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ONE LAST PUSH

(Part 3)

Starring: Kev Mania, Jon Kellar, Sean O'Gara

~We cut to the inside of a limosine, where Sean O'Gara is looking over some notes, Jon Kellar is sipping some coffee, and Kev is... well just being Kev~

Kellar: So?

Sean: What?

Kellar: The interview, any effect?

Sean: To be frank... no...

Kellar: What?

Sean: Look Jon, it's not just you ok. GZW has a limited media base... wrestling fans.

Kellar: Well... last time I checked, I was a wrestler.

Sean: Yes... and wrestlers don't count for squat, until they break the mould and go beyond that. QVC have been trying to do it, but let's face it, any group that consists of an overblown bald guy with a crap goatee, an all American twat and a title belt that's about as meaningful as a Japanese instruction manual isn't going to break into any other circles. You... however... have charisma, looks, talent and the ability to go beyond that. Which is why we're talking Jon Kellar out of the wrestling ring, and letting the world know just who you are.

Kellar: So basically... go from being a wrestler... to being a....

Sean: Superstar. It's a proven fact that superstars are the ones who win the big matches, win the big belts, and make the big impacts that everyone remembers. Get the charisma out there, and show the world just what they're missing...

Kellar: Will this involve crappy slogans?

Sean: ....

Kellar: Sean?

Sean:....

Kellar: SEAN????

~And so off they go. First, advertising~



~Back in the Limo~

Kellar: I can hear the "You sold out" chants from here Sean...

Sean: What do you care? People have been calling you a sell-out since you sided with Monarch after winning the Extreme Title... so why not make some money out of it, and get the message out?

Kellar: I guess that's true...

Sean: Next Stop...

~Photoshoot~



~Jon Kellar fights his way through the crowds of people desperately seeking autographs and gets to the limosine, at which point Sean slaps him round the face... again, and Jon goes back into the crowd to sign autographs~

Kev: If I didn't know better I'd swear you were trying to turn him into a good guy....

Sean: Don't be daft, there's not a good bone in that guy's body... but with Dyna gone he needs another reason to win... and if we can get ordinary every day people believing in him, then it'll have a knock on effect. It'll give him a boost... and how do you think his opponents are going to feel when they see him living the highlife? By the time LOTC comes around, every single man, women and child within earshot of the message will have accepted Jon Kellar as the next big thing to hit celebrityville...

Kev: I doubt they'll care... knowing the GZW superstars....

Sean: They will when Kellar leaves them lying in a pool of their own blood...

Kev: Graphic... but effective...

~Kellar taps on the window~

Kellar: Can we go now?

Sean: Yep... one more stop to make before we head to GZW HQ....

Kellar: What?

Sean: A wrestling convention... all the fans from all the major brands will be there... and guess who GZW's special guest is...

Kellar: You have got to be joking....


WRESTLEZANIACS ANONYMOUS 2005

WITH SPECIAL GUEST STAR: "HUMAN DYNAMITE" JON KELLAR


~Kellar steps up onto the stage at the convention to a pretty quiet ovation~

Kellar: What's the matter? Expecting someone else?

Fan: We wanted Vyle!!!!

Other Fan: MONARCH!!! MONARCH!!!

Kellar: Now now children... surely it makes more sense to back the winner of the upcoming LOTC? To stand behind the future? I mean where will Vyle and the like be in a few years time? Still preaching about America's greatness from the relatively low-risk environment of the midcard rankings... perhaps he'll have decided he's actually Canadian by then?

Fan: NWF! NWF!

Kellar: NWF? The home of the development fodder desperately seeking our approval? The chance to play in the big leagues? To be the new man in the limelight? A message to them... forget about it! There's only room for one superstar at the top of this tree, and his name is Eddie Fever...

~The crowd is hushed~

Kellar: What? That's what we've been hearing right... it's Eddie Fever's time to shine. Yep... well we've heard it so many times that it must be true. I mean he is the "the younger, better talent" that scares the veterans... I mean, he said it himself "Here I am … third match, part of the final eight of a history making event. Why? Because I am gifted. I know I say this in every promo, but I know how much the crusty veterans can’t stand that fact."... say it another dozen times Eddie, I don't think everyone's got the message yet. You are special, you are great, you are young, you are the new era, you are the young superstar, you are an arrogant little ess ache one tee... that's what you are. Any Eddie Fever fans here?

