Death, Hell, and a talk with God....

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Narrator: Death is a natural stage in life. But to defy the odds and overcome death takes a special talent. Those who have lived for the moment, making a lifetime of extreme career choices defy those odds everyday. And in the end, when their time comes, it seems as if those who we care about the most and love go away too early. Some might say that it was their own choice for making a career choice so poorly, that they could live an extra twenty years had they found a job that didn’t put their health, or their very lives in danger. Fact of the matter is that those who choose that path of the extreme take their eternal clock into their own hands, and they become their own God.

Funny thing about life: God gave us the freedom of freewill. So by all technicalities we could choose when our time is up. However self termination by popular belief tends to lead people to Hell for eternal torture and suffering. I am here to say that is a load of crap. Human physiology is made up of millions of nerves and endings. This is how we can use our five senses. We all know how senses work. By sense of touch we touch the metal railing of a stairwell. The temperature sends a signal by nanowaves from the tip of your fingers to your brain, and your brain, from past knowledge learned separates what it is by logical deduction. The rail is hard, so it is a solid, and therefore not liquid. The temperature feels cool, so therefore it is below the temperature of our bodies. We all know this, but contrary to accepted principles if we self exterminate our lives we go to hell for eternity. This is where the load of crap comes in. The soul, which defines us as unique organisms, much like separate files to operate a computer, is the foundation in which we live. The soul has no nerves, or nerve endings. It has no brain, and therefore cannot think. It cannot feel. In fact a soul is transparent, it is the hidden source of our being. But it serves no other function to the human body. Once our life span is gone, and our hearts stop beating, it drifts away. Now at this point this is where things get complicated. Some would have you believe that it goes to heaven for judgment. I believe it’s an automatic response. No lines, no waiting. You do not pass go, you do not collect two hundred dollars. If the soul were to go to hell, it simply becomes a servant of the fallen angel Lucifer. There is no pain and suffering, there is no agony. You are there to serve the needs of this fallen angel. If the soul were to go to heaven, well same difference, just different place. So this leads us to the question: How do we know if we are going to heaven, or hell? It is simple. People can do bad things in life, and because of the freewill clause we are automatically given a chance to redeem ourselves. Just because you killed a burglar when they broke into your house doesn’t necessarily mean you are going to hell. Sir Isaac Newton is the founder for this clause. For every action there is a reaction. Same principle applies here. For every action there is that reaction, and that reaction becomes an action, and so on and so forth. So the action of the burglar prompts the reaction of you killing the burglar. By you killing the burglar you are arrested and either found guilty or not-guilty in a court of law. Not-guilty action, prompts you that you were justified in what happened. Guilty you go to jail, serve time, and are released on good behavior. Action reaction.

So back to the original topic: death. Out of the four stages in life, death is the most feared. To make the analogy easier, we can separate the four stages of life into colors. White, yellow, red and black. These can also signify the four races of man. First is white. When we are born we know no evil, and are as pure as the color. The second stage is yellow. We begin our long and arduous journey. This is the developmental stage where things of life are taught, also known as adolescence. The next stage is red. This signifies adulthood. We have the basic skills and needs to do what we must in life and to prepare ourselves for the final stage. The death stage, which is black. This is the most crucial stage of them all. Here we find ourselves looking back on our lives and deciding if we have lived a good life or not, or if we are satisfied. The death stage in life is feared by many because of the unknown. Thus where John Irons is at. He is at his death stage in life. He won his battle with cancer, and keeps on doing what he loves. He is also preparing himself for the biggest fight of his life. We’re not talking about A.P. Feight and Jaymz. We are talking about the final moments, just before you give your dying breath. Any time any one of us can go, for a number of reasons. For John Irons, though, his time according to advanced medicine is running short. Last December, John found out that he had less than six months left to live. Here it is the middle late of May and he feels better than ever. If fact at his last checkup the doctors couldn’t figure out why the sudden boost in morale, and in health. The only thing that John can really say is that he’s thankful he has God on his side. Though that would make a few people wonder. If John is so thankful that he has God on his side, does that mean that God is cheering for John Irons? While we can’t just cast it aside, it is personal beliefs, but just think for a minute. What if? What if God was cheering for John Irons? Why would God do that to John, rather than just for someone else that loves the spotlight on them? Someone like A.P. Feight? Because God must not like A.P. Feight. It must be true because look at the man. He is over his head in the worst possible deadly sin. Vanity. Self love. He worships himself, and truly thinks of himself as a God. That could be a good reason why God doesn’t love A.P. Feight. But what about Jaymz? Does God love Jaymz? Probably, but he’s sure as hell not a favorite. He’s casted aside like the ugly duckling. Problem is that this ugly duckling won’t ever turn into a swan. So things do look in John Irons favor when it comes to religion, or at least God. So does god love A.P. Feight? Most likely not. Does God love Jaymz? Ummm….no. So it would be suffice to say that John Irons has the backing of not only the United States, his fans, but also God as well. So now the question remains: Will God have a helping hand in John Irons quest for the Global title? Eh…no. He tends to stay out of affairs like that. If John Irons is going to win, it’s going to be purely on talent. That doesn’t mean that God won’t be sitting up there with Jesus and Moses and the rest of Heaven rooting him on. Onwards to the scene:

The scene opens to John Irons sleeping on a nice king sized bed. His wife, Chloe is standing there next to him in an almost see through nightie. She smiles and bends down to pick up a box of some sorts. For those of you who are die hard GWA fans, we know this is not just a box, but a device that is borrowed from a great GWA legend: Felix, “The Cat” Hernandez. This is of course the dream vision device, which allows us to see into the dreams of people.

Chloe: I think he’s having a good dream. Let’s take a look to see what he’s dreaming about.

She grins and turns the knob on the box, and the screen turns fuzzy for a moment, before fading in to a white picture. The scene re-fades in as We see John Irons walking on clouds. While this is a dream, it is a fair assumption that John Irons is in Heaven. He wears a long white and gold robe with sandals as he walks. All of a sudden a booming voice is heard.

Voice: John Irons, you do not belong here yet!

John: God?

Voice: I have many names. I am the Alpha and the Omega. I am the Beginning and I am the End. I am…

John: Is that a yes or a no?

Voice: Yes, I am God. Why are you here John Henry Irons?

John: I feel the need to know some truths about life.

God: Very well, you may ask.

John begins to scratch his chin for a moment and smiles.

John: God, do you love A.P. Feight?

God: I love all my children, even you John.

John: What about Jaymz?

God: umm… I do not love Jaymz. He is a sinner. And now that I think about it, so is A.P. Feight. He idolizes himself and worships fame, money and his glory. Both of these men are sure to go to hell.

John: You know, I always knew you and I saw eye to eye. So am I going to win the Global title?

God: That I cannot tell you my son.

John: Well can you help me win it?

God: John, take a walk with me.

At that moment, a ray of pure white light is seen and a man appears. He looks as if he’s old, tired and hungry. He stand about a foot and a half shorter than John, and they begin to walk.

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God: Do you know how many prayers I get with that same question line John?

John: A lot I suppose.

God: Nearly one out of every three people prays to me and asks for me to help them do something. “Dear Lord, please help me win the lottery so I don’t have to face Jack Faust. “God, help me overcome Darcy Dynamite so I can prove the idiot he is. “God, Help me find the strength to get off crack so I can become a better wrestl….ooh…bunny!” Do you see what I mean John? If I helped these people out, what would they learn? Point is my son, is that you need to do this on your own. I have faith in you.

John: Well I appreciate the vote of confidence, God. But do you, in your opinion believe I can do it? Do you think I can become the next Global Champion?

God smiles and pats John on the arm.

God: I believe you can if you put your mind to it. You are a big man John Irons. There aren’t many people out there that get the best of you, or bring you down to their level. You should use what I gave you, meaning your brain and your might to overcome the odds. You know as long as you have faith in me, I’ll have faith in you. I believe that you have a better chance at winning that title than say, Darcy Dynamite, or Jay Gold. But your chances are better than average. We’re rooting you on up here.

John: We? Who is we?

At that moment, the entire sky lights up and angels appear. There floating in the midst of them is Jesus Christ.

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Jesus: We are, my brother. We wish to see you do well, and when you eliminate the sinner Jaymz, tell him his Father is a liar and a thief.

John: Sure thing Jesus. But I have to ask a question. Do you guys ever fall asleep during an A.P. Feight promotion?

God: Yes. I have yet to watch an entire segment, because he talks too damn much. He not only is egotistical, but he’s annoying as well.

Jesus: I have to agree, Feight is amazing in the ring, no doubt. But you bring the real fans out to the ring John, and there’s plenty more that want to see you win.

