I just don't know what to say. That loss to the Broncos was just, I don't know. Ben threw 2 picks and fumbled a ball away, which Denver returned for a touchdown. Ouch. He kind of redeemed himself a bit when he threw 3 more touchdowns to tie the game up towards the end (he threw a TD really early on), but Denver won with a last second field goal 31-28. I know Ben deserves some (and I'm sure took more than his fair share) of the blame, but what I want to know is what happened to our defense? They were ranked number one in most categories (like points allowed, which before Denver was 9.4 a game). They were giving up 3rd down conversions like crazy, and I don't mean 3rd and short, I saw 3rd & 8 and 3rd & 12. WTF? I know Ben was responsible for 14 of Denver's points, but without his improvisation, Steelers could have lost 28-7 or something. Another thing I wondered is why was the running game abandoned. That was stupid. I think someone was trying to be VERY clever and just ended up outsmarting themselves. Denver's run defense was ranked next-to-last, if not last, in the league. So somebody must have said, "They can't stop the run, all we do is run, so I'm going to surprise them and PASS all night." Whatever.

Now we have to go into Cincinnati to face the 2-4 Bungles. You know what we have to do? We have to BEAT SOME BUNGLE ASS! This is another must win game (I think they all are, but that seems to be just me)! We need this for division supremacy, and to just create a small cushion between us and Baltimore and Cleveland, and we play both teams after Cincinnati, respectively. If Pittsburgh beats Cincy, then we'll be 5-2, Baltimore will be 4-3 (they're on bye this week), if Cleveland wins they'll be 4-3, and Cincinnati will be 2-5. If we lose: Pitt- 4-3, Balt- 4-3, Cleveland wins- 4-3/Cleveland loses- 3-4, Cincinnati- 3-4. It could be a tight division. We must beat the Bungles. MUST.

I hate her. Ugh. It's not even righteous anger, it's more of me shutting down.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid New England. Goddamn them to hell. I hope they go 16-0, get the top seed and lock up the bye-week for the playoffs, and LOSE THEIR FIRST GAME (preferably to the Steelers {if we can get there})! That whole region of the country sucks balls.

I was looking at Spiral Frog's website (that's the site where you can legally download for free) the other day, and it looks to be more trouble than it's worth. It said that if you have Windows Vista (and I do) it causes some trouble and if you're running Windows Media Player 11 (which I am), it will give error messages, but you can fix it if you go to the "Start" button, then "Run", and some other instructions. I was leaning towards doing it, but I couldn't find "Run" on this computer (I have on the old one, so it's not me being that stupid). I'll keep checking back on it, you never know when they'll work out all the kinks so I don't have to. After all, that's how they'll make more money, you try something and like it, then you recommend it to everybody, and everyone visits the website.

I still don't know what to make of this Tony Reali thing. I was upset that they played "Psychics" today instead of "Over/Under", but I was loving Around the Horn today (good episode, hilarious).

Just for filler, I'm shocked that I didn't put up my new TV viewing schedule, it's pretty solid, (N) means new show this season:

Sunday: NFL Football
Monday: MNF- sometimes, and mostly with the sound off, the commentators SUCK something terrible
Tuesday: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Wednesday: Dirty Sexy Money (N)- It's been pretty intriguing so far, I keep coming back for more (but I still can't wait for Lost (bestshowever) to come back in February)
Thursday: Ugly Betty- It's still pretty solid, but they keep throwing curves in here and there and drag some things out too long; Big Shots (N)- Pretty decent, it's kind of like Desperate Housewives or Sex in the City with dudes (Michael Vartan and Dylan McDermott are pretty hot to be older guys, 39 and 46, respectively)
Friday: Women's Murder Club (N)- It's based on books by James Patterson, and has filled the void of Law & Order quite nicely (which I found out that not only is it not coming back until January, but they're moving it to Sundays, why?)
Saturday: College Football- ALL. DAY. LONG! It's been such an awesome season so far! (Although it has some competition this Saturday, ABC Family is airing a marathon of Scariest Places on Earth, and I LOVE that show and have been wondering when they would show it, so I expect a lot of flipping back and forth)

