Losing My Sight, Losing My Mind, Wish Somebody Would Tell Me I'm Fine
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: DC 101
I've used that title before, but the last time, I was really upset about something. This time, it's more like really weird things are happening.

For example: I've already touched on that I used to despise football, and now I'm addicted to it. And I've also bought a TV show on DVD. But I think what happened yesterday tops them all. I watched Daytona 500. I know, I know, it's just that Elliot is always hyping it, and there wasn't dick on yesterday, like all Sundays, so I just thought I'd give it a go. It was kinda okay. What am I talking about? I was so into it, it was scary. Plus they had some AWESOME crashes in it. I've started to think of all my interests in life, and I think I may need to get a psychiatric evaluation.

The worst thing happened on Friday. My DVD player broke. How will I watch Bullshit? Among other things. I have to get a better job, there's a bunch of other crap I need to buy.

I guess a balance to Friday, is that on Tuesday and Wednesday, I talked to Lisa, and we're trying to get a trip together to go to the mall. We're looking for something very specific, that I need. I sort of can't wait, I'm a bit nervous, but I'm sure it will be worth it. Lisa also got Brian involved. I'm kind of embarrassed, but he was really cool about it, so that's okay. It most likely will happen the first weekend in March. I'm counting the days, you have no idea how badly I need this. Let's just say that it will help me with my Ben problem.

Speaking of my favorite person, I've seen him a lot this past week. The NFL Network had a making of the Tomorrow commercial. And of course, I taped it. It was so funny. I was cracking up for 30 minutes straight. Of course they had Ben at the end of it. He's so funny. When he was getting his makeup on, he said, "I'm going to Hollywood and become the next American Idol." Don't quit your day job, boo. He was so cute, too. He was walking along the beach and... There's just no way to finish this sentence, except maybe that I felt that I should have been walking hand in hand with him.

By the by, that big ass picture in my last entry is my new desktop. I love turning on my computer. It turns me on at the same time. Yeah, I'm having major issues. And I spell issues R-O-E-T-H-L-I-S-B-E-R-G-E-R!

I'm phasing.

Quid Pro Quo
Mood:  cheeky
Now Playing: Maroon 5
They need a "horny" emoticon. I don't have much time, but I will say that this may be Ben's "O" face:

But here's the picture that gets mine:



That is huge!

I'm phasing.

That's Bullsh*t!
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: Launchcast
(Opening Launchcast music break: Poison Something to Believe In) Penn & Teller: Bullshit is so AWESOME!! One of the best parts was that it arrived on Wednesday! I was so surprised. I had planned on like watching it on Friday and Saturday if it had arrived on Friday, but I just couldn't help myself and dove into it right away. But I wouldn't have been able to watch it like I would have wanted to on Friday because Marcus called. And I had just talked to him the day before! (Launchcast music break: Elton John Sorry Seems to Be The Hardest Word) I know, I've gotten better at talking to Marcus without getting annoyed, but we talked Thursday night, until like 1:00 AM! There was really nothing else to talk about the next day. And there was really nothing on television, so the topics of conversation were a bit scant.

Anyway, getting back to my favorite show that is not Lost or Desperate Housewives, Penn & Teller: Bullshit was just so great. I watched the second season first, since I had seen the first one. It was great. Man, I can't wait until the third season starts, even though I don't have Showtime, but the sooner it starts, the sooner it will be on DVD. It's kind of funny, I noticed that Bullshit gets renewed one season at a time. Now, I try not to just totally believe everything, but I try to weigh the little bit of facts that P&T give, but it's really hard not to side with them when on most subjects they can give facts and the people their opposed to can't. I think the most important thing about this show to me is to think for myself and not to believe anything someone tells me. Like when Marcus saw Fahrenheit 9/11, he took it for just about 100% truth. Now, I'm not even interested in seeing it, even though we have it somewhere around here on bootleg DVD, and if you really dislike George W. Bush, then you'll want to believe it, but come on, you have to realize that somewhere in the movie, some of the "facts" in the movie are half-truths. The funny thing is that Marcus was trying his hardest to sell me on Fahrenheit 9/11, and I feigned belief, but I didn't have the heart to say, "Are you sure? Isn't there a way that Michael Moore couldn't have lied and edited it to suit his opinion?" But I just didn't have the balls. Ah well, fuck me.

