???????????????
Mood:  quizzical
Now Playing: Windows Media Player
That's right, I decided to dust off the old music player and give it a go. I haven't listened to it in so long, but then after my computer crashed and my entire music library of at least 500 songs was wiped, I never really had a reason to use it much. Let's put it on shuffle and see what we get. Aerosmith Ragdoll.

Now, onto football. As I have stated, many times this season, the Bengals were not for real. Did we prove that? Fucking A! Did everyone hop off the bandwagon? Not quite. (Music break: Maroon 5 Shiver) I don't understand it, wasn't this supposed to be the test? Didn't every sports analyst say if we beat them, it'll prove that the Bengals were just capitalizing on an easy schedule? Steelers beat them 27-13, that's two touchdowns. Still, no respect. But who cares, we won, and I still say the Bengals aren't for real. The only other thing that blows me is that the Colts are 7-0, and most people are saying the only threats they have are the Patriots and the Bengals. Maybe because they play those two games away and the Steelers go to Indianapolis. Whatever, we'll give them hell as usual. (Music break: Green Day Holiday)

Ben is very special. He updated his blog twice this week, I didn't find out until today, but he put a picture up of his dog standing next to a pumpkin with "Zeus" carved in it. Oh, Ben. He's also trying to figure out how to put up photos he took from his phone. If he gets some of him, Hines, Bus, and other teammates, I'll be just fine. (Music Break: Natalie Cole This Will Be {An Everlasting Love})

Not too much happened this week. Except I work with the dumbest people ever. But so do a lot of people. (Music break: Catherine Zeta-Jones & Renee Zellweger Nowadays/Hot Honey Rag)

I can't believe I didn't say this last time I updated. Right, two weeks ago, I went out again with Lisa and Phil. We were going to the Boulevard. We said we were going to meet up at like 4:00, or something, I can't exactly remember the time. Tell me why Lisa and I were waiting at the station for 45 minutes for Phil. Same song, different verse say what? (Music break: Richard Gere We Both Reached For the Gun) But this was just at the station, because when Lisa's boyfriend came back from changing, we went out to eat, and we were almost finished by the time they called asking where we were. And people wonder why I'll just bugger off and do things on my own without inviting anyone. Because I can get what I need to do, in a short amount of time, and I don't have to wait on anything but my upcoming train.

Anyway, when we all finally get together, we went and say Domino. It wasn't bad, I think with a better director it could have been better, all the rewinding was annoying. Keira Knightly was pretty good in it, but I can't wait to see her in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. Actually, that's more about the man Johnny Depp than anyone else. Mmmmmmmmm, Johnny. (Music break: Harry Connick, Jr. Let It Snow)

Well, I can't really think of anything else to say, Steelers take on the Ravens at home on Monday Night Football. I'll have to find a tape to record it on. I may have the solution to the picture I tried to put up last week. I found a smaller size of it, and I hope that works, but I wish the normal one had worked last week, but if it works this week, then I'll be pacified. Here goes nothing...

Some cosmic force just doesn't want me to put the photo up. (Music break: Oasis Wonderwall) I'm trying to find a suitable replacement. It's really hard, plus I'm scared the rest of them won't show up.

Must not... make.... bad joke... about Pizza Hut. Even though he could call me, beep me, any time he wants to reach me whenever the hell he wanted to. It's still not fair, that other picture is just so awesome. (Music break: The Rolling Stones You Can't Always Get What You Want)

I'm phasing.

Always Look On the Bright Side of Life
Now Playing: Always Look On the Bright Side of Life
Always Look On the Bright Side of Life


Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best

And always look on the bright side of life (Whistle)
Always look on the light side of life (Whistle)

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle
That's the thing

And always look on the bright side of life (Whistle)
Always look on the bright side of life (Whistle)

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow
Forget about your sin
Give the audience a grin
Enjoy it!
It's your last chance anyhow

So, always look on the bright side of death (Whistle)
Just before you draw your terminal breath (Whistle)
Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh, and death's a joke
It's true
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you

And always look on the bright side of life (Whistle)
Always look on the right side of life (Whistle)

It just makes sense right now. Steelers are fucking 3-2. The city of Pittsburgh wants Tommy Maddox's head on a pike. And next Sunday, we have to play, and more importantly, have to win our upcoming game against the Cincinnati "not for real" Bengals. Ugh, this is going to be ugly. But like the song says, I'm trying to look on that bright side of life, but the song needs it's own paragraph.