I forgot to mention that I'll be able to see the Steelers @ Bungles game on Sunday (since Baltimore isn't playing), the last two games I saw, we lost (@ Arizona, @ Denver, and we beat Buffalo at home) and I'll be able to see the one after this because it's on MNF (ugh). Can we please get our collective act together and kick some divisional ass the next three weeks, or at worst 2 out of 3, but a sweep would be better.

Ben's photo is from some show called Sports Science that comes on FSN, but since I have CSN, I don't think I'll see it. %^&*%@ Comcast!

He looks so hot in that photo; and now a picture of his bum!

It's quite non-existent, isn't it? But I felt I should put it up anyway. What the hell is wrong with me?! I'm still so conflicted between Ben and Tony. The important thing is that don't feel guilty, conflicted, yes, but not guilty. Or something.

Here we go, Steelers! BEAT THOSE BUNGLES!!! PLEASE!

I'm phasing.

Extremely lame title, I know, but good ones are hard to come by. It is so boring without the Steelers playing, but that's the one weekend I can enjoy the NFL, because I don't have to worry about them losing. We play Denver (2-3) on Sunday night, so I'll be able to see them. I have mixed emotions about it. Baltimore (4-2) and Cleveland (3-3) won this past week, so that makes this next game really important, just so we can keep a lead in the division. The Bungles lost again to the Chiefs, dropping their record to 1-4! It makes me laugh, because they were so hyped this past off-season, and now they're falling apart at the seams.

I really loathe New England. They look so... good, and that pisses me off to highest level of pisstivity. And according to ESPN, we should just cancel the rest of the football season and give them the Lombardi. UGH.

Jeff Gordon won, AGAIN. Come on, Smoke! I hope he didn't peak too early. It was a night race on Saturday, but I had completely forgotten about it. College football was just so awesome on Saturday (and has been all season, so far), upsets galore this season! At one point when I had turned the race on, I noticed there were a lot of empty seats. I hate to tell NASCAR how to run its business, because it was successful long before I started watching, but they might have to shorten their season. That's why they invented the Chase, because they knew that viewership and attendance drop dramatically when football season rolls around. Oh, and I think Jr. had another engine failure, but I can't be sure.

I found out that I didn't miss my mother. She became a total hag again. I did all that cleaning and making sure they had something to eat when they got home, and she couldn't have cared less. I just don't care anymore, though. I'm just going to do the school stuff for her, but that's about it. The less time I spend with her the better. I'm sorry, I'm getting sick and tired of her being angry at EVERYONE else, but taking it out on me and my step-dad, who do EVERYTHING for her. The thing is my brother is jealous, but he lives in Alabama, so he doesn't know the real deal. I've always noticed that she's had split-personalities. It's totally a Jekyll and Hyde thing.

The only good thing that has happened since they got back is that I've uploaded just about all my music to my phone. It's so great! I don't have to carry all that stuff with me like my CD player and extra CDs, it's all on my phone, and I rarely leave home without my phone. Technology is too much. The only thing is that there are lots of songs I like, but I don't have, and I don't really have the means to buy the CDs or the songs off of Napster or anything (and I'm not downloading a music-sharing program because of all the spyware). However, there is a place where you can legally download songs for free, it's ad-supported, but it's a bit of a hassle. Like you can't burn the songs to a CD, it's not compatible with an iPod (it did say it was okay with other mp3 players and phones that support music), but the thing that kind of turned me off the most was that you have to renew your account with it every 30 days. If you don't, all the songs you downloaded will disappear, even the ones you've uploaded to your mp3 player! God help you if you're out of town and don't have access to the Internet. I think every 30 days is too much, maybe like every 90 days would be better. I am tempted to try it, and if I like it, I'll keep up with the renewal, if not then I'll have to find some other way to get songs, because I'm loving all my music on my phone, and I know that it could get better. Especially if I could find all the songs from my YouTube lists, then I could listen to them without coming on the computer. Not that I don't enjoy it, but I do wish I could listen to them when I'm elsewhere.

