KELLARVISION IS NOW BROADCASTING

SEALED WITH AN X


Invasion Preparation

Starring: Jon Kellar, Sean O'Gara, Dyna Might, Kev Mania


~toXin TV interrupts the broadcast in a midst of static and green writing which reads "Revolution in Progress." And opens in the newly-reopened toXin gym, where some of the masses known only as the Toxic troops are training. In a ring in the corner two of them are chain wrestling while Sean looks on yelling instructions to them~

Sean: C'mon ye sons of bitches! Get yer arses in gear the lotta yeh!!! Yeh thenk that GZW will be the walkover that UCW was. Yer wrong!!! GET T'WORK!!!

~A previously unseen Kev approaches~

Kev: Why do you do that?

Sean: Do what?

Kev: Put on the over-the-top Irish accent whenever you're motivating.

Sean: It's just something I do ok? You never seen the Rocky movies?

Kev: Yes... what's that got to do with it?

Sean: Mickey you dumbass!

Kev: Mickey was Jewish, he has a Jewish funeral in Rocky III

Sean: That's a continuity error, he's quite clearly meant to be an Irish catholic up to that point.

Kev: Irish maybe, but catholic? Why would he have a Jewish funeral?

Sean: He's an Irish catholic!

Kev: He's Jewish!

Sean: IRISH!

Kev: Jon!

~Kellar looks up from polishing his new belt a few steps away~

Kellar: What?

Kev: Mickey from the Rocky movies... Irish Catholic or Jewish?

~Kellar thinks for a second~

Kellar: American

Sean: Oh, well thank you for that enlightening input fearless leader.

Kellar: Sean, we are on the brink of a massive invasion of one the biggest if not THE biggest wrestling company in America today and you're asking me about the Rocky movies... why?

Sean: Because I don't want Kev to be right...

~Kellar looks at Kev, who has his usual "vacant" look on his face~

Kellar: Reason enough I suppose, but to tell you the truth I couldn't give two fucks if Mickey from the Rocky Movies was a Martian with three penises and six breasts.

Kev: How is that possible?

Sean: Well Kev, there are these things called her...

Kellar: Sean, in order to preserve what little remains of his sanity, there are things in life we don't tell Kev about... that is one of them. Besides, last time I checked you two had a match on Crimson against two of Zander Frost's buddies?

Sean: We do...

Kellar: So why are you talking about the Rocky movies anyway? Don't you have work to do.

Sean: Kev wants to know why I put on a strong Irish accent when I'm motivating...

Kellar: Well why do you, I thought you were Irish?

Sean: I am, but my accent's a lot more subtle normally, but for motivation I push it more.

Kellar: Why?

???: Is that really relevant?

~All three turn towards the door to see a smiling Dyna, still with a band aid across her forehead~

Kellar: Well, looks like the all-male inspired rules are going out the window yet again.

Dyna: Nice to see you too Jon, nice to see all of you!

Toxic Trooper: Even me?

Dyna: Of coruse trooper 43!!!

TT: I'm trooper 56...

Dyna: Oh...

Kellar: 56 you say?

TT: Yes...

Kellar: FIFTY SIX!!! *finger snap*

TROOPER BIO

TOXIN TROOPER 56

Height: 6"2

Weight 270lbs

Age: Unknown

Status: Stationed in New York

Character Traits: Psychotic, Unpredictable, Destructive, Loyal to Jon Kellar

SNAP BACK

Kellar: Hmmm... I like those traits... but I see you've lost some weight... and some height... and you're in the wrong country. How stupid do you think I am Greer?

Greer: I guess you found me out...

Kellar: Oh well "go me!". What do I get, a medal? *finger snap*

~Greer is suddenly surrounded by toxic troopers~

Kellar: Looks like we've got a mouse in our trap... I suggest you make your explanation for this unapproved appearance extremely good before my troops give you a light speed unguided tour of the garbage shoot with the added bonus of a trip to hospital.

Greer: I wanted to get some words with Sean and Kev about their match... that's what I do. You wouldn't let me in so I had to go undercover. Can I get my interview?

