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ONE LAST PUSH

(Part 1)

Starring: Kev Mania, Jon Kellar, Sean O'Gara
Co. Starring: Randy Anderson

~Kellar is sitting at the table reading a letter, Sean is sitting opposite~

Kellar: Why? Why would she do this now?

Sean: Because she wanted what was best for you, she felt that if she were here she would be a distraction, so she's just gone away for a while.

Kellar: She just took off and then sent me a letter? Didn't she say anything else?

Sean: Not to me...

Kellar: Kev?

~Kev, who is standing nearby, opens his mouth to say something, but then sees the look in Sean's eyes and closes his mouth. He shakes his head~

Kellar: This doesn't seem like her at all...

Sean: Jon... that is her handwriting...

Kellar: But..

Sean: But nothing... you've been neglecting your training quite enough these last couple of weeks. I mean does the Lord of the Coliseum mean nothing to you anymore?

Kellar: Don't be ridiculous...

Sean: Well you don't exactly seem to be going out of your way to prove me wrong on that front... most of the other competitors seem to have forgotten you exist... and those opponents who do mention you are laughing. Knocking out the ROH Icon just wasn't enough... and you're only as good as your last achievement. Win the LOTC and not a single one of them will be able to ignore that. In the meantime, we need to send a little reminder to the world that you're still around...

Kellar: Sounds good to me... and how do you propose we begin?

Sean: Well... I took the liberty of...

~He hands Kellar the newspaper~

~Kellar looks up at Sean~

Kellar: I don't remember saying any of that...

Sean: You didn't... but they don't need to know that... and this just the beginning. By the end of tonight, there won't be a single media outlet that isn't singing your praises and crowning you as champion.

Kellar: And this is supposed to achieve what?

Sean: Jon, 2 years ago the world was your oyster, your roster profile even says so, now you stand on the brink of having it all again. We need to let everyone in earshot know that you are not going to let this chance slip away without a fight.

Kellar: I think people know that sort of thing already without me having to remind me again.

~Sean slaps Kellar~

Sean: Don't even think that. If there's one thing I've learnt about the puss filled sacks of skin that we call wrestling fans it's that they're as fickle as anything can possibly be. One minute you're the next big thing, the next you're development material that originally showed promise. Before you know it you're back in the indies and nobody could give two hoots about you. The only way to prevent that from happening is to make it clear that you are too good for the company to lose, and the way to do that is with the PR campaign to end them all.

Kellar: And that'll help me win?

Sean: Well put it this way, how do you think Vyle will feel when it's your face and not his that people are seeing every day, or how Quake will feel when his "undefeated" streak drops another place in the importance charts. Eddie Fever will need to be his own hero to save himself from the all swallowing pit of "yesterday's news", John Taylor will see that he's the only one still talking himself up, Chris Cairns will see the great media engine turned against him in terrifically poetic style, and Seth Raide's blunt and ineffective attempts to spook you will be crushed beneath the wave of the Kellar-effect...

Kellar: Kellar-effect?

Sean: We can work on the name later. The point is that you rekindled that lost fire at Glory Through Honour, and now it's time to let your opponents perish in the flames of anger. Time to make them pay for treating you like the new kid on the block, like the one who's had too much too soon. So what if you have? The fact is that when it came down to it you made it count when they couldn't, and at LOTC I know that the Human Dynamite is going to do it all over again! But first... we have to light the fuse, get people behind you, so that when you explode onto their screens they'll know that you've got it all. So here's the schedule...

Kellar: Schedule?

Sean: It's time you stopped sitting on your ass in complete silence and took your message to the world. Remind them that all our preparation for the Qualifying rounds was just the tip of one of the largest icebergs to ever hit the Titanic stage of professional wrestling... this is Kellar's time...

Kellar: And you want me to meet Randy Anderson... now?

Sean: Yep... and then we're going out there, recruiting the masses, spreading the word, turning our enemies into putty in our hands and feeding it to the overzealous infants that are the critics. It's time for the toXin to spread!!!!

Kellar: Why Randy Anderson?

Sean: Because he's the only one we could get on short notice... don't worry, it's uphill all the way from there...

Kellar: Only on the technical point that it can't possibly go downhill after a Randy Anderson interview...

Sean: He's waiting in the studio... get it done now and the next thing is a photo-shoot...

Kellar: Oh hell no! Jon Kellar does not d...

