically scares the piss out of me. Pardon my language, but they are imploding like the Giants do every season (which they are right on track with; poor Shockey, he broke his leg and his ankle in that last game, he's still really hot, but they started their annual suck-fest before Jeremy got injured). (Launchcast music break: Bing Crosby/Andrews Sisters Here Comes Santa Claus; this version is my favorite) **UPDATE- The Steelers won the AFC North because they beat the Rams (but Willie broke his leg and is out for the rest of the year; no es bueno ) and the Browns lost to the Bungles, not too shabby for a team that was supposed to finish third behind the Ratbirds and Bungles because the 2006-interception-prone Ben was the real Ben, and we had a rookie head coach, and our defense wouldn't be anything without Joey Porter, and other stupid excuses they came up with to doubt Pittsburgh. But the defense is starting to struggle, it just shows how important it is to have our front 3 healthy, we lost Aaron Smith a few weeks ago, and for some reason the rest of them forgot how to tackle. And the Giants had a decent game today, more due to the Bills blowing a lead, having special teams issues (know what that's like), and general falling apart today, because Eli was terrible, he had 2 picks and no touchdowns. We all know who was the best QB in that draft! - December 23, 2007** (Launchcast music break: "La Cage Aux Folles" I Am What I Am; wow, I LOVE this song!)

If you are into individual awards, and I am when it comes to a certain quarterback, they announced who made the Pro-Bowl today and my Snookie made it (yes, he has earned another nauseatingly, saccharine dripping nickname from me ). I'm so happy for Ben, now go and fake a hangnail or something so you don't actually have to go. The Pro-Bowl is such a joke; everybody wants to be named to go (it's like an honor or something, and the bonus in their checks don't hurt, either), but nobody wants to play. They should make it flag-football, or a competition or something. I believe I've said this before, but I wouldn't be upset if they just got rid of it. It's not like baseball's All-Star game, that is actually important because it decides home-field advantage between the AL and NL during the World Series, whereas the Super Bowl is played on a neutral site. Other Steelers named to the Pro-Bowl: Willie Parker, Alan Faneca, James Harrison, and Troy Polamalu. I feel Alan and Troy got in because they always get in, they haven't really been great this season, Troy has been injured, so that might get him the benefit of the doubt. Eh, whatever, in the end it is nothing but a popularity contest. Another individual accolade Ben has is that he had broken Terry Bradshaw's record for touchdowns in a single season. Terry's was 28, and Ben now has 29 on the season, and still only 11 interceptions. It might have been a bigger deal if we'd won that last game, but, as Helio Castronoves says, "it is what it is." (Launchcast music break: No Doubt Bathwater) **UPDATE- After the Rams game, Ben now has 32 touchdowns on the season, to still just 11 interceptions, and achieved his second game with a perfect passer rating of the season (according to my research, he is the only quarterback to have two "perfect" games in the same season), giving him 3 for his career; a feat that is only matched by Peyton Manning. YAY, Snookie! The only bad record he's achieved this season is that he's the second most sacked quarterback in the league and I think is second in team history for one season, that sucks. The O-line has been really awful this season, but look at what Ben has done in spite of it, and he still THANKS them after every game and said that he was taking them to Hawaii when he goes to the Pro-Bowl! He's a stand-up guy, what else can I say about him?- December 23, 2007** (Launchcast music break: Whitney Houston I'm Your Baby Tonight)

I have just received word that Ashley is engaged (again). For those keeping score for these past few years, she has been through one engagement with her high school boyfriend because they were frightened by separation due to the fact she was in the military and was being sent to England, she cheated on said boyfriend numerous times, got pissed off when he had a girlfriend, got knocked up by some other military guy, has a miscarriage, and finally is going to marry some "old white guy" (her words, not mine). Whatever. One interesting note is that she said she would see him for Christmas. I wonder if this means she's not coming home anymore. If so, there's one lie I don't have to tell, although I think I had decided on the truth seeing how I misread the e-mail. Looking at my itinerary for the next few days, I may not reply until after Christmas, and if she is coming home, she may not even see it. I'm actually too tired to care anymore. "It is what it is." Hm, I may have found a new catch phrase. (Launchcast music break: "Sweet Charity" If My Friends Could See Me Now)

****************************************************************************************************

By the By, the Tony Reali thing? Fin. Yeah. I don't want to go into details, but it has run it's course. I still watch the show and stuff, but not the same way, not even the way I did before I fancied him. "It is what it is." (Launchcast music break: INXS Need You Tonight)

Well, it's two days before Christmas and all I want for Christmas is Ben Roethlisberger. All Ben Roethlisberger wants is an Offensive Line. Well, I'd settle for a new life, but those are kind of hard to wrap. (Launchcast music break: "A Chorus Line" One {Finale})

I should mention that for the past few weeks I have been tearing up Launchcast (which I may officially have change to Yahoo! Music from now on), for some reason I decided to look up all the show tunes that I love and rated them and most of them are on there. It's so flipping awesome! If they would only play Holier Than Thou from Nunsense, I'd be set, that's my new favorite song. (Launchcast music break: Radiohead Creep)

HERE WE GO STEELERS, BEAT THOSE RATBIRDS!!!!

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!! (Or, so no one is offended, Happy Christma-kwanz-akkah!)

I totally want to rock him hard this Christmas! (Launchcast music break: TLC Red Light Special)

This is from training camp 2 years ago. I wish he'd grow his hair out again, it's so cute. (Launchcast music break: "Bells Are Ringing" Just In Time)

I'm phasing.

