It's 2005!!! (I'm a day late, so what?)
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Launchcast
I'm not sure how I feel. On one hand, I'm really happy that the Steelers finished off the regular season 15-1, are the AFC North division champs, and have clinched home field advantage and a first week bye for the playoffs. But, on the other hand, the Jags got knockout out of the picture when the Broncos defeated the Colts. And what really pisses me off it that the Colts acted like they did not come to play.(Opening Launchcast music break: Elton John Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word. I love this song, it's so beautiful and sad.)

Well, it looks like I'm going back to that crap-ass job on Tuesday. I have one more day of holiday, then I have to be with those crazy, off the wall kids. I'm hoping their spirits will have diminished since Crimbo has passed. I was talking to Marcus, and I told him how bad they were. Then he said that he understood, because he found it annoying when, as a student, you had to be quiet all day in school, then again at a daycare. I understand too, but I told him that I now see it from the teacher's P.O.V. I hate when they make noise, and it's the fact that they can't whisper or anything. They're so noisy. But the reason I'm going: I like money! There is still so much crap I want to buy. Like I found a place where you can get that cute hat Ben wears, but they're all sold out.

The place that I found with the hat is Ben's official website and blog. I'm a bit upset that it's taken me this long to find it. (Launchcast music break: No Doubt Bathwater. It's the perfect song about the guy that I don't talk about. He knows who he is. Just like all my friends.) Today, I've been questioning myself about why do I like Ben. I have no earthly idea. He's so cute, and I don't know. Whenever I see him, I get that stupid, can't-form-a-sentence feeling. I hate the feeling, but it's okay just because he gave it to me. I don't know, it doesn't make sense to me either. (Launchcast music break: Poison Something to Believe In) But, whatever, I'm just in love with Big Ben.

(Launchcast music break: AC/DC Back In Black) Ummm, I guess I could talk about New Year's Resolutions or whatever. I never really make one, because I know I'll break them. I stay away from the "I'll lose weight" one like the plague. If I do, I do. If I don't, then it's just another regular year. It might just be to keep up my "one soda a day" thing. That has been working out good for me. (Launchcast music break: No Authority Can I Get Your Number?. It's a HUGE guilty pleasure for me. Because in reality, this song is HORRIBLE!)

I don't have the whole playoff picture, but the teams that I really want to go to the Super Bowl are the Eagles for the NFC and the Steelers (duh!), the Colts, or the Jets for the AFC. Some people think that the Patriots vs. the Eagles would be great, but New England sucks. Man, if they make it to the Super Bowl, I will be so, ugh! !No me gusta!

I don't know of all of the games for the playoff schedule, yet, but I got some. So far, it's Saturday, January 8: (No.5) Rams at (No.4) Seahawks, and Sunday, January 9: (No.6) Vikings at (No.3) Packers for the NFC. And for the AFC, it's Saturday, January 8: (No.5) Jets at (No.4) Chargers, and Sunday, January 9: (No.6) Broncos at (No.3) Colts. It should be good. I know that the Steelers, Eagles, Falcons, and Patriots got first week byes, so that's why they won't be playing next week. But that's good for Ben and Jerome Bettis, they can rest their injuries for an extra week. But I'm not sure how those four teams get factored in the second week. We'll just have to wait and see.

That'll do it for me, let's all hope the year 2005 is better than last year. Going back in the archives, 2004 didn't start out too well for me.

Oh, I forgot, I wanted to post some totally random, but cute pic of Ben, so here goes.

All I can say is, "Michael Jordan, who?" My mum was hating on that.

WAR PITTSBURGH STEELERS!!!

I'm phasing.

Home Sweet Home
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: One Life To Live
Actually, my mood is:

I'm so bloody tired. Even though I didn't have to get up as early as I did last Thursday, I'm still really sleepy.

Well, my mum is home, safe and sound. And the relaxed mood of the house left with her arrival. I'm sorry, but it's true, she makes the household very tense. Like, we were trying to make breakfast, I was doing waffles and other stuff, and she wanted me to look at pictures, and write down phone numbers. I missed her, but I can't lie and say I would have been too upset if she had stayed an extra few days.

