Jeff Jarrett- Must you do that?

Debra- Do what?

Jeff Jarrett- Play with your hair like that, it’s annoying, and it shows a lack of concentration and right now, concentration is what we need.

Debra- Sorry, it’s just, I know you’ve got this match coming up and it’s huge and all, and all that’s on your mind is talking big and tough with the other guys, who are just doing the same too… All I seem to be able to do is sit back and watch.

Jeff Jarrett- You don’t have to sit back and watch, if it’ll make you quit your yapping, we could go and rent a movie?

Debra- Sure, why not.

Jeff Jarrett- Good, so what do you want to see?

Debra- Uh, how about that new Spy Kids movie. I heard it’s pretty funny?

Jeff Jarrett- Isn’t that a kids film?

Debra- Heh, so you’ve already seen it then?

Jeff Jarrett- No, I don’t need to, I just watched Jaime Noble’s promo. It’s pretty much the same thing isn’t it? Brother and sister running around getting in wacky adventures and trying to be cool and funny?

Debra- Uh, I think Noble and Nidia are boyfriend and girlfriend?

Jeff Jarrett- Boyfriend.. Brother.. Sister.. Girlfriend.. What’s the difference to Noble and his trailer trash family? Spy Kids is just like Noble and Nidia, I’m telling you now.. Plus.. Noble is about the same size as the kid in the film isn’t he?

Debra- I guess, although, watching the movie seems shorter, and some of the stuff in it is relevant to something unlike a Noble promo. But hey, we’ll get something you haven’t seen.

Jeff Jarrett- What? I don’t have time to watch it with you, I just suggested it so you wouldn’t be in my face about being bored or something.

Debra sighs, looking disappointed.

Debra- Oh..

Jeff Jarrett- Yea, I mean, what do you expect? Me to just drop everything, my world title shot, my pride, my reputation and my career, just so I can watch some stupid film with you because you have nothing to do?

Debra- No…

Jeff Jarrett- Exactly, don’t worry about it though, in just a few short weeks I would have beaten Noble and beaten that slapnuts Chris Jericho and I’ll be coming home with the world title and I’ll have UPW in the palm of my hand, do you understand the power that I will have once I have fulfilled my destiny as The Chosen One, The Chosen One to take this company and run with it, I’m going to come home with everything… everything, right there, in the palm of my hand.

Jarrett opens up his palm, and when Debra leans to take a look, he snaps it back making her flinch in her seat. He smirks as she parts the hair from her eyes.

Debra- Those who want everything, usually end up with nothing though…

Jeff Jarrett- Well, look, if it isn’t a walking talking blonde bimbo Chinese fortune cookie! What the hell was that? Those who want everything end up with nothing? How long have you been saving that one up, waiting to use it on the right moment? Damn woman, you sure are a sorry case! Don’t you understand that I’m Jeff Jarrett and that means it’s not that I necessarily just want everything, it means I’m too freaking good not to get it! I’m too good to be eliminated by a jumped up miniature piece of trailer trash like Jaime Noble, when people look at Noble they instantly see a useless no good country boy with about as much talented and championship potential as a broken fence, and the charisma to match! But when they look at me, they see the best man to get the job done, they see a wrestling messiah, they see the king of the mountain, when they hear my name like place it next to perfection, when they look at me, they see perfection, when I see myself in the mirror in the morning when I wake up, I see perfection! Jaime Noble hasn’t been the same since he returned because he doesn’t have that little X-Title to make him look good anymore, I see through his games, I see through his little petty words and insults and I know that deep down inside, Jaime knows he can’t take me even on his best day. He isn’t prepared, he isn’t ready to face the Chosen One.. I mean look at his path to this match, it’s been easy, almost like the powers that be have just laid him out a path and a trail of breadcrumbs to follow, hell, they practically gave him this world title tournament! Rob Conway and Charlie Haas, I could beat them spinning on my head! His path hasn’t been anywhere near as testing as mine, I had to beat Sting, the current X-Champion, then I had to win a triple threat match against a guy that wanted to crush my skull more than anything in this world. That ain’t no easy run, management were trying to hold the Chosen One down, trying to stop him getting to the finals but they couldn’t, because this is my destiny, this is my calling in life, this is what I live, breath, fight and would die for.. This is my calling in life and I’ll be damned if anything stops me climbing the UPW mountain, I’m never going to stop climbing until I reach the top! Until I reach the very pinnacle of the UPW mountain, holding the title high above my head! Jaime Noble doesn’t fool me with his fun and games, I already know who is going to leave X-Fire with to go and face Chris Jericho for the easiest title match of my career, I already know what so called ‘redneck’ is going to face that joke Y2J.. But it seems, people are betting on the wrong ‘redneck’..