Posted by wrestling3/offthedeepend at 9:06 PM EST
Updated: Sunday, 23 December 2007 9:12 PM EST
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Monday, 3 December 2007

A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes?
Mood:

a-ok

I keep having dreams about Tony Reali! What does this mean? I dreamt this one on Friday night/Saturday morning. This time he was my boyfriend and I was in the refrigerator looking for the grease from the turkey (that I made after Thanksgiving) so I could make gravy (look, most dreams don't make sense anyway) and he kept asking me what I was looking for. I don't really remember much after that because then the dream kind of turned into a poor man's Harry Potter rip-off. I was with a bunch of people in a corridor, and it was tinted blue and we were trying to read some map and there was a watch group looking out for us. I remember when I tried to turn a corner, some woman in a viking helmet on a white horse rode past us (me and some guy, it could have been Tony, but I'm not sure, but whoever it was did play the part my boyfriend in this part of the dream). Then we were in a sweet shop, I'm guessing it was supposed to be like Honeydukes or something, but it was really like a convenient store. The worst part was that I didn't buy anything because they didn't have ANY chocolate. I'm not sure what's bugging me more: the fact that the dream was so weird or that it was the second dream I've had about Tony in about three weeks. I've only had THREE dreams about Ben in all (and it's been a couple of years since) and it wasn't until the third when something interesting happened, we held hands while walking through a parking lot. In the first one I was in a stadium (it was supposed to be Heinz Field) watching him play, the seats weren't even as good as the one I actually went to, and in the second one we passed each other in a hallway. He didn't even give me a second look. I just don't understand, but it has made my nights much more interesting.

Sunday night's game started out with all of the Steelers fans calling for Bruce Arians head when the offense just couldn't seem to do anything in the first quarter, especially since the Bungles scored on their first possession, I believe. In the second quarter, Ben ran for a score, which looked to be the exact same controversial touchdown he had from the Super Bowl, it was upheld just the same, and things went downhill for the Bungles from there! Especially when the offense turned it over FOUR TIMES (Willie fumbled twice, would have been a third, but they ruled his knee was down, and Ben threw two interceptions), but the Bungles just couldn't do anything with them; chalk that up to Pittsburgh's more than awesome defense who just kept forcing 3-and-outs. Hines had a great game, catching two touchdowns to break John Stallworth's franchise TD reception record (new record is 68). I was so happy for Hines, and the ovation the stadium gave him after the tie-breaking TD was unbelievable.

The quarterback stats for this game were- Carson Palmer: 17/44, 183 yards, 0 TDs/0 INTs; Ben Roethlisberger- 21/32, 184 yards, 3 TDs (1 rushing)/2 INTs. TD/INT ratio for the season, to date- Palmer: 21/15; Ben: 25/11.

Finally, since Ben's rookie season, the Steelers have swept the Bungles and are now 5-0 in the AFC North, 9-3 overall; not too shabby.

I know most Steelers fans, myself included, hate the ex-Bungle, Cris Collinsworth, but during the halftime show, they did the funniest thing: Jerome Bettis (I miss The Bus) went to a Steelers bar and was greeted by a throng of Black and Gold faithful (and one Bungles fan), they were all just so excited to see him and he stayed to watch the game with them. Meanwhile, Collinsworthless (as he is called by most of Pittsburgh's fans) showed up in a practically deserted bar and no one seemed to even know who he was. It was hilarious. I'm sure they did that bit on purpose, but I know that Bus showing up to the Steelers bar was a complete surprise. I would have died if I had been there.

Now the Steelers have to face my most hated team in the league. Oy, vey. I am so not looking forward to this game. I'm going to be absolutely ill. Plus, I'll be able to see the game as well; another 3-game viewing streak for me. Oh, I am going to be rolling on the floor, if I couldn't watch the Bungles game, I know there is no way I'll be able to handle this one. This is how I'll be watching this game:

Hopefully, Baltimore softens them up a bit. I don't think the Ravens will beat New England, but maybe they can take some more air out of that balloon. The Colts and the Eagles already laid some of the game plans to defeat that team, but neither finished the job. Like I said, I doubt Baltimore will beat them, but maybe they can help expose their weaknesses a bit more, and Pittsburgh can stick the final nail in the coffin. A girl can dream. If it came down to it, I'd much rather the Steelers beat New England in the playoffs than in the regular season, but I hate New England so much and now their fans are pissing me off, I just want them to lose, to ANYBODY. I mean, I had issues with New England before I decided to get into football, but their ignorant fans, who don't even take the time to learn the game, make me sick; most of them said the best thing Pittsburgh could do to win is to not show up. You can't even try to get into an intelligent conversation with them, anytime you bring up something that isn't in their favor they just scream about how they're best team ever and they have already won the Super Bowl and there is no need to even play out the rest of the season. I loathe everything about that organization; top to bottom.

I have yet to get into the Christmas spirit. I mean, I haven't even put out the lights outside yet. The worst part is that on the days I should have, like when it was 60° or better, then when I want to do it the next day, it's like 38° and/or raining. Like today might be nice, but it's extremely windy out. Who knows? I might be able to recapture it soon, tonight, ABC Family is showing The Year Without a Santa Claus (my favorite), Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and ABC is showing A Charlie Brown Christmas. All very awesome Christmas viewing selections. Hopefully they show The Polar Express again, because I started watching it on Friday, but I kept getting interrupted, but it was WAY better than I thought it would be; I actually teared up towards the end.

I still have yet to find a way out of New Year's Eve, I know I've got a little time, and I believe that I'm just going to lie about it. Let me start by saying what the problem is: I misread and thought it just said New Year's, but it said New YORK and I don't have anyone to take. See, the way Ashley first worded it was just "Who is interested in doing the New York thing?" I said, "yes", just thinking we'd all go to some club or something. The date problem comes in when I said that since she invited Lisa, you know Mike would come along. Then she said she was thinking about lying and saying it was a girls night only, but in reality she was in the process of looking for a date and her friend Jen was/is bringing her boyfriend. Since I just looked at the old e-mail and saw the word "New York", I have a feeling that this trip could fall apart. Besides, I doubt my parents would let me go, especially since all the drama that has happened in the last couple of weeks and I don't like my friends anyway. Why should I set myself up for a craptastic time?

