|
| CURRENT
RECORD: 3/1/0 |
DATE
OF RP: 03/08/03 |
ACCOMPLISHMENT: -Ex-TV Champion- |
|
~~We fade into the usual hang-out spot of Simply Magic Mike MacDougan, the coffeeshop known as "The Beehive", and it is a lively night; people of all sorts and types are making their way around the shop, holding cups of joe and cans and bottles of whatever it is they may be drinking for the night. The camera pans around the area, coming finally upon to a back corner where we find the usual group of delinquents, rivetheads, or, for those less cultured, industrial music followers. Among this scattered group of 4, we find Mike MacDougan, sipping on a black cup of coffee and nodding in beat to the music...KMFDM's "Today".~~ O'BRIAN: That's what I'm talking about! Do you seriously think you can pull out that ammount of ampage on that shitty system you have? You want to be serious, you're gonna need some serious gear. TWEAK: Yeah, I do. What do you think it'll take? O'BRIAN: Tell ya what...it'll be a little costly, but I can get you set up with a decent system for around $1000. Has everything you'll need...turntables, mixer, amp, all the hookups, and I'll throw in some vinyl for your trouble. I know this guy who has a kick-ass system he wants to unload cheap. Can't get any better than this. ~~The two continue to talk as a smile forms on the lips of Simply Magic.~~ MONA: My baby doll knows what he's talking about. O'BRIAN: Just give me the word, and it's yours. TWEAK: Lemme think about it. MAGIC: Think too much, and it could be gone...just like that, man. MONA: Whose sytem is that, baby? ~~Mike looks up.~~ TWEAK: What's in it? O'BRIAN: Guy I know out of DC. Good vinyl...we're talking some Skinny Puppy, Throbbing Gristle, NIN, KMFDM, Assemblage, Gridlock, some other stuff...lots of background ambience stuff. Guy didn't really use it, but decided to invest in it anyway. I told him not to, but, thats what ya get, huh? TWEAK: Sounds like an awesome deal man. Can I get his email addy? RIVETHEAD: Maybe that'll get you out of that parlor. MAGIC: Look at O'Brian coming up with all the deals... MONA: That's my boy. ~~O'Brian smiles as he writes down the email address. Mike stands up and begins to pace around the table.~~ MAGIC: Nothing short, man...nothing short. Now I just need to figure out how to handle these guys...O'Brian! ~~O'Brian looks up at Mike.~~ O'BRIAN: What you need, man? MAGIC: We need to talk. ~~We fade to black as O'Brian nods to Magic.~~  ~~We fade back into a shot of a side alley. There is a trailer pulled into the alley, and there is a man on a sort of side step porch thing with a grill selling kabobs and wontons. To the locals, this place is known as "Cat on a Stick", but to everyone else its a sort off the main strip eaterie open mainly all night every night to catch the heavy ammount of bar traffic and late-night revelers that populate the area in Pittsburgh known as "Southside". Ah, yes...Southside...the very hive of drunken club-goers and beer-swigging, martini tipping, vodka swilling public that makes up much of Pittsburgh. This is where we also find the coffee shop that harbors the one and only "Simply Magic" Mike MacDougan, and it is in this very back alley, with Cat on a Stick, off the main drag of Carson street, with its whipping motorcycles, rough and tumble SUVs full of college students, limos, and the always present sirens of cops, firefighters, and paramedics, that we find Magic Mike. Chaos, pure, unbridled chaos abounds...and Simply Magic fits right in. When you think of Carson Street, think of "Blade Runner"...without the flying cars, abounding criples and midgets (although Southside does have its fair share of both), and blimps with ads. Carson Street is, simply, the modern day place to be in a world gone to shit...they just don't know it yet. Mike is talking to O'Brian, flailing his arms around talking and looking at the sky. O'Brian stands, watching him silently.~~ MAGIC: And then...then, get this...he wants a special match. What the f*** did I do to deserve this? Dukes wants to make it a street fight- O'BRIAN: He wants to do what?! MAGIC: Just what I said...a street fight. I don't think the dolt can get it through his head...I won the title from a hardcore rules match...I was born and bred for hardcore rules, and, to top it all off, my old man trained me with hardcore rules. Hell...a streetfight? I may end up killing them...the last time a MacDougan was in a streetfight rules, he nearly killed Byan Tann...and this MacDougan is no different. A streetfight...fancy that. The entire federation is playing into my hands...never, never give a MacDougan a streetfight or a hardcore rules match...hell, anything with a severe lack of rules with a MacDougan is a bad idea. That doesn't mean we fight dirty...far, far from that idea...but we fight harder and more viscious when there isn't anythng holding us back. A streetfgiht...this couldn't get any more perfect. O'BRIAN: What if they made it a No DQ streetfight? ~~Mike pauses, looks down at O'Brian and laughs out loud.~~ O'BRIAN: They may as well give you the title. MAGIC: Yeah, that would definately make things better...but I'd be more than happy to take this. Hell...if I had even the smallest grain of pity for these schmucks, I'd tell them no way in hell...but they've dug themsevles into this one...may as well let them have what they want. O'BRIAN: Uh...Mike, there is a camera here. Why don't you tell them that? We did bring it along for a reason. ~~Mike pauses, and then laughs again. He turns to the camera.