Can This Be Gift Wrapped?
Mood:  amorous
Now Playing: You Tube

(Still rockin' out to Fall Out Boy Thnks Fr Th Mmrs) No offense to Jack Davenport, who is hot as balls, but why on earth did I want to leave this:

OMG!!! What I wouldn't do to him in that backseat. Screw the backseat, what about on TOP of the car? In the rain, as well? That boy doesn't stand a chance. It has ALWAYS been a fantasy of mine; I think that would be so flipping hot! (Changed my mind: Mis-Teeq Scandalous)

I was going to just post the chorus of Scandalous, but he deserves the whole song, this is what he means to me:

So, so, so scandalous
You know you wanna sing with us (baby)
That's why you know you should be scared of us (baby)

Non stop looks to kill
Straight talk sex appeal
One touch gives me chills and we ain't even close yet
Rough neck all around
Ain't been all over town
Show me how you get down
'Cause we ain't even close yet

You got me feening and you got me feeling weak
Listen as I speak 'cause I'm careful as I creep
You got me going crazy and you know I can't sleep
I'm watching your moves and you hypnotize me
You got me trembling like a little baby girl
You're so special, you're like diamonds and pearls
You got me spinning and you got me in a twirl
You're my number one baby and you come to rock my world

You're dangerous
Just get it up
The way you move so scandalous
It's all about the two of us
A one night stand just ain't enough
I need some stimulation, baby
A little conversation, maybe
You got me spinning out like crazy
There goes my baby

Scandalous (baby)
So scandalous (baby)
Scandalous (baby)
So, so, so scandalous

Hot stuff, head to toe
Where you go, no one knows
Cute smile, plenty dough and we ain't even close yet
Solid as a rock
How many ways can you hit the spot?
Show me what you got, 'cause we ain't even close yet

You got me feening and you got me feeling weak
Listen as I speak 'cause I'm careful as I creep
You got me going crazy and you know I can't sleep
I'm watching your moves and you hypnotize me
You got me trembling like a little baby girl
You're so special, you're like diamonds and pearls
You got me spinning and you got me in a twirl
You're my number one baby and you come to rock my world

You're dangerous
Just get it up
The way you move so scandalous
It's all about the two of us
A one night stand just ain't enough
I need some stimulation baby
A little conversation maybe
You got me spinning out like crazy
There goes my baby

Scandalous (baby)
So scandalous
Scandalous (baby)
So, so, so scandalous

A little conversation goes a long, long way
Show a little patience
That you are here to stay
So show me that you're game, oh

You're dangerous
Just get it up
The way you move so scandalous
It's all about the two of us
A one night stand just ain't enough
I need some stimulation baby
A little conversation maybe
You got me spinning out like crazy
There goes my baby

You're dangerous
Just get it up
The way you move so scandalous
It's all about the two of us
A one night stand just ain't enough
I need some stimulation, baby
A little conversation, maybe
You got me spinning out like crazy
There goes my baby

You know you wanna sing with us (baby)
That's why you know you should be scared of us (baby)
You know you wanna sing with us (baby)
That's why you know you should be scared of us (baby) 

I don't understand the Internet, it is one thing for one person to have wrong lyrics, but when everyone else just copies and pastes WITHOUT giving the song a good listen in case of inaccuracies, what is the bloody point? Especially if they make NO sense, whatsoever.

By the by, while I would love to also get Prince's Scandalous with him, it would be too much.

God, he is so hot, I think I might have to purchase this issue of GQ, even if it does have other quarterbacks in it who are NO WHERE near as hot as Ben Roethlisberger. I would ask if FedEx would ship him for my birthday on Sunday, unfortunately he has to be in Pittsburgh for a game against the Eagles. Plus side, it's a national game on Sunday Night Football on NBC, so I'll be able to see him!

I'm phasing and hoping and wishing and thinking and praying.

So Close, Yet So Far
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: You Tube

He is here. HE is here. HE IS HERE! Ben is here, somewhere very close by, and I don’t know exactly where. He could be at the stadium. If he is, he is in Prince George’s county, 10 minutes down the street from where I graduated high school. The thing is I AM NOT THERE WITH HIM!!! This sucks SOOOOOOOOOO much!! According to my mother I should have tried harder with my father, but he was faking from the beginning. He said that he was only going to get one ticket and a parking pass. What am I supposed to do with that? I can’t drive. Tch, whatever, I am not stressing out about it. Even though I got a “Terrible Towel” last year and my “Ben Roethlisberger 7” handbag came by UPS yesterday and I can’t show these things off with my people. I am so sad right now. Sure, he’ll be here again next regular season, but those tickets are even harder to get. Whatever, I don’t care anymore.

On a bright side, Tony Stewart won at Watkins Glen road course last week, winning 3 out of the last 4 races, and has now climbed to the fourth spot in points! WAR TONY STEWART!!! He’s so awesome. Unfortunately, Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson’s crew chiefs were suspended for the past 6 races and come back this week. If anything, I need a DNF from Gordon more than Johnson (although, if he wanted to hit a wall again, that is fine with me); just to close the gap some in the points lead. But Jimmie Johnson’s crew chief has been suspended twice in the past two seasons, which means he’s a total cheater. It’s not fair, but what can I do about fair. Hopefully Smoke turns to fire and captures a third Cup Championship, wishful thinking once again on my part. Tony starts practically in the back in the 35^th spot in tomorrow’s race, so he has his work cut out for him, but he likes to get hot at the right time, remember, it’s not how you start, it’s how you finish, and Tony is great at finishing high.

