The SmarK RAW Rant. 6/16/03
- Your hosts are Jim Ross & Paul Heyman
- Opening Interview, Shane-O-Mac's music hits. He says WCW is not dead. He says in fact the WWE has turned into WCW in its waning moments before he purchased it. He has regained full control of booking and has decided to cut the brand extension tonight. There needs to be one champion so at Fully Loaded Triple H will face Brock Lesnar. There will be a 16-man Tournament to determine who will face the champ at Summerslam '03. There will also be a Tag Team Tourmoil match tonight with some fresh faces to determine a brand new Tag Team Champion.
- TAG TEAM TURMOIL
- Ikuto Hidaka & Ultimo Dragon vs. Kaientai. IKUTO HIDAKA is in the WWE~! HUZAH. All four men are all over the ring to start. Until Togo and Funaki clean house, and work over Dragon. Amazing double teaming as is usual with Kaientai. Dragon fights back on Funaki and tags in Hidaka who goes stiff shots galore with Togo. Hidaka takes control and a Top Rope Fisherman's Suplex~! is enough to put Funaki away at 10:10. ***1/2
- Ikuto Hidaka & Ultimo Dragon vs. Christopher Daniels & Sean O'Haire. We go to commercial but come back with Dragon & Hidaka working over Daniels. Daniels cheats to get the upperhand and tags in O'Haire who cleans F'n house! Huge powerbomb and the Seanton gets the three at 4:12 shown. *3/4
- Christopher Daniels & Sean O'Haire vs. AJ Styles & Paul London. London and Styles come down to the Music of the American Males. Classic stuff. O'Haire goes nuts and levels them all before teh bell rings. The ref calls the match, and O'Haire attacks him and we go to commercial.
- Hurricane Helms & Shannon Moore vs. The Jung Dragons. Jaime Noble is dressed as Noble-San complete with his mask. Yang and Helms start out, and Helms is still playing the superhero role. He and Yang go through some flip flop stuff to crowd applause. Moore tags in and the Dragons ground him. Moore gets the hot tag and we go into high spots mode. In the end Noble-San gets pinned with a Verti-Breaker!! 11:24. ***1/4
- Hurricane Helms & Shannon Moore vs. FBI. Helms and Moore catch Palumbo and Vito off guard and use their quickness to get the upperhand on them. The Jung Dragons come back though and attack Helms and Moore and they fight to the back. Well that lasted about 1:00 and there's not really much to rate.
- FBI vs. The Dudley Boyz. We go to commercial and when we come back, D-Von gets a hot tag. Bubba fights off both men. They try to hit a Double Suplex but Bubba turns it into a Double DDT, Palumbo gets set up for the WHASUP drop, D-Von goes to cover but Vito breaks it up. 3-D~! Nunzio distracts the ref and Palumbo hits the superkick on D-Von to get the pin at 3:01 shown. *1/2
Afterwards the Dudley's put Nunzio through the table.
- FBI vs. Eddy Guerrero & Yoshihiro Tajiri. Tajiri and Eddy clean house to start. Nunzio shakes out the cobwebs to interject himself into the match giving FBI the advantage on Tajiri. However the match gets out of hand quick with all four men in the ring. It ends with Tajiri putting the Tarantula on Nunzio and Eddy hitting the Frog Splash at 4:09. *3/4
- Eddy Guerrero & Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Team Angle. Eddy and Haas start and we get a wrestling sequence a la Malenko/Guerrero. Eddy guets the upperhand and tags Tajiri who comes in with his kick and punch offense to take Haas down. Tajiri goes for a thrust kick but Haas catches it and takes him down with Dragon sweep takeover. Now Haas and Benjamin work the leg of Tajiri and we go to commercial. We come back and Benjamin has Tajiri in the Inverted Figure Four. Tajiri makes the ropes. Benjamin breaks clean and rushes to swipe Tajiri's knee but Tajiri rolls over it sending Benjamin to the outside he comes in for the hot tag, but Haas stops it. The ref sends Haas back to the corner and Tajiri makes the tag but the ref misses it. Team Angle get the Heart Attack on Tajiri's leg, and Eddy breaks the count. Now all four men brawl, and the ref calls the match? Lasted 12:01 with commercial. ***1/4
- First Round Match, Christian vs. Goldberg. Christian comes out with Jericho and Storm. He says that as much as he'd love to teach Goldberg a lesson he can't due to injury and that Jericho and Storm is the only suitable replacement for him. Goldberg doesn't like it so he spears him and goes for the cover but the match hasn't started yet. The ref rings the bell and goes immediately for the cover but Jericho pulls the ref out of the ring. The ref pushes Jericho so Jericho clocks him. Goldberg comes out and chases Jericho around ringside. Storm catches Goldberg with the superkick. They roll him back into the ring and Christian hits the Impaler. The ref comes to and Disqualifies Christian at 3:44. * Afterwards Goldberg chases Jericho to the back.