~One guy raises his hand~

Kellar: Relation?

Fan: No...

Kellar: Then meet me after the show, I'll drive you to the asylum on my way home. Anyone daft enough to back Eddie Fever over let's say... John Taylor... deserves to spend some time in there. I mean who thinks Taylor will be too much for Fever?

~Everyone (bar that guy) raises their hands~

Kellar: Well at least some of us have some sense... but hey, upsets do happen. John Taylor is living evidence of that after all... I remember it all like it was yesterday, watching it from my armchair... "Tonight, perhaps the single most successful night for any one competitor in GZW HISTORY, I took your records and I BROKE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM!!!  BOW BEFORE YOUR LORD, MASSES!!!” Heh Heh... not one for subtlety or indeed modesty is John Taylor, and why should he be? His record speaks for itself, Championships galore, Lordship of the Coliseum, and now, of course, he's reached the 1/4 finals of the tournament for the second time, and no doubt with his eye on another record... a successful defence of his lordship. But you know what's really upsetting Taylor don't you?

~Silence~

Kellar: No? Well let me enlighten you. When Taylor went into the Lord of the Coliseum last year he held both the HKWF and GZW World Titles, defeated three former champions and became the first champion to win the tournament... now he considers those achievements to be iconic, and considers a certain individual known as Seth Raide to be a second class citizen in his wrestling world. However, look at the Lord of the Coliseum brackets now and you will see that yet again the unified heavyweight champion is entering, but it's not John Taylor... it's the man who took his title with underhanded means. So what does that mean? Simple... it means that if Raide wins the Lord of the Coliseum tournament, then a man who cheats his way to victory is as good as John Taylor's "fairly" won achievement. Two of Taylor's three achievements could be repeated... and that just cracks Taylor up inside. He knows that if Seth Raide wins it'll be another slip down the ladder for him....

~Kellar takes a sip of coffe~

Kellar: So that's Seth Raide for ya... looking to take John Taylor's place at the top of the pile, become only the second champion to successfully defend his title three times, and of course, put this little mini-feud with Monarch to rest... he's champion for a reason... because there are no limits on how low he will sink in order to win a match. I know that first hand.... after he tried to derail my Contest of Champions campaign with his sledgehammer, and then enlisted the help of my psychopathic acquaintance Zander Frost to prevent me taking the GZW World title from around his waist. Even then he struggled... but now comes his chance to step out of Taylor's shadow, banish the gouls of desperation that always seem to haunt him on the big occasions. Does he have the balls to do it without sinking to the level of a common street thug with a crowbar? I doubt it... but hey, what do I know? Maybe he'll fight clean this time...

~Kellar takes another sip~

Kellar: ...and maybe I'll start shitting porcupines.... So, any questions? Yeah... redcap...

Redcapped Fan: What about the others?

Kellar: Ah yes.. the others... now that's an interesting point too. Like I said, John Taylor and Seth Raide echo eachother in terms of Lord of the Coliseum years, with one trying to replicate the achievements of the other, and the other one determined to stop him, but what many people may not recognise is the second level of the echo. When John Taylor crushed Sean Fiery in the final, he raised the bar for the new generation of competitors, and went from being a strong competitor to being a GZW icon, and then he retired the poor guy. Now everyone's looking to have that opportunity, to "be the moment" which signifies the passing of the torch to the new generation of superstars. The echo stretches further though... because you may remember that well before Taylor was killing the magic... a young man named Deacon Kane was taking opponents apart. Now what did he call himself when that was over? He said, in these exact words, "EVERYONE OUT THERE! I AM THE DESERVING CHAMPION OF THIS TITLE! THE ONLY FUTURE OF GZW IS THE LORD OF THE COLISEUM AND NOW I AM THE TRUE LORD OF THE COLISEUM!" The only future of GZW eh? Well, there are many men in many circles granting me that prestigious title, expescially following the fall of Vernon Vanderbilt in the first round of the tournament... but while this seems to be a good omen it does highlight another point.