Jarrett looks at Debra, who is staring out of the window.

Jeff Jarrett- God damn it, look at me when I’m talking to you.

Jarrett leans forward and grabs her by her arm forcefully, yanking her towards him. She snaps out of her daze and quickly pulls her arm back, cradling it by her chest as it seemed to have hurt her.

Debra- Sorry…

Jeff Jarrett- I said people are betting on the wrong, so called, ‘redneck’ this week..

Debra- Who?

Jeff Jarrett- Oh, come on…

Debra- Oh, Jaime Noble.

Jeff Jarrett- Yeah, that annoying little prick is like a thorn in my side. Everybody thinks he helped me win against Johnny Stamboli which is pure crap, I had him right where I wanted him, I was just about to hit The Stroke and put that Italian gangster wannabe back where he belongs, out of my spotlight and into the dark, where all the jobbers and nobodies gather! I was second away from hitting my move and pinning for the one, two, three or my name isn’t Jeff Jarrett but no, that little glory hound Jaime Noble decided to come in and try and steal my spotlight, and try to make it seem like I needed his help to win a match! Hah, that’ll be the day when a talented athlete like myself needs help from somebody who has never lived in any accommodation with a flight of stairs.. Damn trailer trash doesn’t even deserve to be in my ring… And then, and then, as if he hasn’t already slapped me in the face by stealing my glory, he hits me with that stupid stick, and is now running around claiming he laid me out, claiming he KO’ed the Chosen One!?

Debra looks out of the window again, not paying much attention.

Debra- Yea..

Jeff Jarrett- Well guess what? He didn’t KO me, he did the single one thing that you don’t do in this business! Moses wrote the ten commandments on stone as they are the word of god and if they are broken, all hell is broken lose, well I wrote this one commandment on my shirt because it is the word of god, the world of Double J, and It says Don’t piss me off! But you see, last week, Jaime Noble did the unthinkable and he pissed me off, he broke the only commandment in this wrestling industry and he better believe that I’m going to strike down with great vengance furious anger upon that little midget who dared try to disobey me, the king of the mountain, and more importantly, the leader of this god damn planet that I ALLOW, yes, ALLOW him to wrestle in and that’s UPW or Planet Jarrett as I like to call it, and you’re damn right I allow him to wrestle on it, I’ve got so much power I could click my fingers and I’d have him wiped off the roster, just like that..

Jarrett clicks his fingers.

Jeff Jarrett- Heh, what do you think happened to Matt Hardy last week? I have so much power I could buy the world title, I have so much power I could say one plus one equals four and it would be so, I have so much god damn power I could just clap and Trish Stratus would be asshole naked right in front of me, just like that, blam! So don’t think I couldn’t get Jaime Noble out of here before you can say Trailer Hitch, I just don’t want to because where’s the fun in that? I’d rather personally show him the door with as my foot connects with his ass and scores a field goal that any football star would cream their pants over.. Oh it’s the truth, you better believe it..

Debra- Uh huh.

Jeff Jarrett- Hell yeah! Plus the fact, I mean, come on, this tournament is the chance to fulfil my destiny and to finally get a footing on the summit that I belong on, and that’s right on the top of mount UPW, what kind of champion would I be if I couldn’t dispose of one pocket sized redneck? The kind of champion that I’m not, that would make me a loser like HHH or The Rock, but me, Jeff Jarrett, takes on any and all, I took Edge and Jeff Hardy and beat them out of UPW, carried them to the finest matches of their careers and booted them out, I took that freak Sting and made him eat a facefull of mat and I even, just last week, beat that Italian gangster phoney, dead centre, one, two, three.. After all that, beating an unskilled, undereducated redneck will be like taking candy from a baby… And a retarded baby at that!

