I Don't Know Where I'm Going, I Barely Know Where I've Been
Mood:  not sure
This is going to be a weird entry. I've wanted to update many times before, but my computer finally kicked the bucket. It'll turn on, but the desktop page looks all weird (safe-mode) and the cursor for the mouse won't show up, and you can't do much without that. Currently I'm on my mother's laptop, it's pretty cool, except it's an Apple (Mac), and some of the stuff is weird, but it can do WAY more stuff than that big P.O.S. ever could. The good news is that soon we'll HAVE to get a new computer because this laptop is property of the school county she works for, plus computers nowadays are only around $350-$400. That's not too shabby.

Some weeks ago, I hated my mother because she was a total hag. She said something that basically had me contemplating suicide, but I don't want to get too much into that. She's stressed because she's throwing my step-dad a 60th birthday party (surprise for now), and she keeps letting all the little things get to her. First it was the guest list, half the people she wanted to invite, and she didn't have their addresses. Not my fault that every time she gets a new address book, she won't fill it in. She spends every weekend in bed, then on Sunday night she wonder where the time has gone. (WTF?) Now, my step-dad's sister-in-law (we've known her and her husband (step-dad's brother) longer than my step-dad) is graduating from college or ministry school (something I don't care that much about) and she booked the same hall for her reception as we did my step-dad’s party, and that has sent her over the edge. Yes, my aunt sweats my mother, she always wants to be in charge, but my mother needs to let it go. She now wants to take my step-dad on some lunch cruise (the same one I went to for my prom) on the same day, just so they can be busy. I don’t know why my mother wants to be petty just because my aunt is. I see a lot of Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet, LOL) in my mother. She thinks she’s better than she really is; wants to set the standard or an example for everyone else, but hates it when someone copies her. I guess you could say that about tons of people, myself included, but the difference is I don’t let that get to me. Everyone knows you booked the place first, and then they’ll know she’s unoriginal. It all comes out in the end.

The NFL Draft is tomorrow, and I can’t wait for it to be over with. I was going to attempt to watch it, but all the coverage it has been getting since before last season’s playoffs began, I’m sick of it already. That being said, neither of the two top quarterbacks really impress me, but I hate Brady Quinn more out of both of them. He’s so annoying, and he’s been on every sports network/show whining about how nobody loves him as much as JaMarcus Russell. He must have missed when his team inflated their wins by beating three service academies, North Carolina (2-9), Stanford (1-10), wow, that is a crucial schedule, then get straight gob smacked when they play a decent school (USC, Michigan). I’m not sure where I want him to go. Most people are saying Detroit or Cleveland, if he doesn’t drop the lower half of the top-10. Wherever he can have the most miserable career, I’m all for that. And both of those places I mentioned are pretty miserable, neither team has played in the Super Bowl.

There is something disturbingly wrong with me. Once again, the Steelers are coming to play the Redskins during the preseason, one week before my birthday; the strange thing is that I don’t want to go. I have no idea why, but I just don’t want to. I still love them, I still adore Ben, but for some reason, I just don’t have that urge to go, that thirst I needed quenched hasn’t occurred this time around. What’s wrong with me? It can’t be that rumor about Ben being engaged, I just heard that this past week. The schedule came out April 10, which was five days later than they originally promised. Bad form NFL. I can’t believe that was a little more than two weeks ago, it seems like the schedule’s been out for ages. If Ben was engaged, I don’t think I’d be too bad. Jealous as hell, yeah, whoever that lucky slag was, but I wouldn’t try to jump off that bridge that girl mentioned when she found out Troy was married. That was hilarious. I don’t even go to his message board (or the asylum, as I call it). I thought I was bad, those girls are absolute loonies. Plus, I don’t like when I see screen names like “mrs. bigben", “benismine”. It just rubs me the wrong way.

Lost (bestshowever) has been so flippin’ amazing lately. And, I heard that they are going to do the 24 thing and have it premiere in January 2008. While it would be torture waiting on next season, it will be so awesome to have all the episodes without interruption. Lots of people jumped off because of last season, but I stuck with it. Even Elliot said he wanted to get back into it because his wife said it was getting so good. I can’t wait for next week; Locke comes back and tries to get Sawyer to kill his dad. Most people think the reason Locke wants Sawyer to do it, is because Locke’s dad is the original Sawyer, and I’m inclined to agree. I didn’t mention that after every episode, I jump on the message boards; I’m such a dork. It’s just that Lost is so, so, SO very good.

That Eddie Izzard show, The Riches is pretty good. Some episodes are better than ever, but hopefully it gets a really fair shot and comes back for a second season. Eddie is kind of hot in it. I was surprised because I’d ever only seen him with his makeup on. Either way, I would totally snog him. Sometimes when I watch the show, I wish that he would at least have his eye shadow on; he has really pale eyes, and the eye shadow brings them out.

NASCAR is just screwing Tony Stewart. He’s seventh in the points standing, but he’s had at least 2 victories taken away from him by mysterious cautions. The one during last week’s race was a bit dodgy, but the one where he lost to Jimmie Johnson (how I loathe him, it’s bordering on New England quarterback hate) was just wrong. Jimmie Johnson’s crew chief said over the radio that Jimmie would need a caution pit stop in X amount of laps, and it freaking happened. Not because of a crash, but for some “debris.” Similarly, last week, they had like 7 cautions for the whole race, and only one of them was a crash, the rest were debris. The weird thing was the commentators said “we’ll show it to you, if we can find it.” What does that mean? You should be able to find it, someone thought they saw something, right? Or is it mystery debris. I’m looking forward to Smoke just kicking all kinds of ass, and hopefully he captures a 3rd Championship. And I am so sick of all these bloody Hendrick cars winning.

I kind of miss Ashley, but of course she has not left without a bunch of drama. Turns out, Phil was cheating on her. Hold up, I specifically remember her banging a couple of dudes while she was in England a few years ago. She says she still “loves” Phil. Whatever.

Lisa called me a few weeks ago and said that sometime next year, she wanted to move out, get a place with Rem and Luna. She and Luna invited me. When they asked me this, it was right after my mother was being a hag, so I was leaning towards yes. Now that I’ve had time to think about it, I’m going the other way. Even if I got a job, and saved enough, I still would rather live with people I don’t really know, it’s too much wishful thinking I could get a place by myself, than them, when I leave home. First problem is Mike. Lisa said he wasn’t moving in because of his “anger issues.” RED FLAG NUMBER ONE! Why can’t she leave him? She said he’s going to anger management, but honestly, I would think that I was too young to have a crazy ass boyfriend. Whatever, her problem not mine. If I moved in with her, then it would be my problem. Sure, he wouldn’t be living there, but he would be visiting a goddamn lot. Once a week is too much. I hated that I saw him three times in March, could you imagine if I saw him all the time, when I got home from work, when I was leaving to go somewhere, or (god forbid) he came over early and I slept in and that was one of the first things I saw? Ugh. Then it’s just some other stuff, like I’d probably share a room with Lisa. What if she can’t sleep in the cold? What if one of us snores? Plus the place would have to be near a Metro Station, or a reliable bus stop that runs on the weekends until a decent hour, since Rem is the only one with a car. It was thoughtful of them to include me, but knowing me, I hate talking on the phone with these people more than a few times a year, and really only want to go out with them about twice a year. I can’t see myself living with them for long without wanting to move out just as soon.

My favorite songs now are The Killers Read My Mind, My Chemical Romance Famous Last Words, Gym Class Heroes Cupid's Chokehold, and Three Days Grace Pain. I love those songs, I'm thinking of picking up the My Chemical Romance, The Killers, and/or Three Days Grace CD's.