Man, Sunday was so horrid. First, I was stuck seeing that boring ass game Browns vs. Ravens. Then, when that crap fest goes off, they show the Jaguars vs. Steelers. We go into overtime. We win the coin toss, had a GREAT kick-off return, Maddox fumbles a snap, doesn't fall on the ball, fucking turnover. Goddammit all. But then we got the ball back. Drove it into field goal range. They showed Jeff warming up. They SHOULD have put him in on the third down, in case of a bad snap. Alas, no, Maddox throws an interception, Jags run it in for the touchdown. The strangest thing is that this hurts almost worse than our loss to the worst team ever, who, by the by, are 3-3.

I've had four days in a row off. It's a total accident, but still, go me.

Now, on to the song. May be the greatest song ever. It's a combination of Monty Python and show tunes, how could I resist. I did a search on the show, and it turns out that the the official website plays a version of Eric Idle (I believe) singing it. I want the cast version, more than that, I wish they would release a DVD of the stage version with the original cast. Who knows, they could. I just have to keep an eye out for it.

I know this seems rushed, but I'm working a 2-6 today. I was supposed to work that on Monday, but what the hell ever. I don't care anymore, I don't like to think about it too much. But at least I'll still be home to watch Lost, best show ever.

Oh yeah, great Ben photo this week. Rumors are circulating that he's getting a big head and all that jazz. Well, it's only his second season, I'm sure a couple of losses under his belt, that aren't to Tom Brady will puncture that balloon. But last week doesn't count. He was injured. With that, I post one of the best pictures of him this week...

Once again, the photo I wanted will not upload. This is total crap, it's such a great pic, too. It reminds me of Shawn, because the way he's standing, it totally says, "I'm fucking Superman!" Awesome. So, I guess this'll have to do.

He went back to his old high school for homecoming. That's kinda cute.

I'm phasing.

Good News/Bad News
Mood:  crushed out
Now Playing: Launchcast
Good News: Steelers go 3-1 by defeating the Chargers 24-22. Bad News: Ben goes down with a knee injury. Bittersweet say what? (Launchcast music break: Guns N' Roses Don't Cry {Alt. Lyrics}. How eerily appropriate, poor Ben.)

Well, I can't say that the media didn't mention Ben this week. I just wish it had been under better circumstances. It is nice, however, that he's finally being recognized as a good quarterback. They always say stuff like, "Pittsburgh has the lowest passing offense in the NFL." So? When you got a running game like ours, we don't need to pass the ball so goddamn much. That's why Ben has the highest QB Rating in the NFL. I do love what J.A. Adande said about him on Around the Horn yesterday. He said that all the fantasy geeks don't like Ben because he doesn't put up big passing numbers. But, hello! He also doesn't have any interceptions. So screw them. Ben, you don't need to pass more than like 25 times a game.

But back to that game on Monday night. Man, was that a nail biter. (Launchcast music break: Maroon 5 This Love) Down to the last possession. But that's where the whole, "oh, now we realize that Ben is an awesome quarterback" comes in. Like after the Chargers scored a field goal in the fourth quarter, Ben executed a 3-play drive for 62 yards and a touchdown. That was greatness. But when he went down at the end, right after a completion to Antwaan Randle El, I was blown.

I guess that the best news is that he didn't break anything, it's just a hyperextended left knee (whatever the hell that means) and a bone bruise. He could be out a couple of games, but the season's not shot yet. But we have some brutal games coming up. Jacksonville this coming Sunday, then at Cincinnati (not for real). Then on Halloween, we face Baltimore on Monday night, they're really atrocious this year, and had a meltdown on Sunday, let's hope that continues. But our real test comes on Monday, November 28, when we go to Indianapolis to face the Colts. I will be so sick during that game. I'm dreading that like no other. (Launchcast music break: Bon Jovi Lay Your Hands On Me)

Umm, what else happened this week? Oh yeah, work. It's still whatever. One of my co-managers left to become manager of her own store. Now we have a new manager as well as a co-manager. After finally getting used to everything, I have to go through all this again. And before she left, Felicia screwed me on hours this week. That is so fucking lame. And it was so special, because when I called on Monday to ask for my schedule, the new co-manager, MaShawn (that's actually her name, I kept thinking it was LaShawn) gave me the wrong schedule, and read me last week's. Whatever. Hopefully I can just get through this.