Debra sighs, looking out of the window still. Jarrett glares noticing she isn’t paying attention.

Jeff Jarrett- Monkeys can fly higher than leprechauns on treadmills…

Debra- Yea…

Jeff Jarrett- You’re not even listening to me!

Debra snaps out of her daydream, and looks at Jeff innocently.

Debra- What? Yes I am…

Jeff Jarrett- What the hell did I say then?

Debra- Uh, it was… Uh.. About Jaime Noble?

Jeff Jarrett- Pfft, you weren’t even listening, I don’t know what I’m going to do with you sometimes.

Debra- I know what you could do with me…

Debra unbuttons her shirt a little.

Jeff Jarrett- Ugh, can you think about anything other than sex? I’ve got a huge match to prepare for and that’s what is on your mind.. We need concentration!

Debra- It will help you concentrate.. Plus I’m bored, and unsatisfied, I bet most of the divas here are unsatisfied because all you men seem to do is blow hot air and talk trash about each other, and if they are satisfied.. I’m jealous!

Jeff Jarrett- Bored?! Unsatisfied?! Jealous of other women?! How can you even say those things when you are sitting opposite the next, and best, UPW world heavyweight champion?!

Debra- listening to you talk about Jaime Noble, do you really think that is fun for me?

Jeff Jarrett- So what is fun for you? Actually, wait, don’t answer that, this isn’t even about you! Why, of all the times in the world, do you choose to bug me about this NOW?

Debra- To help you keep your focus, we’ve still got a while until your match, and if you keep talking and thinking about what Noble did to you last week you’ll probably start doubting yourself and your abilities, right now, by my watch, we still have a little bit of time before your match so why not take your mind off Jaime Noble, off the world title gold.. And put it on me.. Put it all on me.

Jeff Jarrett- Ugh, look, I just don’t have the right motivation, I mean he hit me with a-

Jarrett is interrupted as Debra begins to strip, taking her top off. Jarrett stares.

Jeff Jarrett- Uh.. That works! Hurry, let’s go!

Jarrett jumps up and pulls Debra by her arm towards the open doorway.

Jeff Jarrett- You got your watch?

Debra- Yes.

Jeff Jarrett- Okay, set the timer. I don’t want to forget about the match.

Debra- Okay!

Debra and Jarrett open the door and enter the room, shutting the door behind them. It then opens slightly, and a hand reaches around, hooking a do not disturb sign on the door as the scene fades.

The cameras fade back in from a commercial break. Jeff Jarrett is seen striding down the corridors, guitar in hand, and a pissed off look in his eye. He turns the corner and stops outside The Rock’s office, he knocks on the door, and again but still to no answer. He goes to knock again but the door gets pulled open and The Rock stares Jarrett back, eye to eye.

The Rock- What? What in the blu- Oh, wait, if it isn’t The Rock’s favourite little country dancer.

Jeff Jarrett- Singer…

The Rock- Whatever, so what the hell do you want? The Great One is sleepy and the last thing The Rock needs right now is to listen to a personal and interactive Jeff Jarrett promo just a few inches in front of The Rock’s face.

Jeff Jarrett- You know exactly why I’m here!

The Rock- Enlighten The Great One..

Jeff Jarrett- What the hell kind of games do you think your playing?

The Rock pauses and looks around, asking the cameramen what the hell is going on.

The Rock- So you came all this way, put on your best little cowboy boots, your sparkly shorts, your silly little shades…

Jeff Jarrett- They ar-

The Rock- Hey! Hey! Hey! Don’t talk back to The Rock, he wasn’t finished, do that again and The Rock will do you a favour and slap those style repellent shades off your ugly little face! As The Rock was saying, you came all this way, in front of The Rock’s very own locker room, to ask what The Great One’s preferred game is?

Jeff Jarrett- No! I’m talking about the lumberja-

The Rock- The Rock knows what you mean, and The Rock will kindly answer your question! When The Rock gets a little family time, The Rock likes to get his wife and his daughter and play a little monopoly. Oh yeah! You bet your damn trailer that The Rock buys Smackdown Hotel right on Jabroni Drive, flies around that board, collects $200 and whoops some candy ass! Yeah!