I also have another problem. It seems that some people take the Internet WAY too seriously. They act like there is a prize for getting the most "Best Answers" in Yahoo Answers. Do you know how many times I felt robbed because I didn't get a best answer? They need to get over it, it's a fucking website where people give their "opinions", rarely facts, and sometimes the Asker picks a best answer, sometimes they let it go to voting. The thing is this guy e-mailed me, saying I was using “voter influence” because the question was “What was the greatest record in sports?” and my answer was “Ben going 13-0 as a rookie starter.” So he TOOK THE TIME to look up my profile and see that most of my contacts on the site are Steelers’ fans and thinks I must have begged them to vote for me. Not even close to being true. I hate talking on the phone to people I actually know in real life, I’m not going to beg practically total strangers for something as petty as that. I did point out that if it were all about being a Steelers fan, then the Asker would have given me “Best Answer” anyway because he is one and he’s in my contact list. Then I told him that it is just a site on the Internet and he shouldn’t take it so seriously because it is not a life altering thing getting a “Best Answer.” Truth be told, I am cheating at it, I have 3 different accounts, but I’m still not begging other people. I did point out that I only got 3 votes (nobody voted for him, so he must have been jelly*) and I have more than 3 contacts and that if he’s so pressed about it, he could e-mail my contacts and ask if I do that. I have gotten a good portion of my “Best Answers” from going back and voting on them because, most of the time, people always go back and vote for their own answer anyway. And someone else could have gone to their contacts and said “Hey, vote for my answer so I can get 10 points.” You know what? I don’t fault them for that, I told all of my associates about the website and as far as I know, they haven’t signed up for it. If they had, and let me know about it, I would probably do the same thing. Then again, I might have only given them the name of one of my lesser known accounts so I could continue with the main account without having them know it was me. He needs to get a life in the worst way, he sounds like those WOW guys that were jelly of Leeroy Jenkins (so funny). I can't remember who said it, but I remember the quote, "complaining on the Internet has replaced baseball as America's past time." Too true.

I didn’t feel like fooling with the Launchcast today, you can’t repeat like you can with You Tube and since it’s been ages I’ve been on there, it has loads of weird music I haven’t rated yet and it takes too long to weed through. Like with You Tube, I FINALLY found out who sings the other version of All I Want for Christmas Is You, that they played on the soft rock station EVERY year at Christmas, but NEVER said what her name was, some chick named Lisa Lane. Right now I’ve got Fall Out Fever and am treating it by listening to Thks Fr Th Mmrs (Thanks for the Memories) every 3 minutes and 22 seconds. I LOVE this song, the dance remix isn’t half bad, either. This was one of the CDs I was contemplating getting when I ended up buying the My Chemical Romance one. Not complaining though, Welcome to the Black Parade is a solid album.

That’s enough of me enjoying America’s new past time; I have to go sulk until the game starts tonight. GO STEELERS!!! I can’t wait for the regular season to start though, I’m so nervous about it, what if we lose every single game and the Browns have really improved and other stuff that will eat at me until the games are over? I just have to remember to take it one game at a time.

Before I go…

This is totally how I felt. I finished the reread and I have to say it was better the second time around. I’m still disappointed with the epilogue, but it wasn’t that bad.

There is just nothing else to say.

I'm phasing.

Now What?
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: Launchcast Music Player

Wow, it feels like it’s really over. No more Harry Potter books. Well, that’s not totally true, J.K. Rowling said she would probably come out with an encyclopedia-type book; something that tells us what happened to ALL the characters that were left out of the epilogue, which was everyone except the main trio and some of the Weasleys. (Launchcast music break: Britney Spears Baby One More Time, oh hell yeah, these are back! Launchcast didn’t want to work when I first tried it again on this new computer, but it’s being nice today.) I’m not too sure how I feel, it was a decent story, but I don’t know. I felt it was predictable, but was it predictable because I feel like she didn’t try to do the shocking turn of a character being bad that you thought was good all this time; or was it because I (with the help of the fan sites) figured out everything with the help of all her clues and two plus two really equaled four. I really wanted this total swerve that I didn’t see coming, not saying that I figured out EVERYTHING before I opened the book, but lots of things like R.A.B. was Regulus and that Kreacher was the one who helped him get the locket horcrux from the lake and that she killed a Weasley twin, I just knew she would. (Launchcast music break: Train Drops of Jupiter) There were also some other things that people had figured out, but I just didn’t want to believe, like Harry being a horcrux. Come on, I know you’re not supposed to take a character’s word to be the gospel truth, but I would believe that it does take an immensely complicated spell to make one, but Voldemort accidently made Harry a horcrux. I’m a bit disappointed in that. (Launchcast music break: Guns N’ Roses Nightrain {Live}) I’m doing my reread at the moment; it took me over a week to digest and discuss the book before I could pick it up and read it again. I never got around to finishing that list “True and False” things for the book. I filled out as much of it as I could then kind of forgot in my excitement over the book. (Launchcast music break: Maroon 5 This Love)

(Launchcast music break: Jordan Knight Give It to You) Tony Stewart! OMG, I can’t say enough things about him, he won AGAIN, making it two times in a row (they were off last weekend, not complaining, I had a book to keep me company), plus he is only the third driver to have multiple wins at Indianapolis Motor Speedway! That’s right; he won in his backyard, twice out of the past three times at the Brickyard. He was so happy, I was so happy; it was such a great day. Also, Jimmie Johnson hit a wall, AGAIN, two races in a row. In the past two racing weeks, he’s dropped from 5^th to 9^th in the standings. This time, his car caught on fire and singed his eyelashes. It wasn’t as funny as it was unbelievable this time. Dude that is WEIRD, Tony winning twice in a row, Jimmy Johnson DNFs twice in a row; this also means that Tony has moved up from 7^th to 5^th in the Chase standings in the past two racing weeks. We’re nearing the end of the normal season and heading to the Chase, and Smoke is getting HOT! (Launchcast music break: Bon Jovi Lay Your Hands on Me)

 

You deserve it, Smoke!

YAY for Steelers training camp! Oh so many photos, he’s so hot in more ways then one. I tell you, if this was a real relationship or something, Ben would have totally gone up to Jack and said, “I wasn’t worried, she always comes back. ALWAYS.” I adore him so, it must be insanity, I’ve actually missed him; that’s being taken care of though, the remedy is back in stock. (Lay your hands on me, baby! I'm still rocking out to Bon Jovi. It's getting bad again, but I love it, and him)

 

Oh, that makes me cock my head to the left, smile a silly grin, and sigh!Well, that’ll be all for me, I just wanted to update about the book and of course Tony Stewart’s second win at the Brickyard and of the season. (Launchcast music break: Nelly/Kelly Rowland Dilemma; Wow, this is so appropriate, luv ya Ben!)