I still really fancy Tony Reali. The wait for 5:00 on Monday was unbearable! *Sigh* I guess I'll just have to ride it out, but I do enjoy it so. Like I said, he has the exposure advantage over Ben, because I see him at least 5 days a week. Although, with Pittsburgh being in prime-time this week, if Ben has a decent game, and looks sexy like he is so wont to do, than my theory goes up in the air. Even though if Ben has a good game, they'll talk about it on Around the Horn, and I will be very happy all around. No downside, unless Ben has a bad game and the Steelers lose, because that makes it so hard to watch ESPN the following week.

OMG!!! I hate ESPN with the fire of a 1000 suns! They didn't show Around the Horn at all today (Thursday)! Something about Joe Torre quitting the managerial position of the Yankees. Who the hell cares about that?! Okay, I know they probably would have discussed this on ATH, but I'll never know because they didn't show the episode. The worst part is that they cut in at 5:00 on ESPN to talk about it, while they were also talking about it on ESPNEWS, AND they were going to bring it up during Sports Center! Of course, instead of showing ATH on ESPN2, they showed a re-run of a NASCAR countdown show. I know I like racing, but that was a repeat, ATH would have been a new episode. I am so goddamn angry. I mean, I plan dinner around this show. After a day of cleaning, and lesson plans, and other miscellaneous things, I like to sit down, eat, and watch the cute host preside over bickering sports writers. Is that too much to ask for? Jesus Christ, Goddammit! The only Tony fix I got today was that they played "Over/Under" on PTI today. And they ran that show only once. Tch!

I guess that will be it for me this time around. I forgot to mention that Ben's college Miami University (of Ohio) retired his jersey this past weekend, so you know where this is going...

Today, October 9, is my last day of freedom. The 'rents come back around 6:00pm this evening. Ah, it was so good while it lasted. I'll miss it, I love when they go out of town, it's just so peaceful. It's mostly my mother, because when she goes to Alabama by herself, it's still pretty good around here, as well.

4-1 going into the bye week is oh so sweet! It wasn't exactly the Super Bowl XL rematch most people were looking for. Although the Steelers did their part by putting up the 21 points, someone forgot to tell Seattle they were supposed to put up 10, instead we had a SHUT OUT! Yeah, it was so good. The greatest thing is that the Steelers played a dominating game without Troy and Casey on the defense. The offense was great too, the time-of-possession was 40 minutes to 20, advantage Pittsburgh! Ben went 18/22 1 TD 0 INT. Pretty good. I still don't know what happened last week, but I'm glad they were able to learn from it and let it go. I don't know what I'll do next week with the Steelers not playing.

I guess I'll have to see who I'm going to root for in the New England vs. Dallas game. Ugh, could there be a worse match-up? Both of those teams tout some of the most obnoxious fans in the NFL. What's even worse, I don't think, I KNOW there will be analysts who say "We could be looking at a preview of the Super Bowl!" That would be one of the worst games ever. The only Super Bowl match-up that would be worse is Colts vs. Giants. I would drown in the "Manning vs. Manning" over-hype. It's a bit early to say anything about the Giants at the moment, but I'm not sure they'll make the playoffs, let alone the Super Bowl this season. But they could get hot later on, so you never know.