Lost was amazing this week. They lied when they said a major character was dying, unless they mean before the season ends, because Ethan was a secondary character. Lots of people were complaining that it wasn't right that Charlie killed him. WTFEver! That was great. In fact, I don't think the death was cruel enough. It's just a fictional show, so I can have thoughts like that. I think the fuss is that Charlie killed him before Ethan had a chance to say anything. But I don't think that he would have said why he kidnapped Claire, who by the by, has amnesia, so she doesn't remember anything before the crash. (Launchcast music break: Motley Crue Home Sweet Home*) When they set up the ambush to capture Ethan, at first I thought it wasn't going to work, because that mofo is inhuman. He's abnormally strong and fast. But Dr. Jack kicked his ass! I kept yelling kick him in the head, but that's when Charlie showed up and shot him. But someone lied. They said that this week, we would have found out why Charlie kidnapped Claire. The only thing anyone knows is that it mostly has something to do with her unborn baby. I can only hope that Desperate Housewives can be as entertaining, because Lost kicked it's ass last time.

*Motley Crue shot a new video for Home Sweet Home. It was alright, I can only hope that it means that at least VH1 will start playing the video. They changed the piano outro a bit. I was kind of miffed at it, but whatever, it's still great.

Well, I don't really have anything to say about Ben because I haven't heard anything about him. I know, it sucks, and after tomorrow, the Pro Bowl, football season is officially over. What am I going to do with myself?

I'm phasing.

Tomorrow, We're ALL Undefeated Again
Mood:  cheeky
Now Playing: Launchcast
Best. Commercial. EVER!!!! Ever? Forever ever?! FOREVER EVER!!! It was so sad at first, I didn't even see it on Sunday. Then I was listening to Dirt yesterday morning, and Diane saw it, and I was SO BLOWN!! But today, the NFL Network website decided to finally put it up. It is nuts. At this time, you can only stream it, but hopefully I'll be able to download it. Also, at 12:30 PM, the NFL Network is showing some of the Super Bowl commercials, then I can record it. Ben is SO cute in it. He only says one word, and that's "Joe"! (Launchcast music break: Guns N' Roses You Could Be Mine! This song never gets old.) Ben was really sad in it, because he didn't make it to the big game. But Joe Montana is the biggest bama ever. He was so funny! This reggae band started singing Tomorrow, and he said, "That's my jam!" I was rolling. That is too funny.

That was the worst Super Bowl. Stupid Patriots. And what the hell was up with the Eagles? T.O. was the only one on the team that looked like he showed up to play. And he broke his leg 6 1/2 weeks earlier. And the offense made way too many mistakes. But just like the ad said, "Tomorrow, We're ALL Undefeated Again". Man, I can't wait for next football season.

Yesterday, I did something really good, but I kind of thought I would never do. I had kind of told myself that I would never buy a TV show on DVD, but when I found out a certain show came out with there second season, I just had to. My absolute, most favorite show on Showtime, Penn & Teller-Bullsh*t's second season has come out on DVD!! I had seen the first season, but before I had a chance to see the second one, we got rid of all our movie channels except for HBO and Encore. (Launchcast music break: Limp Bizkit Faith. Some covers suck, but this one was AWESOME!! It's just about everything a cover should be.)You have no idea how much I loved this show. I ordered the two first seasons off of Amazon yesterday. It's due to come Friday, Saturday, or Monday. Hope for Friday. (Launchcast music break: Bon Jovi Bad Medicine. I've noticed they play this a lot when I'm doing my blog.)

I gotta jet, it's almost 12:10, and there's a couple of things I gotta do before I get off before 12:30. But before I go, I have to upload my new favorite picture of Ben. It's better than the fashion show one. It's the one where he got his 2004 Pepsi NFL Rookie of the Year Award. Even though the "O" face one is hard to top, he's just too good looking in this photo. I even bit and got rid of my Grumpy Bear Desktop and switched it to this.