I’m phasing.

Hit Me, Baby, One More Time
Mood:  rushed
Now Playing: The Music Man- Sadder, But Wiser Girl

This title was something that came to me last night (or a few nights ago, whatever). It was just a couple of other things that are going on, and I forgot to put them in the previous entry.

Ashley is PREGNANT!!! She has just thrown away the rest of her twenties. This sucks so much, the one person that I actually don’t mind going out with (especially since she lives so far away and only comes home once or twice a year) is now going to be saddled down with a kid. I know I’m being selfish, but goddamn it, this isn’t fair. Now, more than EVER, I guess I need to find a new friend.

Another thing about Ashley, she was the only friend I had that read the Harry Potter books. Speaking of which, the seventh and last book is due to come out on Saturday. I’m really excited, yet kind of sad about it. I mean, on one hand we’ll finally have all the answers; on the other hand, it’s over. There will be nothing Harry Potter related to really eagerly await. Sure there are the films, but since you’ve read the book, you already know what’s going to happen. Some guy got his book TODAY! He is so lucky. Why didn't that happen to me? I wouldn’t even go on the Internet and spoil people. Okay, maybe a bit, but nothing major.

I cannot wait for Saturday; it’s taking forever to get here. I’m totally going to shut my phone off (at least put it on vibrate), close my door, and not do anything but try to visually inhale that book. Like the major dork I am, I downloaded and printed this list of like 101 statements that you have to select “True” or “False” about what will happen in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I’m going to try to start it tomorrow and finish it by Friday.

In non-dork related chat, TRAINING CAMP STARTS NEXT MONDAY!!! Ah, finally, football season is returning. And the love may be all around once again. Ben has been training harder than ever, I believe he’s been in the film room studying and hopefully seeing where he can improve his mechanics. He was known (thought) to be a bit of a slacker and gets bitten by the lazy bug (who doesn’t). We see where that got us 8-8, and one more win and we could have gone back to the playoffs. Ben better be ready to drop jaws this season, I’ve been talking him up quite a bit, mostly on Yahoo Answers. I know he doesn’t want to use the excuses of the accident, appendicitis, and a second concussion four months after the accident, but they account whether he wants to admit it or not. The thing is you have all of these bitter, hating morons that say he’s totally overrated. Whatever. You know who’s overrated? Vince Young. While I quite like him, it’s just not fair some of the praise he’s received. He’s being put up on a pedestal while Ben is just a product of the system.

All of these things I love can’t come soon enough, but we all know it’s all about “antici—pation.”

No photos this time, I have envelopes to print.

I’m phasing.

It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over
Mood:  cheeky
Now Playing: Lenny Kravitz- It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over

Here we are still together
We are one
So much time wasted
Playing games with love

So many tears I've cried
So much pain inside
But baby It ain't over 'til it's over
So many years we've tried
To keep our love alive
But baby it ain't over 'til it's over

How many times
Did we give up
But we always worked things out
And all my doubts and fears
Kept me wondering, yeah
If I'd always, always be in love

So many tears I've cried
So much pain inside
But baby It ain't over 'til it's over
So many years we've tried
And kept our love alive
'Cause baby it ain't over 'til it's over

So many tears I've cried
So much pain inside
Baby It ain't over 'til it's over
So many years we've tried
And kept our love alive
'Cause baby it ain't over 'til it's over

So many tears I've cried
So much pain inside
Baby It ain't over 'til it's over
So many years we've tried
And kept our love alive
'Cause baby it ain't over 'til it's over
Over, over, over.

So many tears I've cried
So much pain inside
But baby It ain't over 'til it's over
So many years we've tried
To kept our love alive
'Cause baby it ain't over 'til it's over
Over, over, over

So many tears I've cried
So much pain inside
Baby It ain't over 'til it's over

Okay, so maybe I jumped the gun a little. It's probably from just not seeing him for so long, but I have come to realize that I still might fancy Mr. Roethlisberger, slightly. It happened the other day when I was watching ESPNEWS; I was minding my own business when all of a sudden Ben popped up. He was on the red carpet at the ESPY Awards, ESPN's really stupid award show. I mean, why would I watch if you tell me who wins ahead of time. Except last year when the Steelers won in most of the categories. Then Ben's appearance was supposed to be a surprise, but ESPN doesn't even try to keep it a secret, they gave it away on Sports Center or Cold Pizza I can't remember which one. Any road, he looks better than ever, and the title of the song (as well as this entry) that's playing is SO APPROPRIATE! Because, baby it ain't over 'til it's over! That's why I've been feeling so guilty about supposedly falling out of love (lust?) with him; I wasn't out of it yet.

So where does that leave me with Jack Davenport? Well, I still think he's really gorgeous, but I only really have him as Admiral James Norrington in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. Maybe I'll post photos of both of them, even though I've made my choice. Ah, this still sucks for him; it seems he never gets the girl.

I'm so glad that party is over, it was insane. I feel so sad for my step-dad, NOBODY from his family showed up for his party. Just saying "SHAME" just isn't bad enough, because that was really cruddy.

