We interrupt this broadcast to bring you the following announcement:
Northern Ireland 1-0 England
In other news, the England team are to be sued by Disney for impersonating a Mickey Mouse outfit
NOW BACK TO REGULAR PROGRAMMING
SEALED WITH AN X
Starring: Jon Kellar, Sean O'Gara, Dyna Might, Kev Mania
~As the static clears we find ourselves in a gym somewhere in Japan, where Kellar is punching some pads which are being held, reluctantly, by Kev~
Kev: Forgive me Jon... but don't we have toXic troops to do this job?
Kellar: Yes... but it's not as satisfying as hitting you...
Kev: Ah... that's alright then...
Sean: Oh Jon...
Kellar: DON'T!!! YOU'VE BEEN SAYING IT NON STOP FOR 2 DAYS NOW AND I'M SICK OF IT!!!
Sean: Would I?
~Kellar goes back to punching as Sean walks up behind him and puts his mouth up to Kellar's ear~
Sean: Couldn't resist!
Kellar: I noticed...
Sean: Come on Jon, you know if it was the other way around
Kellar: Well it's not the other way around, and you're annoying me... don't.
Sean: But it's fun!
Kellar: Not for me.
Sean: Since when did you get a say?
Kellar: Since I locked up the Guinness and hid the key...
Sean: You're lying...
Kellar: I don't lie about alcohol...
Sean: Well thankfully I've got my secret stash...
Kellar: Would that be the one hidden under the false floorboards concealed by the statue of the leprechaun pissing on a shamrock?
Sean: Err... no....
Kellar: You're lying...
Sean: GIVE ME BACK MY GUINNES YOU BASTA...
~Enter Dyna, who quickly rushes between the two and holds them apart~
Dyna: Ok ok... time for a time out methinks... we'll be right back! *snap*
AND NOW, KELLARVISION INTERACTIVE PRESENTS A GAME FOR OUR YOUNGER VIEWERS
SPOT THE MUPPET
BACK TO REGULAR PROGRAMMING
Dyna: Now where were we?
Sean: That bastard hid my Guinness!
Dyna: Guinness? Despite the drinking ban I put on you boys...
Sean: It's for medicinal purposes...
Dyna: I'm sure...
Kellar: Sean, when it comes to Sven Goran Erriksson, I've found it wise never to underestimate how bad England will play, so I had a contingency plan to shut you up!
Sean: You're a git you are...
Kellar: And proud.
Dyna: Well before you guys go at each other again might I remind you about the Misfits?
Kellar: What? This? *snap*
A VIDEO FEED BEGINS
~The scene shows Zander Frost in a dress, and a very camp impression of his voice is reading out the exert from his latest blog~
Onto more pressing and urgent matters, my good friend Jon Kellar has once again graced us all with more “pirated” television broadcasts straight out of GZW HQ. I never knew O’Gara not only knows how to drink but also knows enough about satellites to interrupt a multi-million dollar companies feed. Guess I don’t know everything huh? You’re little boys dispersed pretty easily of my little boys on Crimson and once again you’re all up again my “boys” come this Crimson. The best of luck to you all as frankly the fact you can beat a blubbering little retard, a steroid jacked no name and a silent little puberty-ridden homo is really admirable. When Jonny boy himself won’t step up and face the REAL challenge, the REAL bloody MisFit!
Oooh... these lace panties are so comfy... mmm... NeCro really knows how to satisfy me...
Always choosing to hide behind your comedy, or feeble attempts at it to escape answering or even being man enough to come out and admit I was right along with all my claims of you being nothing but an insufferable fraud. But like I said on Crimson, I have no problem doing things your way, I have no problem allowing you to run the show and get off with your little power trip. The fact that you’re nowhere near in control, and nothing but a poser, well, I’ll let that slide for a while just so you have your fun. By all means, laugh it up, and laugh it up good because after I deal with that decrepit old piece of shit Reject, I’ll be coming for your precious little toxin belt, and for the first time in CCW history… I’ll be a unified King of Thorns. I will NOT fail in this, Jon. I will NOT fail!
Oh crap... I wet meself...
Dyna: Why is Zander wearing a dress?
Sean: Why not?
Kellar: It is symbolic of one who is confused.... you see, Zander seems convinced that I'm the one who has something to prove in this little feud we've got going on. He's saying that I'm the one who needs to face the challenge, that I'm the one who can't handle the so-called real Misfit. I'm the fraud... to that, I offer this reply...
A VIDEO FEED BEGINS
[Cameras flashing all over Kowloon Park, the two men circle the table, not taking their eyes off each other as they stare through the heatwave, the flames flickering in the night's gentle wind. Zander rushes at Kellar - backs him into the turnbuckle! Frost with the quick jabs before lifting Kellar on to the second turnbuckle, the crowd rising in anticipation as the two men jostle for position in the corner. Kellar steps up to the top turnbuckle - Zander climbing on to the second... before then following Kellar up to the top! Both men wobbly on the top, Kellar retreats down a step, his head between Zander's thighs. Snap! Huracanrana from Zander, reversed into a superbomb from Kellar - ZANDER CRASHING THROUGH THE FLAMING TABLE!!!]
[DING! DING! DING!]
>Kellar 50 - 49 Zander<
Nelson: Kellar retains!
Kellar: So remind me... who's the one with something to prove? The guy who has talked the talk, walked the walk, and in the end was the one left standing when the two forces collided... or the one who talked the talk... and then stopped? And then of course, later that night, when he had the chance to take the title... he handed it back to me. He thinks he got inside my head when he did that, but all he did was prove what I said all along... that he is a coward, unwilling to seize the opportunity, and should he survive his encounter with Reject... he won't get another. Should we meet, then when it is over toXin will have jurisdiction over not one, but two extreme division titles... and dominance will be one step closer. Zander can shove his triple crown of thorns dream up where only NeCro's tongue doth probe...
Sean: In the meantime, we get to go one on one with Zander's regular orgy partners in a 6 man tag. Seems that Saxon and ArkAngel didn't take the hint when we ripped them apart last week, and NeCro didn't understand the message of having his head drilled through a chair by Kev before that... and Zander can't attack us because of the agreement he and Jon made!
Kellar: Well actually, he can't attack me, you two are fair game
Kev: Hey, it's all good, I could do with the exercise.
Sean: Supposed, but I doubt we'll be getting much of that. If they're twice as good as they were last week then we shouldn't lose too much sweat over Arkangel and Saxon... and Jonny boy wasn't exactly stressing himself to death when he took on NeCro... and if he can beat him then I shouldn't have a problem.
Kellar: What's the view like inside your arse?
Sean: Dingy, but it must be worse for you, what with the sun shining out of it and all...
Kellar: Ha ha...
Dyna: Come on then... back to work... come Sunday I want people to be talking about the Misfits for the right reasons... remembering their past acheivements and mourning their loss, and when they're gone, I'll enjoy watching you guys rip Zander apart piece by piece...
Kellar: Never could refuse a pretty face...