I'm phasing.

Short and etc.
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: DC101
Man, I'm spent. I'm so tired, and I've got one day left. This week has been so hectic, and it's not over yet. I still have to visit my granddad tomorrow and the Super Bowl is on Sunday. S-T-R-E-S-S-E-D!

I've also gotten the courage to lurk around football boards again. I just have to stay away from the main page where they talk about that team that I really can't stand. While I was on The Official Super Bowl Site, I learned some good news. Last year, they had a bunch of football players sing Tomorrow, as in next football season is only a day away, and all that jazz. Anyway, they're going to do it again this year, and guess who's going to be in it? That's right, Ben-Ben's gonna SING!! This is going to be too funny! I'll try to tape it, I mean, they have to play it at least a million times on the NFL Network during the off season. The Steelers season got cut short, and Ben is still everywhere. It's a good thing.

Ben got his 2004 Pepsi NFL Rookie of the Year Award! I'll have to put his photo up for that next entry, because I have a great one this time!

Is this his "O" face?!

Yeah, I need help.

I'm phasing.

Oh, Where Do I Go Now?
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: American Idiot Album
The American Idiot album is so awesome! I think my favorite songs from it, other than the title track and Boulevard of Broken Dreams, which are the singles so far, are Jesus of Suburbia: IV. Dearly Beloved, Extraordinary Girl, Letterbomb, Wake Me Up When September Ends, Homecoming: III. Nobody Likes You & V. We're Coming Home Again. But the album itself is really solid. I actually like it better then Contraband. I've always kind of like Green Day. The songs Jesus of Suburbia and Homecoming are 9 minute songs that are split up into 5 different parts, so that's why I had to put my favorite parts of the songs. That sounds so weird, but it's kind of interesting. I do think that my favorite song of the entire album is Wake Me Up When September Ends. I think it's about Billie Joe's dad who died when he was younger. While I may not be able to really identify with it, it's really a powerful song. Letterbomb and Homecoming: III. Nobody Likes You get honorable mention because there's a line in the song that goes:

Nobody likes you,
Everyone left you,
There all out without you,
Having fun.

Well, if that doesn't hit it home, nothing else will. It was so weird when I first listened to Letterbomb, it comes before Homecoming on the album. It was like that Killing Me Softly song when they sing: Strumming my pain with his fingers, singing my life with his words. I guess the only difference now is that when they're out without me, it's most likely that I turned them down first, but I can't deny that was how it always used to be.

Yesterday, I actually watched Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Oh. My. God. That movie was long as hell! It wasn't bad, but I fell asleep both times I watched it. I'll give it the benefit of the doubt, I did wake up a 6:30 yesterday morning and that was the only down time I got. But, the second time it came on, I only fell asleep after I got to where I came in the first time it was on, so I didn't feel that bad. Maybe I'll catch it again. Who knows, one day, I might even buy the trilogy on DVD. Oh yeah, Lisa said that Orlando Bloom was all hot in that movie, I don't think so! He was way hotter in Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. But for some reason, she can't sit through that movie. She said that she saw some of it while she was at Dawn's house, but thought it was boring. WTF EVER!! Pirates was AWESOME!! Dominic Monaghan was okay in it. I say "okay" because I didn't recognize him, but I remembered his name was "Merry" so I waited until someone said it. But of course he's so hot on Lost as Charlie. Man, I miss Lost. 10 MORE DAYS!! And 14 days until Desperate Housewives.

That last episode of Desperate Housewives wasn't that good. Well, that's what I thought at first, but then I let it sink in, and it wasn't bad. It just wasn't nearly as AWESOME as Lost. They found Claire, then decided they needed a two-week break. That is so WRONG!!

I got my job back. She got desperate. Stupid cow. Now, I'll have more money. I can get that long sleeve "Big Ben" shirt, and that hat.

I downloaded that commercial that Ben's in. It's so awesome! I'm still a bit unclear about what it's selling. I think it's really tight outfits that athletes wear. Whatever, he's really hot in it. And he has on a really tight shirt. What's there for me to really get?