Wow, this was extremely long, so I’ll be going now, a new Law & Order is on tonight. It looks pretty good, but before I go, a couple of photos.

We’re celebrating our 75th anniversary! We even get a mascot this season, I wonder if there will be a contest to name him, I don’t have any clever names. I don’t know if I like the throwback jerseys, but give it time, they might grow on me.

That picture is very Brett Favre-ish to me, it also means that Mini-Camp is here! Then there will be another one over Mother’s Day weekend, then hopefully NOTHING HAPPENS IN JUNE!!! He knows what I’m talking about, I don’t want to hear from him in June.

I'm phasing.

Just When It's 180, You 360
Mood:  chatty
Brace yourself, this is long…

It’s so weird, during last football season and the end of last year’s NASCAR season, I barely updated. Now, it’s almost weekly.

I don’t know. I just don’t know anymore. I think that anything short of getting a good job, but not leaving home, will not please my mother. No, I still don’t have a job, but the difference this time is that I’m housekeeping, and that has kept her bitching to a minimal; Thursday, however, not so much. She had some class that day, so I knew she was coming home later than usually, so maybe I should have taken a shower a bit earlier than my normal time. Any road, she calls while I’m in the shower and then asks if I could open the door for her. I said, “Yeah, all right.” Maybe I sounded like I had an attitude or something, but like I said, I was in the shower when she called, and my ring tone is a bit startling. She comes to the door and says something like you know some of us have to actually leave the house. Dude, I’m standing at the door, wet, with a towel on, and it’s like 30? outside. Whatever. I guess she’s all annoyed with me now; but what else is new? Besides, nowadays, she can’t seem to go too long without being angry at someone in the house.

Why am I so scared of reality? What is it that others have that I don’t? I have no idea, but I better find out soon; this is not a healthy (mentally and physically) household. My mother is the type of person who will tell me that I don’t need all the junk food I’ll see on television, but the next time she’s gone grocery shopping, she brings home cookies, candy, and/or ice cream because it was on SALE. WTF? The other day, when I guess she felt I was rude to her or something, she pointed out that she bought me ice cream. I told her “thank you.” What I didn’t tell her was that I put it in the basement freezer and am trying to forget it. I’m trying to do a little something to begin a healthy lifestyle. I do the stairs everyday, well, I try to. Monday and Wednesday, I just seemed to run out of time, lame excuse I know, but I like to do it when no one is home, but I’m persistent. Hopefully, I can get up to 10-15 minutes a day. I’m only doing 5 at the mo, but for me, that is the longest 5 minutes ever, but it is starting to feel a bit shorter. Must be getting used to it.

In weeks to come, I may be getting best TV schedule ever! I don’t know when the Law & Orders stop their repeats, but I’m thinking soon I will get seven straight days of something to watch. A most unprecedented feat for me.

Sunday: NASCAR NEXTEL Cup Racing
Monday: The Riches (new show with Eddie Izzard; looks promising)
Tuesday: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Wednesday: Ugly Betty/ Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? (But they’re moving Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? to 8:00, and I may have to start recording it, because that is Betty’s time slot)
Thursday: Mythbusters and Lost (bestshowever)
Friday: Law & Order (Monk and Psych are gone until July)
Saturday: The Vicar of Dibley (It is so inappropriately funny, that British humor)

There has to be one week where all of these are new episodes (except for Vicar, but it’ll probably still be new to me) coming up soon. I have a feeling that when this happens, it will be the worst week ever, personally that is.

*All of the above was written last Thursday, March 8, 2007. Then Friday happened.*

Friday starts out kind of strange. I was having some weird ass dream, when my mother woke me up saying that my step-dad had two doctor appointments and that I had to go with him. In some strange way, it may be better for me to go like that, because since I wasn’t expecting it, I didn’t have a horrible sleep because of anxiety. Any road, the appointments go well enough, and I come back home, a bit tired; I was entertaining the idea of going back to bed. The phone rang about 12:00; I thought it might be my mother calling to know if there was anything of importance that she should know. It was Ashley. She wanted to know what I was doing that day, blah, blah, blah. Then she said they were trying to round up the usual suspects and stuff because they wanted to go out. One more try right.

They said to meet them up in Silver Spring. Even though it took me a half-hour to get ready, I still should have waited until they said that they were on their way, because it’s almost a straight shot. And I even got off one station before I was supposed to, and I still had to wait a long time. So, Phil and Ashley finally get there, and we go to this shopping center/mall. The mall sucks because all the best stores are outside, but it did have an Irish pub; made a mental note for next Saturday. We ate Subway (meatball sub rocks my socks!), and catch up. They said that Rem and his girlfriend, Luna, and Ashley’s friend Jen would meet up with us later and that they couldn’t find Lisa, but knew that she could only come if Mike came. Here, I find out that Ashley has the same disliking of Mike as I. It was comforting to know that someone else could see that he was so annoying and that it’s not me being jealous (more on this later).

We left Silver Spring (by the by, I bought the Borat DVD while there, haven’t watched it yet, depending on how outrageous it is, you know a mini-review is coming) and headed towards downtown. It was like 5:00, and they said that Rem and Luna weren’t going to come until later, and we still needed to burn some time. We went to this place that is next to the Verizon (old MCI) Center that had a movie theater, a couple shops, and a bowling alley called Lucky Strike. They wanted to go to the movies, but I said that we should wait in the bowling alley, because what if Rem and Luna show up and we’re in the theater, or they want to see a movie and we’ve already watched it. Lucky Strike is AWESOME!!! It’s a bowling alley/bar/pool hall. It was an hour wait to get a lane, and they gave us one of those pagers that restaurants use on a busy day, and we hit the bar. Oh. My. God. That was incredible, two big flat-screen TVs, and many smaller monitors showing all the basketball games on ESPN and ESPN 2. It got me thinking about football season. Lucky Strike was just so amazing, and it was kind of weird to me, maybe not to someone who goes out a lot and has heard of this before, but after 7:00, they enforce a dress code: no hats, sweats, or work boots; and after 9:00, all those under 21 "ain’t got to go home, but they got to get the hell out of there", so the saying goes. So we sat on these couches, and ordered some drinks. We got so twisted! I hade a house drink called a “Lucky Lemonade” (it was green), cranberry juice and vodka, a Pink Lemonade (it was blood red), and two Buttery Nipples (those are so good, they taste like butterscotch). We kind of hit the alcohol fast so it didn’t have the nice, subtle effect; instead, it hit us like a tidal wave. Ashley, being the pro she is, since liquor is much harder outside of the States, took control over me and Phil. She ordered some chicken strips (which were really good, and since I was so drunk, I kept going on about them) to help sober us up enough for more alcohol imbibing. After a second order of chicken strips, Rem and Luna showed up, and no more alcohol for us because Luna didn’t have any ID. We couldn’t even go to the Platinum Club like we had originally planned, but we were only going because of Ashley’s friend Jen (who didn’t show) was 20. I can’t believe we spent over $200 on drinks (minus $18, with the chicken strips being $9 a plate)! Why the hell is that stuff so expensive?

We met up with Rem and Luna outside the movie theater, where they wanted to watch 300, but everything was selling out. The one they wanted when they finally got in line was going to start at 10:30, but I couldn’t do that because that would have put me getting home and 2:00, and even though they offered to drive me home, that is way too far from where they live, and I was actually closer to home than they were. So then we decide to wait until their movie started, then I was going to go home alone. Fortunately, for me, all the showings sold out and I wouldn’t have to be by myself. We hung out at some sub shop while Phil and I dried out. Then I asked if they would wait for my line train to come so I wouldn’t have to wait at the transfer station by myself. I got home some time after midnight, and was way too tired to take a shower, and kind of fell into bed.

