(Part 4)

Starring: Jon Kellar, Sean O'Gara, Dyna Might
Co. Starring: James Fairbanks

~Our scene opens with a late-night chat show setup, where GZW pundit James Fairbanks (known best for his role on Byte Me!) is sitting~

Fairbanks: Thank you ladies and gentlemen and a very warm welcome to you. Tonight on GZW Late Night, we have a man whose popularity in GZW has soared since he arrived here back in February. Having taken the GZW Extreme Heavyweight title 3 times, and wont the seventh contest of champions, he has been earmarked as a man to keep your eye on for the future. In the short term, however, he's looking to prove himself in the Lord of the Coliseum tournament this weekend, and take the chance to become the World Heavyweight champion. Here to talk about the tournament, life in GZW, and his upcoming biography, ladies and gentlemen, the Human Dynamite... Jon Kellar.

~Kellar enters to an enthusiastic round of applause from the studio audience, wearing a sharp and expensive new suit. He shakes Fairbank's hand warmly and makes himself comfortable~

Fairbanks: Jon Kellar, welcome to the show.

Kellar: Thanks James, glad to see you've landed on your feet since UCW went belly up.

Fairbanks: Well that's kind of you to say so...


~Sean is backstage~

Sean: That's in Jon... kill 'em with kindness...

???: Hello Sean...

~Sean turns, and is granted by a sight that drains the colour completely from his face~

Sean: No way... what are you doing here?


~We return to the show~

Fairbanks: So Jon, you arrived here a complete unknown, so much so that the commentators on the show where you debuted announced you as being an independent competitor, despite the fact that you hadn't wrestled for over a year before that. Since then you've achieved so much, and considering that you've already "retired" from wrestling... what made you come back, and what made you stay?

Kellar: Well, as I've said before, wrestling's a hard habit to break. It's amazing, but when you're on the road, as we were in UCW, you can't wait to get off it, but once you're sitting around watching the other guys going out and pulling their weight you can't think of anything but finding a way to get back on the road and getting out there.

Fairbanks: And staying back?

Kellar: I stayed back for one very simple reason... I haven't finished what I came to do. When I arrived, I told everyone I had come to get rid of this "sports entertainment" plague which seems to have taken over the profession, and get back to what really mattered... wrestling. I don't need some patriotic all-American't gimmick, or the illusion of being a successful businessman to prove what I can do... I'm a wrestler.

~Kellar leans back~

Kellar: The place for sports entertainment is outside the ring, like I am now, conversing with gentlemen such as yourself, mingling among the fans and the freaks, and having a good time, but in that ring... I will always be a wrestler. Now over the past week or so I've proved that I can get it done outside the ring, and I've proved that I can be the true epitome of a superstar... but the Lord of the Coliseum will provide a unique opportunity for me to remind everyone just what Jon Kellar can do inside the ring, and remind them I will.

Fairbanks: Let's talk about the tournament for a moment...


~Sean is still fearful~

Sean: I told you not to come near me again or there would be consequences...

Dyna: Correction, you told me not to come near Jon... but he doesn't know I'm here does he? He never knows where I am now... does he Sean? You've kept us apart....

Sean: I had to Dyna, you were a distraction...

Dyna: You got us back together Sean, what's the matter? Your little wall chart not predict what would happen if we were a success?

~Sean dips his head~

Dyna: We weren't meant to be a success were we Sean?


Fairbanks: Seeing as your opponent is an unknown... let's have a look at the others in the bracket... Vyle.... now you and he have a history?

Kellar: You mean that mock boat race that we had around the CoC time? Heh, the memories... you know we had to re-shoot that scene 3 times because Francis kept riding into the river.... let me tell you, that was a fun day out in Oxford. In any case, that Vyle seems to be long dead and buried. It's no longer a matter of "I'll make you a better man" it's "I'll make you a better American man." Only one word, but a world of difference...

Fairbanks: What do you make of him going into this contest?

Kellar: Well to be frank, I've learnt never to underestimate a competitor like Vyle. I mean he may dress like a diseased birthday cake and prance around spurting out cliches, but you'd be a fool not to recognise his performance in the Contest of Champions. I mean the desire... the passion... the technique... the grace... the poise... the timing...

~Kellar leans back~

Kellar: H-yep... nobody can fall off a ladder quite like that man can...

~The audience titters~

Kellar: I'm here all night ladies and gentlemen...

