ONE LAST PUSH
Mania, Jon Kellar, Sean O'Gara
~Kellar is sitting at the table
reading a letter, Sean is sitting opposite~
Kellar: Why? Why would she do this now?
Sean: Because she wanted what was best for you, she felt that if
she were here she would be a distraction, so she's just gone away for a while.
Kellar: She just took off and then sent me a letter? Didn't she
say anything else?
Sean: Not to me...
~Kev, who is standing nearby, opens his
mouth to say something, but then sees the look in Sean's eyes and closes his
mouth. He shakes his head~
Kellar: This doesn't seem like her at all...
Sean: Jon... that is her handwriting...
Sean: But nothing... you've been neglecting your training quite
enough these last couple of weeks. I mean does the Lord of the Coliseum mean
nothing to you anymore?
Kellar: Don't be ridiculous...
Sean: Well you don't exactly seem to be going out of your way to
prove me wrong on that front... most of the other competitors seem to have
forgotten you exist... and those opponents who do mention you are laughing.
Knocking out the ROH Icon just wasn't enough... and you're only as good as your
last achievement. Win the LOTC and not a single one of them will be able to
ignore that. In the meantime, we need to send a little reminder to the world
that you're still around...
Kellar: Sounds good to me... and how do you propose we begin?
Sean: Well... I took the liberty of...
~He hands Kellar the newspaper~
~Kellar looks up at Sean~
Kellar: I don't remember saying any of that...
Sean: You didn't... but they don't need to know that... and this
just the beginning. By the end of tonight, there won't be a single media outlet
that isn't singing your praises and crowning you as champion.
Kellar: And this is supposed to achieve what?
Sean: Jon, 2 years ago the world was your oyster, your roster
profile even says so, now you stand on the brink of having it all again. We need
to let everyone in earshot know that you are not going to let this chance slip
away without a fight.
Kellar: I think people know that sort of thing already without
me having to remind me again.
~Sean slaps Kellar~
Sean: Don't even think that. If there's one thing I've learnt
about the puss filled sacks of skin that we call wrestling fans it's that
they're as fickle as anything can possibly be. One minute you're the next big
thing, the next you're development material that originally showed promise.
Before you know it you're back in the indies and nobody could give two hoots
about you. The only way to prevent that from happening is to make it clear that
you are too good for the company to lose, and the way to do that is with the PR
campaign to end them all.
Kellar: And that'll help me win?
Sean: Well put it this way, how do you
think Vyle will feel when it's your face and not his that people are seeing
every day, or how Quake will feel when his "undefeated" streak drops another
place in the importance charts. Eddie Fever will need to be his own hero to save
himself from the all swallowing pit of "yesterday's news", John Taylor will see
that he's the only one still talking himself up, Chris Cairns will see the great
media engine turned against him in terrifically poetic style, and Seth Raide's
blunt and ineffective attempts to spook you will be crushed beneath the wave of
Sean: We can work on the name later. The
point is that you rekindled that lost fire at Glory Through Honour, and now it's
time to let your opponents perish in the flames of anger. Time to make them pay
for treating you like the new kid on the block, like the one who's had too much
too soon. So what if you have? The fact is that when it came down to it you made
it count when they couldn't, and at LOTC I know that the Human Dynamite is going
to do it all over again! But first... we have to light the fuse, get people
behind you, so that when you explode onto their screens they'll know that you've
got it all. So here's the schedule...
Sean: It's time you stopped sitting on
your ass in complete silence and took your message to the world. Remind them
that all our preparation for the Qualifying rounds was just the tip of one of
the largest icebergs to ever hit the Titanic stage of professional wrestling...
this is Kellar's time...
Kellar: And you want me to meet Randy Anderson... now?
Sean: Yep... and then we're going out
there, recruiting the masses, spreading the word, turning our enemies into putty
in our hands and feeding it to the overzealous infants that are the critics.
It's time for the toXin to spread!!!!
Kellar: Why Randy Anderson?
Sean: Because he's the only one we could
get on short notice... don't worry, it's uphill all the way from there...
Kellar: Only on the technical point that it can't possibly go
downhill after a Randy Anderson interview...
