It's Friday *YAWN*
It's Friday. I don't care. For some reason, I seem disillusioned with everything. I just don't care about anything anymore. My "friend" Jarret is leaving for Cuba or something next Thursday, so of course, they are going to have a get together at his house this weekend. He told me that it was going to be the whole weekend. I was like, "Hello, Sunday is Mother's Day." And he said he hadn't realized that at the time, because they're going to the movies tomorrow, and on Sunday, they're having a cook out. But the funny part was when he said my mother could come to the cook out. OMFG!! It was too funny! When I told Marcus that, we had a good laugh. I'm not going on Sunday, of course, I'm spending time with my grandparents. I realized that Sunday was May 9. That's the night that ABC is showing Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone with all the bonus footage. And I'm pretty sure there is going to be a new episode of The Simpsons too. I'm going to have to do some major recording. Anyway, I got off topic, the thing is, how do I weasel my way out of tomorrow. Yeah, I know, I probably won't see Jarret for a couple of years, maybe ever, if I get my life together and move on with it, but there is no point in me going. They are going to be very late in picking me up, even if I rode the train to their house, I know for a fact that we would sit over there for hours doing absolutely NOTHING! And to top it off, they want to go see that new Van Helsing movie. Whatever. I only have like $10 to my name, and Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban is getting that. Whenever I go to the movies with them, it is always so horrible, so, using logic, something religion and WWE are very uncomfortable with, I shouldn't go based on the facts that I'm going to have a shitty time, I don't want to see the movie anyway, and I'm already angry for who knows what reason at everything, why set myself up for that. I should have learned the lesson a while ago, but Backlash was the last straw. But the good news is that Jarret is leaving, may the fun and games begin. I think my friend Amar, who's in the army, is coming back from South Carolina soon. Summer is so looking up!

I don't think Shawn is turning heel anytime soon. I'm so very sad about this. *fighting back tears* It's just not fair, all I wanted was for him to be the egotistical, self-absorbed bastard he does so well. Maybe someday. :*(

I'm phasing.

And Still I?ll Watch.../Carlinism
There was no heel turn last night. :( I?m so sad. But, I?ll give Shawn the benefit of the doubt, he was lying in the ring when it went off, so he couldn?t snap or something, so I will have to wait until next week. The ending was so fucking messed up though, Triple H just had to stick his big nose in main event. The worst part about that is that he has like three possible mini-feuds he could be involved in, but does he tend to them? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! He just has to be included in the title scene. FUCK HIM, I HATE HIM!! All I wanted was a nice, 20 min.+ match between Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit, I guess that is just too much to ask. I know it sets up one of two matches at the June PPV Bad Blood, either Shawn vs. Benoit, or Shawn vs. Triple H. I?d rather it be the former than the latter, because we?ve seen HBK vs. HHH! At three PPVs, now that I think about it: Summer Slam 2002, Armageddon 2002, and Royal Rumble 2004. Like I?ve stated, WE HAVE SEEN IT! WE GET IT! THEY DON?T LIKE EACH OTHER. NEXT FUCKING FEUD FOR BOTH OF THEM! I swear to Jebus, if Shawn doesn?t turn heel soon, I?m just going to stop caring, I?ll still watch, I just won?t care. There was one positive thing about last night, when Benoit and Shawn were outside of the ring, Shawn was trying to go to the top of one of the turnbuckles, and Benoit pulled on his tights, and I saw ass. NICE. I was very happy last night, needless to say. Marcus was SO hating. But boo wwe.com for not putting up those pix, but that is alright because I taped the whole match anyway, so :P !

***********************************************

Now, I shall put up some stuff on Carlinism. As I previously stated, I do agree with a lot of things George Carlin has to say on religion, not god, because he is an atheist, I question if there is a god, but I?m not sure if I go that far, yet. Plus, I don't want to get into it today. I believe that everyone has the right to question theirs and others beliefs, but think it is totally wrong when you push your beliefs on others. I?m not 100% on Personalism, I just said it sounded good, but now, will just put up some things Carlin has stated that I agree with.