Fairbanks: So you don't buy Vyle as a threat?

Kellar: Fairbanks... everyone in this tournament represents their own type of threat, and everyone is in the final eight for a very good reason... except Seth Raide who got an automatic bye but what the hell ever on that score...

~Kellar leans forward, and changes his voice to a squeaky pitch~

Kellar (Vyle): "But whatever the case, John Kellar doesn't worry me, the all-American tart. If he beats the mystery, he's not going to have the stamina to beat me. I don't even think his machine and calculations will be able to handle so many different possibilities. JK is doomed. I don't even need to think about him. You may view me as a sheep, and you're not the only ones. Why do you think Jay Jameson hung around me so often? The spirit of America will triumph! In crappy looking plastic crowns we trust. Wooo!”

~Kellar chuckles along with the audience~

Kellar: If he's not going to take this seriously or buy me as a threat then he has no chance going into this match... but hey, flukes happen! I'll be on my guard if Vyle gets past...

~Again, a change of voice~

Kellar (Cairns): "The teeny tiny touchy typey column writing mic biting interview and magazine machine that is me, Chris Cairns... back in the ring after a long break and looking to show the world once again that my grappling ability extends beyond smashing my typewriter when I miss out the "e" in the final word on the page, or throwing my laptop out the window when Windows erases my meticulously prepared Hotwire page.... in a contest that's hotter than the press." (nomal voice) Vyle vs Chris Cairns... it's like George Bush vs Michael Moore... the patriotic idiot verses the ill informed pillock in a fight to the bitter end in the hope of achieving domination of the World... of wrestling that is. Imagine Vyle or Cairns in charge of the world...

~Fairbanks and Kellar look at each other for a minute... pause... then shudder simultaneously~


Dyna: That's why you don't want me around isn't it Sean... because I'm a mistake...

Sean: You were supposed to sleep with Jon, then break up for good out of regret... making it easy for me to become Jon's manager and take him to the top.

Dyna: You mean ride him to the top, but you underestimated the bond that was still there Sean... and that kills you. The man who wanted to beat every probability just made the mistake which could have cost him the chance to get back to the top.

Sean: There's more to it than that...

Dyna: So tell me... I'm going nowhere...


Fairbanks: Right... so... you're beyond the first bracket, all's looking good and the final competitor comes up... who do you want... or more correctly, who do you expect it to be.

Kellar: Well maybe it'll be... Eddie Fever (voice) "Because I am GZW's personal hero. I know I haven’t accomplished much... well... anything.... in GZW, except for being one of the eight of the Lord of the Coliseum 2005 tournament... catching the eye of wrestler and wrestling fan out there; being the next legend and the walking Ring of Honor Icon. But how can you say that I don’t know what it takes? I know that it takes heart, soul, and quick mind. It takes talent, charisma, and above all else devotion. I have all those assets, I know what it takes. I have always known what it takes to be great, because all my life, Eddie Fever has been great. That's why all the boys love me and send me love letters. They're so lovely" Makes you sick doesn't it? In walks this guy, flukes his way to the second round through luck of the drawer and now thinks he's top of the world... hopefully Taylor will stretch some sense into him in the 1/4 finals... but assuming he makes it to the point where he can go one on one with the Human Dynamite, fair play to him. I'll accept that he's got the tools to become a great competitor... but if he thinks that the Human Dynamite is going to drop the ball again when the biggest prize of them all is on the horizon then he's got another thought coming!

Fairbanks: So you think this is it? The glass ceiling?

Kellar: It had better be. Listen James, I have not trained as hard as I have these past few weeks during any other period of my career, and I did not go through all that pain, misery and Irish gibberish to bounce off the ceiling now...


Sean: Jon's got the world at his feet, the potential to be the best, but he doesn't have what it takes to realise it. I'm making sure that...

Dyna: Sean, give me a break, the Sean Michael O'Gara I know would never put himself out as much as you have these past few weeks if he didn't think there was something in it for him. Just why are you so interested in helping Jon with his career?

Sean: That's none of your business?

Dyna: You stole my mansion, ended my relationship, kicked me out of my home, blackmailed my father and now you're manipulating my ex-boyfriend... you're damn right this is my business.

Sean: Get out of here Dyna.

Dyna: Not till I get some answers...