The Rock looks proud of himself as Jarrett begins to get frustrated.

Jeff Jarrett- you’re really starting to piss me off!

The Rock- Heh, oh yeah, that’s one of The Rock’s favourite past times too, ain’t you the clever little jabroni for guessing that, help yourself to a cookie..

Jeff Jarrett- No! I …Ugh… Listen to me before I break your god damn neck, I’m here to talk about the ridiculous stipulation about the lumberja-

The Rock- Excuse The Rock, somebody his calling The Great One..

Jarrett raises an eyebrow, as he hears nothing but silence, regardless The Rock goes back into the locker room and shuts the door. Jarrett glares and bangs on the wood.

Jeff Jarrett- Hey! Get back out here damnit, I’m the next world champion and if I want to talk with you about something you can bet your ass we’re going to talk about it!

Silence.

Jeff Jarrett- Yea… I know you can hear me.. What the hell are you playing at with this lumberjack stipulation?!

There’s silence for a moment or two, and then the sound of a bolt sliding across, locking.

Jeff Jarrett- What the hell?! Rock! Rock, get out here!!

A voice comes from the other side of the door, it’s muffled, but clearly recognisable..

The Rock- Uh, The Rock ain’t here right now..

Jeff Jarrett- God damn it, get out here now!

Jarrett bangs on the door, as the muffled voice continues..

The Rock- Please leave a message after the beep..

Jarrett curses under his breath, and kicks the bottom of the door hard. He stares at the Rock’s nameplate on the door before shaking his head and ripping it off, stepping on it as it hits the ground. He swings his guitar up to rest on his shoulder and turns around into Michael Cole.

Michael Cole- Jeff Jarrett…

Jeff Jarrett sighs.

Michael Cole- Jeff, firstly, congratulations on beating Johnny Stamboli buddy.

Jarrett blinks, he turns to the camera, and then back at Cole.

Jeff Jarrett- First of all, I’m not your buddy, second of all didn’t I lay it down in stone that I would beat Johnny Stamboli, one, two, three, dead centre, just like those before him once the talking was done and it was time to actually grow a pair they all kinda shrank when they stepped into the ring with The Chosen One. Stamboli was no different, he portrayed the image of some hardcore thug but in reality he was just another hyped up jobber.

Michael Cole- You didn’t get it done alone you-

Jeff Jarrett- Yes, yes, hush about that! As far as I’m concerned it was only a mere matter of seconds before I had hooked in the Stroke and laid Stamboli out to rest, what Noble did was make things come to an abrupt end… Which I heard is what also happens in the bedroom department with Nidia.. Get it? Come to an abrupt end? It’s a play on words Cole, I mean when he’s…

Michael Cole- I get it..

Jeff Jarrett- Then why the hell aren’t you laughing?

Michael Cole- Because I found it distasteful..

Jarrett sighs and looks around at the crew behind the cameras, almost in disbelief.

Jeff Jarrett- What the- How old are you man? Are you like, one of those guys who still lives with his momma and is protected and smothered by her his whole life.. Is that you Cole? They make documentaries about people like you, guys like you usually end up either freaking retarded or child molesters and to be honest, I don’t think you’re too certain yourself which path your going to take.

Michael Cole- … No.

Jeff Jarrett- Whoa, I didn’t mean to offend you there, my bad buddy.

Michael Cole- I thought you said I’m not your buddy?

Jeff Jarrett- Oh you’re not, I just thought I’d build you up so you thought you had a friend and then kick you back down again, truth is Cole, I hate you, you annoy every fibre of my being and that cheap aftershave you wear makes even my arm hairs stand on end, it’s disgusting! I’m way too important and busy to be talking to a slapnuts like you, I’ve got places to go, things to do..

Michael Cole- Like what?

Jeff Jarrett- Like what? I ought to slap you, but I won’t… because I like you, buddy. You see now I’ve made it to the official finals of this stupid world title tournament I’m a big name player, I can drawer crowds bigger than your fat momma’s granny panties, people will do anything to come and see me and they’d do anything for me. Why you ask? Because right now, they know, that I am the next world champion of UPW, they’d line up at the doors for weeks on end just to catch a glimpse of me and that’s why I’m going to win this tournament Cole, I’ve decided that I’m going to do it… For the fans.