I'm not even sure what to say about the race on Sunday. Tony's still fourth in the standings, but now he's like 156 points back of Jeff Gordon (who won, by the by). He was in such a great position to win, I'm not even sure what happened (I was flipping back and forth between race and a football game), but I think he finished in eighth place. No more fooling around, I need Tony to get really hot, and Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson (ugh) to have engine failures of Dale Earnhardt, Jr. proportions (he had his sixth engine failure of the season on Sunday). I'm just bloody tired of Hendrick Motor Sports; even though it will most likely get worse because Jr. (I like him, though) is going there next season, so he probably tripled their merchandise sales and JGR is going to Toyota and that's a crap-shoot at the moment.

I know I said I wasn't ready to declare anything for Tony Reali or against Ben, but I've got it so bad for Reali. I don't know why. But I'm still not going against Ben, I can't. If I do, I don't feel right. It does border on guilt, even though it's not like I'm abandoning him for another team or anything of that nature. I'm just going to let this play out, although it does make the wait for 5:00 take FOREVER to get here, because I miss Tony. The thing is in reality, I can't have either one of them, so what is there really to feel guilty about? Maybe it's because I feel that anyone else would deter the time I spend devoting to the Steelers (but mostly talking about Ben). Ben is still my boy (my boo, even). As long as he's in the Black and Gold, and doesn't do too many stupid things (on or off the field), I'll defend him until my hands fall off (none of my acquaintances watches football, so there's nothing to waste my voice over).

Speaking of acquaintances, Marcus text-messaged me yesterday at 11:30 when I was cleaning the house. From what he said in his second message, he was bored at work. No mention of what was supposed to happen last month. Whatever. I also forgot to mention that Ashley is back in town, but I e-mailed and said I wouldn't be back until today. Mostly because if something happened to me, and my parents weren't here, I'd be screwed. I may try to see her, but I'm not too sure. I'll really have to see who else is supposed to be coming. Since she's not too well (emotionally, mostly), I know she doesn't want to see Lisa's boyfriend. Let's just hope Lisa can actually do something without him. Speaking of Lisa, she's been blowing up my mobile (which is the greatest thing since I got the memory stick). She finally just left a message saying her daycare was hiring and they needed leaders with experience. Womp-womp. That is so not me. I sent her a text message back basically saying "thanks, but no thanks." I told her that I wasn't a leader, if it weren't for my mother, I would have never even worked in that stupid place. Plus, I can't handle kids; whoever was acting up, I just sent them to my mother. As for the leader thing, she's still thinking back to high school. That was so long ago (that fact is so depressing to me). It's kind of like the Linkin Park song Lying Away From You, you pretend up a person you think everyone wants you to be, and they think that's who you are. I mean, in some respects that was me, but it wasn't who I was totally, and it's barely who I am now. If it was, I might not be complaining so much about how they don't really know me and how I have nothing in common with the people I spent so much time with. Only in rare cases, but high school friends aren't really much, you're young, you think you know everything at the time, and the relationships aren't really based on anything solid. I mean, the reason Lisa and I became friends was because we both liked a certain boy band (and the same member). The next year, she kind of got into wrestling, not as much as I did, then it's been more miss than hit. There's just nothing to talk about anymore, we don't listen to the same music, we don't watch the same shows, I've already stated that nobody I know really watches football (Marcus kind of does, but he's wishy-washy; he has "too many" teams, you only get one). I know those are very shallow things, but it gets so old talking about high school. It's also just getting really old of being the odd one out (numerically and belonging wise).

I'm gonna jet, I'm starting to get hungry. I'm not yet at the point of where I want to start posting photos of Tony, so I'll do one of Ben.

I started this blog Sunday, right after the game, it's taken about a week to flesh out.

OMG! That game was just, ugh. I can't believe we got trounced by the Cardinals. ¡No me gusta! Did they get complacent or something? The worst part is the other Steelers fans. They are calling for Ben's benching. I know Ben made some bad decisions, but who the hell else do they want? Tommy Maddox? Kordell Stewart? They can't accept that Arizona dominated us on both sides of the ball. I mean, they stacked the box and Willie couldn't run at all, but are they calling for Willie to be replaced? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The O-Line was horribly porous, I mean, Ben did half of that stupid stuff because he only had like 2 seconds to try to do anything because he was getting pressured like hell (he was sacked 4 times in the first half). Nate Washington dropped at least two extremely catchable balls (I was in the middle of panic attacks, so there could have been more). Quarterbacks, too much praise for a win, too much blame for a loss. By the by, Ben TD/INT ratio is 8/3. Still better than last season.