Kellar: But you know which competitors make up that glass ceiling? Seth Raide, the champion... and John Taylor... the ruling lord. Defeat them and the world's my oyster... but it would take a blind fool to realise that such things are easier said than done. John Taylor's built up this air of mystique around him, and he delights in reminding anyone who will listen that (voice) "I'm the current Lord of the Coliseum, I broke all the records laid before me that night, I am going to murder Seth Raide for what he did to me... the way he screwed me over etc etc etc..." you know, in a way it's a crying shame that I wont have the chance to take the title until the final because of the bracket system, because I would have loved to have taken Taylor on before he takes it off Raide. As is, I'll have to take the title off of him after the shortest reign in GZW history, which is a shame, because after wrestling the guy all those months ago I've got nothing but respect for him...

~Kellar leans back in thought~

Kellar: That is... of course... assuming he gets past Seth Raide... a man I have precious little respect for. First he costs me the match against Taylor by framing me and setting me up while I was injured, then he tries to rearrange my ribcage with his sledgehammer during the Contest of Champions, defeats Taylor by employing half of HKWF to fight alongside him, knowing the he can't get the better of the superior man on his own, then he does the same against me and enlists Zander Frost, before smashing me with weapons, choking me out, and doing anything he could do to get the better of me... even then it took more than he expected. You heard it here first ladies and gentlemen, the GZW World Heavyweight Title is in the hands of an undeserving, underhanded, psychopathic fraud... and I don't blame Taylor one bit for wanting to get his hands on you for what you did... and make no mistake about it Seth... he's not the only one.

~Kellar reaches into his pocket, and pulls out the letter Seth sent him~

Kellar: If I had to choose between the desire to face Taylor out of mutual respect and the desire to prove I could beat him in a pure wrestling contest... and the desire to face you so I could make you pay for what you have done to me... that title... and the company as a whole... I'm not sure I could Seth. (voice) "I'm going to prove everyone wrong.  Shove everything that anyone’s ever doubted about me down their fucking throats.  I’ve been given the opportunity to rise to a new level.  It’s time that I start taking advantage of it.” Too late Seth... because no nobody buys you as credible... and sees you only for what you have condemned yourself to be... a man who cannot win without a sledgehammer and a dirty backup plan. You're no champion, you're no superstar, and frankly in terms of technical mastery you're barely a wrestler. If you come up against me Seth, you will be found wanting when it matters... and the human dynamite will explode and take you with it. As for shoving words down people's throats... why do you think I've kept this letter that you sent me and all the other competitors? I'll tell you Seth... because if I am granted the opportunity to square off against you, when that final bell rings and you are lying on the floor after I toXicut you down to size... I will take great pleasure in carrying out that very action physically, and I will invite every single man, woman and child in that arena, whether they be in the stands or in the locker rooms...

~Kellar waves the letter at the screen~

Kellar: watch as I shove this insanity of a letter down your trap and give new meaning to "eating your words."


Sean: I have nothing more to say to you Dyna... I suggest you leave...

Dyna: Fine... I'll go... but remember Sean, wherever you go, I'll be one step behind you. You can't blackmail me forever... and I'll take great pleasure in being around when you fall...

~Dyna leaves the scene, and two burly men appear on either side of Sean, both wearing toXin t-shirts~

Sean: Gentlemen, acolyte Dyna has betrayed the cause... arrange a little "accident"....


Fairbanks: And what of Quake?

Kellar: (voice): "I will be the champion. I am undefeated. I am the Television champion. I am a success. Nobody else is as good as me" record that, shove it on repeat, stick in a sack of crap and nobody could tell the difference in my honest opinion. I know that Quake is itching to get at Taylor after the result of the Clash of the Champions match, and I also know that he's got the belief and determination to go the distance should the night run in his favour. If, by some miracle, it is Quake vs Kellar in the final, then it will truly be a showcase for the new generation... but let's face it, when it comes down to the big occasions, neither of us are experts at keeping the ball in hand when it counts. In that event... it will truly go down to who can keep their cool, maintain their focus, and come out on top when it matters. In that case, it's the undefeated streak Vs the master of stealing the show... and to use a cliche "all hell could break loose." I wish Quake nothing but the best, for it would truly be a testament to the new talent if he and I were the last two standing, but if that does happen, he should know that I will not stop fighting until my heart stops beating... and I will bring him down to the level he is worthy of... teledivision wrestling.

Fairbanks: But Jon... if this does come about... you will have beaten a man you currently can't even be sure exists... so who will it be.