Jarrett nods, having an almost modest look on his face as Cole seems shocked.

Michael Cole- Well that's great you're doing it for the fans, it never hurts to have another hero to look up to...

Jeff Jarrett- No, you didn’t let me finish, I’m going to do it for the fan’s… money! I mean it man, wrestling fans are complete idiots, anything with my face or my name on it, they’re going to buy it because they think it’s going to make them feel and look as good as me, seriously, they’ll buy anything at those merchandise stands at these events..

Jarrett leans down, and from off screen, he brings a t-shirt across. On the front it has written “The only one..”

Jeff Jarrett- I’m telling you, this shirt is great. And when you turn it around..

Jarrett turns it around and the sentence continues with “… Who doesn’t suck in UPW”. Jarrett laughs.

Jeff Jarrett- The fans are going to love it man, I’m telling you! And that’s not all either, The Chosen One has been rubbing his brains and thinking hard and he’s come up with another bit of Double J merch that’s going to sell quicker than when your sister dropped her panties after a few drinks..

Once again Jarrett leans off shot, and this time brings into the scene a little action figure doll of himself. He smirks and presses a button on the back and the toy speaks in Jarrett’s voice “I am the next Chosen Champion!”

Jeff Jarrett- Haha, it’s so cool! I sent one to every UPW superstar, just so they can be like “Hmm, I wonder what that living legend Jeff Jarrett would do in this situation?” They can just press the button and bam, now even the nobody wrestlers who aren’t fit to make me a cup of coffee can now hold a conversation with the Chosen One..

Jarrett presses the button again and it says “The best world champion ever”.

Jeff Jarrett- Haha, it speaks the truth though doesn’t it?

Michael Cole: Well, I guess it’s impressive.

Jarrett tosses the doll aside and smirks, pushing his shades up his nose with his middle finger.

Jeff Jarrett- You’re damn right it’s impressive, but you haven’t seen nothing yet. I’m so close to that world title, I can almost touch it, I can almost smell it, I can almost feel it on the tips of my fingers. You’re going to see a new Jeff Jarrett this X-Fire, you’re going to see a Jeff Jarrett kicking ass not just for fun or because he can, finally I have a purpose, a destiny if you will Michael, a destiny to climb to the top of the UPW mountain and claim my gold. I’m ready to innovate this wrestling business once again like I did back in the WWF and the WCW, I took wrestling by the throat, choked the life out of it, and then nursed it back to health, building each company on a solid, worthy and steady set of shoulders, and those shoulders were, and always will be mine.

Jarrett looks at Cole for a second, and then continues talking.

Jeff Jarrett- It’s never too late to innovate and re-innovate Michael. The UPW needs a new lick of paint and some new faces with fresh ideas and I’m the man who’s bringing that to the table. Week after week I have taken UPW and choked the life out of it, beating it’s so called best stars and exposing them for the fakes and the cheaters that they really are, Jeff Hardy, Edge, Matt Hardy, Johnny Stamboli, Sting, the list goes on and on but each week I have taken somebody and shown the world that they are nothing but sub-standard compared to Double J, Jeff Jarrett. I’ve choked the life out of the competition and I’ve choked the very men that the foundation of UPW was built on, I’ve rocked, cracked and broken down the foundations and now it’s time to rebuild them on a new superstar, a man talented and intelligent enough to pick up the ball and run with it and you’re talking to that man right now Michael Cole!

Jarrett points to himself with his index and middle finger, jabbing himself in the chest.