HERE WE GO, STEELERS! BEAT THOSE STUPID, CHEATING PASTERISKS SO THEIR CRAPPY BANDWAGONNING FANS CAN CLIMB BACK INTO THEIR HOLES AND THEIR UGLY QUARTERBACK CAN WIPE THAT STUPID LOOK OFF OF HIS FACE!!!!!

I had to bring out the arsenal.

Go get 'em baby!!!

I'm phasing.

Posted by wrestling3/offthedeepend at 7:57 PM EST
Updated: Monday, 3 December 2007 9:52 PM EST
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Wednesday, 28 November 2007

Field of Screams (of Frustration)
Mood:

not sure
Now Playing: Mp3 Shuffle
Best. Entry title. EVER!!!!

It perfectly describes what the Steelers and the Dolphins were forced to play on last night in that, too strange to describe game. The final score was THREE to ZERO. I didn't even need a hyphen or at least a -teen at the end of that. The game was scoreless for 59 minutes and 43 seconds; thank God for Jeff Reed (Skippy!!!) coming through with 17 seconds left to go in the entire game. It was disgraceful. I couldn't even watch the game, I left the tape running and spent the entire time refreshing the pages at the Steelers Fever Forums, which was the best way to spend it, IMO. The hugest story was the field, I mean, why were they forced to play on that thing. I mean, what if, God forbid, Ben's foot got stuck in that slop and he twisted his knee and the rest of our season is shot to hell because the owner doesn't want to invest in field turf. It's been rumored in the Steelers community that the Rooney family looks down on it, but when they allow high schools and the Pitt Panthers to play their home games at Heinz Field (respectively) on natural grass that looks terrible by the end of October, then you need to invest in something that's durable and long lasting. I know, the high school and college games are the reason they were able to build a new stadium, but last night should have the embarrassing wake up call they needed to rectify that. If anything, think of your franchise quarterback (or any of the starters, like they were really feeling the loss of Santonio last night), but the Steelers finally have a quality quarterback since the days of Terry Bradshaw, but Ben has yet to finish an entire season behind center, let's not let something like the ground underneath his feet be the reason why he can't make this his first entire season starting. I was trying to find a picture of when the Dolphins punted the ball to the Steelers and the ball stuck in the mud like a lawn dart. No such luck, but a very funny visual.

Glad we got the win and all, but when facing a now 0-11 team, you expect it to be better than that. From the score you can gather that Ben didn't throw a touchdown, but he added another interception (picked off by Joey Porter, by the by), bringing his total to 9. Next week, Pittsburgh hosts the Bungles, so that means it's time to BEAT SOME BUNGLE ASS!!!! I mean, the last two seasons the Steelers/Bungles have split the series with the visiting team winning. I won't settle for that, we must DESTROY them!!! We need to get something going just for the momentum for what we have after that. Especially since they've been struggling against crap teams. Well, Monday they were moving the ball pretty well, especially Hines, would come up with a great first down catch, then there would be a stupid holding call and that would set them up in third and long that they couldn't convert, and we'd have to punt the ball away.

It was so exasperating. I have to say, the defense was AWESOME!!! If it weren't for them, I swear, the Dolphins would have won their first game of the season. Looking back, I'm sorry I failed to mention their stellar play in the Ravens game a few weeks ago. Forgive me D! But my estrogen levels peak to the very highest when it comes to the quarterback and all thoughts about anything else fly out the window. Besides, I think I'm usually stumping for him to get some recognition. The Steelers have the number one defense (a second shutout really helped), and nobody can disagree with that, especially when you have statistics to back it up and the Beast Man known as James Harrison b.k.a. Silverback. Here we go Steelers!!!! CRUSH THOSE BUNGLES BECAUSE THEY SUCK!!!!

To update about that photo from the last entry, it was from CMT's celebration of Hank Williams, Jr. His favorite football team is the Steelers and they were attempting to honor him by "singing" Are You Ready for Some Football? When I was looking at the screenshots, the descriptions kept saying "thank goodness there's no sound." I didn't think it could be that bad, but it was worse! They can't sing for hell! They didn't even attempt to learn the words! Of course I recorded it, but I don't know if I'll be listening to it again, it was that bloody awful. I hope this football thing works out for them because they won't be on American Idol anytime soon. The funniest part was that Cedric Wilson started it off by himself and he knew the most words, the rest of the guys had other teammates with them and stumbled through the song. What was so funny was that Ced had this look that said, "These guys are holding me back, I'm going solo!" Silly Steelers.

I still really loathe New England.

I won't elaborate too much at this moment, mostly because I have yet to formulate any type of a plan, but I need to get out of the New Year's Eve plans with Ashley, just to save myself the humiliation. More on this next entry, if I remember.

Thanksgiving went okay, very little drama. We also didn't stay but a couple of hours.

There really is no smooth transition for this next bit.

It is a sad time for the NFL, Redskins' Safety Sean Taylor lost his life after being shot by an intruder in his home in Florida. I couldn't figure out why he wasn't with the team after losing to Tampa Bay, but I didn't know he was out with an injury for the game. One of the things I don't understand is why wasn't security beefed up at his house. Someone, don't know if it was the same person or not, had already broken into his house 8 days before he was shot. No one knows all the details, but I would think that there would be extra security on the house. It's still really tragic, I mean, he had his problems, and was one of many who had the not so sparkling reputation of being a player from "Da U", but he was turning his life around. I know it's terrible when a parent has to bury their child, but I feel the worst for his one-year old daughter. She will never get to know him.