My brother didn't get on my nerves that badly this time. I think he was happier to be up here then when we go down there. I completely understand, because down there sucks.  His ex-girlfriend on the other hand is something else. She said that I need to come back to Alabama and stay for like a month. Yeah right, I'd be ready to go in about 2 days; just enough time for me to sleep of the jet-lag and be ready to head home. My mother was ready to kill her, because she's a total idiot. My nephew is a spoiled brat and they don't discipline him AT ALL! As soon as they got here, he kept running up and down the stairs, and they didn't yell at him to stop! Finally he fell down and hurt his pride more than his face and he wised up. Then, at the party, he ran around the whole time and I just wanted to beat him so bad. After the party, some how I pulled a muscle in my back, but I knew that I still had to drag them to the zoo. The next morning we had a breakfast held at a buffet place for us and some of the party attendants. My nephew, that bad little boy didn't eat anything. Now I understand that some people have picky eating habits, but this child has basically TOLD his parents he doesn't eat anything but specific frozen chicken nuggets (but he'll eat like McDonald's or Burger King's) and specific frozen pizza rolls (but he'll eat like two slices of plain Papa John's pizza). So they're up there BRIBING him to eat something by getting him M&M's, gummy bears, and a Rice Krispie Treat. Meanwhile, my cousin Stephanie's (who had 5 boys and is about 95 pounds soaking wet, yeah I'm jelly) youngest son (like 15 months old) was punishing his mother's omelet. Stephanie got up to do something, and he pulled it over to himself and just attacked it. It was hilarious! Then my brother's ex-girlfriend pointed out to her son that a baby was eating an omelet and they were bribing him with junk that any kid would kill to eat for breakfast. My mother wanted to kill her. My mum told her it was her (brother's ex-girlfriend) fault that he was like that. Then she (my brother's ex-girlfriend) tried to defend herself by saying that it wasn't her fault and he'd had his tonsils taken out (like over a year ago). I had to pat my mother on the hand and say that Golden Corral wasn't the appropriate place for this conversation. It was quite nice to see my mother angry with someone that wasn't me or my step-dad for a change.

Now where my back comes into play is that my nephew was being really evil that morning, I threatened him that I didn't have to take him to the zoo and I would be just as happy to go home and take a nap. Then my brother's ex-girlfriend said that I couldn't do that because they had promised him the trip and he had been looking forward to it. He is four years old, about to be five. It's high time he learned that you don't always get what you want in life and that everything has a consequence. Also his mother talks incessantly and never shuts up. Other than her talking and being at the mercy of someone barely out of diapers, she would be all right. I mean, she likes all that 80s music that I like, but I couldn't stay with them for a month; I'd pull my hair out.

Now for my nephew, the thing is he's a total sweetheart, and he's not really mean, he's just spoiled and NOBODY disciplines him back where he lives. He got worse when my brother's ex-girlfriend moved out of their apartment and back in with her parents. I don't know too much about her father, but her mother let him get away with everything. I mean, at the party, he had something (I can't remember if it was a cup or a noisemaker) and when he was done with it he just threw it on the ground. I told him off real quick. He did the same thing at our house and his mother said something like this isn't our dirty house and you just can't throw stuff on the ground. Now I know when a person doesn't have children, they say all this stuff they will and won't do, but I would at least try to instill some decency and common manners in my children. My parents think one summer with us will straighten him out. And it probably would, the only problem is he has to go home where he'll tell them what he won't damn do and if he stayed with us once a year (like every summer or something) we'd have to keep de-programming him until he caught on that he could act one way with us and one way with his parents and maternal grandparents. He would because he's not stupid; he'd catch on within a couple of years.

It was sad when my brother left, he cried because he missed up here so much. We all deduced after they left that if it weren't for his son, he would have stayed and he'd be crashing on our couch at this moment. The reason I keep doing the "ex-girlfriend" thing with the line through "ex" is because technically she is his ex-girlfriend (they broke up when she moved out), but she kept expecting my brother to ask her to move back in. HA! But she's a conniving little thing, she used their son to say stuff like "I miss my room", and she kept leaving little stuff when she'd bring my nephew over there, and eventually she never went back to her parents house. So she's really not his girlfriend again. I have no idea why she's pressed over him, but whatever. I know he's my brother, but he's not the most stand-up guy on earth, dating wise, he's actually a decent father; except his son doesn't listen to him.

WAR TONY STEWART! He got his first win (finally) of the season, the USG Sheetrock 400 in Chicago. It also didn't hurt that Jimmie Johnson hit a wall with 45 laps to go, while he was in second place behind Tony! It was a good day!

Well, I've got to get going, Elliot comes back tomorrow morning after being off since July 3^rd. He should be in a chipper mood seeing as our favorite driver won the race and our least favorite hit a wall. But before I go...

WAR TONY STEWART!!!

Jack is still so sexy!

The other title I had for this entry was the Beatle's Hello, Goodbye. Hello, hello. I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello. Dammit, he's still sexy!

I'm phasing.

How Can There Be Any
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: YouTube

I still fancy Jack Davenport. What can I say; he’s so sexy and has the most gorgeous green eyes. Yet, for some reason, I still feel incredibly guilty about not fancying Ben anymore. I don’t know why. It is the strangest thing, though. I look at all those pictures that drove me crazy for almost four years, and nothing. It’s just like looking at some guy. It feels like the My Chemical Romance song I Don’t Love You and the lyrics that go: “When you go, would you even turn (have the guts) to say I don’t love you like I loved you yesterday?” It’s so sad. But I haven’t really seen anything from Ben on TV, so, like I said last time, the REAL test is in August, or when training camp starts. Which I’ve just realized is in a few weeks!

I got a new computer, the jury’s still out, as it does weird stuff that I can’t control, but it beats looking at the wall.

Man, I can’t wait until Friday. That’s the day of my step-dad’s surprise birthday party. While I am excited, I’m more anxious to get it over with more than anything. It’s so hard to keep it a surprise and hide all the decorations and stuff. The only thing I’m disappointed in is the turn out from his family. The thing is we TOLD these people in JANUARY that we were having this. They are acting like we JUST sprung it on them a couple weeks ago. Now two of his sisters have legitimate excuses, but the rest of them? SHAME!!! Especially his brother that lives up here; they were the first people to get an invitation, and they were due back by May 15. So why did it show up on, like, May 30. That is two weeks past the deadline. But they live like 20-30 minutes away (traffic gets really bad in that area, especially in the evenings going their direction), it is just so pathetic. His children are BARELY making it up here, my mother is paying for their hotel stay, but their aunts are trying to get together some gas money. Still, we have a lot of people attending, around the 70 mark, including the caterer and DJ. I can’t help think that with all the money my parents have spent, not only could we have gone on holiday; we could have gone out the country. Maybe we could try England, perhaps?

