Take My Pain Away
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Launchcast
(Opening Launchcast music break: Guns N' Roses Welcome to the Jungle, indeed) Well, this looks like this is going to be a pissed off rant today. (Launchcast music break Bon Jovi I'll Be There For You, I've heard this song like 8 times in less than 12 hours, this is awesome!) It's something that had been eating me up since last week, but I haven't had time to put it up until now. Okay, now I didn't post all of it, but I bought my mum a bunch of stuff for her birthday last Thursday. And everything was cool until the next evening. She got all pissy that I drank her pink lemonade. God, that just makes me so angry. I do all this shit for her, just like Christmas, because I finally have money, and I spend it on her, but she gets upset over stupid shit. And it's not just the fact that she gets upset over stupid shit, it's that she holds a grudge and doesn't want to speak to you over it. God, she needs to grow the fuck up! She's 52 for fuck's sake!

See, like two weeks ago, whatever day the Friday after my trip out with Lisa and them happened, I was talking to Lisa on the phone about stuff like this. I was telling her how married people, or just people in relationships in general, argue over the stupidest stuff, like who forgot to turn the light off in the kitchen or who forgot to put the garage door down. And Lisa found this absolutely hysterical, but she doesn't know that it's so fucking true. (Launchcast music break: Poison Every Rose Has It's Thorn) Plus I realized that for just bit over two weeks, my mother has had a chip on her shoulder about a parking space and a lemonade. Dude, come on! I mean, this should be certifiable!

I think one of the things that really gets up my nose about it is that Lisa and I were talking about how you should never go to bed angry at a person, because you just feel really horrible and stuff. And it got me thinking that like while she was in Atlantic City (some friends took her for her birthday), what if something had happened to me, and she ended up feeling like a right ass because she was pissed off at me over a fucking lemonade. (Launchcast music break: Rolling Stones You Can't Always Get What You Want, I'm getting some good shit today, hope that doesn't jinx it!) It also made me think back to the Ashley/Phillip situation.

That's how the whole "married people/stupid arguments" came up. See, we were really trying to hammer out if this is a good idea, and, well, our conclusion came out to be sort of a "no". I mean, they already have so much against them. First of all, they are twenty years old. Ash turned in December and Phil I think in February. (Launchcast music break: Aerosmith Rag Doll) Next, marriage is hard enough. Not only will they have to deal with all the marriage crap, at a young age nonetheless, they'll have to deal with it, in a new country. Now, I'm trying my hardest to go to England, but see, I've done some type of research on it. I put in some sort of effort into learning something about a place that chances are, I may never see. That would suck so much. I didn't say at the time, but Ashley dragged us in and out of every book store looking for a kind of an American-British dictionary. I know a great website. I emailed her the link, I hope she got it, she can buy a book from it. When it all boils down to it, I'd be more ready to go than they are. But one of the biggest problems is that they haven't even told their parents! But here's where I'm on the fence. I'm not 100% sure, but I think that Ashley is an only child, or at least her mother's. Ashley is having a hard time making a decision on whether to tell her mother about this. On one side, I said she should. If her mother is against it, at least she has/had the option of going or not. But on the other side, I could see not even wanting to tell her. Looking at the beginning of this entry and in the archives, it's very obvious that my mother and I don't have the best relationship, and in like 80-85% of my daydreams when I marry Ben, or the flavor of my month, but I still love Ben (I had to throw that in), my mother isn't there. I don't see her being involved in my future. Not even a visit with my family. It's wrong, I know, but these are my fantasies. But getting back to the subject, I'm on the fence with this. If Ashley asked what would I do, I could only tell her that my answer would depend on how my mother and I were doing for that hour. (Launchcast music break: Eminem I'm Shady) And from what I've heard, Phil's father is just really scary. The conclusion that Lisa and I came to was that they may be getting married because they're scared that while there's an ocean between them, the other will find someone else. But that's just what we think, they could really in love, and think it could work. Lisa gave it less than two years. LOL! I said maybe a bit longer if a kid comes into play. (Launchcast music break: Spice Girls The Lady is a Vamp, one of my favorites!)