- Backstage RVD and Kane talk about their upcoming match. RVD leaves, and a mysterious masked man comes in and jumps Kane with a crowbar.
- "Coach" is in the back with Booker T. Booker tells how he has unfinished business with Triple H and how he will stop at nothing to get his world title. Matt Hardy interrupts and does some trash talking.
- First Round Match, Rob Van Dam vs. Kane. Kane comes to the ring with taped ribs, and he is barely mobile. Rob Van Dam catches him off-guard with his speed. He takes him down and goes up to for the FSFS but only gets two~! However, another one puts Kane away at 3:31. *1/2
- Shane-o-Mac is in the backstage area with his Vince. He talks about his issue with Hogan and how it is not good for television. He says a week from Thursday there will be a No Holds Barred tag team match with him and Piper vs. Hulk Hogan and whomever he chooses as a partner. Vince argues that it is not fair because he is not a wrestler. Shane makes the stip that Hogan's parter can not be under contract to the WWE.
- First Round Match, Matt Hardy vs. Booker T. Booker T starts out the house of fire. Hardy fights back and works over Booker T's neck. Booker T makes his comeback and is firing on all cylinders. Triple H runs down. He causes Booker T to fall vicitm to the Twist-of-Fate and that's the finish at 7:12. **3/4 Afterwards Hardy and Triple H double-team Booker, until Nash runs down to make the save, Triple H runs and Matt Hardy gets the Jack-knife.
- Main Event, First Round Match, Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio, Jr. Can you believe Jericho vs. Mysterio, Jr. in a WWE Title Tournament Match is the Main Event? Anyways we get Jericho controlling the start of the match and taunting Mysterio. Mysterio comes back with some High Impact offense, and the Canadian Lackeys come down to distract the ref so Jericho can get the upperhand. Jericho controls again, Rey fights back and sets up a 6-1-9 but Storm blocks it. Rey gets distracted allowing Jericho to hit the Breakdown and Lionsault for the three count at 6:58. *** Afterwards the Canadians go to work on Mysterio, and Goldberg makes the save. End of Show
Bottom Line: WOW! I don't know if I can ever remember a RAW as consistantly solid as this one. I guess it's pretty obvious that Heyman's got the book again. The WWE sigs Hidaka, Christopher Daniels, Paul London and AJ Styles apparently proving they want more wrestling on their show. Every match was solid, and the Hogan/Vince feud is over once and for all.
__________________________________________________________________________________
The SmarKdown! Rant. 6/19/03
Your Hosts are Michael Cole & Tazz
- Video Review of Monday's Events.
- TONIGHT'S MAIN EVENT: Goldberg & Rey Mysterio, Jr. vs. Chris Jericho & Christian.
- Opening Interview. Triple H comes down. Crap! Apparently Monday's .02 ratings drop scared the WWE to drop Heyman from the Book again. Triple H talks about his match with Brock at Fully Loaded. He gives us a little history and then he's done. Well hey it was only like 5 or 6 minutes.
- First Round Match, Spanky vs. Kurt Angle. Angle shows respect to Spanky by actually giving him a handshake before the match. The do some wrestling to start and of course Kurt Angle gets the better of that. Spanky decides to start using his speed to catch Angle off guard, and it works. He is connecting with every bit of his offense. Angle goes to the outside and Spanky follows with a cannonball. Back inside Spanky goes for the Enziguiri and Angle ducks it and goes to work on the leg. Angle works over the leg for a good portion of the match and we go to commercial. We come back and Angle has Spanky grounded but the crowd get behind him and he starts to mount a comeback. Sliced Bread #2, but his leg gives out, and Angle capitalizes with a figure four to finish at 11:43 with commercials. ***3/4 Afterwards Team Angle come down as Angle helps Spanky back up. Team Angle attack Spanky and Angle helps fight them off.
- Hurricane Helms and Shannon Moore talk about the Injustice at Tag Team Turmoil.