I was invited to go back out on Saturday, and we went up to Arundel Mills with Rem, Luna, Lisa, and Mike (tch**). We couldn’t get a hold of Phil and Ashley for the longest. It turned out that Phil had to work and Ashley had a “family thing” that she didn’t want to elaborate on, and I totally understood. We went to see 300, but being where we were, on a Saturday, we had to buy the tickets almost 2 hours in advance. Also, everyone was starving, and we headed towards the food court and decided to go to Chili’s. While we were waiting in line, they were having some sort of sports memorabilia fair going on. The absolute longing I had when I saw all that Steelers’ stuff that I didn’t need, couldn’t afford, and yet so desperately wanted. They had EVERYTHING: key chains, earrings, necklaces (I bought all these), wallets, jerseys, cups, cards, action figures, plaques, balls, and almost anything you could think of. And the autographed stuff? Forget about it. I may have been drooling at some point that day. Chili’s was really good; too bad there aren’t any close to us. The movie was okay, I kept turning on the radio on my mobile; and I had to keep my headphones on because the sound system was hurting my ears.

After the movie, we went for one last look around before all the shops closed, it was only my second time being there BEFORE the mall closed, but we won’t re-open those wounds. I found myself in Claire’s, where I found the cutest Grumpy Bear with a black umbrella and a black and white striped scarf! I HAD to have it. We finally gathered everyone together to hit the road back home. Pretty uneventful ride, but I had to ride the train with Mike until he could transfer to the Blue line. On Mike, I will say that he was better this time. He’s still too extreme for me, but as long as we keep the situations where I have to be around him to a few and far in between, I’ll be okay. He’s Lisa’s boyfriend *cough*problem*cough*. But one thing I wish they would work on was the PDA; he was all over her like a two-size-too-small sweater. Kissing is one thing, but that was damn near foreplay. And I noticed that, maybe because I’m more at ease or something with Ashley and Phil, but I didn’t feel as out of place with them.

Still, being the odd one out sucks, but I’m just not that fussed over anyone; well anyone I’ve got a shot with.

Sunday was the first time I was home not just to sleep. We went out early to look for stuff for my mother’s birthday, which is Saturday. The way she’s acting, I say we buy her a 12-pack of Bud Light, popcorn, DVD, and piss off, because she’s been a right hag lately. Then I settled down for the race, which was weird. Las Vegas put in a new track and the drivers, Tony Stewart and Kevin Harvick the loudest, had been complaining about it. But Smoke faired well (7th place), ever since the DNF at Daytona, he’s had two top-ten finishes, and is 13th in the points standings (this year, they expanded the Chase to the top 12 drivers). That rat-bastard Jimmie Johnson won. He won at the last two Las Vegas races, and as he crossed the finish line, he radioed to his crew chief, “Can you say three-peat?” Ugh. I can’t stand him.

Today, the normalcy kicked in, and it sucks. After such an eventful weekend, I realized that’s what I want; more Friday than Saturday. For the first time, ever since I turned 21, I felt over 21 (even though the cashier at Safeway said I looked 16, but I wasn’t mad at her). I know I’m always short with my friends, their punctuality being one of the biggest things that irks me, and it may not be them I experience that with, but that’s what I want. Some friends to go out with, maybe not every weekend, but every now and then, get drunk, hang out with, and make me forget my troubles. I’ve been wondering what I’ve been missing, and when I finally found out, I want more. I felt so alive, I didn’t have a care in the world except to keep the good time going. I can see how easy it is for someone to overindulge, but moderation is the key. I can’t wait to do that again, it might be with Ashley and Phil, it might not be, but I’m ready for it, not monetarily, but the spirit is up for it.

But my reality came crashing back down, and when my mother got home, she started bitching about how I need to clean the house better, do a room a day. Tch**. She asked if I remembered what shoes I could throw away of hers (not really) and she has these artificial flowers in her bathroom that are really dusty and that I need to wash them off. They probably need to be thrown away as well. I hate knick-knacks and stuff like that, and my feelings towards them are if you are going to have them, you have to take care of them. She’s allergic to everything except water (no joke). So, in order to lessen the dust build up, we should throw all this shit away. But maybe that’s just me. Tch**.

Well, that’s enough bitching for me, I’ve got to get in the shower and see if I can cram in Borat before The Riches come on. But I’m just going to grin and bear it, I’m not going to let her destroy my happy, and on Friday night, I was HAPPY!

But to help put me in a better mood…

Bad News/Good News- Bad news: that does NOT match. Sometimes I worry about that boy and his questionable fashion choices. Good news: HELL YEAH, TUMMY SHOT!!! He shaves his chest! So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, very HOT!!! He’s everything I could physically want in a man. I can’t say personally because I don’t know him. But in all his personal appearances (and there were a lot his birthday weekend at Disney World), he’s so politically correct; sometimes it makes me want to scream because his interviews are about as interesting as beige paint, but I’m not usually watching for any revelations from him. Then again, it leaves a bit of mystery about him.

Oh, and all of these photos are courtesy of Big Ben News. It’s an unofficial site, but it’s everything his site should be, except it doesn’t have his blog, but it’s not like he updates that much.

I’m phasing.

**Tch is that sucking your teeth noise.

P.S. Drunk photos to follow, although none of them have me in a shirt that says "Drink Like A Champion."

Quarter of a Century
Mood:  party time!
Happy Birthday 25th Ben! Enjoy Disney World! He’s down there for ESPN the Weekend. I was looking for him on Cold Pizza this morning, but he was not there. However, his fellow Steelers’ teammate and SBXL MVP Hines Ward was. He was there with Carolina Panthers’ WR Steve Smith. They looked so tired. I know Hines has a son about 4 or 5 years old and Steve has like 3 or 4 kids, I bet they’ve been getting dragged around by them at Disney World since sunup.

I can only wish Ben has a safe time, listen to the rides’ operators, and stay out of trouble. Then again, that’s my wish for his entire off-season.

Now some non-Ben related highlights:

• I was in my first car accident on Tuesday. We were on the way to my step-dad’s doctor, and we were waiting at a light and got rear-ended. That was quite an experience for me, and while I would be lying if I said that I would stop doing this, it was so embarrassing to be sitting in the car and having other cars pass us staring. On a flip note, I almost called Elliot in the Morning, but chickened out when it actually started ringing.

• Still very addicted to You Tube and Yahoo! Answers. I'm up to over ninety answers, and my latest best answer was to question "Why people hate on Roethlisberger?" I'll post it at a later date; it was really good, and long-winded. I never expect them to start out so long, but I really want to get my point across. If I had just said "jealousy", that's not enough. I'll try and post it next time.

• Lost (bestshowever) was a bit underwhelming this past Wednesday. It was a Hurley back-story, and I was quite disappointed because his are usually jolly interesting. Next week’s looks so awesome, and a little birdie told me that it is a Sayid back-story. His are usually pretty good. I think the let down from the past episode was that there was no action. All they did was restore a VW-type van. Next week Kate, Locke, Sayid, and Danielle (French Chick) are supposed to go looking for Jack, so there’s still hope.

• My new favorite show is Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? The great thing is that I know a lot of the answers, but the adults on there don’t. It’s so funny to see them struggle with easy questions. The bad thing is that I wouldn’t be shocked if it’s fixed. I’ll be so disappointed if that were the case. Some people are complaining that they never learned any of the stuff by the time they were in fifth grade, but that’s actually the catch, what today’s fifth-graders are learning is what the last generation didn’t learn until late middle school, if not high school. I should know, typing my mother’s entire kindergarten lesson plans. They are learning about money and geometry. I can actually remember learning about money in the second grade, I probably knew a bit about it anyway, but I remember my teacher, Mrs. Vaughan, had these big paper cutouts of the different coins. Why that sticks out in my mind, I have no idea. As for geometry, I’m not talking about identifying just circles, squares, triangles, and rectangles. They have to know spheres, cubes, and RECTANGULAR PRISMS. WTF? I can assure you I NEVER had to know what a rectangular prism was; or at least not anywhere close to kindergarten age.