Jeff Jarrett- UPW, right now, can go three ways. The title could go to Y2Jackass Chris Jericho and he’ll lose it within, oh, a few defences, maybe two, and the federation will be back where it was where this tournament started, crumbling and in desperate need of a support. On the other hand it could go to Jaime Noble, and then what? We’d all be saying ‘yee-haw’ and spending our evenings with our farmyard animals, chewing tobacco and suddenly finding our kinfolk attractive, if Noble some how got the belt, hell, things might be going good for a while because as much as I hate the kid, there’s no denying his athletic ability, but behind the fake charade and happy hillbillies UPW will once again crumble from below because Jaime doesn’t have the smarts or the all around ability to take a company and propel it to the top. That then, leaves one man Cole, the safe and wise bet for the tournament, The Chosen One Double J, who’s taken the WWF, WCW and TNA to new heights and greener pastures, once that title goes around the waits of The Chosen One you can bet UPW will go from strength to strength to strength, people will flock from every land to come and see Jeff Jarrett conquer another mountain and kick some more ass. Luckily for UPW, the right man will leave with the title in a few weeks time, luckily for UPW there’s no way Noble or even Chris Jericho could leave with the belt because this is my time, this is my destiny and I’ll be damned if I’m stopped getting what I deserve because of a stupid redneck and a second rate rock star come third rate wrestler! It just isn’t going to happen, especially not on my watch!

Michael Cole- Well tonight you face Jaime Noble in the final of the tournament where in which the winner goes on to face Chris Jericho, who received a bye throughout the whole tournament, with the gold on the line. Firstly, about the attack on you after the match Jeff..

Jeff Jarrett- There’s no way I’m going to stand here and say it didn’t hurt, it hurt like hell! It cleaned my head out and it damn near put me in casualty over night, but you know, maybe, maybe it was a good thing because after Jaime Noble hit me, WHAM, with the stupid Stamboli stick, he damn near knocked me out.. I lay there, thinking, and I knew sooner or later that little rat bastard Jaime Noble would turn on me, in the bottom of my stomach I knew it would come and when it eventually did, you know, it made me smile. It made me want to pick myself up, dust myself down and spur myself on to not only win this tournament but teach Noble a lesson along the way. Him hitting me with the stick isn’t no thing, as the top dog in WCW I was used to being jumped, attacked, beaten down and whatever but you better believe, no matter who it was, The Chosen One always got the last laugh. Always, and tonight, in UPW, it won’t be no different. Jaime Noble wanted to try and get a bit of an advantage coming into tonight’s match but all he’s done is broken the law of Planet Jarrett, the one single law, he decided to disregard and test exactly what happens when you try to mess with Jeff Jarrett. Jaime Noble went directly against Jarrett’s law of Don’t Piss Me Off and tonight I’m going to go right ahead and deal a little southern justice back to Noble, I’m going to get a little retribution as, just like everyone else before him, tonight Jaime Noble suffers a stroke, dead centre of the ring, right there, one, two, three and once the bell has rung and the match is over, I advance on to face Chris Jericho, but you better believe that after the bell I’m going to pick Noble’s limp, bloody and battered child like body up off the ground and then make some good old music using my guitar and his ugly little gremlin shaped head because that is what happens when you piss off The Chosen One, it equals a free ride home, in an ambulance.

Michael Cole- We saw you earlier trying to talk to The Rock about the lumberjacks assigned for this match, what are your views on this?

Jarrett looks shocked; he takes his shades off and stares Michael Cole in the eye, as if he just asked the stupidest question of the century.

Jeff Jarrett- How do you think I feel? Yet again The Rock is trying to screw me out of my destiny because he’s jealous that I’m going to better his pathetic excuse for a title reign and surpass everything he could only dream about doing for this company, last week he tried to screw me by putting me in a triple threat match, the only one of the tournament I might add, and now, now he adds four guys who want to kick my ass, how do you expect me to feel Cole? Let’s just say I’m not exactly throwing a party in celebration right now, but you know something, X-Fire is going to end up looking like a party.. Only a party that The Chosen One crashed… Da Baldies are going to be thrown around the arena, lying face down in their own spit and blood, Johnny Stamboli is owed a stroke from last week and as he well knows, in the mafia world, people always.. always.. get what is owed to them .. And as for Noble, heh, he best believe that tonight I step into that ring and I take everything, everything that is owed to me, tonight my destiny comes complete in a full circle and he can either lie down and let me pin him or let me kick his ass until he is left eating out of the tube for the rest of his life, and knowing Noble as well as I do, and with his intellectual development not being what it should I’m assuming he’ll chose the second option, which is just fine with the chosen one because tonight Noble gets an ass kicking that is long overdue from last week, now choke on that and get the hell out of my way slapnuts!

Jarrett pushes Cole out of the way and storms off, ready for action and to finally, face his destiny. .