Note: This is not affiliated with WWE or wrestling insiders- it's only an editorial opinion of World Wrestling Entertainment.
11/7/02
- Brock Lesnar- huge ego? In my opinion, that belongs to HHH over Lesnar 10,000 to 1.
- Hurricane is back in the midcard-YEY! I was just about to say, "Hurricane in main events? WHATSUPWITHTHAT?!"
- Kane's crowd reaction- dead. "Katie Vick"- dead. HHH's common sense- dead. Vinnie Mac's brain- dead.
- Jeff Hardy? JEFF HARDY? I don't know, you tell me.
- What the hell is Mattitude? It sounds like the name of a painkiller.
- Speaking of pills, HHH is saying he's the best on RAW in a newspaper interview. Wait up there. I think that belongs to any man who doesn't kill characters and kiss up to the man on top for his pay.
- John Cena is rapping! What's next, Kevin Nash singing Beatles Live?
- The angle between all those Smackdown guys is too drawn-out. Edge's feuds are at least 2 months long...if they stopped that, he would be a World Champion by now.
- Brock or Big Show- WHO'S THE FACE?! Someone tell us now. I think 1 should turn face, or Heyman should play the bagpipe while upside down in a tree.
- New move names:
HOGANKILLER: Someone escaping Kurt Angle's Anklelock.
HULK BUSTER '02: Name invented by Scott Keith, it's Brock Lesnar's Bearhug. Scott's site is here.
IDIOCY: All Jamal & Rosey/Rosie double teams.
- I believe Mick Foley's return would do no good- just like Test.
I mean come on- LOOK AT HIM! Is he losing weight on almost every part of himself? And his head is just HUGE!
- I WOULD LIKE TO SAY HI TO MY TESTICLES! No- actually, Test is being humiliated by God- I mean Vince McMahon- for speaking out against his suggestions. He later sucked up and followed the orders, so why...oh wait, I HATE TEST. Never mind.
- Steve-O from Jackass probably outwrestles William Regal. Anyone who walks a tightrope right above an alligator pool can beat Regal.
- I say they return Koko B. Ware! A multi-colored-hair maniac who carries a bird...CAN YOU SAY NEW GENERATION?!
Finally, I close with the statement that WWE sucks. Visit the IPW site for a better fed. I'm off...be back later!
RAW Opinions: 11/12/02
- On RAW, HHH claimed he was God. Is he saying more shoots on TV? Maybe he-SHOCK-FORGOT HIS STEROIDS! Now I take them on prescription, but H-Bomb over here enjoys that funny feeling.
- Quote of the night: When Al Snow's music interrupted Chris Nowinski talking about Charles Dickens, Jim Ross quoted "I don't think Dickens said anything about Head."
- Jericho's new music SUCKS! It's good for heat, but damaging to human ears.
- Surgeon General's Warning: An overdose of HHH can be hazardous to the brain.
- SmackDown 4 kicks ass! Don't have it yet, but I will soon. And if they put in X-Pac but not Rey Mysterio, I will personally knock Vinnie Mac's toupee off.
- The old HBK promos (1997) were so much better! Did baptism and a Tyson right hand suddenly kill his promo skills? What's next, a guitar duo and baptism with this man?
- Lance Storm didn't do a Veterans' Day promo! Tell the press! Tell the press!
- I can't believe Jeff Hardy accompanied Dudleys Version 3.0 to ringside. That downgrades them to Version 0.32. By the way, Version 1.0 was ECW and Version 2.0 was WWF's Bubba Ray and D'Von.
- Batista, if you're so tough, do RAW a favor and put HHH on the shelf. While you're at it, get him off Stephanie McMahon's "shelf."
- Rico looks like something off 1 of 2 things: Will & Grace and the Teletubbies. Will he be the next man victimized by Jackass's own Party Boy?
- On an unrelated note, I saw Jackass The Movie Sunday. It was funny as hell, for the most part. I suggest the WWE looks at it, it will bring back memories.
- HBK's Pedigree looks like something from Best of Backyard Wrestling Volume 5: WWE Strikes Back!
- Suggestion of the day: Return Roddy Piper as an unidentified space alien. He needs a gimmick refresher.
- I close today by saying this bullcrap better be over by Survivor Series or Trish's new music won't damage my ears! That song needs some fine tuning, by the way. Trish, you're still hot, but your pop is DEAD. Survivor Series better be the best thing in 8 months for WWE!
Super Tuesday Opinions: 11/13/02
- First off, Big Show's boring promo on UPN's Super Tuesday should have started with "Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, welcome to Jackass." At least the crowd would have been behind him then.