(Launchcast music break: AC/DC You Shook Me All Night Long)This weekend wasn't that bad, mostly because she was in another state four hours away. I got my step-dad out on the Metro. He enjoyed himself. I kept telling him that it wasn't hard, you just have to know where you want to go. He liked Pentagon City. While we were there, I got another DVD player. It's not as sexy as my old one, but what can you do. I also got Clerks X and Love Actually on DVD. Awesome additions to my growing collection. I have some quality stuff. Take that Marcus! He may have more DVDs than I do, but there's a better chance that I'll watch most of mine. The only ones I probably won't are the wrestling ones. But you never know, a really long, boring Sunday, like the one coming up, I could get desperate. (Launchcast music break: Boyz II Men Water Runs Dry)

I am really starting to fear for my sanity. I watched almost all of the race on Sunday. It was awesome! I was really into it, too. The end of it was jive nose to nose. I think it was also really great for me because finally, the Jack Daniel's 07 car finished top ten. So they were forced to show it a whole bunch. Normally, they hate on it, and never show but a split second of it. (Launchcast music break: Catherine Zeta-Jones Overture/All That Jazz) That car is so beautiful.

Classic.

I still dislike ABC Family. They are so stupid. Even though they took out the 9:30 Whose Line Is It Anyway?, it was the longest 30 minutes ever. They put some stupid show about getting married in Las Vegas in it's time slot. (Launchcast music break: Jordan Knight Give It To You) Why can't that show come on Tuesdays? A really awesome thing they did was that they finally, FINALLY showed the Whose Line? where they played "News Flash" where Colin was on the green screen! But after pining for it for so long, the one with Ryan is way funnier, which they showed the episode right before that one.

Someone also called last night like 9:45. That had better not been Marcus. OMG! Like I said on Wednesday, he called last Monday, we went out Tuesday, but then he called again last Thursday! That's three days out of a week. There was nothing left to say to him on Thursday. But the stupid thing was that I missed the phone last night, and I had been in the kitchen several times, each time telling myself to get the phone. I didn't really want to talk on it anyway.

(Final Launchcast music break: Lumidee Never Leave You {Uh Oooh, Uh Oooh}, I love the Uh Oooh song!) That'll be it for me I guess, I think the length of this one can only be rivaled by the one around the time when I first saw Love Actually. And I was irritated with Marcus around that time, as well. Coincidence?

I'm phasing, and apparently bitching.

It Never Ends...
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Launchcast
I had a different title for that last night, but I forgot it. I need to start writing them down.

How is it that every time I go out, someone has invited themselves on my trip? Yesterday, I went to Pentagon City and Marcus came along. See, what happened was that Marcus actually called on Monday night, which totally ruined my TV watching schedule, but more on that later (stupid ABC Family). I mentioned that I was going out the next day to buy The Incredibles (Launchcast music break: Guns N' Roses Think About You, it sounds A LOT like Nightrain, which is a really awesome song.) And he was all like, "OMG, you're going out? What time do you plan on going? Where do you want to meet?" But you know, whatever. I mean, I had fun and stuff, and we hadn't been out since like July when we went to go see Spider-man 2.

(Launchcast music break: AC/DC T.N.T.)While I was out yesterday, I picked up three CDs, a pair of jeans, two bras, my mum and brother's birthday cards, another Grumpy (it's my obsession), a laser-disc cleaner that didn't work on my DVD player, so I'll have to buy another one, and Miss Congeniality. Man, my mother is going to have an awesome birthday tomorrow. But she said that if I work a couple more weeks, I can send them to Alabama. I don't think so. I keep wanting to save my money, but I just end up spending it. I told my step-dad that I was going to get some Post-It Notes and stick on her presents "Happy Birthday", "Happy Mother's Day", and "Merry Christmas".

The three CDs I bought were Franz Ferdinand, The Killers, and Jet. I haven't had a chance to listen to the entire albums yet, but I'm just trying to have some fresh music to balance out all the old and/or out-dated stuff. (Non-Launchcast music break: Guns N' Roses Nightrain, that other song made me want to listen to it.)

There was other stuff I wanted to talk about, but due to unforeseen circumstances, I couldn't finish this earlier, and now all my time is running out.