? Religion convinced the world that there's an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do. And there's 10 things he doesn't want you to do or else you'll to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! ...And he needs money! He's all powerful, but he can't handle money!
? The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
? I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
? When it comes to BULLSHIT...BIG-TIME, MAJOR LEAGUE BULLSHIT... you have to stand in awe, IN AWE of the all time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion.
? I want you to know, when it comes to believing in god- I really tried. I really, really tried. I tried to believe that there is a god who created each one of us in his own image and likeness, loves us very much and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize...something is FUCKED UP. Something is WRONG here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is NOT good work. If this is the best god can do, I am NOT impressed. Results like these do not belong on the resume of a supreme being. This is the kind of sh*t you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently run universe, this guy would have been out on his all-powerful-ass a long time ago.

I?m so torn between Carlinism and Personalism, they?re both so tempting. *frustrated*

I'm not looking for a belief structure, just trying to get some ideas. I was going to put up his views on the Ten Commandments, but, 1) it was too long, and 2) I usually refrain from discussing stuff like this, so I'll just end it today with this entry.

I?m phasing and Shawn Michaels has a cute little bum. *HAPPY SIGH*

I Think I Have Found What I've Been Looking For...
I mean on a spiritual level. It's a mix of two. The first one was that I am a practicing Carlinist, which basically means, anything George Carlin has said about religion, I have agreed with most of it. He's a very smart man, the second one is called a Personalist. This guy from a message board explained it the best, so I'll copy and paste:

Chris B.- For lack of better words I call it Personalism. It goes like this:

I believe in a God, not Jehovah or Budda, just God. He/She's a cool being with a relaxed attitude (explains the whole free will thingy) and a great sense of humor. This God lets us live our own lives and does not enforce petty rules. He just asks us to respect each other.

I do believe in a heaven and hell, but I think it's a lot easier to get into Heaven than Catholics and others would have you believe. My God is forgiving and he definitly wants us to enjoy our time on earth, he just wants us to be nice to each other.

That kicks all kinds of ass! Tomorrow, I'll put some of my Carlinist beliefs up. I won't do it now, because I'm just too damn lazy!

I'm phasing.

...And Junk Like That
I have braved the RIAA and re-installed Kazaa! Of course I had to uninstall my anti-spyware stuff to get it back, but I'm re-installing those back. The reason I did this was because, I NEEDED to download Bon Jovi's I'll Be There For You! If I didn't get it, I would have gone mad!

Right now, I'm looking for better anti-spyware than I had before, because I accidentally downloaded something, and not only did I not get what I kind of wanted, but it did something to my computer where it gave me pop-ups that weren't affected by my anti-spyware program! Oh well, I hope this new stuff will be better.

I can't believe it's Friday already! Yesterday was kind of boring, Smackdown was actually more interesting than it had been in weeks, but it still had that Smackdown suckiness it always has. Triple H should have stayed on that show! I think the whole lot of Evolution should have gone. All in exchange for John Cena! He would be too vicious live!

3 1/2 days left until we see if Shawn FINALLY turns heel!

I'm phasing.

Just One More Week...
The wheels are set in motion for the turn next Monday. :D Some wrestling websites said that the crowd was booing Benoit at the end of Raw last night. I swear, if Benoit turns instead of Shawn, I will do my nut for sure. That would just be so wrong. Triple H talking to a tree = ROTFLMFAO!!! It was GOLD! That was the funniest thing WWE has done intentionally in YEARS!!

I'm phasing.

Time Bomb Ticking
I CAN'T STAND MY MOTHER!!!!!

I'm phasing.

Uh-Oh
Have I reached my creative peak? Hopefully not yet. The reason I abstained from the website for a few days was because I didn't know how to top my previous entry. I still don't, but I had to return to say, I'm not fuming any more. I had to let that stew for a bit.