• Ashley came home yesterday, I think. I have not heard from her yet, but I have decided, that if she wants to try to get something together, I am taking no responsibility whatsoever. I’m not suggesting what we could do, where we could go, when to do it, or anything like that. I’ll let them get in touch and we’ll see what happens. A part of me said that if I go, I should show up like half-hour to an hour late. I probably couldn’t do that, but I might try.

• There’s no race on Sunday. But there’s a Busch race in Mexico, tomorrow I think. I can’t believe that the Cup Series races for two weeks and then they decide they need a week off. Whatever. I might not get totally into it, but if I need my fix, it will be there for me. It’s just that Sundays suck so much with out racing or football.

And now for a photo of the birthday boy:

What, you didn’t think I wouldn’t find it, did you? Goddamn. That picture is so inappropriately hot. {sarcasm} I especially love the fact that he went swimming with his Super Bowl ring. Nice. {/sarcasm}

Happy Birthday Ben!

I’m phasing.

Answer the Phon... Er, Question (Nothing Rhymes with Question)
Mood:  special
Okay, to recap Sunday… Smoke lost. He was leading the pack and was doing great until Kurt Busch spun him out. Oh well, maybe next year Smoke. Oh yeah, he totally finished last.

But other than that, it was awesome! It had the greatest finish EVER! Kevin Harvick won by 2 hundredths (.02) of a second over Mark Martin. But that’s not what’s so great; there was this huge wreck behind them. Now, when the wreck started, there are some people saying that the caution flag should have come out and Mark Martin should have won, but that finish would have sucked. The best part about the wreck was that the Jack Daniel’s 07 car crossed the finish line, in 18th place, UPSIDE DOWN AND ON FIRE.

No words can describe that awesomeness.

I have a new addiction. Don’t worry, it doesn’t clash with the old one of You Tube, in fact, they kind of compliment each other. My new addiction is Yahoo! Answers. You go on there and you can ask or answer a bunch of questions about any subject and you get two points for each answer. The best part? If your answer is selected the best by the asker (and maybe by vote) then you get an additional ten points! I only signed up this past Sunday after the race and already I’ve had seven best answers! I also answered over 50 questions, but considering that the asker doesn’t have to pick mine, it’s quite flattering. I’ll copy and paste my first two; they’re my favorite, askers’ stuff in italics:

First one:
Who do you think is the top 5 quarterbacks in the last five years??

1. Tom Brady......Three superbowls, two SB MVP awards nuff said.
2. Peyton Manning....Finally got one ring.
3. Donovan Mcnabb.....Not quite proven he can win the big one.
4. Carson Palmer.....If he didn't get hurt at the end of last season they might have been in the Steelers place in 06'.
5. Michael Vick.....One of the most explosive players in the NFL, of the field that's a different story.

Best Answer— Chosen by Asker
1. Peyton Manning- The man is awesome, and he finally got the hardware to go with the stats.
2. New England's Quarterback- I can't stand him, I try not to say his name, but he gets the job done and has three rings so I (begrudgingly) respect that.
3. Drew Brees- He keeps having setbacks, but has phenomenal years. The Dolphins were stupid to give him up.
4. Carson Palmer- Solid, but I heavily disagree with the statement that if he hadn't gotten hurt the Bungles would have won the Super Bowl. No way they would have gotten past the Broncos.
5. Donovan McNabb- I think he's now the "hasn't won the big one" front runner that Peyton was for so long. Love him, don't really like his team.

Honorable Mention: Ben Roethlisberger- If he stays out of oncoming traffic this off season (I was so distraught last June) and trains hard before and during training camp, he could really be one of the very best and take the Steelers back to the playoffs.

Dishonorable Mention: Michael Vick? Please, he's a running back who takes snaps. The Falcons keep a tight grip on second stringer Matt Schaub for a reason.

Cheers!

Asker’s rating: **** (out of 5)

Very complete answer and I like the fact she explains every aspect of the answers!!

And second one:
New NASCAR fan. Who should I root for and why?

This past Daytona 500 is the first race I ever watched, and I really liked it. I guess I need a favorite driver now to make it even more interesting.

Best Answer— Chosen by Asker

The driver of the #20 Home Depot Chevrolet Monte Carlo SS Tony Stewart! Why? Because he's the man. If Kurt Busch hadn't spun him out, he would have definitely finished top five if. The man is just bad a**. And watch out whoever is in front of him, because their rear-view mirrors are full of Smoke! War Tony Stewart!

Cheers!

Asker’s rating: *****

I was thinking he would be the man to pick and when you warred him and said cheers, that settled it. Thanks

It’s so great to get that notice in your inbox that one of your answers was chosen.

I wish things on the home front were as simple. Why is it that when someone wants something done, they get all panicky, and stop making sense? Today, when my step-dad came home, he asked me if I wanted to go to the store today or tomorrow. I said tomorrow, because nobody told me anything about going to the grocery store. Then he said that we had to go tonight because he had stuff to do tomorrow and I wouldn’t get up early enough tomorrow to go. Okay… whatever. Then he asks if my mother was awake, and I told him that I didn’t know. He storms up the stairs, and I was asking him if he had a list or something to know what we were getting at the store, and he peeps in my mother’s room. I go in the bathroom to wash up and try to do something with my hair since he was going crazy, then he says to me never mind the store, she’s asleep. I guess he was going for her to get a list. So, I finish watching Pardon the Interruption, which I forgot to watch the very end, again, through Sportscenter. Oh well. After all that my mother comes into the computer room, where I’m feeding my addiction, and asks if everything was alright. She had some crazy dream that was induced by a sitcom, it’s happened to the best of us. Any road, I told her what the hell was up with her husband and that he was going off the edge. She called him and he told her that an ice storm was supposed to come through late tomorrow, early Sunday (and he couldn’t have told me because…?) and (again) that I wouldn’t get up early enough tomorrow to go to the store with him. Then she asked him if he asked me if I would get up. Then he said “no.” People, there are enough things in life to worry and fret over, but I do not need someone losing their mind over a trivial thing like that. Just bleeding tell me there is an ice storm coming and ask if I’ll get up, like I’d say “no.” (If you saw the size of my step-dad, you wouldn’t say “no” either.) Shit, I wanna eat to, plus I need my toothpaste. I’m neurotic enough as it is, I don’t need help like that; take a deep breath, calm down, and speak slowly.

I need help; I just answered another question, bringing my total answered to: 57.

Well, that’s it for me, since I have to be up early tomorrow, I’ll try to get some down time.

And if I'm not back before, you know I will be back the first Friday in March. It has something to do with some guy, that I miss so much.

I’m phasing.

P.S. WAR TONY STEWART!!! TAKE NO PRISONERS SMOKE!!

Daytona, Daytona, I Love You Daytona, You're Only a Day Away!
Mood:  party time!
Now Playing: Music Videos from Youtube!
The new Super Bowl Champions are the Colts. And I … don’t care. Well, I’m happy for Tony Dungy, but that’s about it. It’s just so whatever to me. I know it sounds like sour grapes, but usually I feel some emotion. Last year, I was over the moon, the previous two years I had a strong surge of loathing because the team that won I really hated, and I don’t really remember any before that. But this year, I just feel so… blah.