My brother is coming up on the 4^th and he and his family are staying with us; {sarcasm}this should be fun{/sarcasm}. I just looked up the entry from when I went to Alabama, and it is stated that “{My brother} was cool for like a day and a half, then he became the biggest bitch in the world.” He gets really fussy when our mother doesn’t pay attention to him. What are some of the few good things about this time around? I’ll be at home, so if he pisses me off, I can yell at him to not touch my new computer, I can go in MY room, turn on my stereo/TV/DVD/VCR and be alone, and they’ll only be here for like 4 days/4 nights (arrive late Wednesday afternoon and leave Sunday)! We will be so tired from doing the party and he’ll be so tired from traveling, HOPEFULLY (knocks on wood) he won’t have his PMS mood swings as he is so wont to do. My mother also informed me that I have to take his ex-girlfriend and my nephew to the zoo on one of those days. {sarcasm}Oh joy, oh rapture.{/sarcasm} If all my step-dad’s cousins, nephews, and nieces were coming, I was supposed to take them to Lucky Strike. Why my mother would want to get me kicked out of my favorite place because of those country ass people, I’ll never know. She must secretly hate me. But I’m going to the zoo because my brother’s ex-girlfriend tried to go to some zoo in Florida, and it costs $75 to get in. OMG! The zoo is supposed to be FREE!!! That or for $75, that better be the best damn zoo, EVER!!! Like all their merchandise is free or something, and they feed you, and let you touch the docile animals that won’t rip your arm off. And you get the hot zookeepers phone numbers. I mean, when I went to the zoo 5 years ago with Patrick, we just walked on in and did our thing. You might have to pay if their doing some special event with those lame, dirty ass pandas or something, but the zoo is usually no cost. In fact, my mother HATES zoos because when she was younger, that’s all they could do was go there because it was free (and not segregated).

Other than cleaning the house for our pending guests, the only thing I’ve been doing is haunting the IMDB message boards, listening to music from You Tube, and collecting photos of Jack (natch). I’ve gotten over my addiction to Yahoo Answers because I get so sick of answering the SAME question over and over again. It’s always “Who’s better: New England Quarterback or Peyton Manning?” “Who do you think will win Super Bowl XLII?” “Who is your favorite team/player?” It just gets really old after you’ve answered them 800 times. When I’m on IMDB, I’m mostly talking about Commodore/Admiral James Norrington (♥). On You Tube, I’m usually listening to songs from musicals, such as Skid Row (Downtown) from Little Shop of Horrors and EVERY song from The Music Man (my favorite “old is new” movie). I can’t get enough, I’ve even gone back and revamped my old You Tube playlist. Some songs get deleted because of copyright infringement or something really lame like that. And lovely Jack Davenport has a website, with a similar set up like Ben’s, which I can nick photos from. Some of them are so flipping hot, too. Like the one where he has the cigarette in his mouth with the red background; so very sexy.

 

 

I know, it’s not the best looking photo of him, but check out those eyes. They kind of make me weak.

One of the bad things about this new computer is that it doesn’t have a Floppy Disc drive, so I can’t even upload all the photos of Ben, but now I don’t even know if I should continue putting up Ben photos or only Jack photos. I feel so confused and guilty. Will this feeling EVER go away?

I’m phasing.

Oh, Dear. We Are In Trouble...
Mood:  amorous
The title says it all. It has happened, and I didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did. I may be falling out of love with a certain quarterback, maybe not though. I’m probably going to see the Steelers in August again, and we’ll have to see what comes of that, but this isn’t good. First of all, Ben is a lying bastard, because he totally has a girlfriend. The scary thing is, I don’t really care. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a Steelers’ fan, and love my Black & Gold (not the Saints, their stupid, BANDWAGON fans are getting on my nerves), but I’m not getting the heart beats faster thing about Ben anymore like I used to. Ironically, it comes when I finally find a website that has like a thousand photos of him, and I might not have a need for it anymore. Another strange thing is that this is what I wanted; I’ve just realized that today is the one-year anniversary of the incident that happened last year. I said that I didn’t want to hear from him at all until training camp. The old “no news is good news” cliche is what I was going on. Only now, I’ve found something (someone) else to fill the void. And it’s getting bad, real bad.

I now have to tell what, or should I say, who happened. It all starts on the day that Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End came out in theaters. Me, being obsessed and a little miffed that I missed Spider-Man 3’s initial release, I ran out to see it that day. I caught like the 12:30 showing. Mini review: It was better than the second one, but nothing tops the first. I didn’t like the way they treated the whole Tia Dalma/Calypso release, and they scene with Jack Sparrow in Davy Jones’ locker with all his hallucinations ran WAY too long. Then there were the deaths, OMG, there were so many and a few of them were just too sad for words. The three saddest, in order of increasing sadness, were the boy at the beginning (the East India Company were hanging all the people they thought were pirates, or were being sympathetic towards pirates, or broke any of the laws and freedoms they had taken away for the time being such as freedom to assembly, stuff like that) who I thought was going to escape and he started singing the beautiful, yet haunting song that was like a call to arms for all pirates. The next terrible death was Gov. Swann, Elizabeth’s father. It was so sad, the EIC just killed him quietly because he asked too many questions and they felt he was no longer valuable to them. When Elizabeth was escaping from Davy Jones’ locker, she saw her father in a little rowboat and it meant that he was dead, and it was just a gut-wrenching scene to watch. But, the absolute worst death was that of Admiral James Norrington. Dude, you have no idea how much it pissed me off. Especially since he died saving Elizabeth, and “Bootstrap” Bill harpoons him. It was just messed up. Elizabeth thought that since he’d given his loyalties to the EIC, he had something to do with her father’s death, but he had no idea. Norrington did say he had nothing to do with her father's death, but it does not absolve him of his other sins. Then when he was breaking her and the Chinese pirates out of the brig, Elizabeth tries to get Norrington to come with them. He says he will, but she knows he’s lying, and then he says one of the sweetest lines to her, “Our fates were always intertwined, Elizabeth, but never joined.” Then, when she’s leaving the ship, a deranged Bootstrap discovers they’re escaping. To save Elizabeth, because she started to climb back when she sees they’ve been found out, Norrington cuts her escape line so she can’t come back to him. Davy Jones saw that the Admiral was dying, then asks if he fears death. Norrington defiantly stabs him with his sword, and Jones says “I’ll take that as a no. Nice sword.” Then James Norrington dies, and I was really sad. He died at the moment of his redemption, and his was the only really interesting character that just didn’t get enough screen time. And ever since seeing the third one, I’ve done little but watch the first two and I really noticed how much Norrington loved Elizabeth. In the first one he lets her go to be with Will, then in the second one when they meet back up, when their on the island that Davy Jones kept the chest, when Will shows back up, you can totally see the hurt and disappointment on Norrington’s face.