R.I.P. to one hell of a player.

I'm phasing.

Posted by wrestling3/offthedeepend at 1:05 PM EST
Updated: Wednesday, 28 November 2007 2:55 PM EST
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Wednesday, 21 November 2007

Tch!
Mood:

don't ask
So far, it has been one of those weeks were something aggravating happens, and you get really bummed out about it, and then a reality check comes and hits you and makes you put it all into perspective. We'll start of with the Steelers, who just lost to a team whose only previous win came against the winless Dolphins (0-10; more on them in a bit), in overtime. I heard that the O-Line was very sieve-like and that there were defenders in the backfield ALL FREAKING DAY!!! The defense also allowed their first 100-yard rusher in like 2 1/2 years. The most annoying thing is that I know Ben thanked O-Line in the press conference after the game and said how great they played. He is so... Well, he's not throwing them under the bus like he could. What a guy. I had been apprehensive to look at the stats, but I saw that Ben did throw the lone touchdown (along with an interception (23/8 is the count at the moment), but it is extremely hard to do much else when one is on their back all afternoon (SEVEN SACKS?!). Well, there is something I would like to do with him while he is on his back all afternoon, but I digress. So now we have to play the still winless Dolphins on the national stage on Monday and Miami will not hold back. They have nothing to lose and will give it to the Steelers all 60 minutes. Hell, they just took Ricky Williams back, and in his first game, he'll probably rush for 100 yards and 4 TDs against us. Ugh, I am so not looking forward to this game. I mean, even if they win, I'll be happy, but not like joyous because you are SUPPOSED to beat bad teams. But not the Steelers, they want to be weird. Are they trying to give the division to the Browns and do the 6th seed thing again? Because that is hard to do, not saying it's impossible since they did it 2 years ago, but you want an easier road to the Super Bowl than that.

Now for the reality check. My step-dad had a mild heart attack on Monday when he was sitting at his desk for work. So now my football teams shortcomings seem a bit trivial at this point (although, it still would have made me feel better if they had won). He got home yesterday. I'm glad it was mild, but still it's very scary, but he's in good spirits. I said he did this because he didn't want to help put the Christmas tree up and he said that he was upset because now he had to use some vacation days and it shortened his Christmas holiday.

I would like to announce that I am weaning myself off of my antihistamines. I have gone without them for four days (tonight will be the fifth night I don't take them to go to sleep). It's really hard and I get really itchy, but I can do it. I mean, when you start to build up a tolerance to them and the only way they work is when they have "liquid assistance", then it's time to quit. I'll miss my little pink pills, but when I take them I want them to work.

Monday night, Lisa called while I was actually working on the computer, not just drooling at photos of Ben. She left a message saying that she and Luna are going to the top 40 station's "Little Black Dress" party and they wanted me to go with them. Her selling point? The Backstreet Boys are hosting/performing the event. I didn't want to go in the first place, and that is not sweetening the pot for me. Why can't she just accept that I've outgrown them and I am just so over them. She still seems to think that if I ever saw them out in public I'd scream and stuff. Most likely not. Now some football players, not even Steelers, I'd give it a better shot. Rem also called today and invited me to some dinner on Friday night. *Sigh* I just don't have the time, the energy, or the basic caring emotion to even want to go.

I'm not too sure where I am with Tony Reali, he was cute in today's episodes of ATH and PTI, but now that Ben has been ON for the season, I don't know. I did have some weird dream about Tony the other day. I was back in high school and he was a teacher, but nothing of a sexual nature happened between us, which I found to be odd when I woke up. Maybe if it had been Ben, the dream would have been TOTALLY different. Anyway, I think it may have been Halloween in the dream because most of the students were dressed up in costumes. Also, there was a birthday, I remember because pink balloons that said "Happy 50th Birthday, Paris." I don't know why they said that specific name, they just did. The earliest part of the dream I remember was that I was talking to Tony about something and getting something from him (like when teachers' who are also coaches or something are selling candy and whatnot for their sport, band, etc.) Then I was back in the hall with two of my "friends" (random dream people), a guy and a girl, that's when I saw all the costumes and balloons. Then I found myself back in Tony's classroom, it felt like I had to get something from him for another teacher, because it wasn't my time I was supposed to be in his class. Then I was sitting at a desk with my two friends and all of a sudden the girl was leaving to go wherever she really needed to be. So it was me and the guy sweating it out. It didn't feel like we would get in trouble, more like we were annoying Tony and he'd kick us out. The dream ended (well, the last bit I remember) with Tony talking to another student like after class was over, then, just when he was about to get to me, another teacher showed up and occupied all his attention. I just thought it was kind of bizarre that my subconscious would put him in that role.

Why have I answered over 1200 questions on Yahoo! Answers?

I can't believe that the soft rock stations are playing Christmas music already. WASH started last Thursday at 3PM, and Baltimore's counterpart started the next day at I think 6PM. I don't mind, I love Christmas music, but it does get tiresome right before the actual day. Then I'll start missing it in like April or something.

I wasn't going to put a picture in this entry, not because the Steelers lost, but because I put about 20 in the last one, but this photo is hilarious!

Someone spends a little too much time playing Guitar Hero, me thinks.

I have to get going, have to shower before Dirty, Sexy Money starts.

With that, I hope everyone truly has a safe and wonderful Thanksgiving and with the week I had, and it's only Wednesday, I know I have stuff to be truly thankful for.

And for the love of all things holy, can the Steelers PLEASE beat the Dolphins?

I'm phasing.