Oh yeah, when Marcus called on Monday night, we watched wrestling. It's still stupid. See, when I say that he disturbed my normal TV schedule, he interrupted my three hours of Whose Line Is It Anyway? I wouldn't have been as pissed off if I hadn't found out that next Monday, ABC Family is revamping it's Monday night line up. I'm so very upset. I guess I'll have to find something else to watch on Mondays. Is it football season yet?

I'm phasing.

I Got Nothing
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: Launchcast
(Opening Launchcast music break: Brian McKnight One Last Cry) Man, I had so much fun last Saturday. It's taken me a week to recover. Well, no, I've just been really lazy this week. My mother's in a mood or something. It all started over a parking space. I think it might be because her birthday is on Thursday, and she's getting old. Whatever. My step-dad said she's beginning to get like my grandmother. Duh. Oh well, I got her birthday presents, and if she doesn't want them, then oh well.

But, let me talk about Saturday. Okay, Brian had to drop out for unknown reasons, so at first it was just Ashley, Lisa, and me. It was so good to just go and be silly. I really miss high school. Then, while we were at Greenbelt, we invited Phillip and Heather (the other bridesmaid). We met up with them at L'Enfant Plaza. Then we invited this guy named Chris, who reminds me so much of Amar, and we met him when we got to Springfield. (Launchcast music break: Marilyn Manson Sweet Dreams) Dude, I spent so much money, but I don't care, it was awesome. And Heather was so nice. I love her, if only she had gone to school with us. But something Ashley said kind of made me think. On the way to Springfield, she said something like, "See this trip worked out. Will you be ready next time I call you to go somewhere?" And the word 'spontaneous' was in there as well. The thing is that this was MY trip. You invited yourself and your other friends. I'm not mad, it was cool and all, but there was no spontaneity on my part. I had already planned to be out. But whatever. I guess all our trips will have to get together like that, or I'll have to buy a nice hat so I can just throw it over my head next time she calls.

I updated my music. I bought Green Day American Idiot, Maroon 5 Songs About Jane, The Chicago soundtrack, and Bon Jovi Crossroad. Very excellent selections I think. I know that I already had the Green Day album downloaded, but the guy forgot one track, or I maybe forgot to download it, I don't know, but I'm satisfied with it. I listened to the Maroon 5 one up until the eight track, Sunday Morning, so I have to give the rest of it ago soon. And I think that it's nice to be able to listen to I'll Be There For You without having to fire up the old computer, even though I can't look at photos of Ben-Ben without it. And I can listen to Lay Your Hands On Me without having to go to that Spanish site. (Launchcast music break: AC/DC You Shook Me All Night Long)

My Ben-Ben is going to visit troops in Afghanistan. If anything happens to him, I will hold Tom Brady and the NFL personally responsible. The news on him was scarce, my heart nearly jumped out of my chest when I saw his picture on the front page of the Steelers website.

He's so adorable. How could I not love him?

Oh yeah, the covers of the Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince were released on Tuesday (sweet). People are actually hating on the American cover, I think it's awesome! Oh well, you can't please everybody. Anyway, Mugglenet has a countdown clock you can put in your blog. I'll probably have to put it up every few entries so it can stay on the first page. So, here goes nothing:



I'm phasing.

Longest. Week. EVER!!!
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Launchcast
This week just seemed to drag on FOREVER!!! It just wouldn't end! And I hope I'm not getting sick, there's some mysterious disease floating around the center. Five kids went home with fevers. And this very "special" child had ringworm. And he kept wanting to hug me. Why the hell would someone send a child to school and daycare with fucking ringworm?! I absolutely cannot get sick! I must go out tomorrow. My mother is getting on my last nerve. But that's because we spend too much time together. We even work together, and while having money is good, working with your mother, than having two car rides with her is just madness. (Launchcast music break: Guns N' Roses Sweet Child O' Mine) Plus, I haven't seen Lisa since like right after my birthday, I haven't seen Brian since Fairmont's 2003 graduation almost 2 years ago, and Ashley has invited herself and I don't remember if I saw her at graduation or not. But it will be really nice to go out with people I haven't seen in a really long time. That aren't named Marcus.

