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[ + ] This Is Thug-o-Nomics 101 [ + ]

' J O H N C E N A '


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The fans were pumped up as fireworks went off at the start of the show. The ECW video played on the titantron as the ECW theme played over the loud speakers. The music and fireworks stopped as the pumped up croud went crazy! Then John Cenas music blared over the loudspeakers as he started to walk down the ramp as he recieved a mixed reaction of boos and cheers from the fans as you here his music in the background..-[WORD LIFE!..This is basic thuganomics]-..
announcer-Ladies and gentle from West Newbury Mass. weighing in at 248 pounds..John Cena!
Cena strutted down the ramp as the fans reached out to grab him..One fan got a piece of his arm as Cena looked down and blew his arm then dusted it off with his hand. He soon got to the bottom of the ramp and rolled into the ring. He raised his fists with his pinkies out and walked around the ring in a circle. He then walked over and leaned out of the ring and took a microphone then started to talk.
-.{John Cena}.-
Yo Yo, what da hell is all this hype? Cena used to be called the prototype. Yo Chris Jericho met up with Slim Shady the other day...I knew Chris Jericho was...but I didnt know slim was gay..I mean Slim dog..you were the king of rap..Now your the king of Jerichos corn dog in your crack. I mean you thought Chris Jerichos clothes were outa wack? You should seen later in the hotel room..It involved his daddy..and a sack..Jericho takes more sacks than a NFL QB..The only persons sack he hasnt touched was me..Its gunna be freaky in the ring hes gunna be all over me til i break loose...then ill throw tazz infront of me so jericho gives him the goose. Look at this match man...its a midget and a gay guy who likes shady..so what should I do its a circus..I'll go as the bearded lady. Speaking of a lady a girl can kick your ass..I should hire a girl to do it so I can sit back and relax.
Cena walks around the ring and takes a breather then starts to talk again...

Well fighting you two fools..it will be a breeze..I will fight jericho standing up and fight tazz on my knees! Ha ha..that was good...fight tazz on my kne..well anyways dog your looking at the next World Champ..Its not gunna be Tazz or Jericho or good ol uncle sam. Not only the world title but the IC title too...Two titles three men..two losers like you.Im out all day kicking serious ass, Throwing opponnets in the garbage like little pieces of trash. Got mah crew of Thuganomics behind me rhyme after rhyme,Always pickin' up the victory time after time. Im never goin to lose Ill have a huge winning streak. Then Ill go back to the brooklyn sign and take anotha leak. Im not that bad im just a regular guy..Like you on thanksgiving after turkey I eat pie..But look at me and look at you dog theres no comparison...its like taken old guys like Arnold S. and puttin him next to Harrison. Whos bigger there and whos bigger here? You know Im bigger and I wont lose to any of you queers.I was born ready for this match and I came to win,im the true masta of wrestling, tazz and jericho are just a bunch of kids!.Im sick of playin your games, and no im gonna revolutionize.Im John C my style's smooth, never choppy.The number one announcer is ME not Funaki,but lets cut to the chase,when we get to the ring im gonna make you taste me, im a virus; I kill you, you dont stand a god damn chance.Everybody knows I'm the next big thing, you two puppies are all bark and no bite and im sick of you trying to steal my spotlight.Im gonna show the world that you to can't walk in my shoes, you think im scared of getting hit with a few finishers?, man FU.Think about it Jericho You're the poster child for the birth control pill You go down faster than a ho, for a five dollar bill I'm the real Superman, you ain't nothing by Clark Kent.I go for four quarters, you're halftime, like 50 Cent I'm gonna hang your ass, you're like a Christmas Tree ornament,I'll wack you more times than a masturbation tournament,You get my point now? Before I thought you missed it ,I'm a vigara triple shot, you just a limp bizkit.As far as you go tazz i aint worried, you should save us all some time..Go to a nursery school and learn how to rhyme. I mean tazz your from brooklyn man you talk like a fool..I dont know what your thinkin...but nobody thinks ure cool..Ive said it once and I will say it again..Your a joke Tazz..so go buy some new friends. I wont be your buddy Tazz and Jericho I wont be yours too..but what I promise I will do is give you both the F-U! I mean..your about as pathetic as our old president bill clinton..Now we got a real president whos isnt always drivin it in the kitchen..Bush is the king he aint afraid to go to war...We got alot in common cause we both gunna win the war. So Chris Jericho and Tazz im soon gunna end your life...I guess the last thing to say is..WORD LIFE!
John Cenas music hits as he dropped the microphone wear he stood..He walked over to the ring and dropped to his knees and rolled out of the ring. He walked up the ramp as he got a mixed reaction from the fans as the scene faded out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FADES TO A COMMERCIAL~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It comes back as John Cena is seen backstage with the interviewer talking.......

Interviewer-Hello everbody. I am here right now backstage with John Cen..

Cena-Yo Dog! They know who I am..Now if you gunna talk to me then talk..Im meetin a hotty at eight in her hotel room dog..Make it fast.

Interviewer-Ok John Cena..The first thing I want to say is you are really funny..

Cena-Yeah dog well i try.

Interviewer-And you are good at what you do..And I think im starting to become a John Cena fan my self..

Cena-Yo dog I dont you as my fan...You a little preppy boy..take that gel outa yo hair look like a thug..Lose da glasses..then you can be a fan of mine..

Interviewer-John you said you were a good teacher..so why dont you teach me in thuganomics....

Cena-Are you jokin dog..My lesson is beatin yo ass dog. I dont stand in front of a class room wid a pointer.