Now, Ben is being a bit much. It's no secret that there is no love loss between Ben and our old OC Ken Whisenhut, who is the new Cardinals head coach, but I did notice that before the game, lots of our players were hugging and laughing with Whiz, but someone was mysteriously missing. I also find it ironic that he said that Whiz made the offense predictable (run, run, pass), which is EXACTLY what they did down at the goal line when our defense that got a huge turnover down on like the 4. We couldn't even get a field goal because they PASSED on the third attempt and Ben threw an interception. Goddamn, this loss hurts so much. It also makes watching ESPN really hard. Ben, I more than adore you, but some things you have to let go and not harp on, plus you are in the N.F.L. (Not For Long), the Cardinals suck, it's in their organization's history to do so. I don't know how long Whiz is going to be the HC there, but don't burn all your bridges, baby. Just shut up and play some ball!

The Bungles got smashed on MNF by the Pasterisks (I like that name, but I probably won't use it much). That whole team is just unraveling. The defense was so pathetic, hell, if I had suited up, I could have churned out a couple of first downs for New England (ugh), it was that bad. Then, right before the half, they showed Carson Palmer and Chad Johnson having a lovers' quarrel. Since we lost, that made me feel a bit better. They said on ESPN this morning that after the game, Cincinnati's head coach, Marvin Lewis, could be heard down the hall from the locker room shouting an expletive-filled rant about how no other team acts the way they do and how selfish they are. {Insert evil laughter} In other AFC North news, the Browns beat the Ravens 37-13. Dude, I'm a little scared, sure Pittsburgh beat them down, then they traded the quarterback who started that game and have been on a quiet roll: Put 51 on the Bungles, lost to the Raiders with a blocked last second field goal (their kicker was frozen and had made the first attempt), now they've beaten the Ravens by two touchdowns. We HAVE GOT TO beat those whiny Sea-rattle Sea-chickens on Sunday, just for division supremacy, even though the Browns next opponent is New England. And I would like to go into the bye week with a 4-1 record.

Very serious: Poor Tony (Reali)! His apartment burned down on Sunday night. It was so weird when they said that on Pardon the Interruption on Monday, because all during Around the Horn, I kept saying how tired Tony looked. That is so awful. He's looking a little better now, but I feel so terrible for him. Elliot mentioned it at the end of Friday's episode, he said a fireman who I guess was at the scene said that all that was left of Tony's condo was his plasma screen TV and some books. It's too terrible for words, I mean he lost all his clothes and everything, I'd rather have lost the TV than my clothes.

Not so serious: Poor Tony (Stewart)! NASCAR is out to get him! I heard (from a not so unbiased source *cough*Elliot*cough*) that he could have won Sunday's race and been the new leader in the Cup Standings. I won't lie, I missed ALL of the race, so I didn't know there was a 2 1/2 hour rain delay, with Tony in the lead. This happened with Jeff Gordon a while back ago and they gave him the win, but with Tony, not so much. Instead they finished the race and Tony crashed out. Now he's fourth in the standings, 117 behind that bastard Jimmie Johnson. I know fourth is pretty good seeing how he wrecked, but third place, Clint Bowyer, is like only 14 points behind. Big bloody drop-off.