But, enough about that. I want to go on about something I love: Ben-Ben! He's going to be okay. He might not start next Sunday's game against the Bills, but he's going to be just fine. They want him to rest up for the playoffs. Still, this is the selfish bit of me, I wouldn't mind him starting the first Steeler play of the game, just so he could keep his little streak going. But, if they lose, because he didn't start, then he'll still be undefeated. No rookie quarterback has ever gone 13-0. Except him. I have a new favorite picture of him now:

I love that photo. It's something about that hat. And the worst bit is that it's not even available on NFL Shop! I think it's reversable. !Me gusta!

Well, I know who I'll be rooting for in the playoffs. But it's NFC all the way during the Pro-Bowl. The quarterbacks are Donovan McNabb, Michael Vick, and Dante Culpepper. The AFC's are Tom Brady (!No me gusta!), Peyton Manning, and Drew Brees (Chargers). Yet, no Ben-Ben. I heard that he might be a stand-in if none of the other three show up, but whatever. So that just gives me more incentive to root against the AFC. I'm kind of upset the football season is over. It was a great season, and hopefully next year's will be better. The AFC was where all the competition was at! The NFC? Not so much. Well, there's one more game for every team on Sunday, some playoff dreams will come true, others crushed. But that should make the ones who came this close, to try harder next year *coughJaguarscough*. WAR PITTSBURGH STEELERS!!!

I'm phasing.

Let's Try This Again
Mood:  d'oh
I've tried to put this up for the past two days, but on Saturday, the computer started to act funny, and yesterday, I saw a mouse and hauled ass.

Let me start with Saturday, which was Crimbo (UK slang for "Christmas"). It was marvy! I had to unwrap the unknown present last, but it was so awesome! It was a portable DVD player. How cool is that? Then we went over Aunt Pat and Uncle Andy's. It was cool at first, but when it was just a bunch of people over there, I was ready to go.

Sunday was okay. The Steelers won (14-1)! But Ben got hurt. They think it's his ribs. Jacksonville got their asses handed to them. By the Houston Texans. AGAIN!! I can't believe after beating Green Bay, on theire home turf, in below freezing weather, they let the Texans beat them. And the score was 21-0! That is terrible! I think their playoff dreams have just been dashed, unless stuff happens next week, but I'm not sure if enough teams can lose for them to get a wild card spot.

Today was alright. I woke up at noon. Then we went shopping on our very tight budget. Mum should have told us that all of our shopping had to be done before she left. I got a letter from the bank saying that I had overdrawn over $1000 from my account, then since I put in a deposit, it was only like $800 something. Then, when I called, they said I was overdrawn only $30 something. Well, that's better than $1000, but I don't like to be overdrawn at all. But that doesn't sound right to me. I should have at least like $50 in the bank. Unless the power of plastic has overcome me. But it still doesn't sound right to me. I hope my next check comes soon, there's a rumor that there will be a Crimbo bonus. I bloody well hope so, There's a "Big Ben" long sleeve shirt that I really want. As you can see, it's becoming a sickness.

I'm not sure exactly when it happened, but if you didn't notice, I now fancy Mr. Roethlisberger a bit. I can't help it. But don't think I'm completely over Michael Easton yet. He's still one of the hottest things to walk this earth, to me. But as of late, I don't get the fire-hot hot flashes every time he walks on the screen, plus, the show is splitting his character and Evangeline up. It's so wrong!!! That stupid red-head, she doesn't even deserve him. I know, I've been bitching about it for months, but I'm sure that by mid-January, John and Evie will be done, Natalie and Cris will be over, and Natalie will run straight to my favorite cop's arms. Ugh. It's disgusting. But that's okay, because I still have my Ben-Ben. I know, it's a sickening nickname, but it works with that stupid-ass Go DJ song. Go Ben-Ben, that's my Ben-Ben! .

What is it about him that is so damn lovable?

Well, that be it from me, hopefully my money thing will be sorted out soon, and I'll feel a little better.

I'm phasing.

And The Bottom Falls Out
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: Launchcast
(Opening Launchcast music break: Eminem Superman) It's so funny how one day, you're so happy, then the next everything falls apart and you're ready to snap. I guess that's what life is. Life is what comes along when you're making other plans. I know I shouldn't feel like this, but I can't wait for my mother to leave tomorrow. She hurt her shoulder and that sucks, but she's driving me up the wall. It'll be great for her to get away, and see her little grandbaby for a week. (Launchcast music break: Bon Jovi Bad Medicine. Yes Jon, it is what I need.)