I have really big news at the end of this, so I'll talk about the Marcus thing. Okay, like we talked last Thursday, for barely an hour, and he said he would call right back, and normally he will, but on that day he didn't. And I was annoyed because if I had known he wasn't going to call back, I could have finished what I had started much earlier and gone to bed, because I was really tired that day. But I don't know if he called yesterday, because I was on the phone with Lisa. It has something to do with the big news. But someone called the house at about 10:00 PM on Monday. I hope it wasn't Marcus, we haven't watched wrestling in so long, what would we have talked about. I don't know what it is that's aggravating me about him, but whatever.

Okay, here's the big news. Ashley called yesterday and told me she was getting married. Wow. And she said I'm a bridesmaid. Normally I would have tried to get out of that, but she and Phillip don't have any money, so this is about the be the cheapest, most ghetto wedding. And I think that it's gonna be AWESOME!! I mean, I won't be wearing some ugly dress, the most she can ask for is that all three of the bridesmaids (me, Lisa, and some other girl) wear the same color. (Launchcast music break: Rolling Stones Brown Sugar. How did they make a song about me so many years before I was born? ) I also told her that she better register at Target or something, because we are some broke mofos. Shit, half the guest list will still be a teenager. I told her that her silverware is going to be those plastic ones people use on picnics. (Launchcast music break: Eminem Till I Collapse)

Alright, I got to go, Degrassi comes on in 10. And I have to take another shower today because I have the Black Plague or something from this center.

I'm phasing.

I Said I'd Be Back!
Mood:  party time!
Now Playing: DC101
Go Ben-Ben,
It's your birthday,
We gon' party like it's your birthday,
We gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birthday!

Happy 23rd Birthday Ben-Ben!!

Another special birthday shout-out goes to Yahoo! I had no idea it was 10 years old.

Is it football season yet?

I'm phasing.

Meh
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: I'll Be There For You
Man, I can't wait for Saturday. This weekend sucked and went by too fast. But it would have been better if my DVD player worked.

Work was okay. On Friday, there were only 12 children there, and today there were like 14. That is very awesome. I hope it snows like 8+ inches so the center is closed.

Something in my life is not right anymore. Last night I watched the Academy Awards. That is terrible!! I never watch award shows, but last night was good. Jamie Foxx won, even though I wanted Don Cheadle to win. But that was heavily Elliot influenced.

I'm getting that old unsettled feeling again. I get it every once in a while. It's this feeling like something is going to happen, I don't know what it is, but it's going to shake up my life, relationship wise. I mean like with my friends and stuff. I'm going to start shying away from Marcus and begin gravitating towards someone else. It might be Lisa, or it might not be. I have no idea, but it will happen soon. I mean, the thing with Marcus is that like, I don't know we're not clicking together anymore. Our common ground is thinning out. It used to be wrestling was just about everything, and then the other stuff fell into place. Now it's like totally different. Whatever.

On Friday, I talked to Lisa for a hot minute, until my Benadryll had me loopy. We were coming up with the most ghetto names we could possibly find. We actually came up with some really good ones. And while I highly doubt anyone reads this, I must not post them just in case anyone does. But a funny revelation came about on Friday. Okay, Lisa is involved with all this boy drama, which I would kill to have a fraction of, she told me about the guy I used to fancy in high school. I was absolutely mad about him. It seems that he became her knight in shining armor and helped her out in a situation with some of her boy drama. Anyways, he gave her a ride home, and I don't know if this discussion came up on the ride home or before they left school, but she said that the topic of me came up. Oh goody! I don't know the exact things they discussed, but I do know that he said that he would have dated me in high school if I hadn't been all up on him screaming yeah. But see, I already knew this. My thing is, when I finally calmed down in the 12th grade, I was much more relaxed around him, why didn't he ask? I mean, I knew he liked me. Everyone knew it. And the final nail in the coffin for me was when he got upset that I went to prom without him. One of the greatest/saddest moments ever for me. God, if we could have just gotten over all the BS, we could have been over and done by now. I hate having my "what ifs". I have too many of those, and then to actually hear this just makes you want to pull your hair out. Oh well, I can always use this on my road to him. Whoever the hell that is. But I know who I'd like it to be...

I gotta jet, my 3 hour block of Whose Line Is It Anyway? starts in like 5 minutes. I'm starting to really be addicted to that show again.