My parents went to Alabama on Thursday and won't be back until Tuesday. Another one of my step-dad's sisters is ill, one of the ones who was going to come to the party, but she suffered a stroke. She was only one of the two with a legitimate reason for not coming. It's been so nice just kicking around the house by myself. Even though it was so weird, like today (Friday) was trash day, and normally they come really early, like before 8:00 on Fridays. So I had set my alarm for 6:00 this morning, but I didn't sleep at all last night. Maybe an hour to an hour-and-a-half, TOTAL. The penultimate time I looked at the clock, it said 4:35, the next time it said 5:45, so I just turned on Elliot in the Morning and put the trash out during their first commercial break. This marks the second time that I have listened to the whole show in the, I think, 4 years I've been a fan. And the first time was just a few weeks ago when I just found myself awake at like 5:40. The strange thing is that when I turned the show on, Elliot remarked how none of them had slept either. He stayed up all night watching sports, then when he was going to bed at like after midnight, his younger son kept him and his wife up until 2:00 with something called croups(sp?); then he gets up at 3:00. God, that must suck. Diane's daughter wasn't feeling well either last night, and Tyler said he stayed up waiting for his girlfriend to come home from some after-work thing at a bar, and she didn't leave the bar until like 10:30; the insane thing is that he said that she (and her co-workers) had been there until 2:30. Could you imagine just getting hammered for EIGHT HOURS?! That is crazy. I know this is all a big coincidence, but I just found it strange that I couldn't sleep last night, and most of the people on my favorite morning show had bad sleeps as well.

I have a new favorite song! You Can't Stop the Beat from Hairspray. I didn't want to see the movie because I was upset they cast John Travolta over Harvey Fierstein (who originated the role of Edna Turnblad in the Broadway production of the show). Listening to the song, John doesn't sound half bad, but he still creeps me out in that fat-suit and the make-up, oh it just looks disturbing to me. Plus, I'm a Broadway Baby, I love musicals and have a thing about if you're going to make a movie, at least attempt to get some of the actors from the stage. I think the girl who originated Tracy said she was moving on in her career, and that's fine, but as long as they tried, then I'll be pleased. Slightly. I'd probably rather have the Original Broadway Cast Album, but the song just sounds more polished from the movie soundtrack. They also changed the lyrics because of something they changed in the script from the first Hairspray movie, to the show, and back to the movie musical (it's kind of minor, but the bad guys weren't redeemed in the first movie, but they were in the show, but they changed it back to the original way for the second movie). I might give this movie a chance when it comes to DVD, you never know. Although Transformers comes out in a couple of weeks, and that movie was AWESOME!

I have a stalker from Yahoo! Answers. He changes his name every couple of days because he gets booted really soon after he creates a new account. He hates me because I love Ben and the Steelers. He usually just asks stupid and ugly non-questions, but lately he's taken to harassing me by sending me misogynistic and racist e-mails. I wish Yahoo would create an option where you can only be e-mailed by your contacts, that would make the experience so much more pleasant, but they just want to sit on their asses and say "you can change the option of whether or not you want other people to e-mail you." What a bullshit, automated answer! There are a couple of people on there that I like talking to. What the hell ever!

Well, I'm gonna jet. There was more I wanted to say, but I don't feel like typing it, maybe next time. No Ben photo this time, I couldn't find one I like. Here we go, Steelers! BEAT THOSE SEABIRDS!!! They have to, it would be nice just so ESPN can shut the hell up!







I'm phasing.

(Launchcast music break: Guns N' Roses Welcome to the Jungle {Live}) Yeah, I brought this back today, I didn't want to have to keep pressing "play" over and over. (Launchcast music break: My Chemical Romance I Don't Love You)

I guess I'll start off with Steelers' news first; they're 3-0, which is a great place to be. I'm a bit worried about tomorrow's game though, Hines will be out with a knee injury, lots of old Steelers personnel and players are now with the Cardinals' organization at the moment, plus all of my normal jitters that go along with a Steelers football game. Ben has 6 touchdowns to just the one interception, so that's still a good thing. One thing I don't like is that now the media has decided to take notice that they are among the five undefeated teams left in the NFL (the other four being the Pats (ugh), the Colts, the Packers, and the Cowboys). (Launchcast music break: Brandy Have You Ever?; LOVE the song, her, not so much) A couple "experts" have said that we could lose this game (and we could), but the thing I'm sick of hearing is that the Steelers have played a soft schedule. If these idiots would actually take the time to look something up, they would see that the Steelers' opponents wins and losses are combined at 3-6. I know, that's not awesome, but that team that EVERYONE just loves and adores so much, New England, their opponents are 2-7. I know it's just one game difference, but just because it's New England, that little factoid gets swept right under the rug. Tch. It's disgusting.