The only thing I can think of to say is, American Idol is on WWE crack. It has been reported that they have stolen a mass amount of it. I CANNOT believe that red-headed freak is STILL there, and Jennifer Hudson got voted off. Do girls actually think he's cute? YUCK!! But, these are the same girls that think Clay Aiken is attractive, SICK!! But, at least Clay can SING!!

If Shawn Michaels doesn't go heel in the next two Mondays, I swear, I will almost be done with wrestling.

I'm phasing.

Sick and Tired of It All
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Limp Bizkit "Break Stuff"
Here are the things I'm sick and tired of, just off the top of my head: Untrustworthy, undependable, unreliable, unpredictable, unstable, inconsistent, indecisive, erratic, fickle, capricious, flaky, wishy-washy, take-more-than-they-give, shitty-ass friends, whose sole purpose in life is just to use me for body count than just to hang out; being scared of failure; knowing that when I wake up tomorrow, that I will still be doing the same thing I did the day before: FUCKING NOTHING; the fact that I'm in TWO abusive relationships, and can't shake either one of them; being scared to drive; the wait for Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban movie; pop-ups; not being able to download music for free anymore; SMARKS (yeah, I know I'm one, but we are an annoying bunch when more than one is around); MARKS who think they are SMARKS (they are more annoying than smarks, believe it or not); people who have way too much money, and spend it on stupid shit, like spinning rims, and the fact if I had that much money, I'd invest, so I could have MORE money; having a bunch of cable channels, and there is never shit on them; haters who hate just to be hating; the fact that when I'm angry at a certain person, I can't ever just tell them that they are a major asshole, and they should go fuck themselves and stop bothering me, I keep the hurt inside, well, I tell everyone else, BUT that person; the fact that music SUCKS now, and will probably never be to my standards again; hypocrites; the feeling that I'm wasting the best years of my life; stupid people who don't wear their signs (inside joke); being angry; allowing other people to piss me off; people who call me, then NOT talk to me; the Atkins diet; not having a job and being broke; the fact that I don?t deal with reality; never being able to hear the whole song of Bon Jovi's I'll Be There For You(I've only heard it twice); Launch radio being more controlling on skipping and what songs they will play, and you have to pay a subscription for it to be unlimited (I wondered why they stopped playing GNR on my station, but they have a whole station dedicated to the 80s, and GNR is the picture they base the music on, MOTHERFUCK LAUNCH RADIO); not being skinny; being single; that lost and unsure feeling; Shawn Michaels screwing with my feelings EVERY week by not turning heel ( he STILL hasn't done it); and caring, in general.

Although, I suppose that turning heel in Canada would have just been too easy, and some wonder whether or not it would have carried over to the States. If the heel turn does not happen after his title match with Benoit in Phoenix in two weeks, I might just give up.

There are probably a lot more things I could be upset about, but I was just about to boil over with anger, and needed to siphon these thoughts out of my head.

I'm phasing and pissed the fuck off!

Backlash Rant and Rave
Mood:  incredulous
Yesterday was filled with so much emotion! All ranging from anger to disbelief. I know that is just a show, but I always get so caught up in it. Especially Shawn.

The evening started when my friends came 3 1/4 hours later than when they said they would. I was about to give them their props, because Backlash started at 8:00, and they were, supposedly coming to get me at 5:15. Well, two hours pass, and nothing. So I call, and I'm like, "Jason, where the hell is your brother?" And he's like, "We got into a knife fight, but he's on his way." Then I asked, "How long ago did he leave?" And Jason said 10 minutes ago. They live maybe a half hour away, depending on the traffic and the route you take. Jason's brother, Jarrett, didn't show up until 8:25. Oooooooh, I was SO angry. THEN, we were going to stop off at this girl named Francois' (sp?) house so they could drop pictures off, but Jarrett's girlfriend forgot them. It would be a 'thank god' moment, but NOOOOOOOOO! We had to go visit some other people that I didn't even know! So, then we didn't get to his house until like 9:15. But just to make matters worse, the people already at the house weren't even watching the fucking Pay-Per-View!! They didn't know who won the first two matches!! The sad fact is that Jason CLAIMS to be this HUGE wrestling fan, and had hopes to get into wrestling one day, and not only was he not watching the show, but he was a fucking mark when he was paying attention.
UGH! There's nothing worse than a mark who thinks they know EVERYTHING, and yet is still so marky at the same time!