Kellar: Well, the obvious choice is Monarch. Two years ago he tried to derail the dreams of another young man known as Deacon Kane, and only a few months back the young Phil Tytan grew tired of Monarch holding him back, and even closer than that we had Monarch desperately trying to kill Vernon Vanderbilt's career before it had even taken off. Monarch resents people like me, people who have a chance of challenging his legacy, and just like Kane all those years ago he's looking to force his way in to cripple my chances of smashing through his beloved "glass ceiling" and winning the title that so many people say is beyond my grasp... but is it Monarch? Maybe it's his manager... I mean he seemed all too keen to get involved in the contest himself, and what better way to signify his return to GZW than to enter this contest himself and pull this off?

~Kellar leans back thinking~

Kellar: But then... maybe I'm barking up the wrong tree completely... maybe it's El Gambito or whatever the hell his name is... looking to make a name for himself straight away by jumping into the Lord of the Coliseum tournament, it'd be a killer way to establish himself. Or perhaps Jimmy Williams has finally decided to sprout some testicles and do what his brother couldn't do... end Jon Kellar's Lord of the Coliseum dream. Perhaps it's Zander Frost? I mean we never did have our little get together following his win over Reject, and my Extreme Heavyweight Title is still sitting at home waiting for him to come and fight me for it... perhaps his entry would be a good way to attract my attention. I mean it's a lot more effective than doing this...

~Kellar bangs his head on the desk, hard, leaving a cut just above his right eye~

Kellar: (voice) "Look at me, I'm tough."

~Kellar takes out a handkerchief and wipes away the blood~

Kellar: To tell you the truth James, I don't much care who I end up facing. If it does turn out to be MJC, then I will take great pleasure in beating the living hell out of his geriatric corpse, and gaining some retribution for the mistake which I made when I agreed to join him all those months ago. Perhaps I can put an end to this (voice) "I hate young people" drive that he's got going on, or maybe be the one who finally makes him realise that nobody is buying stock in the so-called "wrestling franchise" any longer. If it's his bitch of a manager... all the better, Monarch can watch his friend and mentor suffer the fate I just promised to him. Gambito? Nice knowing you amigo, cos you aint going nowhere ese! Jimmy Williams... wear a helmet and elbow pads... you'll get less hurt that way... and Zander, if it is you I end up facing, remember just how badly I beat you at Heatwave II, then add in the fact that this time I've got more to lose than I ever had back then, and you'll realise that Jon Kellar is not a nut you can crack. If my "mystery opponent" is watching this broadcast tonight, and I haven't already mentioned you, then congratulations, you've preserved your identity very well, very good of you. Lets hope that ability extends to you preserving all of your teeth, because I promise you... I may not be much for guessing games or getting names... but I'm a pretty damn good wrestler, and I intend to make that task extremely difficult for you come this Sunday.

Fairbanks: Just a few minutes left Jon, so tell us about your book...

Kellar: Ah yes... well you didn't think I spent my "retirement" twiddling my thumbs, eating crisps and reminising about the good old days did you? Oh no... I started work on my biography, and here it is... the almost finished article.

Kellar: A rollercoaster of a book from my early days in the development territories all the way up to GZW and everything in between... it'll be out in shops soon, but I haven't quite finished it yet.

Fairbanks: Why not?

Kellar: Well let me put it this way... two years ago nobody bet on the young outsider Deacon Kane breaking through all those challenges and winning the Lord of the Coliseum, and last year nobody bar Nostradamus could've predicted what John Taylor would go on to accomplish. Three former champions, three successful title defences, one Lord of the Coliseum title... all in one night? Nowadays, people are saying "that Jon Kellar can't possibly do it... he's not ready for the big time... he keeps dropping the ball."

~Jon looks lovingly at the book~

Kellar: Well let's just say that the world would be a better place if they followed my example and waited before they write that chapter...

Fairbanks: Well, that's all we have time for, thanks for being with us Jon, and best of luck for Sunday


~Sean is on his mobile~

Sean: Is it taken care of.... good... that should be the last I hear of...

Kellar: Hey Sean...

~Sean quickly turns off his mobile~

Sean: Errr hey... how'd it go out there?

Kellar: Great... absolutely great... I've never felt more fired up than I do right now...

Sean: Glad to hear it...

Kellar: Who was that on the phone?

Sean: Hmmm? Oh never you mind about that champ... I just had to tie up some loose ends...