Maybe, I'll be going out this weekend with Phil and Lisa and I think some other people. But I have no hopes really for it. I'm not really even that pressed to go, but you know, it's a chance to get out the house and show off some new clothes I bought. I know Phil invited me, Lisa, Dawn, and Rem. But there was also another e-mail address in there, and I can't figure out who it is. I think it's an R-Tech member. I know it's not Jas... er... Spineless. I'm thinking, maybe, Antoin. But don't hold me to that. We'll see.

I'm having trouble of which picture to post. Hmm... I'll have to go with...

I chose it because you can see his hair in it. It's hard as balls to find a picture of him during his second season without that damn hat on. It's really frustrating.

Well, I've got to be going, I'm sure there's another clip of Ben's injury that I could be grimacing at on ESPN or something.

Get well soon, Ben! Always look on the bright side of life. Stupid Monty Python song. More on this new obsession as it develops at a later date.

I'm phasing.

Just Muddling Through
Mood:  spacey
Now Playing: DC101
I wanted to come on yesterday, but I worked the 2-6 shift, so I got a bit off balanced. I do like working that sometimes, because at 6:00, you can just bugger off, where as today, I work 6-close, and even though it's shorter, it just feels so long. Plus it's Friday, and we're having a 50% off sale, so it's going to be hectic.

Football season officially got underway 3 weeks ago, and it's really weird. I don't know why, but it's so bizarre that Ben's not a rookie anymore. But he's doing really well. And I won't even discuss the blatant cheating that happened in last week's game against the most awful team to ever step on a field. Ugh, how I loathe them. And the media's non-stop hard-on for them. It's disgusting. But it's our bye-week, so I know the news on the Steelers will be scant. But we come back on Monday, October 10, to play the Chargers in San Diego. The first of three Monday night games for us this season. And we have an ESPN game against the Browns. I know we won't go 15-1, but hopefully we can win the AFC North again. Because really, the Bengals ARE NOT FOR REAL!!! I am so sick of hearing people say that, I don't hate them, but when you look at the statistics, of course it was easier for them to go 3-0 than us. Right now, the NFC North is the WORST division in the entire league, and two of their games first three games were against them. And the third was against the Browns.

All I'm saying is that you don't tell me that the Bengals are better than the Steelers when in the same week, they played the Bears, and we played those loser cheaters the PATRIOTS!! It's just not possible. And one of the worst bits is that the Bengals are most likely going 4-0. They play the Texans, who, according to most of the football power rankings, are the worst team in the NFL. As much as I'd love an upset for the Texans, I just don't know if that will happen.

This week, I actually went out with Lisa to Pentagon City. It was pretty cool, we ran into Phil at Borders. He said that the rest of the crew pretty much fell out with Spineless and his bastard brother. And that if I wanted to hang with them, I should contact them. But I just don't know, I mean, they're still not the most punctual of people. But it's usually pretty rare that I have a Saturday off. Even though I had the last two off, but the first one was an error. That stupid place changed my schedule, and didn't notify me. That week, I was supposed to work Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. Then my co-manager that does the schedules, Felicia, changes it and doesn't notify me. After the change, I was supposed to work Monday, Thursday, and Friday. And when I interviewed for the job, Felicia told me that it would be my responsibility to call in for my schedule. And I understand that completely, but if you just change it like that, I think a simple courtesy call is in order. But maybe that's just me.

Anyway, getting back to Wednesday. We went to Best Buy, and I got that Family Guy DVD about the untold story of Stewie. It was okay, it had some pretty funny moments, but ever since football came back, I don't watch The Simpsons, Family Guy, or American Dad like that. Except that with the last two, Adult Swim reruns the new episode every Thursday, which is nice. Oh, and the fact that now that Lost (bestshowever) and especially Desperate Housewives are back, nothing at 9:00 on Sundays even has a chance. I also bought Finding Nemo and the Fall Out Boy CD. They're playing Shantytown this year. I'd love to go, but this time it takes place in Germantown, which is in western Maryland, and I have no idea how to get there. Plus, I can't drive anyway. Maybe another year. And I'll actually have someone to go with.