And with one last look at the 2006 NFL season, we carry on and look towards the future. You know what’s coming:

OH HELL YEAH!!! In approximately 18 hours I’ll be all geared up and ready for the Daytona 500. Once again, I can’t believe how much I missed NASCAR. But seeing how the Steelers didn’t make the playoffs, and it’s been a long time since I watched a sporting event with genuine interest, I am so psyched for this. I’ve got everything planned. I pre-ordered pizza and breadsticks from Papa John’s (best pizza EVER, Pizza Hut and Domino’s: not so much), and they should be delivering at about 3:00 tomorrow, around the actual start of the race. I chose that time because I’d rather them deliver it during the race than way before when they’re doing all the pre-race stuff, the “gentlemen, start your engines” thing, or the benediction. The TV Guide says that it starts at 2:00, but all that stuff beforehand takes about 45 minutes to an hour; and this being the first and biggest race of the season, it might go longer than that. I’ll be cheering like hell for Smoke tomorrow. He’s won at this track before, including the Pepsi 400 (held in June) and the Daytona 300 in the Busch Series the previous two years (he came in 8th today), so I know he does well on this track, but he’s never won the Daytona 500. If he wins, it’ll be so big for him, plus I’m sick of Jimmie Johnson winning it.

Lost (bestshowever) has been so good since its return. The bad thing is that it’s losing viewers. They keep shooting themselves in the foot because they keep changing the time. The first year it came on at 8:00, last season they moved it to 9:00 and it got its ass kicked by American Idol, so this year, somebody got the brilliant idea to move it to 10:00 after it’s hiatus so it won’t interfere with Idol. One bright spot is that it may not be panic time just yet, seeing how this past Wednesday was Valentine’s Day, people might not have watched it because they were busy. Hopefully, this coming week it will rebound and everything will turn out for the best. It sucks that it seems to lose viewers every year. There is just no pleasing some people. Maybe if they had started out like 24 and began their season in January and ran the episodes consecutively, people wouldn’t be bitching as much. Whatever. I still love the show. After I had learned about this week’s poor ratings, I had contemplated about what if ABC moved Lost to Thursdays after Ugly Betty and putting Grey’s Anatomy in its place. Then I realized that I wouldn’t have anything to watch on Wednesdays. For some strange reason, fate has dealt me a hand where I have something to watch almost everyday of the week, except for Mondays. It’s so weird.

I do miss him, but I know that not seeing him or hearing about him is a GOOD thing. I did hear that he was on Carson Daly’s show I guess last night, which I might have stayed up for even though I was taping Psych while this was on. He did discredit the rumor that he has a special someone. But I heard that he was wearing pinstripes, again. It’s a great look, and the only thing I love more than a man in pinstripes is the man I love in pinstripes, but moderation is the key. Don’t wear it all the time. Someone needs to take old boy shopping furseriously**. Still, I might hit the clip up on You Tube, which is my favorite new addiction. I watch music videos and other crap on there all day long. It’s so awesome!

Well, I better be going, I can?t believe it?s after 10:00 already. I probably won?t sleep that well in anticipation of Daytona. I?ve missed it so.

I’m phasing.

P.S. WAR TONY STEWART!!!!!!!!

P.P.S. What the hell happened to Britney Spears? It is so sad.

P.P.P.S. I got a new mobile. It's awesome as balls! More on this as it develops.

**Furserious: 1. An expression of disbelief; 2. A combination of “for sure” and “serious”; might just be my new favorite word

Out With the Old, In With the New
Mood:  hungry
I have to say that I’m over it now. We have found a new head coach, Mike Tomlin. He’s young, has a pretty good defensive mind, and hopefully can put the spark and fire back into us that we so desperately need. Like I said last time, I’ll miss our former coach, but something was missing last season.

On to the Super Bowl, but first, here is a recap of last time. Wild Card Round—AFC: Colts over Chiefs (handily, I was right in my pick, saying their defense would work really hard in trying to stop the run, so why the hell am I not on TV?) and Patriots (ugh) over Jets. NFC: Eagles over Giants (good game, came down to a field goal with like 3 seconds to go) and the default winners of the NFC West over the Cowboys (Tony Romo, meet Bill Buckner, ouch). Divisional Round—AFC: Colts over Ravens (battle of the field goals, when asked, all Tony Dungy could reply was “money”) and Patriots (ugh) over Charger (San Diego GAVE that game away, it was absolutely disgusting). NFC: Saints over Eagles and Bears over the default winners of the NFC West. Conference Championships—AFC: Colts over Patriots (ugh). I hadn’t been so happy since the previous season’s AFC Championship game. I HAD to cheer for the Colts, not only because I really despise the Patriots, but also because I knew that if New England won that game, they were on their way to becoming the second team to win 4 Super Bowls in 6 years, a feat only accomplished by the 70’s Steelers. I say that because there was no way that New England was losing the Super Bowl. Especially since they had already beaten the NFC Champions this season, which brings us to… NFC: Bears over Saints. It was a magical ride while it lasted for the Saints, and hopefully they can be contenders next year. Show everyone that you are for real by being back in the playoffs next year; try to take that next step forward.

So, all that being said your Super Bowl XLI match up: Colts vs. Bears. Now, who do I pull for? I mean, I wanted to cheer for the Saints, but they’re out of it. Once again, fate, destiny, whatever you want to call it, seems to be with Indianapolis. And all those other years, I would have pulled for them, I really would have. And I like Tony Dungy; he’s such a great coach, a great guy, and an ex-Steelers’ player. Plus, Peyton has all the stats, but he’s lacking the ring; unfortunately he’s the problem. The Blog 'n' Gold said it best when they were weighing the pros and cons for the four remaining teams before the Conference Championship games:

• Indianapolis Colts
Pros: Good guy Tony Dungy gets a ring; Eli Manning is made to feel even more inferior to Peyton than he already does.
Cons: You think there are a lot of Peyton Manning commercials now? Just wait.

I like how the Eli comment is a “pro.” LOL!

I just think that I might cheer for the Bears, since I’m usually for the underdog; unless the underdog is playing against the Steelers. It all depends on how the game goes, especially if one of the teams gets out to an enormous lead. I just hope it’s an interesting game, and not something that I’ll be bored with by halftime. Speaking of halftime, this year’s show is Prince. Since he’s most likely won’t be performing Scandalous, it being a slow song and all, and probably won’t do Seven, my reaction towards it is leaning towards “meh.”

Man, one year ago tomorrow, the Steelers became the five-time World Champions. All I got are my memories and VHS tapes.

Is it wrong that the most emotion that I expressed about anything over the past few weeks was the untimely death of a fictional character? What does that say about me? Even though it was so wrong of them to kill J.T. off like that. Bad form!

I don’t even have a photo of Ben that I want to put up. It’s been that kind of day.

Gotta go, I’m .

I’m phasing.

P.S. We’re still World Champions! Well, for a couple more hours anyway.

P.P.S. Lost (bestshowever) returns on Wednesday! And emoticon kitties still rock!

The End of Cahr Pahr
Mood:  sad
Now Playing: Welcome to the Black Parade
I didn’t cry when Jerome Bettis retired, it was slightly expected. I didn’t cry when Ben was injured in the motorcycle accident. I was kind of in a state of shock. But yesterday and today I shed a tear when our head coach Bill Cowher resigned. It was so sad, I mean, all I have known is him. Granted I have only been a Steelers’ fan for three seasons, but this is just so weird to me. But there is hope. Coach Cowher (I’m so used to calling him that, anything else would sound foreign.) made it known that he was “resigning” and not “retiring.” He said that “retiring” sounded old, so now we all have hope that he comes back in a few years. If, and probably when, he comes back, he should know that going to any team that is not the Black and Gold would just be inappropriate; extremely inappropriate. I’ll save my good-bye toward the end.