Fuck those bamas, man, I'm so tired of it. That's it, I'm going to learn how to drive, so even if I have to go over there to see this stuff, I at least have my own ride. But if I'm driving, I'm going over Marcus's house.

FUCK THIS SHIT MAN!! I'VE HAD IT!! I CAN'T WAIT FOR JARRETT TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY!! IT'S ALWAYS HIM!! HE IS THE SOURCE OF ALL THE PROBLEMS, WHEN HE WASN'T HERE FOR WRESTLEMANIA XIX, WE HAD A BLAST! SURE THEY WERE LATE, BUT IT WAS FUN IN THE END!! BUT WITH HIM, IT'S NEVER FUN!! DAMN, MAY WILL NOT BE HERE SOON ENOUGH!!

SHAWN, DO YOU SEE WHAT I PUT UP WITH FOR YOU?!?!

Okay, now for some better news, I did pretty good on my Backlash predictions. I went six out of seven. Technically it was eight matches, but I didn't know about one until I was there, because they didn't announce it. Let's rehash:

Chris Benoit vs. Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels- I said Chris was gonna retain! But I can't believe Shawn tapped. It was SHOCKING!

Randy Orton vs. Mick Foley- Yep, I said Randy was gonna win. It was kind of sick though, at one point, Randy had a shitload of thumbtacks stuck in his back, arms, and hands.

Victoria vs. Lita- I have to go on what they told me, they said Victoria won, and that was my pick.

Edge vs. Kane- Edge won, like I said. He cheated, but he won.

Chris Jericho vs. Christian & Trish Stratus- Again, this is something that they told me happened, but they said my pick, Jericho won, so whatever.

Tajiri vs. Jonathan Coachman- I can't believe Coach won. This is my only wrong pick, but there was interference, so I don't feel that bad.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Ric Flair- Shelt Money won, baby! It was a good match. I hope his push continues, I'll have to wait for Raw tonight to see.

La Resistance vs. Hurricane and Rosey- This match was not on the final card that I found posted on the internet, so I couldn't make a guess. If anyone cares, Hurricane/Rosey won.

Keep your fingers crossed that tonight is THE night that Shawn Michaels goes heel. He should turn heel, just for me, at least, considering EVERYTHING I went through last night, JUST...FOR...HIM!

I'm phasing, and still not as angry as I should be about the incedents in getting to Backlash!

Backlash
I'm going to see Backlash tonight!! I'll do my picks now cuz my ride is on it's way. By the by, that Chris Rock: Never Scared thing was underwhelming. Too much hype, maybe?


World Title Match
Chris Benoit vs. Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels

Benoit, go!! Shawn, go heel!! Trips, just go away!!

WWE Intercontinental Title Hardcore Match
Randy Orton vs. Mick Foley

Randy Orton. Should be one hell of a match though!

WWE Women's Title Match
Victoria vs. Lita

Victoria. She's cool, but she was better at being psycho!

Edge vs. Kane

Probably Edge.

Chris Jericho vs. Christian & Trish Stratus

Jericho.

Tajiri vs. Jonathan Coachman

If Coach wins, I will slap someone.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Ric Flair

Flair will probably put the newcomer, Shelt Money, over. And that will be great.

I'll share my experience tomorrow.

And, hopefully, Bret pix!

I'm phasing.