I'll try to show up Wednesday, even if it's only one line.

I'm phasing.

Losing My Sight, Losing My Mind, Wish Somebody Would Tell Me I'm Fine
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: DC 101
I've used that title before, but the last time, I was really upset about something. This time, it's more like really weird things are happening.

For example: I've already touched on that I used to despise football, and now I'm addicted to it. And I've also bought a TV show on DVD. But I think what happened yesterday tops them all. I watched Daytona 500. I know, I know, it's just that Elliot is always hyping it, and there wasn't dick on yesterday, like all Sundays, so I just thought I'd give it a go. It was kinda okay. What am I talking about? I was so into it, it was scary. Plus they had some AWESOME crashes in it. I've started to think of all my interests in life, and I think I may need to get a psychiatric evaluation.

The worst thing happened on Friday. My DVD player broke. How will I watch Bullshit? Among other things. I have to get a better job, there's a bunch of other crap I need to buy.

I guess a balance to Friday, is that on Tuesday and Wednesday, I talked to Lisa, and we're trying to get a trip together to go to the mall. We're looking for something very specific, that I need. I sort of can't wait, I'm a bit nervous, but I'm sure it will be worth it. Lisa also got Brian involved. I'm kind of embarrassed, but he was really cool about it, so that's okay. It most likely will happen the first weekend in March. I'm counting the days, you have no idea how badly I need this. Let's just say that it will help me with my Ben problem.

Speaking of my favorite person, I've seen him a lot this past week. The NFL Network had a making of the Tomorrow commercial. And of course, I taped it. It was so funny. I was cracking up for 30 minutes straight. Of course they had Ben at the end of it. He's so funny. When he was getting his makeup on, he said, "I'm going to Hollywood and become the next American Idol." Don't quit your day job, boo. He was so cute, too. He was walking along the beach and... There's just no way to finish this sentence, except maybe that I felt that I should have been walking hand in hand with him.

By the by, that big ass picture in my last entry is my new desktop. I love turning on my computer. It turns me on at the same time. Yeah, I'm having major issues. And I spell issues R-O-E-T-H-L-I-S-B-E-R-G-E-R!

I'm phasing.

Quid Pro Quo
Mood:  cheeky
Now Playing: Maroon 5
They need a "horny" emoticon. I don't have much time, but I will say that this may be Ben's "O" face:

But here's the picture that gets mine:



That is huge!

I'm phasing.

That's Bullsh*t!
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: Launchcast
(Opening Launchcast music break: Poison Something to Believe In) Penn & Teller: Bullshit is so AWESOME!! One of the best parts was that it arrived on Wednesday! I was so surprised. I had planned on like watching it on Friday and Saturday if it had arrived on Friday, but I just couldn't help myself and dove into it right away. But I wouldn't have been able to watch it like I would have wanted to on Friday because Marcus called. And I had just talked to him the day before! (Launchcast music break: Elton John Sorry Seems to Be The Hardest Word) I know, I've gotten better at talking to Marcus without getting annoyed, but we talked Thursday night, until like 1:00 AM! There was really nothing else to talk about the next day. And there was really nothing on television, so the topics of conversation were a bit scant.

Anyway, getting back to my favorite show that is not Lost or Desperate Housewives, Penn & Teller: Bullshit was just so great. I watched the second season first, since I had seen the first one. It was great. Man, I can't wait until the third season starts, even though I don't have Showtime, but the sooner it starts, the sooner it will be on DVD. It's kind of funny, I noticed that Bullshit gets renewed one season at a time. Now, I try not to just totally believe everything, but I try to weigh the little bit of facts that P&T give, but it's really hard not to side with them when on most subjects they can give facts and the people their opposed to can't. I think the most important thing about this show to me is to think for myself and not to believe anything someone tells me. Like when Marcus saw Fahrenheit 9/11, he took it for just about 100% truth. Now, I'm not even interested in seeing it, even though we have it somewhere around here on bootleg DVD, and if you really dislike George W. Bush, then you'll want to believe it, but come on, you have to realize that somewhere in the movie, some of the "facts" in the movie are half-truths. The funny thing is that Marcus was trying his hardest to sell me on Fahrenheit 9/11, and I feigned belief, but I didn't have the heart to say, "Are you sure? Isn't there a way that Michael Moore couldn't have lied and edited it to suit his opinion?" But I just didn't have the balls. Ah well, fuck me.