Since I have a little change in the bank, I've also picked up my habit of online shopping. Like a needle to the veins, once you start, you gotta keep going. I love it. This time I bought something completely unnecessary. They had the cutest Grumpy Bear that has a little (fake) leather jacket and a red bandanna. It's Biker Grumpy Bear!! Oh, as soon as I saw it, I had to have it. I spotted it at least a week and a half ago, but they were all sold out. And they had that thing where you could put in your e-mail address, and it would notify you when they were back in stock. I got the notice Monday and it came in the mail today.

Too cute. I haven't the faintest idea as why I'm so addicted to that damn bear. And I'm still waiting to hear when his baby cub one comes back. Yeah, I need help. Bad.

But now on to my other addiction. The road is going to be a long one for my boo. But I see him EVERYWHERE!! It's so, I don't know. Like this one day, he was on some channel at least every half-hour, and it was great. But by the time I was going to bed, I was saying I'm almost sick of looking at him. And then I had it bad for him that night. But I think one of my favorite things to see him in is his Fathead commercial. It's so great, I gotta have one! A Fathead is this big, life-like sized poster of the players, or a really big helmet, but it's not like a poster, it's more like a cut-out. And it has adhesive on the back, so you just stick it on the wall. If I ever get Ben's and the helmet, I'd have to redecorate my wall. I'd love to get Hines Ward's as well, but with the helmet running at $95, and the players' at $145 (and that's on sale), I can only get what I really, really want. But I might by my mum one for Crimbo. I can't wait for that holiday, I love it!

It's supposed to look something like this when you put it up:

Well, that's it for me, hopefully I can get on here more often. We'll see, but of course, before I go, I have to put up my pic of Ben. The Fathead one doesn't count. It's from that atrocity of a game that happened on Sunday. But there's a specific reason I like this photo:

That's what I want him to look like when he yells at our children. I got it too bad for that boy right there.

I'm phasing.

Not Even A Week...
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Bowling For Soup
I don't even know what to say, man. This bites the big one. She's pissed off because I didn't tell her my step-dad called yesterday. Okay, normally when she comes home from work at 1:something, she takes a nap at about 3:00, after the second Matlock and One Life To Live. But she didn't do that this time. So when he called, he asked if she was home, because he went somewhere and if she wasn't then he should come home so I could have a ride to work. I said she was home, then he asked if she was asleep, and I said no. Okay? Okay. When I hang up, she asks if that's my job calling me to see if I can come into work, and I said no. That's the whole thing right there. Then, later, she wonders aloud where he is. I said he went to the store. I wasn't 100% sure, but I knew he wouldn't be home. She gets pissed, I forgot that she said that I should have told her that we needed sodas (not really, who needs soda? unless you have sugar problems, but you can get that other places) and toilet paper. And she's been frosty ever since. It's so sad that I try to keep track of the time between mood swings, or whatever she has. Even though I don't like my job, at least I don't have to totally hear her bitch about me being unemployed.

Since I'm already in this mood, I can now bitch about Ashley. Goddamn, what a "friend" she is. Like I said last entry, I just about had all of fucking FedEx Field wishing me a "Happy Birthday", and what do I get from her, when I finally pick up the phone? "Where the fuck have you been? You're always at work. I have to talk about my non-problem problems. Blah, blah, blah, me, me, me, blah, blah, blah, me, blah." Or something of that nature. When she finally shut the hell up, I told her that she was inappropriate, and that she should know about that by saying "fuck you". Then she says it back to me, and I'm like, no it was my birthday, and I don't even get a happy birthday, I get you bitching. WTFEver.

Man, I was so blown this morning. I forgot that she(there's that pronoun again) had Thursdays off. She comes storming in at like 10:15, and she did a little shopping. Today was Joe's last day at DC101. And I missed his goodbye. I'll have to wake up early Saturday morning and hope against hope that they play that on Best of.

Bye Joe!! Best of luck in Denver, and do the Steelers proud by representing God's Team* out there. I'm gonna miss Joe.

*Joe's words, not mine.

Well, there's only one thing that will help with this mood I'm in...