If you haven’t gotten it yet, I believe I now fancy the man who portrays James Norrington in all these movies, one Mr. Jack Davenport. It is getting so bad, when I watch the first two Pirates movies, I only watch his parts or I’ll put the first one in and listen to the audio commentary with him and Keira Knightley, which I watched ages ago and was surprised at how funny both of them were.

I feel a bit guilty, I’ll get over it though, I always do. It’s just that this time, going on four years, I thought it would last a bit longer. Don’t be shocked if Ben gets engaged or something after this upcoming season.

Nothing lasts forever, even cold, November rain.

Son of a bitch, this is that "Superman" photo I had been trying to upload FOREVER! Is this thing trying to tell me that ALL I had to do was rename it? Whatever.

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.

The messy hair is so cute.

I'm phasing.

About Four Days Worth of Whining
Mood:  down
Now Playing: My Chemical Romance- I Don't Love You
Lost is so goddamn AWESOME!!! It had me totally dumbfounded. At the end of the episode, my jaw was on the ground! I just can’t believe it, it truly is the best show EVER!!! I will be so lost (no pun intended, really) when it ends for the season. Ben (I know, of all the male names, why that one, right?) is nuts, at first you felt sorry for him because his dad was a total dick to him and blamed him for his mother dying. True, it’s not unheard of that when a mother dies in childbirth, sometimes the father will actually hold a grudge against the kid, instead of being thankful that the baby didn’t die as well; but who the hell takes their SEVEN-MONTH PREGNANT WIFE HIKING?! That was more his fault that his wife went into premature labor then Ben’s. But when you see that Ben was responsible for the deaths of all the Dharma people, AND that he shot Locke, you get over feeling bad for him. We also found out his father was Roger, which was the skeleton Hurley, Jin, and Charlie found in that VW van, and that made me LOL. OMG, if Locke is really dead, I will seriously consider not watching this show anymore, until next season. The whole Jacob thing was so creepy, I’m not sure what to think of it. Next Wednesday is going to be so good. I’m so happy the season finale is two hours long.

I bought the My Chemical Romance CD last week, and I really like it. I actually gave the entire disc a listen and to my pleasant surprise I ended up LOVING some of the songs. Besides the singles like the title track Welcome to the Black Parade, Famous Last Words and their new single, that I haven’t heard on the radio yet, but it’s in the music library in On Demand I Don’t Love You (which is beautiful), I like the first two tracks, which is really one song split in two The End/Dead, Teenagers, and the hidden track Blood. The only thing I don’t like about Blood is that the first 90 seconds of the song is complete silence, very inappropriate. But I can usually just listen to the whole thing without interruption.

The big news in NASCAR is that Dale Earnhardt, Jr. is leaving DEI. It’s not surprising, but then again it makes you wonder how will there be a Dale Earnhardt, Inc. without a Dale Earnhardt? While I would love to see him come to Joe Gibbs Racing, I see him going to Richard Childress Racing. Just as long as he does not go to Hendrick, that would seriously blow me. The only thing is that lots of people are saying that Jr. will totally go to RCR and race in the #3, but I’ve always said that he wouldn’t do that. He’s already his father’s namesake, why would he want more pressure to be in that car? It would just put more expectancy on his shoulders to win or drive as well as his father. That’s one hell of a shadow he’s in already, and Jr. doesn’t need that. He’s even come out and said, a couple of times, that his father is what made that number what it is. Too bad the teams own the numbers, he’s awesome with the #8.

God, it’s Saturday, May 12, and I started this thing on Wednesday night, but I didn’t really have anything to flesh it out. I’m waiting for the race to start. It’s been rain delayed, again, but this time they swore they are going racing on a Saturday night. The same thing happened last weekend when they came to Richmond, but they had to wait until last Sunday to race. They really can’t do it tomorrow since it’s Mother’s Day and all (ugh) and they usually don’t race on that day. This week they’re in Darlington, South Carolina. With all this bleeding rain on the east coast, I’m thinking they should move the night races to the Central Time Zone.

I totally nailed it in my March 12th entry. I finally got 7 days worth of television, this being the last week because at least two of my shows (Ugly Bettyand Law & Order) have their season finales this week. But what I kind of got right is that it’s been a couple of frustrating weeks for me, even right now I think my mother is upset (if you notice the pattern, she gets like this right before we have to give her stuff: birthdays, tomorrow, Christmas; what’s that all about?), maybe not at me, but she and my step-dad were having a loud conversation earlier and the only things I caught was something like “what’s done is done” and “I’m gone.” I don’t get it either. Earlier, they kind of got on my nerves when they wanted information about Cold Stone (which is like the Krispy Kreme of ice cream/milkshakes). They wanted to know what time it opened tomorrow. So I checked the website and it said, “store hours unavailable.” I go and tell them that, then they tell me to call, and I really hate doing stuff like that, I don’t like phones at all, which past entries have shown. Then I asked what time they planned on going, and they get an attitude and say, “just call.” Tch. So they open at 11, and she points to him. WTF? I guess my point and attitude were about that we’re supposed to go to church with my grandparents tomorrow (which is going to be torture enough), and the service they attend doesn’t start until around 11, and is going to end somewhere around 1. Man this is going to suck. If anything, they should have made me ask what time it closes (hey, I work with what I was given, I know I should have asked, but that’s not what they wanted). Unless we’re going to blow off church, I don’t see what the point of that is. I also hate the way my step-dad barges in my room and asks trivial things like this like it is life or death. Furseriously, he opened my door and says, “HAVE YOU HEARD OF SOMETHING LIKE ‘STONES COLD’?! He can knock and he can use a civilized voice when asking questions. This was just today, but he does it when like when he wants to buy her some clothes, he’ll come in and ask (yell) about what size she wears, or what she wants on her hot dogs/hamburgers, stuff like that. She yo-yos on the sizes, but they’ve been married for 10 years, he should KNOW what condiments she likes on her foods by now.