I know I didn't elaborate on New England's "spy-gate" earlier, but yesterday, I got hit with a brilliant-beyond-brilliant theory behind it. (Launchcast music break: Aerosmith Amazing) Now, their head coach is considered to be a bona fide genius, like he invented the game of football (where was this genius when he was in Cleveland, hm?). But, if he was so smart, why did he get caught, and ADMIT it? Because he wanted that to come out. I know this sounds just about as insane as the "New England won the 2001-2002 Super Bowl because their name is the 'Patriots'" (which I find to be very plausible). Hear me out: this past off-season, EVERYONE was all on New England's nuts (they still are), nobody could find fault with the team. They slobbered even more when it came to New England quarterback because of the acquisition of Randy Moss (and Donte Stallworth and some other receivers, but mostly Moss), just saying how unstoppable they looked; Chargers' fans weren't happy, they must not understand the "Norv Turner Effect." (Launchcast music break: Bon Jovi Bad Medicine) What do you do when no one underestimates you, when you are the clear favorite, nobody is picking against you? You get scandalous. So, this whole "they totally cheat" thing came out, and it had some (very few) doubting all of their achievements: Were they cheating during their Super Bowl runs? etc. Then they came out this season and have just been dominating, so that made most say, "no, they're just that good, they WILL GO 16-0!" Oh, it has been said, more than once, on more than one channel! Not "might", but "will." I just hope they falter down the stretch, because it is just so disgusting how much love they get from the "unbiased" media.

(Launchcast music break: Maroon 5 Sweetest Goodbye; I don't like any of their new songs at all, so I don't want their latest album, which sucks because this one was really good) Now, there is some sad news to attend to: Ashley lost her baby. I feel so bad about her, but I still stand by what I said. Remember how I said she was just giving too much information about the whole thing? I know why, when you're pregnant, there's a certain time where you're not out of the woods to have a miscarriage. When you pass that time (I think it's about like 16 weeks or 4 months, it could be a little less), then you can tell everyone, she told us (and I mean US, she keeps sending out mass e-mails) very early on, like around 6-8 weeks along. I mean, she told lots of people all but what colors she had planned for the nursery. Maybe it's just me, but I just can't tell everybody ALL my business, and "I'm pregnant" is one statement I do not want to have to publicly retract. (Launchcast music break: Boyz II Men End of the Road) I feel a little terrible, just at my selfishness and that she had started to become attached so much, and of course I'm not stupid or insensitive enough to say anything when she comes home (which I think is in a few days, I don't know if she's still coming back at Christmas), I'll just play it by ear.

I got my memory stick, but of course, not paying attention, I bought the wrong antenna. Sure, it fits with the phone, but it's only one ear and not two earbuds. The one I needed is like $15 with $4.99 s&h. *Sigh*, there's another $20, but I need it. I plan on making my phone the ultimate mp3 player since my portable CD player just quit on me last month, still it lasted 6 years and has been through some things, I'll miss it, and this way I won't be going through AA batteries so much, I just have to charge the phone.

Well, that's about it for me, I just have to find a pic of Ben.

(Launchcast music break: Elton John Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word) Okay, it's from the Atlanta game last year (oh how I loathe everything about that game), but it's something about this picture that I can't look away from it. I know exactly what it is, I'm just not ready to admit it out loud, or even to this blog where no one I know (or anyone at all) is reading this. And from something I said in this entry, I shouldn't say it, maybe one day, probably never, but I know what it is, I just don't want to admit it. It will show a side of me I'm not ready to acknowledge yet.