I was SO CLOSE to him. You can tell that he's grown his hair out from this one and the last one.

I'm phasing.

Greatest Night of My Life!!!
Mood:  party time!
Now Playing: DC 101
Man, yesterday was AWESOME! There's no doubt about it. I had the time of my life it was so great. I want to start at the beginning, but at the same time, I just wanna hit the highlights and talk about the game. But let's start yesterday morning...

I wake up, at 5:something, because I just couldn't sleep, I was too siced! I go to the bathroom, try to go back to sleep, but it keeps getting brighter and brighter, so at like 6:11, I turn on Elliot in the Morning, which was in "Best Of" mode, it'll be back Monday morning. It was quite funny remembering all those funny times. Then at 8:something, I have to go to the bathroom again, and this time, there is a green Magic 8 ball on the floor with a Post-It Note saying "Is it your birthday? (shake me)" on it. I give it a look over, and it's a Care-Bear Magic 8 ball, I know, it was green, so that meant it was Good Luck Bear, but it was still cute. Then I get hungry and go to the kitchen. First thing I notice was that the chair was against the wall, and it had bowls in it, then I finally look at the table and there's my cake, and two gift bags, and three cards all sitting on a Care-Bears table cloth. Grumpy was on it since it included all of them. It was great, I got some nice presents, as well. I got a new purse (yay!), a mug, a couple of feather pens, and a digital camera. It's not an expensive one, but it does the trick. Of course I took it to the game, but I also got an okay photo of the cake:

Then I come back up to my room with a bowl of cereal, and turn on the TV ("Best Of" gets kind of boring when you've already heard it.), and there's a Monk marathon on. So I'm just enjoying myself a lot. Then Mum calls and wishes me a "Happy Birthday", It's so great. Then at some point I shave and take a shower. I had just gotten almost dressed when she came home. We have lunch, and cake, which if you must get a cake from a supermarket, ask for "batter cream" icing. It's SO GOOD! Then my brother calls. I had just been dogging him out a few minutes before because he didn't send me a card, but it's all good. When 3:00 rolls around, I get ready.

We left at 4:00, the ride over is pretty uneventful until we get to the stadium, we got there pretty early, so it's a bunch of tailgaters and stuff. I wanted to walk around, and we were just sitting on these concrete dividers, when this guy calls us over. He asks what we're doing, and we say just looking around, and he invites us to their tailgate party. Awesome. And everyone there is so nice. We get to telling them that we're there celebrating my 21st birthday, and Andy (that's his name) was proud to have the honor of giving me my first legal beer. We hang there until about 6:30-6:45. It was just too great. Everyone was so nice. But while they were supposed to be grilling, Andy forgot the top of the grill. So they're all asking other people if they have extra grill tops. Finally, some woman had this instant-grill thing. I don't know, it was confusing. They take the top off of that and start grilling. The chicken was fabulous, but the kabobs, OMG, SPECTACULAR!! I had never had them before, and they said they marinated them in a Cajun sauce. Once the evening started winding down, we thanked them and made our way into the stadium.

Getting through security is pretty easy, being that we didn't have anything dangerous, just a water bottle that my mum had to have, but it was a pretty cool night yesterday, so she was good to go. Now is the fun part, not to say tailgating wasn't. We go down to the first level of the field to take photos, which so happened to be where the Steelers were doing their warm-up exercises. We just kept walking through rows and rows of seats until we were about half-way around the stadium. The game is starting, so we just sit in random seats in the middle of a row. On the floor, at the 45-yard line. Our tickets said we were supposed to be at the top level. Section 407. We're having a blast as the game starts, I'm jumping up yelling, but my mum says don't, until about 8:30, just in case whoever really has these seats show up and it'll look embarrassing that we have to move. So we're pretty hot, looking all around for people who keep coming down the stairs. Then, into the second quarter, these people come down the stairs, and they stop at our row, and they keep looking, and I see them go back up the stairs. I'm on the lookout if they come back down with security, sure enough, they do. We hightail it to the bathroom. And I was certain that we had to probably go to our real seats. But I make sure that I talk to security going out, asking them where the bathroom is, and my mum does the same. While we're in the bathroom, I think the Redskins got a touchdown, and my mum was like, "why do I always miss stuff". When we go back through the tunnel, the lady holds out her hand to see our tickets, and my mum says, "How come when I leave, I miss the good stuff?" And the lady was like, "I know, you just left and missed a first down." And she let us through with out looking for our tickets! Then we take some end seats on the 50-yard line, and we stay there for the rest of the game!! Even though I had to pee again sometime during half-time, I held it to the end of the game. That is good considering that I had two beers and a Sprite before the game.