Oh, NOW it’s raining here. Like I said, it’s raining in South Carolina, and it’s raining in Philadelphia (I was made to watch the end of the Phillies/Cubs game, and it was rain delayed as well, then it started raining in the 9th inning.), now it’s raining here, we must be getting it from the north since we’re closer to Philadelphia then Darlington.

Tch, now they’re showing Cops. I wouldn’t mind if they raced tomorrow, but now I’m not sure if I’d be home, so I prefer it to be tonight. This really sucks!

Uh, in Steelers news, our disgruntled guard, Alan Faneca, wants to be gone after this season. He wants a contract that some of the other O-linesmen are getting (this one dude got $49 mil/7 years for the Vikings, I believe). The only thing is that he’s becoming a pain in the ass. This is the same guy who bitched about Russ Grimm or Ken Whisenhut not getting the head coach job. He also said that he wasn’t happy about blocking for some “kid {quarterback} out of college” in the 2004 season. Hey Alan, how did that work out? Some guy on the Steelers message board said to make him play this season, franchise him next season, then trade him to the Raiders. Ouch! Even though he made that comment about Ben, I’ve been okay with Alan, but if he wants to go, then just let him go. We can’t cut him, because that will be a huge cap hit; most people said they should have traded him before, if not on, draft day (by the by, Brady Quinn fell to the 22nd pick, only because the Browns traded up to get him, I hope he has a miserable career there and look forward to kicking his ass twice a season), so we could have gotten something for him. This will be an interesting season to say the least.

I really hate New England. I hope their acquisition that is Randy Moss is the proverbial straw that will break the camel’s back. Knowing my luck, not so much. Why can’t this team just go a way?!

They just cut in and said that the race will be tomorrow at 1. Jesus Christ, Goddamn it! This really sucks so badly. The only thing is that they probably still have to do all that pre-race stuff, and that usually takes up about 45 minutes to an hour, so I could still make it; unless Cold Stone gets put into play. Tch. I know this sounds horrible, but I wish that tomorrow weren’t Mother’s Day. It’s just really inconvenient this year.

All right, I guess now I have to take a shower or something to kill some time before Vicar of Dibley comes on, but before I go…

I want to fly in this plane, that thing is too awesome for words.

If I can get $36,000 at this moment, I can have Ben’s Denali (Herc not included). LOL, I don’t want the car (I can’t drive, so what would I do with it?), I’d settle for the driver. Why is he looking like that?

I’m phasing.

P.S. I know that there are times when I say I’ll post stuff up here at a later date, but never get around to it, usually more interesting stuff happens and the entry is very long-winded at that point. Unfortunately, I probably won’t ever post drunken photos of myself because I NEVER received them (it’s May already, for Christ’s sake), and since there is such drama between Ashley/Phil/and his girlfriend, I’m not going to ask. I only liked them when I was drunk anyway, sober, probably not so much.

I know this is totally random, but...
Mood:  irritated
I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT GODDAMN AMERICAN IDOL!!! IT'S A KARAOKE CONTEST! I'm never going to buy these albums, and neither is she. And this time next year, she'll barely remember or give a goddamn about any of these people.

Sorry, I had to get it off my chest. I understand that she's been orally violated at the dentist's office, and she had to sit in traffic for 2 1/2 hours, but if you're short with someone and expect them to do shit for you, you need to fuck off. Or apologize and come correct.

I'm phasing and totally pissed off.

P.S. Our throwback uniforms, they're going to have white pants with them. I'm not too sure about that...

I Don't Know Where I'm Going, I Barely Know Where I've Been
Mood:  not sure
This is going to be a weird entry. I've wanted to update many times before, but my computer finally kicked the bucket. It'll turn on, but the desktop page looks all weird (safe-mode) and the cursor for the mouse won't show up, and you can't do much without that. Currently I'm on my mother's laptop, it's pretty cool, except it's an Apple (Mac), and some of the stuff is weird, but it can do WAY more stuff than that big P.O.S. ever could. The good news is that soon we'll HAVE to get a new computer because this laptop is property of the school county she works for, plus computers nowadays are only around $350-$400. That's not too shabby.

Some weeks ago, I hated my mother because she was a total hag. She said something that basically had me contemplating suicide, but I don't want to get too much into that. She's stressed because she's throwing my step-dad a 60th birthday party (surprise for now), and she keeps letting all the little things get to her. First it was the guest list, half the people she wanted to invite, and she didn't have their addresses. Not my fault that every time she gets a new address book, she won't fill it in. She spends every weekend in bed, then on Sunday night she wonder where the time has gone. (WTF?) Now, my step-dad's sister-in-law (we've known her and her husband (step-dad's brother) longer than my step-dad) is graduating from college or ministry school (something I don't care that much about) and she booked the same hall for her reception as we did my step-dad’s party, and that has sent her over the edge. Yes, my aunt sweats my mother, she always wants to be in charge, but my mother needs to let it go. She now wants to take my step-dad on some lunch cruise (the same one I went to for my prom) on the same day, just so they can be busy. I don’t know why my mother wants to be petty just because my aunt is. I see a lot of Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet, LOL) in my mother. She thinks she’s better than she really is; wants to set the standard or an example for everyone else, but hates it when someone copies her. I guess you could say that about tons of people, myself included, but the difference is I don’t let that get to me. Everyone knows you booked the place first, and then they’ll know she’s unoriginal. It all comes out in the end.