I missed work yesterday, but I had to go today. UGH!! Those kids made me earn my $7.50/hr. They were so goddamn bad today. And it's so weird, the worst ones are ALWAYS the ones to ask for shit! They wanna go outside, they wanna get on the computer, they wanna play with their Gameboys they shouldn't even have. Then, at the end of the day, they ask for a treat, and when I say no, they wonder how they didn't get it. BECAUSE Y'ALL DON'T FUCKING LISTEN!!!! You'd think they were retarded or something. I understand that I can't curse them out, but why can't I hit them. The parents that would complain about corporal punishment are probably the same parents with the worst goddamn children. And man, I thought the oldest one, George, was cool, but he's been buggin' all week, and I've only worked 2 goddamn days this week! On Monday he complained that they couldn't go outside because it was too cold, and drove me to the brink of my sanity, then today they went outside, and he complained they were bored. I've realized, it's just him, they're okay, but it's just him. I'm so glad today was my last day. When my mother is gone, I'm gonna try for that job at a bank, because I do like having constant money. (Launchcast music break: Poison Something to Believe In. God, I love this song, it came at a good time too.)

Some good things did happen today, I opened some of my presents, I gave my parents theirs. My mother loved her watch, even though now, I question my actions. I'm gonna save the rest of my presents for Saturday. Even though I already know what they all are, except for one. The ones I opened today were a pair of shoes that were too big, some Homer Simpson house slippers (they're so awesome, his mouth is where you slip your feet in, so it looks he's eating them), and my package from Hot Topic. My Harry Potter bag is so awesome!! I always where the Slytherin side out. And my Grumpy Bear blanket is so cute! Tonight will be the first night I sleep with it. Man, I can't wait for my Ben Roethlisberger jersey to come. It's gonna be a long January. I think my favorite gifts to open will be the Mary Poppins DVD and the Velvet Revolver CD. I think I should have opened those today.

Well, I'm sleepy, and I have to take a shower because we're leaving at like 3:00 AM. I need to get at least like 4 1/2 hours of sleep.

I'm phasing.

Yesterday Was A Great F'N Day
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Elliot In The Morning
Wow, so many good things happened yesterday. The first good thing was that I ordered my Ben Roethlisberger jersey!! Then my package came. Then I got on the internet and found out that JKR opened the door in her study!! She announced that she finished the sixth book Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince!! And that the release date would be announced about 24 hours later. And it has. It's coming out July 16, 2005!! Wow. And, the topper for yesterday came right after midnight last night. THE DOLPHINS BEAT THE PATRIOTS!!!!! I'm so happy!! The Patriots are 12-2! I worry for my Steelers, but I'm just so happy at the same time. And I only have 2 more days at this shitty job!!!

It's gonna be a good holiday.

WAR MIAMI DOLPHINS (3-11)!!!! Go Dolphins, that's my Dolphins! Go Dolphins, that's my Dolphins! Go Dolphins, that's my Dolphins! Go Dolphins, that's my Dolphins! Go Dolphins, that's my Dolphins! Go Dolphins, that's my Dolphins! I'm sorry I didn't believe!



I'm phasing.

To Go To Work Next Week Or Not To Go To Work, That Is The Question
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Launchcast
Man, I'm so happy I'm feeling better, I felt like absolute rubbish this week. I was too sick. My best mates this past week were my tissue box and rubbish bin. And my nose spray, I used to hate that stuff, but when you can't breathe, you suck it up and get over it.(Opening Launchcast music break: Guns N' Roses Paradise City)

I still don't know if I should go in and get a last good $78.75 for the next 3 days. Maybe, I'm hoping it snows tonight well into Monday morning so the answer will be hell no. That woman is just so stupid, but I might do it, I spent over $200 yesterday, mostly on myself, and I plan on spending a bit more.

I got all my Christmas shopping done yesterday. I bought the Fantasia CD for my step-dad to give to my mum. It was almost impossible to find in Target, there were like 2 left. I bought my dad and his wife this coffee stuff. It came with a really cute tray, and different flavors of coffee. It's so hard to shop for a person you don't care about. And I didn't want to spend $17.99 on him, but anything cheaper was rubbish. I finally found that goddamn Aquadoodle I had been searching for for months. We looked everywhere and then found it at Target, and it wasn't even in the toy aisle! And it was on top of the shelves, so it took a bit to get it down. $20, that bad ass baby better enjoy it.