Now for the details that I didn't really get to. *All said in one breath, very fast.* OMGICANTBELIEVEIWASSITTINGRIGHTBEHINDTHESTEELERSBENCHONTHE50YARDLINEINROW21!!! I was close enough to almost touch Ben. I took plenty of photos, although only 3 came out nice enough to share with anyone. Hopefully, all the ones I took on the normal camera come out good. I'm still freaking out that I got to see him in person, and not from the top level of the stadium. Believe you me, there is a MAJOR difference between "I was at the game" and "I was at the game, on the 50, behind my favorite team, and I saw my favorite player WAY closer than expected." Oh yeah, big difference.

Now to upload MY photos from last night before I go scouring the Internet for good ones.

I know it's blurry, but if you look at the camera man, and count three people over to the right, that's Ben! You can see the 7 on his jersey.

Towards the left of the photo, the lone guy coming back to the Steelers bench is Ben!

I don't know if I thought I saw Ben, or if I'm just taking a group photo, but it came out pretty nice.

I guess that'll be it for me this time. I know there are probably a million and one little details I'm forgetting, but all in all, I had a blast. And I noticed that I had the best birthday ever, without my friends. I think I should just cash my chips in, and become a hermit. Or just find better friends. But lets not let that spoil my birthday buzz from last night, or that could still be the beer.

Well, before I go, I think I should upload a Ben pic for myself...

If I just close my eyes
I reach out and touch the prize

I'm phasing and a happy 21st to me!

Do You Believe In Miracles?
Mood:  quizzical
That job is... I don't know. It's better than daycare, but I just don't exactly know what to say. Maybe it'll just take some getting used to, but I'm not trying to be there more than a couple of months. Not until at least I get some register time.

Once again, Tony Stewart is victorious! Winning his 5th out of the last 7 races, and extending his points lead by 105 above Jimmie Johnson.

I GOT THE TICKETS!! AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!! OMG! I'm just so boosted! My father actually came through on something that means the world to me at this moment in time. Next year, I'm asking for a car. I know that I have no chance in hell with him, but the fact that I'm just SO close. And if these tickets are really good, then I just might freak. The only thing is that I'm not opening them until the 26th, so that's the only time when I can look at them, then go try to find exactly where the seats are. Man, I should bring a sign or something. Plus, my mum wants to go as early as possible, so we'll probably get over there at like 4 something, and the game doesn't start until 8:00. Man, I'd love to spend all day there just to meet him. OMG, I can't believe I'm going to see my Ben-Ben in person, even if he's as small as an ant, I still got to see him. If someone had told me that I was going to be able to see him on my 21st birthday way back when I started to fancy him, I'd be all like, "whatever, get the hell out of here." But now? The biggest thing for me is to not get my hopes up. All I know now is that I'm going to see him. That holds no guarantees for anything else. I just don't want to go into the whole, "destiny" thing. Because it doesn't exist. Does it? Why am I lunching like this, it's not that serious. YES IT IS!! I'M GOING TO SEE MY BEN-BEN!!! SWEET!!!

This isn't love, this is destiny
Somewhere above, this was planned for me

I gotta stop.

SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE!!!

I'm phasing.

If I Could Just Close My Eyes, I'll Reach Out And Touch The Prize, Anybody Seen Her Around?
Mood:  not sure
Where the hell have I been?! A person must be crazy if they have to ask that about themselves. For some reason, I lost my passion to write. It started exactly a month ago. I wanted to say how devastated I was about the attacks in London, but I just couldn't do it. That was such a horrible day, I was so depressed. I even tried to watch Love Actually, but it just made me sad and sleepy. What the hell is wrong with people, some people need a hobby where they don't endanger anybody but themselves.

