Lacey Speaks! And Ashe is calling me Stupid?

Match involving:

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Narrator: Saint Petersburg. The city with a rich history of war, death, sex, and the Baltic states. "The most artificial city in the world", as Dostoevsky put it was to be the Russian Capital. Now back to itís original name for a period of time this lively city was once called Leningrad, named after Vladimir Lenin a Russian revolutionary, a communist politician, the main leader of the October Revolution, the first head of the Soviet Union, and the primary theorist of Leninism, an extension of Marxist theory. During World War II, Hitler wanted to eradicate Saint Petersburg off the face of the earth. He almost succeeded. Now the city thrives on shipping and exporting supplies and goods throughout the world. After the collapse of the Soviet Union, on June 12, 1991, a bare majority of fifty four percent of the population decided to restore "the original name, Saint Petersburg," on September 6, 1991 As well as the city, 39 streets, six bridges, three Saint Petersburg Metro stations and six parks were renamed. Nevertheless, some, especially older people, still use the old names and, for example, use the old addresses on letters. The name releases positive associations particularly in connection with the siege - so that on holidays even authorities call places connected with World War II "Hero city Leningrad". Among young people the name Leningrad seems to be a vague protest against the new society. A rich history indeed, but what future does this city hold when the Global Wrestling Alliance comes rolling in? What perhaps about the damage and destruction that is sure to follow? And what of the factor of the various men and women involved in matches? Will they be booed? Or will fans even show? Who will be crowned champion? All of these answers and more live on Pay-Per-View Sunday June 24th.

Irons Thinking: Here it is just days away from the pay per view. Why canít I just accept the fact that sheís human? She has to be! No one has ever lived past one hundred and fifteen. UnlessÖ.


It canít beÖ.

What kind of sick twisted being would allow someone to live that long? The horrors of man and his errors. I pity her. She shows no remorse for her actions, yet doesnít seem intimidated by the fact that Iím in this match. Maybe I should educate her. Perhaps she as well as everyone else should take a journey with me where time and space collide. YesÖ..

It almost reminds me of the saying I had when I was in captivity. How did it go again?

ďThere is a depth of darkest places, ofÖ..Ē

Damn. WaitÖ was itÖ

ďThere is a depth of darkest places,

Of untold fears and nameless faces,

The whispered screams and dried up tears,

Of the silent cries that no one hears.

There is a land that is full of pain,

where the smallest learn to make hurt fade,

And in their state of almost dead,

They learn to hide inside their heads.

There is a land of living death,

Where you can't measure life by seeing breath,

Hearts may beat and blood may flow,

But all inside are empty souls.

There is a chamber of cold and dark,

Where evil leaves it's ugly mark,

Hearts are poisoned, until they die,

And children learn to never cry.

Souls cry out and seek release,

Letting go they beg for peace,

Death is mirrored in their faces,

These children of the darkest places.Ē

I remember it was February 1991. I was leading a group of coalition forces to take Saddamís Palace. Between the six of us, four were American, One was British, and the last was German. I had orders to hold and wait. Darkness was quickly approaching and the men were fatigued. We received the go ahead. As we approached the sleeping city, we were ambushed by the Republican guards. One of my men and the German were killed immediately. The rest of us were taken to a compound somewhere outside the city. I knew we were in an underground bunker, as we had black blankets wrapped around our faces and I could feel the change in temperature. For the next fourteen months I was beaten, shot, stabbed, and had electrical devices hooked up to my genitals. I had broken bones, and was fed rotten food and dirty water. One by one my men died until it was just me. Days and nights just seemed to pass, as I lost track of time. Part of me wanted to hang myself with my boot laces. The other wanted to escape and be free. I had began to feel as if the United States and the U.N. had abandoned me. All I could think about was death and dying. My body began to deteriorate as I dropped weight. I was just around two hundred pounds. At this point the BMI of a man like me was severely underweight. Then one day I got sick of it. I decided to end it, and try to take down as many of those bastards possible. I ended up escaping, knocking out only three guards in the way. It was night and for three days I walked the desert hoping to die in the hot sun. After fourteen months, fifteen days, twenty one hours and forty three minutes I finally found refuge. I accidentally wandered into an American encampment and passed out from major dehydration, among other things. They quickly assembled a team and via Huey transported me to the USS David R. Ray for medical support. After arrival I crossed over to the other side. I was pronounced dead for three minutes. But I wasnít finished. I remember seeing a white light and a womanís voice that could only been that of an angel. I couldnít understand what she was saying, but it sounded soothing, almost like being at peace. When I awoke I was in a serious amount of pain. There wasnít an inch of my body that didnít hurt like a son of a bitch. Since then Iíve had a liking for it. Thatís why Iím here. In Saint Petersburg training to be the next tag team champs with Fang. While Ashe has been making jokes about fang and I not much has been heard or seen from Lacey. She did have a good fifteen seconds of airtime earlier, but she makes me laugh. She wants Fang and I to taker her seriously? Please. This woman is riding the coattails of Ashe. She wants to play mind games? She has no idea who the hell sheís screwing with. No idea at allÖ.

