Mood:
blueNow Playing: Launchcast
It's gone. Or maybe it just hasn't arrived yet. I don't know. I used to be so hyped for Christmas, now, not so much. It also might be my mum as well. She's sick and now she's in this mood. I dunno, she's all pissy and bitchy. Whatever. My step-dad said that the blue van needs work done now, so he can't go to Alabama. My mum's on her own, I guess. It might just be better this way. I don't want to go, I'm sorry, but I just don't. Besides, I got bigger plans now. Since it's the Christmas season, my money is going everywhere, but I'm really trying to grind down and save so I can do something, or get something, like a driver's license.
I don't know if it's the fact that everyone's working, but the Christmas spirit is really thin in the air in our house. It's thin in the air, thin on the ground, basically just trim. (Launchcast music break: Guns N' Roses Don't Cry [Alt. Lyrics] God, I love this song! Best break-up-but-we-can-still-be-friends song EVER!!) I mean, we have our tree up, but no decorations, no lights outside, it just doesn't feel like Christmas over here. Maybe it'll come later or something, I remember last year it took Marcus a while to get into it. But I just feel so blah right now. Like I'm just here, and then that's it. Michael would get it.
Lately, I've just been thinking about my life. How do I change it? I have a job. One I don't like, but that's what a job is, if you like it, it's not work, no matter if you're getting paid. (Launchcast music break: Boyz II Men End of the Road!!! No one is allowed to talk when this song comes on!) But what can I do to get a move on with it. I have no clue. My life's always just kinda fallen into place.
I just don't know anymore!!! I guess I've got 19 more days to find some Christmas cheer.
I'm phasing.