Interviewer-Oh...ok..then dont teach me in thuganomics..

Cena-I wasnt plannin on it dog..now hurry up i got to go soon.

Interviewer-Ok..well what do you think of Chris Jericho..

Cena-I think Ive made it clear..Jericho is a sick mofo and he's a wanna be of yours truly John C.

Interviewer-Well what about Tazz?

Cena-What about him? Hes half man and half...no wait..hes only a half person..The dog is three foot one..I saw him in the circus coming out of those little cars with the other clowns.

Interviewer-Who do you think the harder of the two apponents?

Cena-Neither of them dog..there both pathetic.

Interviewer-Ok..well my next question is...

Cena-No wait dog..ask that last question again..ill be serious...

Interviewer-Alright then John..who do you think is the harder of your two apponents..Chris Jericho or Tazz.

Cena-I honestly think that Tazz is harder dog..I mean hes hard to hit hes way down low..Chris Jerichos just gettin fat and slow. Tazz is a lil pitbull he will bite my knees then the lil guy will give rabies..

Interviewer-Ha ha..rabies John..thats good...

Cena-Yo dog I was serious..I dont know ware dat dudes been..I mean yo..he is from brooklyn.

Interviewer-Ha..from brooklyn..good one..anyways..do you think this match will be harder or easier then your match you had against Goldberg.

Cena-This will prob..actually dog..Goldberg was a fight..these to are clowns...Im not sure...two clowns or one hairy queer..dog..they both will be easy.

Interviewer-You sound very confident..

Cena-I am dog..look at me how can you doubt me..Im in the best shape of my life nobody can beat me..Im a rapper whos got ruthless aggression..Im gunna teach Tazz and Jericho a lesson.

Interviewer-John Cena can I try and do a freestyle rap?? you can tell me how I do...

Cena-ha ha dog..go ahead..but you best be dissin Tazz and Jericho..

Interviewer-Ok..here I go..Tazz and Jericho are really really dumb..Tazz looks like a baby who still sucks his thumb. Jericho is just really stupid and cant fight..You can probably beat him with out breaking a sweat because there really dumb and your really strong..In Jerichos top drawer you found a white thong..and some long jons..Word Life!

Cena-Yo dog..that was mad pathetic..you eva say Word Life again I will hurt you..I know dat Ive said that to you before but atleast this time you were tryin to rap..it was decent dog..it was decent.

Interviewer-Thanks uhh dog..maybe you can give me some private lessons..yo..

Cena-Yo dog..how bout..no..Just hang it up..

Interviewer-What do you mean hang it up?

Cena-Dont do it dog..Its to late for you, you a prep. You cant be a thug your in prep debt.

Interviewer-Im in prep debt? What does that mean..

Cena {sounding frusterated}-Ughh..dog its to late..youve been a prep for to long..why dont you meet Jericho later and share the same thong..

Interviewer-Thats disgusting John I dont appreciate that.

Cena-You think I care dog I have more important things to worry about..like the five girls waiting for me dog..im out.

Interviewer-No wait a minute John..Vince told me that you had to stay here as long as I want..

Cena-Fine dog whateva..talk..

Interviewer-Ok well uhh..

Cena-Im waiting...

Interviewer-Why are you...

Cena-Why am I what...

Interviewer-Why are you so in...

Cena-Yo dog hurry up talk faster I dont have all day.

Interviewer-Why is it that everytime I go to ask you somthing you interupt. Its just gunna keep you here longer..

Cena-Fine dog whateva..ask what you were gunna say.

Interviewer-Why are you so into being a thug..have you always been like this..

Cena-Yeah I have dog Ive been spittin since I was about as tall as tazz.

Interviewer-ha ha..as tall as Tazz.

Cena-Yo dog you about the same size so shut up..You cant even look me in the eyes.

Interviewer- Yes I can your eyes are blue.

Cena- Yo dog that wasnt a question so dont be a smart ass..

Interviewer- Anyways..Do you think the F-U is strong enough to put out both of your apponents..

Cena-No..

Interviewer-No!? Wow..

Cena-No I dont think it is strong enough..I KNOW that it is strong enough to put out my two..I mean...my apponent and a half.

Interviewer-Did you get tought my like..the king of thuganomics? Or learn it on ure own?

Cena-I am the king of thuganomics all my raps are my own..Ive been rappin forever..since I was half grown.

Interviewer- I see..but can you do anything besides rap?

Cena-What the hell do you mean? Ofcourse I can do other stuff besides rap.

Interviewer-Can you wresle?

Cena-What? Did I beat Goldberg?

Interviewer-Well..

Cena-I said did I beat Goldberg!?!??

Interviewer-yes you did.

Cena-So can I wrestle?

Interviewer-Obviously you can.

Cena-Yo dog I dont appreciate insults like dat..I should smack you around right now. {sounding cocky}

Interviewer-No you shouldnt.

Cena-Yo dog now what are you doin? You tellin me what to do? I will beat up you or anyone else when I went..How I want..or ware I want..I dont care if its you. Tazz..Goldberg..Jericho...

Interviewer-What about...

Cena-I can beat anybody!

Interviewer-Even Vince McMahon..

Cena-Yo..did you hear what I said..Ill take on anyone..even big bad Vince McMahon

Interviewer-So I can tell him that you said that?

Cena-Yeah dog whateva.

Interviewer- Ok well..

Cena {looks at his watch}-Shit! Damn you..you can do what you want but Im late and I got women waitin..im out!
A huge burnout is heard in the parking lot from Cena taking off as the scene fades out...
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