The Steelers did exactly what I wanted them to do in the last game of the season. They beat some Bungle ass!!! We can’t go to the playoffs, and now they can’t either. The bad thing is that we almost gave that game away to them. Willie fumbled in the end zone and didn’t recover the ball. It hurt so much. In the end we went to overtime, and won with a 67-yard pass from Ben to Santonio Holmes, and happiness was everywhere on the Steelers’ sideline. It’s so awesome that both this season and last season we ended the Bengals playoff hopes in their own backyard. Oh, and I hate CBS with the fire of a thousand suns. Bank.

Who Dey? I think the answer remains the same.

I guess now I have to break down the playoffs. It is too weird that we are not in them this year. I’m not used to the season ending so soon. Okay, so the AFC first. The Chargers (first seed) and Ravens (second seed) have the first round bye. So, tomorrow afternoon the Colts (third seed) take on the glad-to-be-here Chiefs (sixth seed)! The Broncos lost to the 49ers in overtime, thus ending their playoff dreams. On a downer note, they lost their cornerback Darrent Williams later that night when he was slain in a drive-by shooting after leaving a nightclub where he was ringing in the New Year. It was so sad and so senseless, and it makes you put everything into perspective. But getting back into the playoffs, with their loss, the Jets moved up to become the fifth seed, and they will take on the Patriots (fourth seed) in the rubber match on Sunday. This is really hard, because like I’ve stated before, there is really no one I want to pull for, but with the Broncos loss, that makes everything a bit different. The Colts probably will win, but instead of taking on the Jets 20th ranked rushing offense, they’ll be trying to stop Larry Johnson (bama). He’s the second ranked rusher this season, and broke the record for most attempts by a running back. Their defense will probably work on nothing but the run, so I’ll have to take the Colts. I hate the Patriots, they’ll most likely win, but you know I’ll be cheering for the J-E-T-S! JETS, JETS, JETS!

In the NFC, nothing much has changed. The Bears and Saints are the top two seeds, and have the bye, the Eagles (third seed) won the division when the Cowboys (fifth seed) lost (to the LIONS) and when they beat the Falcons with their THIRD STRING TEAMS; on both sides of the ball. HA! The Falcons suck. The default winners of the NFC West are the fourth seed, I refuse to say their names because like I said last time, we got so much crap for being bad, and they didn’t. And they were equally as bad, but I’ll tell you what, that Madden Curse is for real. I believe in it. So that helps me deal with it. The Giants take the last seed, by beating the Redskins. I was wrong and confused about what I said if the Packers beat the Bears (and they did) and finish with the same record as the Giants. But it was so baffling what they were talking about, plus it was 1:00 in the morning. I promise to never try to understand tie-breaker situations that late at night ever again; especially when they make little sense. Anyway tomorrow, the Cowboys travel to the northwestern city of the West default winners. Both teams are pretty awful on defense, and this is Tony Romo’s first playoff game, but I think Dallas could come out with a win. It will all come down to who can suck less. Then on Sunday, the Giants take on the Eagles. The teams split their meetings this year, each winning at the other’s stadium, but the first time Philadelphia gave the game away when they let New York come back from some huge deficit (I forget exactly how much, at least 20 points I think) and win in overtime. I think the Eagles will win because Eli Manning just doesn’t have it. He lacks the confidence and hasn’t proved once that even if you stop the run, he can beat you with his arm. Unlike some extremely awesome, devastatingly gorgeous quarterback who shall remain nameless. So Tiki Barber will be doing most of the work and Jeremy Shockey (hot as balls, sorry extremely awesome, devastatingly gorgeous unnamed quarterback, but he is) might not even play because of an ankle injury.

What’s next for the Steelers? We have to get a new head coach, work on special teams and turnovers (killed us this year), and tell the quarterback to stay out of oncoming traffic. Because this year just didn’t make any sense. We had the seventh and tenth ranked offense and defense, respectively. The ONLY other team in the NFL with both a top-ten ranked offense and defense is the Chargers. As you can see, they’re in the playoffs, sitting pretty with a first round bye. What's the difference between the two teams? TURNOVERS! Hopefully, in the AFC especially, the continuing trend of the number one seeds not making the Super Bowl will be in effect this year, because I do not want the Chargers to win. Unfortunately, they are the lesser of two evils because the team with best shot to beat them is the Ravens. Come on, NFC; break the cycle of dominance this year.

I gotta get going, but before I go, I have to announce that I have two new favorite songs. My Chemical Romance’s Welcome to the Black Parade and Fallout Boy’s This Ain’t a Scene, It’s an Arms Race. I can’t get enough of them; I play them too loud when I hear them on the radio. And…

Thanks for the memories, Coach. It’s been one hell of a ride, especially last season, and I’m glad that you finally got that elusive ring that had always been just out of your grasp. Hope to see you soon, preferably on our side of the field.

Have a SAFE and wonderful off season Ben! I feel kind of sad for Ben, he only had two years with the Bus and now his coach is leaving him as well. I only hope that our next coach can exploit Ben’s full abilities, and that would make him very, very dangerous. But we can’t abandon the run, because that’s Steelers football.

I’m phasing.

P.S. I have to leave off with my favorite Bill Cowher moment, after we beat the Bungles in the playoffs last year.

Cowher: When I say “Who Dey?” I want you to say “We Dey!” WHO DEY?
Team: WE DEY!
Cowher: WHO DEY?
Team: WE DEY!
Cowher: WHO DEY?
Team: WE DEY!
Some Guy in the back (It has to be James Farrior): Who dey think gon’ beat them Bengals?
Team: WE DEY!

God Bless you Bill, I’ll miss you!

So This is Christmas, and What Have I Done?
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Judy Garland- The Man That Got Away
It started out okay. I tried to go to sleep around 11:00 on Christmas Eve, but then my step-dad came in and wanted to know if I wanted to give my mother one of her gifts early. It was this Febreze thing that looks like a CD player, and you put discs in it, but instead of music, five different scents emit from it. I didn’t care. I was loaded up on Valium and Benadryl, and he was putting me off and blowing my buzz. He ended up just leaving it until morning. Of course then anxiety kicked in and my sleep was a bit spotty. I always get like that on Christmas Eve, but I had hoped that all the sedatives would help. I woke up for the final time at 7:00 and just lay in bed listening to the radio until about 8:15. That’s when my VCR woke me up. I taped a bunch of Christmas specials that came on at inappropriate times. I ended up just watching most of one of them until 9:00, that’s when I got out of bed and brushed my teeth and just couldn’t wait anymore for presents.

My mother took FOREVER in the bathroom. At least 45 minutes. Like I said, I got out of bed at 9:00, and we didn’t start until almost 10:00. The suspense nearly did me in. We started off with the presents her students gave her. And she didn’t even want to open anything we bought her. We got her a bunch of Redskins shirts, a plaque with their fight song on it, a lamp that kind of looks like it was from Tiffany’s, and that Febreze thing that hurts my face if I’m in the living room with it. She got my step-dad pajamas, t-shirts, and socks. I got him Cars on DVD. I got two sets of pajamas, a hair dryer (that has to go back because it didn’t have a comb attachment), a hand mixer (that might go back because we had one, but it’s so hard to find those beaters that fit, so I might keep it), a new Lady and the Tramp hand bag (it’s bigger than the one I got for my birthday), a vibrating razor (it’s really cool), and some underwear (they always give me underwear on Christmas and my birthday; they think it’s funny, but they never remember doing it).