Kellar: Well lucky for you I'm in a generous mood and I need to talk to Dyna anyway. Sean... Kev.... the floor is yours. The rest of you *clap clap* back to work.#

SPLIT SCREEN MODE

Disclaimer: Kellarvision. inc and Reality Check studios cannot be held responsible for anyone whose head explodes whilst trying to read both conversations simultaneously. Just don't be that stupid!

SEAN AND KEV

Sean: So Mickey... what can we do for you?

Greer: Well as you know, you two are facing Saxon North and Damien ArkAngel at the next Crimson in your debut match, do you have any comment on that?

Sean: Well they haven't said much about us so far so I fail to see why we should give them a different response. 

Kev: toXin's actions always speak louder than its words Greer, and at Crimson we fully intend to make a statement. In UCW we destroyed the tag team division, and while no such division exists here in GZW we full intend on dominating the tag team competition any way that we can.

Sean: What the idiot said..

Kev: Hey!

Sean: To steal a phrase from Jonny boy over there... what did these guys do to deserve the fame an recognition they've received. They're leeching their popularity off of Zander Frost, not off of their own utterly pathetic merits, and when we get through with them they wont have any merits TO be proud of. The crowd gets carried away by our dominant style, and our opponents get carried away by the EMTs. It's always been the toXin way!

DYNA AND KELLAR

Kellar: I didn't think you were being discharged yet.

Dyna: Well the doctors said I could come home and frankly that hospital was beginning to bore the hell out of me.

Kellar: Well it's good to have you back and all but are you sure this is safe?

Dyna: Oh I see, now youre concerned about me. Before now it was all "Zander's no threat, I can deal with him" 

Kellar: Dyna I've been on guilt trip of almost a week about that and I'm in the process of putting things right, dwelling in the past will achieve nothing.

Dyna: So you decided to bring back toXin.

Kellar It's been in the pipeline for a while, seemed like the best time to do it. GZW opened the floodgates when they signed Sean and if they thought we were just going to be a guardian angel for the Extreme Title then they were blind and ignorant.

Dyna: Well, I promised myself I'd fight it, but frankly I've got no love for a federation that allows thugs like Zander to attack non-wrestlers like myself, so I'm behind you 100%.

Greer: Jon Kellar, can I have a word with you about your match?

Kellar: Match?

Dyna: Yeah I stopped over at GZW HQ on the way. They wanted me to talk you out of this "renegade" crap but I said I had no interest in it, so they've booked you in a match.

Kellar: They have no authority over the title, I made that quite clear! I defend it when I want against who I want...

Dyna: It's not for the title... it's a singles match against Vernon Vanderbilt.

Kellar: The walking L'Oriel advert from the Contest of Champions? I don't want my TV time sullied by his effeminate crap!

Greer: Are you refusing to compete?

Kellar: Shut yer trap Greer, I never said that. I'll fight Vernon Vanderbilt if GZW truly wants one of their more promising young superstars to be the first to be fed to the toXin revolutionary machine, but whatever their reason for doing that it does not change the fact that I don't like the idea of having to share my ring with GZW's answer to the Barbie doll. What I do want is for Zander Frost to give me an answer about the challenge I have laid down before him. I mean how hard is it to say yes or no? He takes on Reject in a match of my choice, and if he wins, then I give him a shot at the toXin Extreme Heavyweight Title... simple!

Greer: And if he loses?

Kellar: Then he'll have no more excuse to whine about not getting a shot.

~Kellar snatches the microphone from Greer and looks at the camera~

Kellar: And Zander, this I promise, I WILL get my answer even if I have to get on a plane to Hong Kong, march into the Slaughterhouse on Tuesday night and beat it out of you in front of your beloved homeland fans.

~Kellar pushes the microphone back into Greer's chest~

Kellar: Come on... we've got work to do...

~The toXic trio walk off as the camera fades to static~

WE ARE EVERYONE, WE ARE NO-ONE, WE ARE TOXIN, THE REVOLUTION BEGINS...