Posted by wrestling3/offthedeepend at 9:29 PM EST
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Thursday, 15 November 2007

Picture Perfect
Mood:

amorous
Now Playing: YouTube Randomness

By the skin of their teeth, the Steelers pulled out a win against the Browns. At half-time they were down 21-9. I couldn't believe it, well I kind of fell asleep watching the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie during the first half (I'm sick this week with a cold), and it wasn't until the third quarter when I turned the Eagles/Redskins game on to see the score. I thought I was going to die, it took forever for the box in the corner to scroll around so I could get score updates. The thing I'm happy about is that Pittsburgh is FINALLY getting recognition for being a good team (more on this below). Folks who watched that game said that it was Ben who put them on his back and carried them to victory in the second half. I'm so proud of him. I know one thing, the Steelers HAVE GOT to work on Special Teams. They are HORRIBLE. That's how Cleveland scored most of their points on Sunday, one 90 yard return to Pittsburgh's 4-yard line and another 100 yard return for a TD. Why can't anyone on our Special Teams tackle? Pitiful.

Like I said, Ben had a good game (what can you do for an encore when you throw 5 TDs in a half?), he threw 2 touchdowns and ran for another (30 yards! Ben was truckin'). His name is being thrown in the mix of being an "elite quarterback", and now I'm a little nervous about all the attention. What happens if he has a bad game? All those "expert" analysts will probably sprain their ankles hopping off of the Ben-wagon (I wish I was clever enough to have come up with that, alas, it was not I, but a well known Steelers blogger). Pittsburgh's next three games are @ the Jets (1-7), the Dolphins (0-8, and another MNF game), and hosting the Bungles (3-6, they beat the Ravens 21-7, by kicking SEVEN field goals; Carson Palmer great quarterback my ass, he couldn't get into the endzone at all against Baltimore, but Ben lit them up). These are very dangerous teams and they should not be overlooked. Both the Jets and the Phins are going to go all out to try to win and we must take them very seriously because desperate teams do crazy things, I mean we lost to Arizona and Denver, games we should have won and had to mount a miraculous comeback over Cleveland. The Steelers must take these games seriously. Then the Bungles are division foes, who have beaten the Steelers in Pittsburgh the past two seasons (just as the Steelers have done in Cincinnati, but with more devastating results, i.e. crushed playoff hopes). We HAVE GOT TO WIN those three games because after those is the next BIG ONE. We have to play that stupid undefeated team that the talking heads can't shut up about, away at that. Most are saying that Pittsburgh has the greatest chance of beating them (personally I'm hoping they overlook Buffalo this week and take some of the pressure off) since we do have the number one overall defense, at the moment, we've showed that our quarterback can throw his behind off (so that's where it went), and we have one of the top rushers in the league. It only feels safe to say we can hold our own. But we lose really stupid games that we should win. All the Steelers need to do is handle their business, take it one game at a time, and they will be fine.

Wow, I can't believe Thanksgiving (and practically Christmas) is just around the corner. This year we're supposed to go over one of my aunt's house, and we'll just see how this goes. I'm not really into company, I'm not comfortable in my own skin around people, so this is going to be tough. Plus, we have to be there at 2:00, hopefully that will be the Lions game because that's the reason I like having it here so I can watch football at my leisure. I don't have high hopes for this.

I know what I want for Christmas, it's the same thing I've wanted for the past three Christmases, I just know I won't get it. Even though it is soooooooooooooooooo gorgeous.

Oh, he is TOO sexy! Look at his big ass Super Bowl ring! It's beautiful!

Oh yeah, and I also found the screen caps I wanted from the Monday night game against the Ravens (THANK YOU ERIN!!!; Big Ben News):

Yep, those made me want to rip off all my clothes, or his, it doesn't matter.

And some cute photos from the Browns game this past Sunday.

Ben and Hines wait in anticipation of the Browns last-minute field goal attempt.

The kick goes up.

HE MISSED IT!!!!!!!!11

Down go Ben and Hines...

To the ground!

They replayed that clip so much on ESPN, but I love it. Ben and Hines are SOOOOOOOOO cute!

HERE WE GO, STEELERS! BEAT THOSE JETS!

I'm phasing.

Posted by wrestling3/offthedeepend at 2:59 PM EST
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Wednesday, 7 November 2007

Do You Know What Today Is?
Mood:

amorous
Now Playing: Tony Toni Tone

Okay, so I was going through the old entries and I realized (besides I'm crazy as all outdoors) that November 7, 2004 was the day I officially gave my heart to Ben Roethlisberger (and the Pittsburgh Steelers); well it was the day they ended New England's 21-game winning streak and NOBODY gave them a chance. I remember they were saying that the Steelers had a nice little streak of their own going (I believe it was 6 or 7 games), but big, bad New England was coming to town and no team, especially with a rookie quarterback, was going to beat them. Technically, I was still feeling the Jags a bit, but I'll credit this date because it was the second time I saw Ben and really noticed that he would be something special. So, I dedicate Tony Toni Tone's Anniversary to him.

I can't believe it's been 3 years (well, four seasons). I also can't believe it took this long to pinpoint the date, but I don't really look through the past entries much unless I'm looking for something specific. I wanted to update more, but I've been in a right state lately, hopefully I can overcome it. I don't want to spend too much of this entry talking shop, but I do want to say that the Steelers are 6-2 after beating the Bungles 24-13. Then they CRUSHED the Ratbirds in prime-time on Monday Night Football, the night when they were celebrating the 75th anniversary all-time team 38-7! We scored 35 of those points in the FIRST HALF!!! Ben, my Ben-Ben, Big Ben Roethlisberger threw FIVE (5) TOUCHDOWNS in the first half! A feat accomplished by one other quarterback this year, who shall remain nameless (hint: ugh). He also achieved the second perfect passer rating of his career Monday night. So for the season Ben has 20 touchdowns (career high) to only 6 interceptions, has a passer rating of 111.9, he's second only to some guy. I know it's only the halfway point of the season, but who would have thought he would have more touchdowns and a better passer rating than Peyton Manning (14, 100.8 respectively) this far into the season, Manning does have less interceptions though (4). Especially after last year when Ben had 23 interceptions to only 18 touchdowns (previous career high), as ESPN kept reminding me this off-season.