Then I started dinner. Me. All by me onesy. Did the same on Thanksgiving, and we had pretty much the same thing. I cooked the turkey, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, gravy, rolls, and broccoli au gratin. But the broccoli went bad for some reason, and I was extremely disappointed. The part where I kind of fell apart was after dinner. My mother wanted to put the turkey away, but instead of slicing it up and putting it into bags or containers; she wasted half the box of aluminum foil by putting it over the whole bird and dripped juice all over the floor. Then she said something to the effect of that the turkey was getting worse by the second the longer it stayed out. But when I was trying to carve it up and put it away, she was all in the way cleaning the floor which I already had, but the juice did get everywhere because she was trying to put it in the refrigerator in the basement. And for some reason, that’s when frustration set in while I finished cleaning the kitchen. I have no idea why, but I just got really down after that. I had to go watch Love Actually to help recapture my Christmas spirit.

Now onto more important stuff. Football. Quick recap of what has happened since the last entry. After our awesome come back against the Browns, we became 4-6. Then we got straight punished by the Ravens when they shut us out 27-0, thus dropping our record to 4-7. It hurt so badly. Ben got sacked NINE TIMES! That is horrible. Just then we had our longest winning streak of the season winning three games in a row defeating the Buccaneers, Browns, and Panthers. So, we sat at 7-7, the first time since week two, playing the Ravens at home. The good news is that we didn’t get shut out and Ben didn’t get sacked nine times. We lost 31-7 and Ben only got sacked five times (/sarcasm). Now we are 7-8, facing the Bengals in Cincinnati. They just lost to the Broncos and sit at 8-7, and are on the outside looking in to get to the playoffs. So I hope that on Sunday we beat some Bungle ass, because if we can’t go to the playoffs, neither can they. An immature way to feel I know, but that’s how I feel nonetheless.

I can’t believe there’s only one more week left of the regular football season. And the way ours went, I’m not too torn up about it. I can’t find any team in the AFC to pull for this year. The Chargers are annoying, plus their linebacker did steroids and got caught, so their record (13-2) seems a bit tainted to me. Yeah, like I’ll pull for the Ravens after they annihilated us twice. The Colts’ rushing defense is so awful, and if you can’t stop the run, you can’t go far in the playoffs. I can’t believe they split in their division and went 3-3 in it. Of course I still think the Titans should have beaten them the first time. The Patriots? Next. And if the Broncos and Jets don’t mess it up and lose to the 49ers and Raiders, respectively, then they should get the wildcard spots. I would cheer for the Broncos, but they demoted probably one of my favorite non-Steelers player, Jake Plummer (a.k.a. Pornstache), and he probably won’t be on the team next year. And the Jets, I just don’t think they’ll make it out of the wildcard round, but they could surprise me, because they would play the Colts if the Ravens win and get the first-round bye, and the Colts have the 32nd ranked rush defense, but the Jets rush offense is only 20th, so that might be moot.

All that being said, I guess I’ll pull for the second seeded Saints. If anyone deserves a Super Bowl shot, it’s them. And if my Black and Gold can’t go, I guess their Black and Copper (?) should represent. The Bears got top seed, and I was pulling for them in the NFC, but their inconsistent at quarterback. I can’t believe what the Eagles have put together, if they beat the Falcons (PLEASE DO!), they’ll win the division. And everyone left them for dead after Donovan McNabb got hurt earlier this year. I’m still a little peeved that the Seahawks are going by default of their division sucking. And nobody called them out on how shoddily inconsistent their play has been, but they all got on Ben and the Steelers’ cases. Look, my quarterback hit a car, got appendicitis the week before the season started, and then suffered a second concussion after he hit the car. I know it sounds like I can’t let it go, but it’s so unfair. Then the wildcard spots will be the Cowboys and it’s like a headache trying to find out who gets the last one. The Giants are in the best position to get it if they beat the Redskins on Saturday. But, if Green Bay beats the Bears, which they could because since Chicago’s already wrapped up home-field advantage, they could rest their starters for most of the game, the Packers could then get the last slot in the playoffs because of their strength of schedule tie-breaker with the Giants. It is absolutely mind boggling. I don’t even think I just understood what I just wrote. I was watching NFL Live last night at 1:00, and they were explaining it, and I just wanted to cry. They said Green Bay needs to win and have New York win for the Packers to get in, but I’m still confused because no one said what would happen if the Packers won, but Giants lost. *In Gumby voice* MY BRAIN HURTS! But if I find this year’s playoffs to be boring, I can always watch last years again. It was so awesome.

Well, that will be all for me, but before I go, I have to post one of my two new-to-me favorite Christmas songs. This is All I Want for Christmas is You, it’s not the Mariah Carey version, but it generally is saying the same thing.

Take back the holly and mistletoe
Silver bells on string
If I wrote a letter to Santa Claus
I would ask for just one thing
I don't need sleigh rides in the snow
Don't want a Christmas that's blue
Take back the tinsel, stockings and bows
'Cause all I want for Christmas is you

I don't need expensive things
They don't matter to me
All that I want, it can't be found
Underneath the Christmas tree

You are the angel atop my tree
You are my dream come true
Santa can't bring me what I need
'Cause all I want for Christmas is you

I don't need expensive things
They don't matter to me
All that I want, it can't be found
Underneath the Christmas tree

You are the angel atop my tree
You are my dream come true
Santa can't bring me what I need
'Cause all I want for Christmas is you
'Cause all I want for Christmas is you
'Cause all I want for Christmas is you

Hmm, what could I possibly want more than any material possession on Earth?

WHERE DID THAT BITCH GET A PHOTO OF HIM IN THE POOL?!?! AUGH! I'M SO JEALOUS!

Sorry, I've been suppressing that for a couple of hours now. Oh yeah, that's what. I hope he had a Happy Christmas.

I'm phasing.

P.S. HE WAS IN A POOL! A POOL! THAT IS SO INAPPROPRIATELY UNFAIR!

Same Old, Same Old
Mood:  a-ok
We finally got on a winning streak! Sure it’s only 2 games, but we finally broke out of the win one, lose three, win one, lose three thing. I have no idea what that was about. We beat the Saints in high scoring action, but we were in danger of losing the week after, to the BROWNS! That would have been no es bueno. But Ben came up large in that game. He brought us back, and when I saw that shovel pass he threw to Willie Parker with 32 seconds left, and the fact that he made it look so easy, I was floored. The man is so awesome! I’m trying to relish in this win, because next week we play the Ravens and they are it this year. They’re 8-2 and sitting pretty with a 3 game lead over the Bengals, while we just had a knock-down, drag-out to not be the basement dwellers at 4-6 over the Browns.

I was wrong about what I said about if a certain driver wins the cup this year, and then the Super Bowl will be the two worst teams ever. Actually, that driver is more the Colts of the NASCAR circuit if anything. And that bastard won the Cup. Ugh. But if the Colts make it to the Super Bowl, I refuse to cheer for them. Last year, I probably would have, this year, not so much.

I can’t believe Thursday is Thanksgiving. Wow, this year is just over. And I’ve accomplished absolutely nothing, but I’m not feeling that low just yet to be depressed over it. Besides, I have another predicament to get out of. Okay, yesterday, November 20, was Lisa’s birthday. I sent a card last Thursday. But then she called me on Friday, and I missed the call (not on purpose, I may have been in the shower). Then she sent me an e-mail saying that my answering service didn’t work (not true, but my phone is starting to suck, two more months I can get a new one), and that she wanted to invite me to go out with her, Rem, some chick I’ve never met named Luna, and probably Lisa’s annoying ass boyfriend Mike. I can’t remember; I’d have to look again. But anyway, somewhere in the e-mail she said that she felt that I was shutting myself away from the world or something. That’s slightly laughable, but true at the same time. It’s not the world I’m shutting out; it’s just people I know. From a normal person, that might not make sense, but looking at previous entries a person could see where I’m coming from. She also tried to use the lure of “if you don’t’ have any money, we’ll pay.” No, still not going to work, especially not for your birthday. It’s slightly flattering that she wants me to go so bad that she’d pay, but that looks so horrible if you only go because they’re paying, on their birthday. If it was just some outing like in the summer or at some time that isn’t anyone’s birthday, there is a slight maybe, but I probably still wouldn’t do it. But like I said, I just don’t want to do it anymore. I’m just tired of trying.