I got a job, just this past week. I'm not enthusiastic about it, but it'll do the trick until I can move on. It's so weird, I got it so fast because I was so recently employed. I still think about the kids at the center, but it's just the boss. Stupid cow. I don't start until Wednesday, but I'll try to enjoy the time away from her, yep it's that time again, as much as possible. I don't dislike her as much as I have in the past, but today, she's just been in this mood. Like a right, stroppy cow.

I still love Ben. And I'm even closer to getting those tickets!! My dad is trying to hook them up. I gotta call him tomorrow to find out for certain. I must go! I've never been so close to something, or really someone, that I've wanted, who was so unattainable, EVER! Even if he only looks at me for a nanosecond, just to scribble on my jersey, I can die happy. But not before I taste Jack Daniel's. Elliot was right about NASCAR, he could be right about JD, as well.

Speaking of NASCAR. TONY FUCKING STEWART!!! He's the hottest thing going in the sport!! YEAH!! He's won four out of the last six races, plus today, when he finally, FINALLY got a win at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. He's always wanted to win there! When he won on the Daytona track, Saturday, July 2, 2005, he said that he would rather win at Indy than the Daytona 500. Wow. Now, he got his wish, and hopefully next year, he can win the Daytona 500 next February. Tony is also our new Nextel Points leader. TAKE THAT JIMMIE JOHNSON!! I TOLD YOU TWO WEEKS AGO YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR WAS FULL OF SMOKE!!! BRING IT!!! Sorry, but it's something about auto racing that gets me pumped up. I haven't been like this since football season.

Which is a nice segue to say that IT'S FINALLY HERE!! Pre-season got on it's way last night with the annual exhibition game played in Tokyo. Falcons vs. Colts. Falcons won 27-21. I gotta print my schedules. Plus, there's a game tomorrow night, a game Thursday night, and another one on Saturday. I missed football so much.

Oh yeah, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince? Awesome! I still like Goblet of Fire best, but I think it's made a nice home at number 2. Even though it's really hard to rank them, I love them all. I can't wait until November 18, the Goblet of Fire movie will be out, and I can finally read that damn book again. I hate it when people keep talking about it, and I can't read it. But it's for my own good, because even if I get a good start in it, it'll take me months to finish it. But HBP was cool though, I guessed who the Half-Blood Prince was when Harry got his used Potions book. I don't know why, but it was so obvious. Who else was/is known for being so talented in that subject. Duh. I finished it in about nine hours, give or take because of interruptions. Then the re-read took me less than three days. There was a lot of stuff I skimmed over, because like I said, I inhale Harry Potter books the first time I read them. If only the postman had come a couple hours sooner, then I wouldn't have been up until 2:08 AM reading. But I knew I wouldn't have been able to sleep until I finished it. I don't care if I'm a geek or whatever, for once, it felt really great to be on par with the rest of the fans around the world. Plus, since I finished it so fast, no one could spoil the deaths.

The one thing I don't understand is how people got so pissed off when they talked about the death on message boards. First of all, if you haven't finished or read the book, and you go on sites like that, you deserve what you get. No matter how much you beg for people to always put "POSSIBLE SPOILER" in there topic title, without giving much away, there's always going to be dicks, or as message board people call them, "trolls", who want to ruin it for you. The only people they can be upset at is themselves. I'm sorry if it's harsh, but when dealing with Harry Potter, if you didn't finish or read the book yet, then you enter message boards at your own risk. I remember I said I wasn't going to touch the computer until I had finished that book.

Also, in the past month, I've started talking to Ashley at least 3 times a week. She's in England, and she loves it. And I'm sitting here, so jealous. But that's okay, because I'm starting to try to get something together in my life, and hopefully, one day, I'll not only be able to visit her over there, I can pick my life up, and be her flatmate, or something like that. I mean, she'll be over there for three years, and she's thinking of asking for an extension. SWEET! Man, the only thing I want more than to reside over there is Ben.

Well, it's getting pretty late, and I hope that there is at least one episode of Whose Line I can catch, but of course, I have to post a Ben photo, and my Tony Stewart Logo.

SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE!!!

I wanted to put up a different picture, but it's not acting right. Oh well, maybe next time. He still looks hot. Mmmmm.

I'm phasing.