So far the Steelers are 3-0 in our division and hopefully we can make that 4-0 in the AFC North and a 7-2 record over all when we face the Browns at home. The thing is these aren't the same Browns we faced in week 1, since then, they are averaging like over 30 points a game (about 28 if you include the first week). It could be intersting, and it also brings my 3-game viewing streak to an end.

With that, I wish Ben and myself a happy anniversary, and to treat myself...

I'm uspet that no one has screen-caps of when Ben arrived at the stadium Monday night. He had on this suit (and it wasn't pinstriped!), OMG... It made me want to rip off all my clothes. I know, I have issues.

Here we go, Steelers! Beat those Brownies! Again!

I'm phasing.

Posted by wrestling3/offthedeepend at 3:05 PM EST
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Saturday, 27 October 2007

A Desperate Plea
Mood:

blue

Come on Steelers, please win this game. Please.

Posted by wrestling3/offthedeepend at 11:26 PM EDT
Updated: Saturday, 27 October 2007 11:29 PM EDT
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Thursday, 25 October 2007

The Denver Debacle
Mood:

d'oh
Now Playing: You Can't Stop the Beat

I just don't know what to say. That loss to the Broncos was just, I don't know. Ben threw 2 picks and fumbled a ball away, which Denver returned for a touchdown. Ouch. He kind of redeemed himself a bit when he threw 3 more touchdowns to tie the game up towards the end (he threw a TD really early on), but Denver won with a last second field goal 31-28. I know Ben deserves some (and I'm sure took more than his fair share) of the blame, but what I want to know is what happened to our defense? They were ranked number one in most categories (like points allowed, which before Denver was 9.4 a game). They were giving up 3rd down conversions like crazy, and I don't mean 3rd and short, I saw 3rd & 8 and 3rd & 12. WTF? I know Ben was responsible for 14 of Denver's points, but without his improvisation, Steelers could have lost 28-7 or something. Another thing I wondered is why was the running game abandoned. That was stupid. I think someone was trying to be VERY clever and just ended up outsmarting themselves. Denver's run defense was ranked next-to-last, if not last, in the league. So somebody must have said, "They can't stop the run, all we do is run, so I'm going to surprise them and PASS all night." Whatever.

Now we have to go into Cincinnati to face the 2-4 Bungles. You know what we have to do? We have to BEAT SOME BUNGLE ASS! This is another must win game (I think they all are, but that seems to be just me)! We need this for division supremacy, and to just create a small cushion between us and Baltimore and Cleveland, and we play both teams after Cincinnati, respectively. If Pittsburgh beats Cincy, then we'll be 5-2, Baltimore will be 4-3 (they're on bye this week), if Cleveland wins they'll be 4-3, and Cincinnati will be 2-5. If we lose: Pitt- 4-3, Balt- 4-3, Cleveland wins- 4-3/Cleveland loses- 3-4, Cincinnati- 3-4. It could be a tight division. We must beat the Bungles. MUST.

I hate her. Ugh. It's not even righteous anger, it's more of me shutting down.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid New England. Goddamn them to hell. I hope they go 16-0, get the top seed and lock up the bye-week for the playoffs, and LOSE THEIR FIRST GAME (preferably to the Steelers {if we can get there})! That whole region of the country sucks balls.

I was looking at Spiral Frog's website (that's the site where you can legally download for free) the other day, and it looks to be more trouble than it's worth. It said that if you have Windows Vista (and I do) it causes some trouble and if you're running Windows Media Player 11 (which I am), it will give error messages, but you can fix it if you go to the "Start" button, then "Run", and some other instructions. I was leaning towards doing it, but I couldn't find "Run" on this computer (I have on the old one, so it's not me being that stupid). I'll keep checking back on it, you never know when they'll work out all the kinks so I don't have to. After all, that's how they'll make more money, you try something and like it, then you recommend it to everybody, and everyone visits the website.

I still don't know what to make of this Tony Reali thing. I was upset that they played "Psychics" today instead of "Over/Under", but I was loving Around the Horn today (good episode, hilarious).

Just for filler, I'm shocked that I didn't put up my new TV viewing schedule, it's pretty solid, (N) means new show this season:

Sunday: NFL Football
Monday: MNF- sometimes, and mostly with the sound off, the commentators SUCK something terrible
Tuesday: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Wednesday: Dirty Sexy Money (N)- It's been pretty intriguing so far, I keep coming back for more (but I still can't wait for Lost (bestshowever) to come back in February)
Thursday: Ugly Betty- It's still pretty solid, but they keep throwing curves in here and there and drag some things out too long; Big Shots (N)- Pretty decent, it's kind of like Desperate Housewives or Sex in the City with dudes (Michael Vartan and Dylan McDermott are pretty hot to be older guys, 39 and 46, respectively)
Friday: Women's Murder Club (N)- It's based on books by James Patterson, and has filled the void of Law & Order quite nicely (which I found out that not only is it not coming back until January, but they're moving it to Sundays, why?)
Saturday: College Football- ALL. DAY. LONG! It's been such an awesome season so far! (Although it has some competition this Saturday, ABC Family is airing a marathon of Scariest Places on Earth, and I LOVE that show and have been wondering when they would show it, so I expect a lot of flipping back and forth)

I forgot to mention that I'll be able to see the Steelers @ Bungles game on Sunday (since Baltimore isn't playing), the last two games I saw, we lost (@ Arizona, @ Denver, and we beat Buffalo at home) and I'll be able to see the one after this because it's on MNF (ugh). Can we please get our collective act together and kick some divisional ass the next three weeks, or at worst 2 out of 3, but a sweep would be better.