~Kellar puts his feet up on the table~

Kellar: If Seth Raide and John Taylor are attempting to be John Taylor... then surely the others are looking to be Deacon Kane. The man who would be the future of the company... everyone's been talking about it. Quake, with his "unbeaten" streak, believes he's the new kid on the block who's going to come good, and one cannot ignore the fact that he does have an impressive little record to his name. Vyle, well he's convinced he's the dog's bollocks whether he's Captain Planet with his "I'm gonna make you feel better" or Captain America with his "America is gonna beat you up." Eddie Fever? Well I've already talked about him, fresh out of the development territories and the independent circuits, the world at his feet and a head so large it's a wonder he can fit under the titantron... all of them claiming to be the next big thing, the next "Deacon Kane" style winner of the Lord of the Coliseum. The next young sensation to hit the company square in the face and say "Hey! Look at me, I'm the best." Do any of them have what it takes? Well, Quake's a successful businessman and is clearly no fool, Vyle has the power of patriotism behind him, and Eddie Fever has the "I've only been here 2 minutes and I'm a star" confidence that I remember all too well.

~Kellar shifts around a bit, then stands up, and bangs his fist on the table~

Kellar: But let's face it... all of those guys are too busy trying to repeat history... either to match the achievement of a great champion, live up to the promise of yesterday's matches, or become the next youth sensation. Me? Monarch? Cairns? We're interested in being our own people. I mean yes you could argue that I fit into the "young sensation" category, but I don't see that as a goal, I see that as a bonus point of acheiving the much bigger goal of defeating opponents like those I could end up facing. Lets face it, nobody knows for sure who I'll be stepping into that ring with when the time comes, so I can't aim to upset a legend, nor can I aim to end a young guys career, all I can do is aim to prove myself to all those who doubted me... and become The Lord of the Coliseum that I want to be, not the Lord of the Coliseum people like Cairns and his infinite supply of pundits expect me to be... the new Union Jack? The next big thing? No no no ladies and gentlemen... Jon Kellar will be incomperable to anything this company has seen before, indescribable, a new language will have to be written to encapsulate just what I will bring to that ring when I win the Lord of the Coliseum.

~Kellar pauses~

Kellar: Although myself and Deacon Kane do share one thing... the fact that JMC... the Wrestling Fanchise... the "old man" of GZW... seems determined to derail our careers. To that, I can only say this.

~Kellar stares straight at the camera~

Kellar: Monarch, in my career as a wrestler, I have been arrested 23 times, jumped off the Tronscreen twice, been in more hardcore matches than I can count, signed a contract for no less than 3 now-dead organisations, slept with 3 prostitutes... and one male one by accident, appointed Kev as my manager, agreed to let Kev borrow the car... and crash it 15 times... but I can honestly say that the biggest mistake I have ever made was to side with you all those months ago just to get my hands on the Extreme Heavyweight title. The fact of the matter is that I could've taken that title off your buddy Electric Sharpe any time I fancied... but no... my greed got the better of my senses and I threw myself at your mercy so that I could get my title back... the easy way. But I've moved on Monarch, I've got my own stable now, a stable which shows the Heretics up for what they truly are... yesterday's news. If you couldn't keep a musclebrained fool like Phil Tytan under control, how long did you think you could keep me on a leash?

~Kellar sneers, clearly boiling over with rage~

Kellar: And now that I've got rid of the aura that you left around me... you want to force your way into the tournament? MY tournament? You say you want to punish Seth Raide... well newsflash old man, you had your chance to take out Seth Raide... twice! Everyone knows that you had your chance at Glory Through Honour, but I remember all too well the Clash of the Champions match where you stood by and let Seth Raide blindside me and cost me the match, and then had the audacity to smile at the situation as I lay in a pool of blood outside the ring. Where was your hatred of Raide then? Huh? I'll tell you where it was... it was taking second chair to your desire to see the young buck in your group kept at bay so that you could preserve your legacy just one second longer. You know what MJC? Fuck your legacy, and fuck you. You want to force your way into this tournament? The bay's wide open for you... so push all you want to get in. If you're succesful, and a big part of me hopes you are, then I'll see you on Sunday. No more mindgames, no more "little boy" jokes, just you and me in the ring, and the opportunity to become the second icon whose LOTC dream I shatter. So come on Monarch... you know where to find me...

~Kellar leaves the stage, and bumps straight into Sean on the way out~

Sean: You can't change the past Jon, whatever happens you'll still have joined the Heretics...

Kellar: I know that Mickey... but somehow, if he is the man, the thought of showing Monarch just what a mistake he made when he chose to look down on me rather than stand by me as I rose through the ranks is something of a retribution, especially if it comes in the form of seeing his skull shatter against the ringpost....

TO BE CONTINUED