Sean: Right now if you want to win the LOTC I suggest you do exactly as I say... especially if you want Dyna to come back...

Kellar: Dyna... come back?

Sean: Well you don't think she'll settle for anything less than a LOTC trophy do you?

Kellar: I guess...

Sean: Then get in there!

~Kellar leaves, Kev approaches Sean~

Kev: You're an evil, manipulative, selfish, arrogant bastard....

Sean: Sticks and stones Kev... sticks and stones...

~Sean leaves to join Kellar~

CUT TO THE STUDIO

~Sean enters, passing Kellar as he comes through the door and shaking Randy Anderson warmly by the hand~

Sean: Randy... so good to see you my fellow drinker... help yourself to a Guinness...

Randy: Well... I'm on the j...

Sean: Randy... Randy... that doesn't sound like you. What happened to "WHO'S FOR A BEER???!!!" and all that?

Randy: Well GZW head office said I should keep my drinking down when I'm working....

Sean: Ugh! Those commie bastards, no sense of what a man truly needs. Tell you what... I won't tell anyone if you don't.

Randy: Deal!

~Sean pulls three Guinness cans out of a nearby cooler and the three men open simultaneously~

Sean: Here's to wrestling... the future of the business in the form of my client... and the true black gold straight from the breweries of my homeland. DOWN THE HATCH!!!

~They take a drink, at which point Sean begins over emphasising his Irish Accent~

Sean: And now if I may... a prayer.

~Randy tilts his head and closes his eyes. Kellar does not, until Sean slaps him over the back of the head with his Guinness can. Sean picks up another, and begins to pray~

Sean: Show some respect Jon! *clears throat* Our heavenly father, we ask of thee this day for many things. We ask that you grant mercy to Chris Cairns, in the hope that when all this is over he may still be able to write his entertaining witty columns, and bring joy to millions with his off the wall delights in the form of his interview show... and protect him from Jon Kellar... that he may continue to live in peace. Amen.

Kellar: Amen

Randy: Amen

~They drink~

Sean: And heavenly father, please do not allow Eddie Fever's career to end so soon... the lad shows promise and is one for the future. Help him to accept his incoming defeat with grace and humility, that he might someday rise from the ashes of his LOTC embarassment, and be brought up in the love and wisdom of your heavenly name. May his path not cross that of Jon Kellar so soon, that he may continue along it for many a year to come, and have a prosperous career when his time comes. Amen

Kellar: Amen

Randy: *hic* Amen

Sean: Randy, if you can't keep up then go and sit down...

Randy: Sorry...

~Drink~

Sean: And to our resident sellers of crappy goods, we ask for your protection. May Vyle not repeat his party peice for a third time and be allowed to continue in his patriotic spirit... from the safety of a wheelchair after Jon Kellar cripples him, out of concern that he may fall off yet another ladder and injure himself. Jon Kellar is a man of mercy, and we ask in your name that he be given the strength to do his job.

Kellar: What a load of sh....

Sean: Jon... this is a time of respect... don't f**k it up.

Kellar: But you just said....

Sean: Uh uh!!! This we ask... Amen.

Kellar: Amen...

Randy: .... oh right... Amen....

~Drink~

Sean: And for his partner Quake, we wish nothing but the best in his recovery from mental breakdown after his precious winning streak is ended, possibly by Jon Kellar. However, we ask that Quake not be thrown to the lions too early, and be allowed to continue what will no doubt be a glorious reign in the Television beginnings, prolonging it's life well beyond it's dignity but allowing it to bathe in your glory for just a little longer.  Amen

Kellar: Amen

Randy: Yeah what he said...

~Drink~

Sean: To our bitterest of rivals, those who have beaten Kellar in main events once a peice... Seth Raide and John Taylor, we ask that they accept with dignity that their time is over, and be among those who raise Jon Kellar high above their heads on the eve of victory, that they may pass the torch to he that is most deserving... and be in a condition wherein they may view Kellar's glorious reign as Lord of the Coliseum from the best seats in your heavenly arena. Amen.

Kellar: Amen

Randy: .... a....a....me...

Kellar: Amen?

Randy: That's it...

Sean: And to the mystery opponent, whoever he may be...

~Sean bows his head and makes the sign of the cross~

Sean: Lord, may you have mercy on his soul....

TO BE CONTINUED