Lost was amazing this week. They lied when they said a major character was dying, unless they mean before the season ends, because Ethan was a secondary character. Lots of people were complaining that it wasn't right that Charlie killed him. WTFEver! That was great. In fact, I don't think the death was cruel enough. It's just a fictional show, so I can have thoughts like that. I think the fuss is that Charlie killed him before Ethan had a chance to say anything. But I don't think that he would have said why he kidnapped Claire, who by the by, has amnesia, so she doesn't remember anything before the crash. (Launchcast music break: Motley Crue Home Sweet Home*) When they set up the ambush to capture Ethan, at first I thought it wasn't going to work, because that mofo is inhuman. He's abnormally strong and fast. But Dr. Jack kicked his ass! I kept yelling kick him in the head, but that's when Charlie showed up and shot him. But someone lied. They said that this week, we would have found out why Charlie kidnapped Claire. The only thing anyone knows is that it mostly has something to do with her unborn baby. I can only hope that Desperate Housewives can be as entertaining, because Lost kicked it's ass last time.

*Motley Crue shot a new video for Home Sweet Home. It was alright, I can only hope that it means that at least VH1 will start playing the video. They changed the piano outro a bit. I was kind of miffed at it, but whatever, it's still great.

Well, I don't really have anything to say about Ben because I haven't heard anything about him. I know, it sucks, and after tomorrow, the Pro Bowl, football season is officially over. What am I going to do with myself?

I'm phasing.

Tomorrow, We're ALL Undefeated Again
Mood:  cheeky
Now Playing: Launchcast
Best. Commercial. EVER!!!! Ever? Forever ever?! FOREVER EVER!!! It was so sad at first, I didn't even see it on Sunday. Then I was listening to Dirt yesterday morning, and Diane saw it, and I was SO BLOWN!! But today, the NFL Network website decided to finally put it up. It is nuts. At this time, you can only stream it, but hopefully I'll be able to download it. Also, at 12:30 PM, the NFL Network is showing some of the Super Bowl commercials, then I can record it. Ben is SO cute in it. He only says one word, and that's "Joe"! (Launchcast music break: Guns N' Roses You Could Be Mine! This song never gets old.) Ben was really sad in it, because he didn't make it to the big game. But Joe Montana is the biggest bama ever. He was so funny! This reggae band started singing Tomorrow, and he said, "That's my jam!" I was rolling. That is too funny.

That was the worst Super Bowl. Stupid Patriots. And what the hell was up with the Eagles? T.O. was the only one on the team that looked like he showed up to play. And he broke his leg 6 1/2 weeks earlier. And the offense made way too many mistakes. But just like the ad said, "Tomorrow, We're ALL Undefeated Again". Man, I can't wait for next football season.

Yesterday, I did something really good, but I kind of thought I would never do. I had kind of told myself that I would never buy a TV show on DVD, but when I found out a certain show came out with there second season, I just had to. My absolute, most favorite show on Showtime, Penn & Teller-Bullsh*t's second season has come out on DVD!! I had seen the first season, but before I had a chance to see the second one, we got rid of all our movie channels except for HBO and Encore. (Launchcast music break: Limp Bizkit Faith. Some covers suck, but this one was AWESOME!! It's just about everything a cover should be.)You have no idea how much I loved this show. I ordered the two first seasons off of Amazon yesterday. It's due to come Friday, Saturday, or Monday. Hope for Friday. (Launchcast music break: Bon Jovi Bad Medicine. I've noticed they play this a lot when I'm doing my blog.)

I gotta jet, it's almost 12:10, and there's a couple of things I gotta do before I get off before 12:30. But before I go, I have to upload my new favorite picture of Ben. It's better than the fashion show one. It's the one where he got his 2004 Pepsi NFL Rookie of the Year Award. Even though the "O" face one is hard to top, he's just too good looking in this photo. I even bit and got rid of my Grumpy Bear Desktop and switched it to this.

I'm phasing.