I'm phasing.

Yay! We're 1-0! But everybody is jelly just because we beat the Browns 34-7! We can't help that the Browns are terrible (I have a feeling that if the Bungles had played the Browns, they would all just be slurping on Carson Palmer). Ben had a great day, my boo threw for a career high of FOUR TOUCHDOWNS to, get ready, ZERO INTERCEPTIONS!!! I'm so proud of him. Like I said, people want to take this away from him, but HELLO, he threw INTs against the Browns last year. In fact, he threw three of them in the first half against them at Cleveland, and didn't throw his two touchdowns until the second half. This week we play the Bills. It will kind of be bittersweet; I want the Steelers to win (natch), but my thoughts and prayers go out to Bills' injured TE Kevin Everett. He put a hit on one of the Broncos' players last week, and didn't walk off the field. At first the doctors said that the injury was "catastrophic", then the next day, news came out that he could move his fingers and toes, and now chances are he will walk again. It's such wonderful news! I have a feeling that the Bills will definitely be playing for him. I also get to see the game, so the VCR will be running, and I might just sit downstairs and flip back and forth between that and the race (it gets really hard to watch NASCAR once football season starts).

I sent Marcus a text message last Sunday saying that Thursday would be better for me to go out than Tuesday. He never got back to me, so on Thursday, I went out by myself and did my thing. Unfortunately, I couldn't find a memory stick or an antenna cord for my phone (the girl at the AT&T kiosk looked like she couldn't have cared less), so I just went to Best Buy. I found The Music Man, but I didn't see Funny Face at all. I did spy my favorite version of South Pacific; it's a live, stage version at Carnegie Hall starring Reba McEntire and Brian Stokes Mitchell. It's very stripped down, though, like not in full costume, or sets and props, all the actors read from a script throughout 99% of the show (they do a couple of the songs sans script in hand). It's just really awesome, especially the acting. You don't even need all that other stuff, the actors do such a great job, your imagination just goes with it. When I watched it all the way through (of course I had to watch a couple of my favorite numbers first like I'm Gonna Wash that Man Right Outta My Hair and Honey Bun), I was so into it, I didn't even think about all the things they were missing until Luther Billis (Alec Baldwin) took some flowers from Emile (Mitchell), just because Baldwin mimed taking the flowers. I also bought Fall Out Boy's Infinity on High. I haven't given the whole disc a spin, I'm thinking probably Monday during my workout. I'm kind of disappointed that I didn't go out with Marcus, but I'm not going to lose any sleep over it. Thursday was such a beautiful day, how could I not go out and enjoy it?

I can't believe I didn't mention it sooner, but New England got caught in a cheating scandal! I know I hate them and I should be so happy, but if anything, all the sports networks just talk MORE about them now. I really despise this team. Ugh.

I know this will sound kind of random, but I hate lettuce, it tastes so bad, but it works.

Oh yeah, Ben was EVERYWHERE this week. Pardon the Interruption, NFL's Total Access (stupid &*%$% Comcast), and that show that comes on FSN/CSN called something like Best Sports Show Ever or something of that nature. Of course I was loving it, Ben was the best on the Best Show Ever one. Really, he was funny and very charming. He must feel more comfortable talking to those guys than anyone else. I laughed like a love-sick school girl, it's so wrong.

I'm still crushing on Tony from Around the Horn. I don't know why, but I just really like him for some reason. Since I'm still fresh off the Jack incident, I'm not going to declare anything for him or against Ben, because obviously I'm still absolutely sick over Ben. I'm just saying that I slightly fancy him.

Well, I got to go, I'm getting kind of sleepy, and it's not even that late yet. Good old antihistamines (I'M NOT ADDICTED, OR ANYTHING).