Ben's photo is from some show called Sports Science that comes on FSN, but since I have CSN, I don't think I'll see it. %^&*%@ Comcast!

He looks so hot in that photo; and now a picture of his bum!

It's quite non-existent, isn't it? But I felt I should put it up anyway. What the hell is wrong with me?! I'm still so conflicted between Ben and Tony. The important thing is that don't feel guilty, conflicted, yes, but not guilty. Or something.

Here we go, Steelers! BEAT THOSE BUNGLES!!! PLEASE!

I'm phasing.

Posted by wrestling3/offthedeepend at 9:37 PM EDT
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Thursday, 18 October 2007

Bye, Bye, Bye Weeks Really Suck
Mood:

irritated
Now Playing: YouTube Randomness

Extremely lame title, I know, but good ones are hard to come by. It is so boring without the Steelers playing, but that's the one weekend I can enjoy the NFL, because I don't have to worry about them losing. We play Denver (2-3) on Sunday night, so I'll be able to see them. I have mixed emotions about it. Baltimore (4-2) and Cleveland (3-3) won this past week, so that makes this next game really important, just so we can keep a lead in the division. The Bungles lost again to the Chiefs, dropping their record to 1-4! It makes me laugh, because they were so hyped this past off-season, and now they're falling apart at the seams.

I really loathe New England. They look so... good, and that pisses me off to highest level of pisstivity. And according to ESPN, we should just cancel the rest of the football season and give them the Lombardi. UGH.

Jeff Gordon won, AGAIN. Come on, Smoke! I hope he didn't peak too early. It was a night race on Saturday, but I had completely forgotten about it. College football was just so awesome on Saturday (and has been all season, so far), upsets galore this season! At one point when I had turned the race on, I noticed there were a lot of empty seats. I hate to tell NASCAR how to run its business, because it was successful long before I started watching, but they might have to shorten their season. That's why they invented the Chase, because they knew that viewership and attendance drop dramatically when football season rolls around. Oh, and I think Jr. had another engine failure, but I can't be sure.

I found out that I didn't miss my mother. She became a total hag again. I did all that cleaning and making sure they had something to eat when they got home, and she couldn't have cared less. I just don't care anymore, though. I'm just going to do the school stuff for her, but that's about it. The less time I spend with her the better. I'm sorry, I'm getting sick and tired of her being angry at EVERYONE else, but taking it out on me and my step-dad, who do EVERYTHING for her. The thing is my brother is jealous, but he lives in Alabama, so he doesn't know the real deal. I've always noticed that she's had split-personalities. It's totally a Jekyll and Hyde thing.

The only good thing that has happened since they got back is that I've uploaded just about all my music to my phone. It's so great! I don't have to carry all that stuff with me like my CD player and extra CDs, it's all on my phone, and I rarely leave home without my phone. Technology is too much. The only thing is that there are lots of songs I like, but I don't have, and I don't really have the means to buy the CDs or the songs off of Napster or anything (and I'm not downloading a music-sharing program because of all the spyware). However, there is a place where you can legally download songs for free, it's ad-supported, but it's a bit of a hassle. Like you can't burn the songs to a CD, it's not compatible with an iPod (it did say it was okay with other mp3 players and phones that support music), but the thing that kind of turned me off the most was that you have to renew your account with it every 30 days. If you don't, all the songs you downloaded will disappear, even the ones you've uploaded to your mp3 player! God help you if you're out of town and don't have access to the Internet. I think every 30 days is too much, maybe like every 90 days would be better. I am tempted to try it, and if I like it, I'll keep up with the renewal, if not then I'll have to find some other way to get songs, because I'm loving all my music on my phone, and I know that it could get better. Especially if I could find all the songs from my YouTube lists, then I could listen to them without coming on the computer. Not that I don't enjoy it, but I do wish I could listen to them when I'm elsewhere.

I still really fancy Tony Reali. The wait for 5:00 on Monday was unbearable! *Sigh* I guess I'll just have to ride it out, but I do enjoy it so. Like I said, he has the exposure advantage over Ben, because I see him at least 5 days a week. Although, with Pittsburgh being in prime-time this week, if Ben has a decent game, and looks sexy like he is so wont to do, than my theory goes up in the air. Even though if Ben has a good game, they'll talk about it on Around the Horn, and I will be very happy all around. No downside, unless Ben has a bad game and the Steelers lose, because that makes it so hard to watch ESPN the following week.

OMG!!! I hate ESPN with the fire of a 1000 suns! They didn't show Around the Horn at all today (Thursday)! Something about Joe Torre quitting the managerial position of the Yankees. Who the hell cares about that?! Okay, I know they probably would have discussed this on ATH, but I'll never know because they didn't show the episode. The worst part is that they cut in at 5:00 on ESPN to talk about it, while they were also talking about it on ESPNEWS, AND they were going to bring it up during Sports Center! Of course, instead of showing ATH on ESPN2, they showed a re-run of a NASCAR countdown show. I know I like racing, but that was a repeat, ATH would have been a new episode. I am so goddamn angry. I mean, I plan dinner around this show. After a day of cleaning, and lesson plans, and other miscellaneous things, I like to sit down, eat, and watch the cute host preside over bickering sports writers. Is that too much to ask for? Jesus Christ, Goddammit! The only Tony fix I got today was that they played "Over/Under" on PTI today. And they ran that show only once. Tch!

I guess that will be it for me this time around. I forgot to mention that Ben's college Miami University (of Ohio) retired his jersey this past weekend, so you know where this is going...