Oh What A Night!
Mood:  vegas lucky
Man, last night's race was off the charts. It started over 2 1/2 hours late, and didn't go off until 1:40 AM. But it was worth it, because, for the second week in a row, Tony Stewart emerged victorious!! How awesome is that? I mean, when I found out that he won the pole, I was like, "good for him, but the pole sitters rarely win." Then, he led, and broke the record, for leading the most laps in a 400 mile race. I was still non-plussed, I mean, back in February at the Daytona 500, he led the most laps, and still lost. But he won it last night, it was unbelievable. The only thing that would have made it better is that, on the last restart, with nine laps to go, Kasey Kahne and Dave Blaney were in the 3rd and 5th position, respectively. But when all was said and done, Kasey Kahne, who, by the by, is totally hot, finished 16th, and Dave Blaney finished a lap down in 27th. And I was so rooting for that Jack Daniel's 07 car, too. Blaney was having such a good night, I don't know what went wrong. Ah well, maybe another night.

In other sports news, Roger Federer went on to win his third consecutive Wimbledon title by beating Andy Roddick, another hottie, for the second year in a row. I was kind of pulling for Roddick, but I wanted Federer to repeat, especially since Rafael Nadal didn't make it.

All this talk about hot guys, I should do a list. Unfortunately, the order of the men on that list would shift around something terrible.

I don't have any Ben news, except that his grandfather just passed away, and that is just so sad. My condolences to him and his family.

But, like always, I try to end on an up note, so with that:

WAR TONY STEWART!!

Tomorrow is Independence Day here Stateside, YAY!! It gives us an excuse to blow shit up and say 'ooh' and 'ah' after it. Even though it's so bizarre, the purchase of fireworks is illegal in like 30 states, but you can't set them off in the entire country. How bass-ackwards is that? Still, going to see the fireworks display in the nation's capital is pretty cool. And since I probably won't be on here for a couple of days, I'll just say 'Happy Fourth' to all my fellow Yanks out there.

But leaving off with a 'WAR TONY STEWART' is always better!

I'm phasing.

Guess Who's Back?
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Launchcast
Yeah, I made it there and back again. The trip had it's ups and downs, and knowing me, I'll mostly remember the downs. In fact, I should start with those, that way it doesn't seem like such a downer. My brother was cool for like a day and a half, then he became the biggest bitch in the world. Ugh, I could have stayed home for that headache. (Launchcast music break: Rolling Stones Shine A Light. It's still a great feeling that I can listen to this song anytime I want to.) I don't even want to get into all the stupid stuff he complained about. And his girlfriend was complaining right there with him. She was cool for a couple days longer than him, but still. What the hell happened to Southern hospitality? And their bed? OMG, I might has well been sleeping on a rock with a sheet on it. I woke up every morning with my back hurting. (Launchcast music break: Bon Jovi Bad Medicine) All of my clothes came home smelling like smoke, but not as bad as my mother's. And we had McDonald's at least 4 days, don't ever want it again. Except Egg McMuffins and hash browns, so good.

Now, for the good stuff. CATO!!! Best. Store. EVER!!! I spent over $300. I have to clean out my closet for all the stuff I got. I am going to be too cute this summer! The only thing bad about it was that we went on Monday, then after that, I was like, "now what?" (Launchcast music break: AC/DC Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap, I LOVE this song!) My nephew was cool, it was his parents that need a good ass-kicking. For a 2 1/2 year old, he talks a lot, and you can understand most of what he's saying. Man, if they get him potty-trained, he'll be good to go. And last, but not least, Steak N' Shake. Best. Milkshakes. EVER! I know I do that a lot, but I'll be damned if I had left that state without going to that restaurant.

But, it's great to be home. My step-dad was sad, but I was ready to go. For me, after we visited people, which took a week, there was nothing to do down there. (Launchcast music break: Aqua Barbie Girl) Now, I have to find another job, hopefully it will go better, since having been so recently employed.

Before I go, of course, I missed my Ben-Ben SO much:

Kiss, kiss boo! (Launchcast music break: Akon Lonely, this is my new jam!)

(Launchcast music break: Shakira Objection {Tango}) Oh yeah, before I go, I gotta say WAR TONY STEWART!!! Winner of the Dodge/Save Mart 350 today! Finally, his first win of the season!

WAR TONY STEWART!!!

I'm phasing.