The scene opens to a training facility in Saint Petersburg. John can be seen lifting weights and working out. He wears shorts and running shoes, but no shirt. His tattoos on his shoulders glisten with sweat as he turns around to lift more weights. His backside is covered in scars, electrical burns, and other scarred tissue. The camera pays close attention to this just before zooming out and coming around to see John face to face.

John: Saint Petersburg. The legendary city of days past. My opponents this week have been taking kind to at least pay attention. One of them I mean. Ashe. She better get on the bat phone or whatever it is that she uses to communicate with and tell her girl to step it up a notch. Because while Ashe has won a Psycho Circus, and is a former Global Champ, there is no way in hell that she can take on Fang and myself by herself. If Lacey wants to retain her title then she needs to prove it. She needs determination both in and out of the ring. I can tell you that no one is going to take you seriously unless you are serious and show it. Iíve been in this business for just almost four years now. Iíve seen many faces come and go because they couldnít hack it with the big dogs. Lacey, unless you get serious about keeping that title that is in your possession, itís going to be taken from you on Sunday. You wait till mid-week to grace us with a promo? Who you been screwing in the meantime, the Devil? So I guess that makes you the wife of Big Ugly, Jaymz. That makes Sin your bitch, and Staniak your son or step son, according to locker room talk. But thatís irrelevant. You can sit there on your pretty little high horse all you want, but this big man is going to knock you back down to reality. You wonít see me coming, because youíre off in your own little fairy tale world waiting for the perfect prince to rescue you. If you plan on making it anywhere in this business or this world you best listen up little lady. In case you forgot, I am seven and a half feet tall. I weigh three hundred and seventy five pounds. You are a twig compared to me, and I will break you in half. You want to know the reason why Fang and I donít consider you a threat? Because you are not threat to anyone. You and Ashe won last week on sheer luck. Well, I wouldnít say luck, I would say something more of Darcy Dynamite sucks moose BLEEP and couldnít win a match against a lethargic mental patient if he tried. I guess thatís why this week heís facing Big W00t Daddy. Donít be surprised if he loses to him. Either way both of you had it easy last week. This week is different. Youíre both playing with major leaguers now.

And now Ashe. Funny little comment you made about myself and a rock. I got the message loud and clear. But what you need to know is that I never went to High School. I dropped out of school in the sixth grade and worked for a living to support my ailing mother. At eighteen I earned my G.E.D. and enlisted in the Marines. This was twenty eight years ago. Since then Iíve been trained and have learned how to do various things. Like fix a satellite, repair a tank, drive a tank, learn battle tactics and strategy, fire clean and reload many weapons. But most of all the main weapon that I have and that Iíll be bringing to the ring is my brain. You see, Ashe. This sport is just as predictable like you. This is a chess game. You and Lacey think you have Fang and I cornered, but reality is, We have you in checkmate in four moves. Iím always ahead of the competition. You assume that because I am big, that I have no brains. Sorry to bust your bubble, but Iím not Jaymz. If I had no brains then how could I tell you the corpuscular theory of light, set forward by Sir Isaac Newton, light is made up of small discrete particles called "corpuscles" or little particles. In its contemporary incarnation, the theory of Photons, this idea explains many properties of light, in particular the photoelectric effect. However, it fails to explain other effects, such as interference and diffraction. It was therefore superseded by the wave theory of light, later understood as part of electromagnetism, and eventually supplanted by modern quantum mechanics and the waveĖparticle duality. How is this related to our match? Simple. Fang and I are in the light heading towards winning the titles, whilst the both of you are drowning in darkness. Iím not stupid. I know what Iím doing here. Oh, and the G.I. Joe comment? Please save me the bull. G.I. Joe was the name of a pigeon that saved over a thousand people in Italy in 1943 during World War II. Thatís where it started. A guy making cartoons during the war in a magazine called Yanks. That cartoon was nothing more than a spin off of a real combat unit in the European front. They were heroes. The story is based off of the 143rd Infantry Regiment, 36th Infantry Division of the Army when they fight up through North Africa and up the length of Italy during World War II, especially when they are bogged down at the Battle of Monte Cassino. Now you must be wondering how the hell I know so much for being a stupid man. The answer is Ashe that the Marines pride themselves in teaching history and relativity to battle. Without discovering the values of light and darkness and historical battles and people we would be lost. Here is where I gain an edge on you. I have proved that I am competent in the ring, Iíve beaten you before, or at least you were scheduled in the match then got Disqualified. I have dis-proven your comments on my intelligence. And lastly, I have baffled you with things that you wouldnít know the meaning of. I have proven my point, that I am better than you, and Fang and myself will win those titles this Sunday. But you can think all you want about a rock beating me in a High School event that I never attended. You can think that Iím a dumb as they come rent-a-cop that marks his head with an ĎXí rather than sign my name on a piece of paper, and you can think all you want but it wonít be worth a damn after this Sunday when Fang and I prove you and the little girl hiding behind you wrong. You canít compete with someone thatís already moving into checkmate Ashe. I am the best there is in this business. Believe it, or not. Until then, The both of you better be ready for Disasterpiece. Weíll be in the ring waiting for you.

John continues to work out as the scene fades to black.

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Match Stipulations

Two Men, Two Women
Standard Tag Rulesfor titles