(Launchcast music break: Poison Something To Believe In {Acoustic Version featuring New Lyrics}. I love the regular version, and this ain't half bad) And I got all my presents from "Santa" under the tree. I got some new shirts, new underwear with cute sayings on them, the Mary Poppins DVD, and the Velvet Revolver Contraband CD. I almost got the Chicago soundtrack and Poison's Greatest Hits, but I decided against it. I got some other presents from my parents, and I don't know what they are, but they might have something to do with Care Bears. And my package from Hot Topic is due to arrive tomorrow. Another reason why I don't wanna go to work. (Launchcast music break: Spice Girls Too Much. Like me some Spice Girls!)

I can't wait for tomorrow though, I finally found somewhere I can get my Ben Roethlisberger jersey! The closest I'll ever get to sleeping with him. I don't know why, but now, I love me some Big Ben. They beat the Giants yesterday. 33-30. Wow! I taped that game, I don't know when I'll have time to watch it, I still have to watch Friday's One Life To Live. But this means that the Steelers are 13-1!! And I'm not even gonna waste energy on wishing ill will on the Patriots because they play Miami(2-11) on Monday .

I can't wait for Wednesday. That's when we're gonna open presents since Mum is flying to Alabama on Thursday. It's gonna be great. I can't wait to see my mother's face when she see's that watch. If she breaks or loses that watch, I'm gonna hurt her.

Well, I'd better go. I have to wash my hair, and the Eagles can't catch a break. They're playing the Cowboys. It's 7-6 in the Cowboys favor. The Eagles had their extra point kick blocked and T.O. got injured, so it's been downhill from there. I hope they win.

I'm phasing.

Man It's Gonna Be A Long Ass Week
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Launchcast (again)
(Opening Launchcast music break: Spice Girls Goodbye, I love that song!) Well, the bright side is that I get paid this week, the bad news, I gotta find a new job. Man, I work for the cheapest, most ungrateful bitch. !No me gusta! My mum hates her too, so that's good. Ugh! I don't wanna think about last week. I got a week and a half left, so I'll just have to get through it.

I bought something off the internet. I bought a HP bag and a Grumpy blanket. (Launchcast music break: Sugar Ray Answer the Phone. Very underrated IMO.) It should get here sometime this week, I can't wait.

My granddad went into the hospital this week, too. He has a slipped disk. That sucks, but I'm sure he'll have a speedy recovery, but he has to learn to walk all over again. My mum, aunt Sharon, and I went and visited him yesterday. He's in the GU hospital. That is a long ass ride. But Georgetown is AWESOME!! Hell, I need to get some money and hang out there, it's expensive. My mum told me that this guy my dad used to work with owned a house there, and was gonna sell it to us dirt cheap. But he said no because he didn't wanna live in D.C. OMG! He's a total idiot!! There is a HUGE difference between D.C. and Georgetown, even though it's the same city. It's almost the same as the contrasts of New York City and the Hamptons. (Launchcast music break: Goo Goo Dolls Here is Gone. Another really great, yet underrated song, I think.)

Steelers are 12-1! YAAAAAY!! So are the Patriots. BOOOOOOOO!!! I was rooting hard for the Steelers, they played the Jets. Sorry Eric, but like I said, I cannot have the Patriots at the top of the AFC Conference. WHY CAN'T THEY JUST LOSE?!

Lately, I've been having a bit of trouble sleeping. I just keep thinking about work. Last night I had no trouble because I was on Benadryll (excellent). The kids voices are in my head. I don't like the older kids anymore. I don't like hate them, but they don't listen, they don't shut up. It's so stressful. And I miscalculated last time. At the Clinton center, there are 6 school age kids. My mum and I shared responsibility over them, at the Ft. Washington one, I have 12!! All by me onesy!! It was 13, but I can't deal with Chuckii, he's such a goddamn crybaby, so I send him to the other building! I told him to do his work, he said he didn't know how, and started to cry. Granted he's in kindergarten, but I'm there to help, I tried to tell him this, but, ugh! He'll also hit other people, and cry about it. (Launchcast music break: George Michael I Want Your Sex {Parts 1 & 2}.)