~~ MAGIC: Oh, my manners...what is wrong with me? So sorry to be talking about you folks in the third person, as if you don't hear what I'm saying...its just that this is so damn f***ing funny. I get to give it all in a three-way match, and, to make things that much sweeter, Dukes wants to make it a streetfight. Too, too perfect...material to make a night magical...Simply Magical. Where do I begin? O'BRIAN: How about with Sonny naming off all those stage magicians? That was my favorite part...he seemed so...knowlegable. It's as if he really understands where you're coming from... MAGIC: Yeah, I'm sure that Sonny feels my pain, and understands that what I do on stage is just a magic trick, meant to amuse the audience. You know what, Sonny? That crap isn't magic, thats someone giving a slight of hand. Simply Magic doesn't do slights of hand...when you look at Mike MacDougan, and when you look at how he performs in the ring, you can only think of one damn thing..."That boy is simply magic!" That's me, Simply Magic...I hate to tell everyone this...hell, it should be apparent to anyone with half a brain...like yourself...but that's just what I have to do. No one understands how I do it, how I can take a beating and come back fresher than a Pinsol scrubbed floor...oh, and I loved the OxyClean reference...truly classy, Sonny...but there are a few things that can be, and must be, understood before I go any further...You may want to start thinking about a few other things, because by the time this match is over, you're gonna be asking yourself what the hell went wrong, and why you didn't win. I need to be Houdini himself to beat you, huh? Houdini couldn't hold a candle to my type of magic. The only disappearing act tomorrow night will be your own personal well-being. Penn and Teller...well, any moron can get his own show on Showtime if you market yourself right...thats their only magic. Parlor tricks is all these men are famous for...oddities that, when you get down to it, are nothing more than simply tricks of misdirection. Simply Magic doesn't work that way, Lightning boy. You'll see me coming, and I won't hide a goddam thing from you...but when it's all said and done, there is no explanation as to what happened. It's simply magical. Houdini was a putz, David Copperfield is a fake, and Penn and Teller are nothing more than a two-man funny sideshow...catch my drift? ~~Magic paces in front of the camera, wrenching his hands.~~ O'BRIAN: So what will it be? Infomercial or Showtime? MAGIC: They just might give me my own infomerical on Showtime after this match...I take tough stains out, Sonny. Oh, you were never so right...I have a bit of laundry to do in the ASW, and the first stain I'm taking out is one that goes by the byline of Electricity Personified. You're a tough one to crack, we've seen it before...but after Sunday you'll be just another shitstain on the tighty-whiteys of the ASW...nothing your common household cleaner couldn't take out. And then there is the win my family holds over you- O'BRIAN: Courtesy of Krev MacDougan- MAGIC: -the man himself, indeed. Much different this time, Sonny...you've felt the crunch of a MacDougan before, oh there is no doubting that...but you haven't felt the crunch of a MacDougan who is Simply Magic. It stings harder than anything you've ever felt before, but the pain is oh so sweet...I'm gonna get done with you, and you'll be glad you stepped in the ring with this ladder rung, and aided me into becoming the top rung. After that...after it's all said and done...I just might give you that double cheeseburger that I can buy with my buck and my victory. You're gonna need the pick-me-up. ~~Magic pauses in front of the camera, taking a long swig of something from a bottle.~~ MAGIC: And Dukes...David Dukes...your words are sweet music to my ears. You want to make things interesting...you want to give the match a little flair...you want a match that will send your ass into intensive care is what you want. I'm not going to deny you your deathwish...if you want a streetfight, I'd be more than happy to oblige. I can wrestle in my street gear as easily as I can with my ring gear, and I guarantee that these size 16 boots are gonna be more than happy to show you the tough part of the wrong end. There's a little thing in the 'Burgh we call a "Steel City Streetfight." Normally, these matches were carried out in Pittsburgh alone...Sonny might be able to testify...and they were the biggest, baddest streetfights of them all...but they've been held elsewhere...not with the same effect, mind you, but effective nonetheless. It's a match that the only legal weapons are those made out of steel...your imagination is the limit. I know the fights...hell, I grew up in the Steel City Streetfight kitchen. I've done my time in those rings, and I can and will testify that streetfights are the hardfights not for the weak of heart. I was born and raised on the things...the old man wouldn't have wanted it any differently. If he couldn't teach you something that wasn't as useful in the street as it was in the ring, then it wasn't worth teaching. You two may be scrapping for the contendor spot, but this man right here...this Simply Magical man right here...he isn't scrapping. That spot is as good as his...he just has a few stains to take out before he reclaims his rightful spot. I'll take your match, Dukes... ~~Mike nods to the camera, and then he and O'Brian turn to leave. Mike stops and turns back.~~ MAGIC: ...and I'm gonna be hearing the thunder when your asses goes down. I will indeed remember facing both of you for a long time...can't say you will, but thats how the cookies crumble, eh? Boys, my knees are already bleeding, and it looks like my prayers have been answered. I got my match, didn't I? ~~Mike give the camera a million-dollar shit-eating grin as it begins to rain...drizzle down on the hungry street. Slowly we fade to black as a downpour erupts, covering the ground with a thick layer of water. Somewhere, off in the distant...very, very far off...we can hear a rumble of thunder..~~ |
 |