He's only the third player in MU's history to have their number retired. Here we go, Steelers! Beat those Broncos!

I'm phasing.

Posted by wrestling3/offthedeepend at 6:53 PM EDT
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Tuesday, 9 October 2007

Kiss Today Goodbye...
Mood:

rushed
Now Playing: What I Did For Love (A Chorus Line)

Today, October 9, is my last day of freedom. The 'rents come back around 6:00pm this evening. Ah, it was so good while it lasted. I'll miss it, I love when they go out of town, it's just so peaceful. It's mostly my mother, because when she goes to Alabama by herself, it's still pretty good around here, as well.

4-1 going into the bye week is oh so sweet! It wasn't exactly the Super Bowl XL rematch most people were looking for. Although the Steelers did their part by putting up the 21 points, someone forgot to tell Seattle they were supposed to put up 10, instead we had a SHUT OUT! Yeah, it was so good. The greatest thing is that the Steelers played a dominating game without Troy and Casey on the defense. The offense was great too, the time-of-possession was 40 minutes to 20, advantage Pittsburgh! Ben went 18/22 1 TD 0 INT. Pretty good. I still don't know what happened last week, but I'm glad they were able to learn from it and let it go. I don't know what I'll do next week with the Steelers not playing.

I guess I'll have to see who I'm going to root for in the New England vs. Dallas game. Ugh, could there be a worse match-up? Both of those teams tout some of the most obnoxious fans in the NFL. What's even worse, I don't think, I KNOW there will be analysts who say "We could be looking at a preview of the Super Bowl!" That would be one of the worst games ever. The only Super Bowl match-up that would be worse is Colts vs. Giants. I would drown in the "Manning vs. Manning" over-hype. It's a bit early to say anything about the Giants at the moment, but I'm not sure they'll make the playoffs, let alone the Super Bowl this season. But they could get hot later on, so you never know.

I'm not even sure what to say about the race on Sunday. Tony's still fourth in the standings, but now he's like 156 points back of Jeff Gordon (who won, by the by). He was in such a great position to win, I'm not even sure what happened (I was flipping back and forth between race and a football game), but I think he finished in eighth place. No more fooling around, I need Tony to get really hot, and Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson (ugh) to have engine failures of Dale Earnhardt, Jr. proportions (he had his sixth engine failure of the season on Sunday). I'm just bloody tired of Hendrick Motor Sports; even though it will most likely get worse because Jr. (I like him, though) is going there next season, so he probably tripled their merchandise sales and JGR is going to Toyota and that's a crap-shoot at the moment.

I know I said I wasn't ready to declare anything for Tony Reali or against Ben, but I've got it so bad for Reali. I don't know why. But I'm still not going against Ben, I can't. If I do, I don't feel right. It does border on guilt, even though it's not like I'm abandoning him for another team or anything of that nature. I'm just going to let this play out, although it does make the wait for 5:00 take FOREVER to get here, because I miss Tony. The thing is in reality, I can't have either one of them, so what is there really to feel guilty about? Maybe it's because I feel that anyone else would deter the time I spend devoting to the Steelers (but mostly talking about Ben). Ben is still my boy (my boo, even). As long as he's in the Black and Gold, and doesn't do too many stupid things (on or off the field), I'll defend him until my hands fall off (none of my acquaintances watches football, so there's nothing to waste my voice over).

Speaking of acquaintances, Marcus text-messaged me yesterday at 11:30 when I was cleaning the house. From what he said in his second message, he was bored at work. No mention of what was supposed to happen last month. Whatever. I also forgot to mention that Ashley is back in town, but I e-mailed and said I wouldn't be back until today. Mostly because if something happened to me, and my parents weren't here, I'd be screwed. I may try to see her, but I'm not too sure. I'll really have to see who else is supposed to be coming. Since she's not too well (emotionally, mostly), I know she doesn't want to see Lisa's boyfriend. Let's just hope Lisa can actually do something without him. Speaking of Lisa, she's been blowing up my mobile (which is the greatest thing since I got the memory stick). She finally just left a message saying her daycare was hiring and they needed leaders with experience. Womp-womp. That is so not me. I sent her a text message back basically saying "thanks, but no thanks." I told her that I wasn't a leader, if it weren't for my mother, I would have never even worked in that stupid place. Plus, I can't handle kids; whoever was acting up, I just sent them to my mother. As for the leader thing, she's still thinking back to high school. That was so long ago (that fact is so depressing to me). It's kind of like the Linkin Park song Lying Away From You, you pretend up a person you think everyone wants you to be, and they think that's who you are. I mean, in some respects that was me, but it wasn't who I was totally, and it's barely who I am now. If it was, I might not be complaining so much about how they don't really know me and how I have nothing in common with the people I spent so much time with. Only in rare cases, but high school friends aren't really much, you're young, you think you know everything at the time, and the relationships aren't really based on anything solid. I mean, the reason Lisa and I became friends was because we both liked a certain boy band (and the same member). The next year, she kind of got into wrestling, not as much as I did, then it's been more miss than hit. There's just nothing to talk about anymore, we don't listen to the same music, we don't watch the same shows, I've already stated that nobody I know really watches football (Marcus kind of does, but he's wishy-washy; he has "too many" teams, you only get one). I know those are very shallow things, but it gets so old talking about high school. It's also just getting really old of being the odd one out (numerically and belonging wise).

I'm gonna jet, I'm starting to get hungry. I'm not yet at the point of where I want to start posting photos of Tony, so I'll do one of Ben.

I'm still quite jealous of those girls. I wish I could be one of them. Those dresses are kind of cute, too. But not as cute as the person in the middle.

I'm phasing.

Posted by wrestling3/offthedeepend at 4:32 PM EDT
Updated: Tuesday, 9 October 2007 4:37 PM EDT
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