- First Round Match, Rhyno vs. Big Show. Rhyno immediately goes on the offensive and he PILEDRIVES the Big Show for the three at :54. Afterwards Big Show sells the neck injury. DUD
- We go to the back to find The Canadian Lackeys warming up for Storm's match against Nash that is coming up.
- We come back from commercial with a review of what just happend.
- First Round Match, Lance Storm vs. Kevin Nash. Nash controls to start and Triple H comes out to get Storm disqualified at :47. Wow another DUD
- Backstage Booker T complains about what happend to him last week. The Canadian Lackeys come back and Intervene saying it happend to them just now. They then attack Booker T and announce that it is about time for them to unvail their newest member.
- Fully Loaded '03 Announcements: Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar for the WWE Title. The Finals of the No.1 Contender Tournament. Eddy & Tajiri vs. Team Angle for the WWE Titles 2/3 Falls.
- The Fallen Angels backstage segment with Piper and McMahon.
- Ikuto Hidaka, Ultimo Dragon & Three Count vs. The Fallen Angels & The Jung Dragons. Way too much action to call here. It finally slows down after about five minutes with Shannon Moore playing the face-in-peril. Hot tag to Ikuto Hidaka who stiffs the hell out of everyone until O'Haire comes in to stop him. The ref sends O'Haire to the outside and Hurricane coems in with a high cross body on Daniels that gets two. Hurricanrana gets two for Yang. Ultimo Dragon hits the Asai Moonsault for two. Christopher Daniels hits the Last Rights for two. Ikuto Hidaka stiff kick gets two, and finally Sean O'Haire hits the Seanton for the three at 12:01. **** Amazing non stop action. Take that NWA!
- Hogan Interview: His partner next week will be Zack Gowan. The Fallen Angels and Piper interrupt the Interview. Shane-o-Mac says that even though the match next week will be No Holds Barred, The Fallen Angels will be barred from the ring.
- Eddy Guerrero vs. Charlie Haas. Wrestling sequence to start. Eddy starts to get some offense in and Shelton Benjamin attacks at 1:59 drawing a disqualification. Team Angle continue to work Eddy, Tajiri comes down and they double-team him. Kurt Angle comes down with a chair and that clears the ring. 3/4*
- Shane announces the WWE Cruiserweight Title Tournament which will start on June 29th on Sunday Night HEaT. The Dudley Boyz ask Shane for a match with FBI at Fully Loaded. Shane agrees.
- Brock Interview: Brock talks about the match at Fully Loaded with Triple H. Triple H comes down and interrupts. Then Kevin Nash follows and complains about Triple H's interference, and states that he can't wait to face Trip at Summerslam for the Title. Brock intervenes and says that he won't be facing Triple H at Summerslam.
- First Round Match, John Cena vs. Chris Benoit. Cena comes down and before he can even get his rhymes out we hear "Wolverine" over the loud speaker and Benoit comes out and cleans house. Cena pulls the ropes down as Benoit charges and takes over. Cena misses a blind charge and injures his shoulder. Benoit goes to work on the shoulder setting up the Crippler Crossface at 8:33. ***
- Main Event, Chris Jericho & Christian vs. Goldberg & Rey Mysterio, Jr. Mysterio and Goldberg go on the offensive to start sending the Canadian's to the outside. They ground Goldberg when they get back in, and then Mysterio plays face-in-peril. Christian and Jericho control the ref's attention and cut the ring off nicely. Mysterio reverses an Impaler into a backslide for two. Christian sends Rey into the ropes with an Irish Whip, but Rey hits a Asai moonsault, and gets the hot tag to Goldberg who cleans house. The ref tries to regain control, and Christian nails Goldberg with the IC Title. Mysterio, hits the 6-1-9 on Jericho who is covering. He then turns around into an Impaler for the three at 11:02. ***1/2 Great Tag Team Match
Bottom Line: Guess What?! Four Awesome matches makes this another great show. I love the direction the WWE is going right now. We are guaranteed two awesome matches now at Fully Loaded with the Cruiserweight Fourway and the 2/3 Falls Tag Match. Triple H/Brock could be entertaining if kept short. And sadly it looks like they are heading towards a Goldberg/Nash finals in the Number One Contender's Tournament. But hey I can honestly say it doesn't matter what happens at the top anymore because we are getting absolutely stellar undercard work from everyone now.