The NFL Draft is tomorrow, and I can’t wait for it to be over with. I was going to attempt to watch it, but all the coverage it has been getting since before last season’s playoffs began, I’m sick of it already. That being said, neither of the two top quarterbacks really impress me, but I hate Brady Quinn more out of both of them. He’s so annoying, and he’s been on every sports network/show whining about how nobody loves him as much as JaMarcus Russell. He must have missed when his team inflated their wins by beating three service academies, North Carolina (2-9), Stanford (1-10), wow, that is a crucial schedule, then get straight gob smacked when they play a decent school (USC, Michigan). I’m not sure where I want him to go. Most people are saying Detroit or Cleveland, if he doesn’t drop the lower half of the top-10. Wherever he can have the most miserable career, I’m all for that. And both of those places I mentioned are pretty miserable, neither team has played in the Super Bowl.

There is something disturbingly wrong with me. Once again, the Steelers are coming to play the Redskins during the preseason, one week before my birthday; the strange thing is that I don’t want to go. I have no idea why, but I just don’t want to. I still love them, I still adore Ben, but for some reason, I just don’t have that urge to go, that thirst I needed quenched hasn’t occurred this time around. What’s wrong with me? It can’t be that rumor about Ben being engaged, I just heard that this past week. The schedule came out April 10, which was five days later than they originally promised. Bad form NFL. I can’t believe that was a little more than two weeks ago, it seems like the schedule’s been out for ages. If Ben was engaged, I don’t think I’d be too bad. Jealous as hell, yeah, whoever that lucky slag was, but I wouldn’t try to jump off that bridge that girl mentioned when she found out Troy was married. That was hilarious. I don’t even go to his message board (or the asylum, as I call it). I thought I was bad, those girls are absolute loonies. Plus, I don’t like when I see screen names like “mrs. bigben", “benismine”. It just rubs me the wrong way.

Lost (bestshowever) has been so flippin’ amazing lately. And, I heard that they are going to do the 24 thing and have it premiere in January 2008. While it would be torture waiting on next season, it will be so awesome to have all the episodes without interruption. Lots of people jumped off because of last season, but I stuck with it. Even Elliot said he wanted to get back into it because his wife said it was getting so good. I can’t wait for next week; Locke comes back and tries to get Sawyer to kill his dad. Most people think the reason Locke wants Sawyer to do it, is because Locke’s dad is the original Sawyer, and I’m inclined to agree. I didn’t mention that after every episode, I jump on the message boards; I’m such a dork. It’s just that Lost is so, so, SO very good.

That Eddie Izzard show, The Riches is pretty good. Some episodes are better than ever, but hopefully it gets a really fair shot and comes back for a second season. Eddie is kind of hot in it. I was surprised because I’d ever only seen him with his makeup on. Either way, I would totally snog him. Sometimes when I watch the show, I wish that he would at least have his eye shadow on; he has really pale eyes, and the eye shadow brings them out.

NASCAR is just screwing Tony Stewart. He’s seventh in the points standing, but he’s had at least 2 victories taken away from him by mysterious cautions. The one during last week’s race was a bit dodgy, but the one where he lost to Jimmie Johnson (how I loathe him, it’s bordering on New England quarterback hate) was just wrong. Jimmie Johnson’s crew chief said over the radio that Jimmie would need a caution pit stop in X amount of laps, and it freaking happened. Not because of a crash, but for some “debris.” Similarly, last week, they had like 7 cautions for the whole race, and only one of them was a crash, the rest were debris. The weird thing was the commentators said “we’ll show it to you, if we can find it.” What does that mean? You should be able to find it, someone thought they saw something, right? Or is it mystery debris. I’m looking forward to Smoke just kicking all kinds of ass, and hopefully he captures a 3rd Championship. And I am so sick of all these bloody Hendrick cars winning.

I kind of miss Ashley, but of course she has not left without a bunch of drama. Turns out, Phil was cheating on her. Hold up, I specifically remember her banging a couple of dudes while she was in England a few years ago. She says she still “loves” Phil. Whatever.

Lisa called me a few weeks ago and said that sometime next year, she wanted to move out, get a place with Rem and Luna. She and Luna invited me. When they asked me this, it was right after my mother was being a hag, so I was leaning towards yes. Now that I’ve had time to think about it, I’m going the other way. Even if I got a job, and saved enough, I still would rather live with people I don’t really know, it’s too much wishful thinking I could get a place by myself, than them, when I leave home. First problem is Mike. Lisa said he wasn’t moving in because of his “anger issues.” RED FLAG NUMBER ONE! Why can’t she leave him? She said he’s going to anger management, but honestly, I would think that I was too young to have a crazy ass boyfriend. Whatever, her problem not mine. If I moved in with her, then it would be my problem. Sure, he wouldn’t be living there, but he would be visiting a goddamn lot. Once a week is too much. I hated that I saw him three times in March, could you imagine if I saw him all the time, when I got home from work, when I was leaving to go somewhere, or (god forbid) he came over early and I slept in and that was one of the first things I saw? Ugh. Then it’s just some other stuff, like I’d probably share a room with Lisa. What if she can’t sleep in the cold? What if one of us snores? Plus the place would have to be near a Metro Station, or a reliable bus stop that runs on the weekends until a decent hour, since Rem is the only one with a car. It was thoughtful of them to include me, but knowing me, I hate talking on the phone with these people more than a few times a year, and really only want to go out with them about twice a year. I can’t see myself living with them for long without wanting to move out just as soon.

My favorite songs now are The Killers Read My Mind, My Chemical Romance Famous Last Words, Gym Class Heroes Cupid's Chokehold, and Three Days Grace Pain. I love those songs, I'm thinking of picking up the My Chemical Romance, The Killers, and/or Three Days Grace CD's.

Wow, this was extremely long, so I’ll be going now, a new Law & Order is on tonight. It looks pretty good, but before I go, a couple of photos.

We’re celebrating our 75th anniversary! We even get a mascot this season, I wonder if there will be a contest to name him, I don’t have any clever names. I don’t know if I like the throwback jerseys, but give it time, they might grow on me.

That picture is very Brett Favre-ish to me, it also means that Mini-Camp is here! Then there will be another one over Mother’s Day weekend, then hopefully NOTHING HAPPENS IN JUNE!!! He knows what I’m talking about, I don’t want to hear from him in June.

I'm phasing.