John: Who?

God: The Angels.

God points upwards and John sees trillions, upon trillions of angels. They are cheering for him, some are shouting out various things in encouragement.

John: Well I’ll be damned. You know it’s one thing to know that you’re loved. But this is completely different. I am going to show the world that I am no mid card player in this game. I am going to show that I earned my shot at this title, and that I am willing to do whatever it takes to win. I can care less if the ‘great legendary’ A.P. Feight thinks I don’t belong in this match. I am going to prove them all wrong. I have the determination to accomplish this feat, and when the bell rings and it’s all over, A.P. Feight and Jaymz will eat their words. It’s kind of hard to swallow when you think about it, I mean how bad is it going to suck for Feight when he goes into the match, cocky and arrogant like he’s the king shit and I knock him down a few pegs. Then when he’s eliminated I can stare Jaymz in the eye and laugh. Not to be boastful, but to spite him. Jaymz thinks that I don’t have what it takes to win this, that I’m there for shits and giggles. You know it’s funny, because the same damn people said the exact same thing to Eddie Guerrero, and look what he’s accomplished. The one thing that I learned from Eddie, is that life will throw anything at you, it’s the matter of dodging them and getting back up to continue the battle. I believe that Feight, as well as Jaymz will see that I am not the same man either has faced before. I have a new agenda, and a new strategy. You will wonder what happened to the old John Irons, and to that I can reply: I’m still standing, and I’m still here. I just found another reason to keep me going. This fire will not burn out. This fire will continue to spread its message of truth and justice throughout Anarchy. Neither A.P. Feight or Jaymz can hold a candle to me when it comes to determination. I will see to it that this man, this enforcer of the righteous will walk away the Global Champ. And there is nothing, or anyone that can stand in my way.

God looks pleased as does his begotten Son. They both pat John on the back, as they continue their walk through Heaven.

God: John, you are amazing. I was right when I created man. Though it’s a shame they all didn’t end up like you. You have ten times the courage, and the charisma of a thousand A.P. Feights and Jaymz’ combined. However, do not let this go to your head, or you will end up like that Darcy Dynamite fellow.

Jesus: Or worse yet, you could end up like A.P. Feight.

Jesus, God, and John look at each other for a moment and then share an outburst of laughter. After a moment, when they’re calmed down they look over the edge of a cloud and peer down, as if looking down a well.

God: She is a lovely one. When she was conceived she was made in every aspect as when I created Eve.

John looks to God with a surprised look on his face.

John: Chloe? You made her in the image of Eve? As in the ORIGINAL Eve?

God: Yes, my son. She is perfect. Much better than the original. Much, much better than the original. It would do you in your best interests to keep her happy as you have John. A woman like that is priceless.

John smiles and gazes down onto his wife, who is standing out on a balcony. He peers a little too far and begins to fall. He falls back down to earth, and the scene fades to a fuzzy picture for a moment, before coming back in focus. John sits up in bed, sees his wife standing there smiling. For a moment, all John can do is admire her beauty. He loves the way she smiles, the way she crinkles her nose when she is being cute, and the way her breasts slowly heave up and down while she breathes.

Chloe: Have a good dream honey?

John: Yeah, you’ll never believe…..

John sees the dream vision device and grins.

John: I guess you will believe. So you and the whole world saw what happened huh?

Chloe: Yeah, babe. We saw, and we heard.

John smiles and reaches for her from the bed. He pulls her close and kisses her forehead as she giggles with ecstasy. All of a sudden there is a knock at the door. John frowns and kisses Chloe on the lips as he gets up, naked and walks to the door. He opens the door and there standing with a note in his hand is a doorman. He seems a bit shocked at the giant man, much less his large, hanging loose genitalia. The doorman hands him the note without saying a word and quickly runs down the hallway. John opens the note and it reads it aloud:

“John- Sorry about the landing, I told St. Peter to fix the holes in the clouds so no one would fall. Good luck in your match….champ.


as John finishes reading the note instantly catches fire, and turns to dust. John looks at Chloe, and Chloe looks back at John. Both seem to have a look of ‘can this be real’ on their faces. John Shrugs and walks back over to the bed.

John: So, I guess I have God on my side.

Chloe: It seems you do, John. Either way the match ends up, you are still proving your point. And that’s why I love you.

John: Really, well let’s see how well you love me, baby.

The scene fades to black as John and Chloe begin to have another round in missionary.

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