Well, that's it for me, I don't really want to bring up too much of what happened last week, it depresses me. I WISH THE KIDS WOULD GET OUT OF MY HEAD WHEN I TRY TO SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!

Man, it's gonna be a long ass week.

I'm phasing.

I Can't Find My Christmas Spirit
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: Launchcast
It's gone. Or maybe it just hasn't arrived yet. I don't know. I used to be so hyped for Christmas, now, not so much. It also might be my mum as well. She's sick and now she's in this mood. I dunno, she's all pissy and bitchy. Whatever. My step-dad said that the blue van needs work done now, so he can't go to Alabama. My mum's on her own, I guess. It might just be better this way. I don't want to go, I'm sorry, but I just don't. Besides, I got bigger plans now. Since it's the Christmas season, my money is going everywhere, but I'm really trying to grind down and save so I can do something, or get something, like a driver's license.

I don't know if it's the fact that everyone's working, but the Christmas spirit is really thin in the air in our house. It's thin in the air, thin on the ground, basically just trim. (Launchcast music break: Guns N' Roses Don't Cry [Alt. Lyrics] God, I love this song! Best break-up-but-we-can-still-be-friends song EVER!!) I mean, we have our tree up, but no decorations, no lights outside, it just doesn't feel like Christmas over here. Maybe it'll come later or something, I remember last year it took Marcus a while to get into it. But I just feel so blah right now. Like I'm just here, and then that's it. Michael would get it.

Lately, I've just been thinking about my life. How do I change it? I have a job. One I don't like, but that's what a job is, if you like it, it's not work, no matter if you're getting paid. (Launchcast music break: Boyz II Men End of the Road!!! No one is allowed to talk when this song comes on!) But what can I do to get a move on with it. I have no clue. My life's always just kinda fallen into place.

I just don't know anymore!!! I guess I've got 19 more days to find some Christmas cheer.

I'm phasing.

It's Friday!!
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: Launchcast
Opening Launchcast music break: November Rain!!! They gave me the twelve-and-a-half minute version yesterday. So very awesome!!

Well, it's Friday, and today, I got the reason I put up with it all, money! The next ones will be better, but I'll be so stressed, I won't be able to see straight to really love them.

OMG, why is it that almost every time Love Actually is on, Marcus calls? WHY?! He called Saturday when it premiered on HBO, he called Wednesday when I was watching it with Mum, and he called yesterday when I was chilling out trying to watch it. I asked Mum this question, and she said because it's love, actually. He's driving me mad, really. Especially since he called two days in a row. What else did we have to say to each other? And when he called yesterday, he did so while I was on the computer, listening to Launchcast, which was pretty damn hot. It gave me the live version of November Rain, Home Sweet Home again, Marcus called in the middle of Anniversary (all 9 minutes of that!!!), and Bad Medicine.

Tomorrow should be a good day. Finally, I'll get to see The Incredibles, and I'll buy Mum's gifts. Also, I'm really thinking of getting a shirt from T-Shirt Hell or this other website. And some Harry Potter stuff. One can never have enough.

Well, that's it for me today. Funny, isn't it, at first I was thinking that I wouldn't have anymore time to do this, now, I've written almost every day. Huh.

I'm phasing.

!No me gusta!
Now Playing: Launchcast
This other center blows. The younger kids are so bad, and I only had like seven of them. Thank god I got the older ones later. The older ones were a lot better, they were pretty cool. It's more of them then at the one in Clinton. At Clinton, it was only 7, here it's like 9. I know that's only a difference of two, but the way they were bouncing around, it felt like more. The one thing I hate is that for the past two days, I've been there so early. I was there a little before 2:00 yesterday, and I didn't have to be there until like 2:30, and today, I'm gonna be there like at 1:30. I know I have to adjust to my mother's schedule, but ugh! !No me gusta!

I'll probably have to write more later. All I'll say is that I talked to Marcus. It wasn't bad, but still, no me gusta.

Launchcast not so good today, but it's only been on for 15 minutes. But they did give me Big Tymers Get Your Roll On. Goddamn, that song is so bad, I love it.

I'm phasing.