Also Marcus called today. He left a message and I may call him back in a bit. I want to get all my bedding that I washed back on, so I’m not doing it on the phone, huffing and puffing in his ear. I don’t know, we’ll see.

I guess that’ll be it for me this time around. Maybe the Steelers can stun the Ravens (and the NFL) with a win, but, well, the tape will be running, so I’m going to enjoy this win we had. Oh, and to that old, senile analyst that said Ben Roethlisberger was overrated and Eli Manning wasn’t, he can smell my face. That goes to show what joke that profession is.

This song is still so beautiful.

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are said too much
But they're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

The one I think of when I hear those lyrics…

He's so adorable in that photo. Like a little boy who just won his first Little League game. Too cute.

I'm phasing.

Just Muddling Through
Mood:  cool
Wow. I don’t believe it. 2-5. This should have not happened. Just when you think it’s gonna get back on track, something else comes a long and throws a wrench in the plans. When the Steelers played Kansas City, Ben proved that he’s still the man to beat. The following week, when they played in Atlanta, he proved that he’s still the man to beat. Or just give a bloody concussion. It’s always him, isn’t it? The messed up thing is that he was so fucking awesome in the game, and then when he went down, Charlie Batch was so fucking awesome in the game! Their stats combined for 20/35, 344 yards, 5 touchdowns, and ZERO interceptions. Michael Vick threw 4 TDs and 2 INTs; he would have a career day against us. But we still fucking lost. Bloody fumbles, it’s gonna kill us. I had never been so angry after a loss then the one to the Falcons. The fact that three defenders crushed Ben, two had blatant helmet-to-helmet on him, and one of them had the audacity to talk shit. Oh no. I’m already out for blood on the Falcons’ team, but when I heard that, sirens and whistles went off in my head. It’s bloody personal and official now. I hate the Atlanta Falcons. They are the NFC equivalent to the New England Patriots. And I hope they never win a goddamn Super Bowl with their running back who takes snaps.

Then we lost to the Oakland fuck Raiders. I still think that Ben shouldn’t have played, I mean, two concussions in a four month span is terrible. He was obviously seeing things that weren’t really there since he threw four more interceptions, bringing his TD/INT ratio to 6/11. That is not mexcellent. And we have Denver coming up; no good is coming our way anytime soon. I feel so terrible for Ben. I really do, the media is taking shots at him, but the fans are the absolute worst. The man brought us to the AFC Conference game in his first two seasons, and gave us a Super Bowl win in his second season becoming the youngest Super Bowl winning quarterback EVER! Then he takes a face-plant on a car. The fact that Ben is even on a football field and not being pushed around in a wheelchair with a nurse wiping drool off of his chin (and I’d be extremely jealous of the nurse) is absolutely mind-boggling. It’s his third season. He’s gonna have some off games. Although I had hoped they wouldn’t all come so close together, but if you call yourself a Pittsburgh Steelers fan, you have to stand by him. I mean, he might have shaved five years off of his career already with the motorcycle accident, and we could be robbed of seeing him at his best level. Or, we could be at a slight bump in the road of a long and possibly great career. No one knows for sure, but everyone is acting so ridiculous. My one hope for Ben, that I haven’t gotten yet and I would hope that this is a goal for him as well, is for Ben to start 16 games in the regular NFL season healthy. And maybe some of them probable, with a thumb. I miss those days.

Tony Stewart is so inappropriate. He won, again this past Sunday. That means that out of the seven races in the Chase so far, he’s won two, and has had I think at least four top five finishes. If only he could have qualified for the Chase, he would be in such great shape to take the Cup again. I still hope Jimmie Johnson spins out and/or hits a wall in at least two out of the next three races. He cannot win. If he wins the cup, that means the Patriots will probably win the Super Bowl again, and this will have become worst season ever. And they’ll play the Falcons in the game. But I doubt that because the Bears crush this season. Totally crush.

I’m all alone; all by myself, there is no one here besides me. And that’s the way I like it. I haven’t talked to anybody in so long. And it’s so great. Well, last night I did read an e-mail from Lisa about how come she can’t ever reach me. That’s because that for the past two weeks, she keeps calling during Lost (best show ever). I’m not gonna talk on the phone during Lost. I should just send her my bloody schedule and it’ll show that I just don’t really have the time. Not that I’m working or anything, but if she’s still in school and working, our hours just won’t be compatible. Like I don’t know what time she gets off, but from 5:00 – 6:30, I’m doing dinner. I’m cooking just so I can feed my mother when she walks through the door. Then I usually try to take a shower by 8:00, so I can watch all my shows. And lately, for some unknown reason, I have been breaking out in hives every fucking night. So I take medication for that, and it causes drowsiness within two to three hours, so I’m going to bed by the latest midnight. When am I going to talk to her? I can’t do it while I’m cooking, if I get distracted, I’ll mess it up. And I really don’t like to talk on the phone while I’m eating. It’s rude to both parties. You hear people chewing in your ear on one end, and someone is disturbing your dinner on the other. And I think that talking on the phone while watching your shows you’re obsessed about it just so irksome. It gets right under my skin. When I saw her name come up during Lost twice, it was so hard to not answer the phone, “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?!” But some people might find that offensive. Plus, I just hate talking on the phone. I just don’t have anything to say to these people.

Typical conversation goes like this:
Them- Hey.
Me- Hey.
Them- Haven’t heard from you in a while, what have you been up to?
Me- Nothing.
Them- You’re not working?
Me- No.
Them- So what have you been doing?
Me- Stuff for my mom.
Them- Oh. Well maybe we can get together some time soon.
Me- Maybe, but I doubt it.
Them- Why not?
Me- I’m broke, so I can’t spend money.
Them- Oh. Well, talk to you later.
Me- Okay. Bye.

Lisa’s might be longer. I might talk about Ben and football stuff. But I know she doesn’t really care because she doesn’t watch football. In all honesty, I’m just done with it. I’m really never going to go out with them, because I can be miserable all by my damn self. My whole point is you’re supposed to want to be with your friends, not dread it because they can’t ever get their shit right. People are so inappropriate.

Now I have to talk about Lost (best show ever). It is very inappropriate. They killed off Mr. Eko. The only survivor left from the tail section of the plane crash is Bernard, and I haven’t seen him or his wife, Rose, this season other than that, Lost is so good. I’m gonna be in trouble after this week, it goes on hiatus until next year, but the next episode looks to be awesome as balls. What am I going to do with myself without this show? And no, the answer isn’t talk on the phone. I’ll figure something out.

Oh yeah, I have a new TV schedule now, so here it goes.

Sunday: Football
Monday: Football/Law & Order marathon (if I hate the teams playing or it’s a boring game)
Tuesday: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Wednesday: Lost (best show ever)
Thursday: Ugly Betty (hysterical)
Friday: Law & Order
Saturday: College Football

That rocks. Well I’ll start to wrap it up. My thoughts I leave with are Clear Channel sucks so much ass and holy crap, it’s November.

Oh and my new favorite song Snow Patrol Chasing Cars.

If I lay here,
If I just lay here,
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

You know for who I would.

Tell the haters to piss off, Ben. Remember what you got: a ring and THE trophy. The haters: Not so much.

I’m phasing.