Man, I can't wait for summer, TRAINING CAMP BEGINS!!! Screw the Super Bowl! Let's get on with next season. How am I supposed to go like 6 months without this:

He makes me want to buy a vowel, and it's OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! I'm so special.

I'm phasing.

None For The Thumb
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: None
It's just not fair. I hate the Patriots! God, I couldn't even watch that game. It was terrible. I'm not even going to put up the score. The only thing is that they lost. Bad. Oh well. WAR PHILADELPHIA EAGLES!!! Man, if the Eagles lose, I'll have lost faith in everything. Until next summer when I start feenin' for football again.

I haven't taken this jersey off except to shower since Saturday. I need help, but it's a really awesome shirt. I might finally wash it later when I wash my hair. But I LOVE this jersey.

I gotta jet, I just figured I should update. I've been in denial for long enough. But I took that loss hard, I haven't watched NFL Network, ESPN, or anything like that since Saturday.

EDIT: On a happier note- BEN HAS A COMMERCIAL!!! It's for Nike. I haven't the faintest idea what it's selling, but he is so goddamn hot in it! Even though at one point, he has this weird mask. It's awesome!!

I'm phasing.

WTF?!
Mood:  quizzical
Now Playing: Launchcast
I was trying to come on here yesterday, and my whole *bleeping* blog was GONE!! WTF?! I was crushed. I don't even remember what I was coming on here for. Then I tried to come on here earlier today, and it was 1/4 here. I was just so blown though.

I got my jersey today!!! I'm so happy!! It's so beautiful! It's weird that I got it one day before the big game against the Patriots. Hmmm... This better not be a bad omen. I'm going to be so so sick tomorrow. I have no idea how I'll function during this game.

There is a "mistake" I must rectify from my last entry. It seems Marcus does not like the Patriots just because I dislike them. He likes them because they won the Super Bowl (I think it's two words) last year. But on Thursday, he was talking about that he loved them and blah, blah, blah, and I'm a bandwagon fan. Pot calling. Is kettle there? Please, he probably can't name the stadium the Patriots play in. He probably can't even name a player on the Patriots besides Tom "Marcia" Brady and Corey "Bill Brasky" Dillon. And for some reason, that I cannot get out of him, he dislikes Jerome Bettis. Especially since he has the nickname "The Bus". Okay. He keeps calling him "The Van" And he won't admit it, but if Jerome Bettis was on the Redskins, and logged like 7 100+ yard games, he would be so on his nuts, it would't even be funny.

(Launchcast music break: Jay-Z Song Cry. I may really dislike rap/hip hop music, but I do love this song.) There really wasn't too much Steeler or football news, I guess this is the calm before the storm. Well, except the fact that everyone is picking the Patriots over the Steelers. But I remember Ben saying that he loves being the underdog. Whatever floats your boat, but I don't think my heart can handle a game like last week's. I don't need (though it would be great) a blow out, but a comfortable lead would be good for me. I also found this awesome Steelers logo this person made, it was hot:

Well, I gotta go, I realized that I was supposed to repaint my nails today. I got up so early to go emergency grocery shopping, I fell asleep during the middle of the day. I do have a sort of cute picture of Ben:

I just realized that if they lose, my photos of Ben will probably diminish for a while.

WAR PITTSBURGH STEELERS!! THE PATRIOTS ARE TOSSERS!!

Oh yeah, this is my 100TH ENTRY!! My gift? A Ben-Ben jersey! YAY!!

I'm phasing.