Sean: He's waiting in the studio... get it
done now and the next thing is a photo-shoot...
Kellar: Oh hell no! Jon Kellar does not
Sean: Right now if you want to win the
LOTC I suggest you do exactly as I say... especially if you want Dyna to come
Kellar: Dyna... come back?
Sean: Well you don't think she'll settle
for anything less than a LOTC trophy do you?
Kellar: I guess...
Sean: Then get in there!
~Kellar leaves, Kev approaches Sean~
Kev: You're an evil, manipulative,
selfish, arrogant bastard....
Sean: Sticks and stones Kev... sticks and
~Sean leaves to join Kellar~
~Sean enters, passing Kellar as he comes
through the door and shaking Randy Anderson warmly by the hand~
Sean: Randy... so good to see you my
fellow drinker... help yourself to a Guinness...
Randy: Well... I'm on the j...
Sean: Randy... Randy... that doesn't sound
like you. What happened to "WHO'S FOR A BEER???!!!" and all that?
Randy: Well GZW head office said I should
keep my drinking down when I'm working....
Sean: Ugh! Those commie bastards, no sense
of what a man truly needs. Tell you what... I won't tell anyone if you don't.
~Sean pulls three Guinness cans out of a
nearby cooler and the three men open simultaneously~
Sean: Here's to wrestling... the future of
the business in the form of my client... and the true black gold straight from
the breweries of my homeland. DOWN THE HATCH!!!
~They take a drink, at which point Sean
begins over emphasising his Irish Accent~
Sean: And now if I may... a prayer.
~Randy tilts his head and closes his
eyes. Kellar does not, until Sean slaps him over the back of the head with his
Guinness can. Sean picks up another, and begins to pray~
Sean: Show some respect Jon! *clears
throat* Our heavenly father, we ask of thee this day for many things. We ask
that you grant mercy to Chris Cairns, in the hope that when all this is over he
may still be able to write his entertaining witty columns, and bring joy to
millions with his off the wall delights in the form of his interview show... and
protect him from Jon Kellar... that he may continue to live in peace. Amen.
Sean: And heavenly father, please do not
allow Eddie Fever's career to end so soon... the lad shows promise and is one
for the future. Help him to accept his incoming defeat with grace and humility,
that he might someday rise from the ashes of his LOTC embarassment, and be
brought up in the love and wisdom of your heavenly name. May his path not cross
that of Jon Kellar so soon, that he may continue along it for many a year to
come, and have a prosperous career when his time comes. Amen
Randy: *hic* Amen
Sean: Randy, if you can't keep up then go
and sit down...
Sean: And to our resident sellers of
crappy goods, we ask for your protection. May Vyle not repeat his
party peice for a third
time and be allowed to continue in his patriotic spirit... from the safety of a
wheelchair after Jon Kellar cripples him, out of concern that he may fall off
yet another ladder and injure himself. Jon Kellar is a man of mercy, and we ask
in your name that he be given the strength to do his job.
Kellar: What a load of sh....
Sean: Jon... this is a time of respect...
don't f**k it up.
Kellar: But you just said....
Sean: Uh uh!!! This we ask... Amen.
Randy: .... oh right... Amen....
Sean: And for his partner Quake, we wish
nothing but the best in his recovery from mental breakdown after his precious
winning streak is ended, possibly by Jon Kellar. However, we ask that Quake not
be thrown to the lions too early, and be allowed to continue what will no doubt
be a glorious reign in the Television beginnings, prolonging it's life well
beyond it's dignity but allowing it to bathe in your glory for just a little
Randy: Yeah what he said...
Sean: To our bitterest of rivals, those
who have beaten Kellar in main events once a peice... Seth Raide and John
Taylor, we ask that they accept with dignity that their time is over, and be
among those who raise Jon Kellar high above their heads on the eve of victory,
that they may pass the torch to he that is most deserving... and be in a
condition wherein they may view Kellar's glorious reign as Lord of the Coliseum
from the best seats in your heavenly arena. Amen.
Randy: .... a....a....me...
Randy: That's it...
Sean: And to the mystery opponent, whoever
he may be...
~Sean bows his head and makes the sign
of the cross~
Sean: Lord, may you have mercy on his
TO BE CONTINUED