The Tension Is Mounting
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: DC101
This Sunday is it. It's the big shows. These two games could almost overshadow the Superbowl. Falcons @ Eagles should be really good. It'll be really hard for me to sit through though. Patriots @ Steelers is it. Can Ben win the BIG one, and become the first rookie QB in history to lead his team to the Superbowl? I have absolutely no idea. It could go either way, but I'm not trying to do anything that could jinx it. Ever since last Saturday's game, I've become very superstitious. I will say one thing, even if the Steelers lose, I am so proud of Ben. He accomplished the unthinkable this year, and has now become the standard that all future rookie quarterbacks will be held to. Go Ben-Ben! Also, if the Steelers lose, I'm not taking any phone calls, except for Lisa's. I should take that back, let Jason and Marcus bring it! The Dolphins? 4-12! The Redskins? 6-10! And the worst part is that Marcus is so wrong for liking, no LOVING the Patriots just because I can't stand them! Did I do this to him? NO! Did I rub the TWO Cowboys' victories over the Redskins in his face? NO! But you know, some people are just like that.

I did get some good news yesterday. MY JERSEY GOT SHIPPED!! I'm so happy! It was so unexpected. The first email said the 28th, but they shipped it 9 days early. But, I'm hoping this is not a bad omen. What if my shirt gets here like tomorrow or Saturday, I wear it during the game, and they lose. That would suck so bad.

It's funny, I never thought I would like football, especially since I used to resent it so much, but reading my past entries, it's like 98% football, 2% anything else. I include Ben in football. They kind of go hand in hand. I've also noticed my online habits have changed dramatically. I practically live on the Yahoo NFL page, NFL.com, ESPN.com, Foxsports on MSN, and the message board on Steelers.com. I have no idea what I'm going to do with myself once football season is over. Hopefully the Harry Potter Hype will start to really pick up steam since the sixth book is coming out in June and fourth movie is coming out in November. Even though by the time the movie comes out, it'll be football season all over again!

I guess that'll be it for me. I have no idea if I'll be back on Saturday/Sunday before the Conference championship games or after the games. I'm also having a dilemma about two more Ben photos. I got one of him warming up before a game, looking very in the zone (he has gloves on which was a fuss last week) and the other one is of him sitting on a cooler at practice LHAO. Hmmmm, I think I'll go with...

It's neither, but it shows him being very confident and that he just did something good. Why do I fancy him so?

Peace and Steelers Grease!

I'm phasing.

That Was A Close One...
Mood:  lucky
Now Playing: MASH!!!!
That game was TOO close for comfort. The Steelers got the win, but man. I was on edge. But the breaks came when the Jets kicker missed the field goal. TWICE!! But our kicker didn't! WAR JEFF REED!! Of course, since Ben was probably nervous as hell, all the commentators, sports analysts, etc. were saying that he was playing like a rookie. But it doesn't matter, the Steelers are going to the AFC Championship game. But that makes me even more nervous. Either the Colts or the Patriots are going to be a tough ass opponent. But Ben makes the second time a rookie QB has won a playoff game.

In case you're wondering, that thing for my grandmother is tomorrow. Even though when my father asked, he did say SATURDAY!! I don't know who he was trying to fool.

Man, I am Steeler Pride personified! My nails are yellow. Even though I wish it was a deeper shade, that's okay. Tomorrow I'm even wearing a yellow blouse to represent. I've even considered wearing my class ring, and liking it. My dad bought it, and usually gets pissy when I don't. But one (there are many) of the reasons that I didn't like the ring was because the school colors are wrong. My high school colors are maroon and gray. Yeah, I know, U-G-L-Y! And he put black and yellow. At first I was kind of upset, but then I tried to find some positives in it. Like yellow and black are Hufflepuff colors. But we all know that if my ring had to have Harry Potter colors, I would have preferred green and silver. But, last night or Thursday night, I kind of thought about it. Black and yellow are STEELERS COLORS!! THAT'S AWESOME!! *In creepy, obsessive fan voice* "IT WAS MEANT TO BE!!" But really, that is an odd coincidence.

Well, I gotta go to bed. My father is coming at 11:00. IN THE MORNING!! That is insane! But whatever! Of course, before I go, I have to post the other Ben picture that I love so much.

Sorry about that, but that's what he does to me. Man, is that hot. But it's also simple. Like, if I had been hanging around that hotel, and had a digital camera, I could have taken that photo! I taped this awesome show off of ESPN last night and he was on it, but I'll have to elaborate on it some other time. But it was awesome!

WAR PITTSBURGH STEELERS!!!

I'm phasing.