- Of course, the RAW 10-man tag at the end of Super Tuesday ended with God on top, Mr. Immortality Until God Came Around on bottom (HHH pinned Kane). Most of that match should have had "midcard for life" spray painted on it.
- If Roid Rage walks out World Champion after Survivor Series, I'll beat his ass with a garden shovel! I wouldn't mind taking the stoner drugs out of RVD at the same time.
- Did HBK use the words "it's not moral" while talking to J.R. and King? Look at his 1997 clips again, and tell me he didn't say that.
- Watching Angle/Benoit vs. The Guerreros is like watching a test pattern. Who's the face here? Same for Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar, which would have been so much better if WWE had done it right and not brought Big Show in as a HEEL to Smackdown.
- Is McMahon into his age group wrestling or something? If so, there's a place called Japan for you.
- Hulk Hogan finished with WWE? I can answer that the same as I answer the question "Does D'Von suck at singles wrestling?" and say "I guess so." They are promoting the book, though. Here in Tampa he promoted former wresther B. Brian Blair's run for a county office, but he lost anyway, and he did an ad for 10-10-220. Hulk, call 1-800-HAIR and get a new style if you want more acting roles.
- Call 1-800-GENES-AN-IDIOT if you think Gene Okerlund is an ass clown for talking about Tough Enough as if it was Wrestlemania 19.
- I end my rant today by saying that the unemployment lines continue to grow, and WWE people should be part of that. Hey Vinnie Mac, some anonymous Jerry Jarrett called and said you suck.
Smackdown/Velocity/Confidential Opinions: 11/17/02
- First off, Brock got cheered loudly for the reason that Big Show apparently sucks. Paul Heyman is the idiot who won't let him turn face...after all, he keeps Justin Credible on contract.
- I think Jerry Lawler will never get another piece of fresh meat. That means, YOU, JERRY LAWLER, HAVE WON A 6-NIGHT STAY WITH MAE YOUNG!
- Did Fabolous Moolah run Steve Austin over in 1999?
- Survivor Series is tonight, and remember, if Elimination Chamber sucks, Jerry Jarrett (of NWA-TNA) will hogtie Stephanie and Bischoff and force Vinnie Mac to do the Joe Boxer dance in the ghetto streets.
- It's my friend's birthday today...he stopped watching WWE becuase it sucked. Welcome to our side. My birthday's only 8 days away, and I'm getting WWE stuff. However, I did turn down the chance to go see Smackdown December 17th here in Tampa to go see IPW on November 30th. Curt Hennig and Sean "I Don't Suck" Waltman are in the main event at the show, called "Independent Armageddon."
- I think Brian Gerwirtz, the head RAW writer, is not a human being, or Homo sapien. He is a Homo stupidass necrofag, or a stupid necrophiliac zombie who should be institutionalized.
- Surgeon General's Warning: Kurt Angle Syndrome can cause hair loss and sudden dorky image.
- Albert has touched good storylines only as much as he's touched Slim Fast. Squashing jobbers is actually good enough for him, until he shaves himself.
- RNN Breaking News: Scott Steiner did an interview on Confidential. He claims he'll produce for WWE. Before you do anything Scott, Vince will have to put the drugs away.
- I close today by saying that Mike Tyson would be good for WWE. Enjoy Survivor Series!
Survivor Series/RAW opinions: 11/20/02
- Yea, I know, I'm late. But I still have opinions!
- First off, HHH is safe from me. He jobbed to his "best friend" Shawn Michaels at Survivor Series. WHOOP-DEE-DOO! He should have lost that belt a long time ago!
- The Dudleys are back! Time to upgrade to Dudleys Version 4.0!
- My ears! They're almost dead! Oh, it's our former Women's Champion. Victoria beat her for the Women's Title in a match with FAR too many screwed up spots. Time for another year-long reign before Chyna comes back, takes the belt, and throws it in the trash while touring Japan.
- Speaking of Chyna: in NWA-TNA news, "Syxx-Pac" Sean Waltman is now engaged to Joanie "Chyna" Laurer. He better not bring her to IPW on November 30th! Besides, who would want that, seriously?
- Speaking of IPW, the full card for IPW/NWA Florida Independent Armageddon will be at the bottom of today's editorial.
- Suggestion of the Day: Turn the Undertaker into a zombie who wears black, give him all black ring attire and grave music, and he'll come out with a manager named Paul...oh wait, THEY ALREADY DID THAT. In that case, just let him go.
- Martian men are coming to Earth...They're abducting all of the jerks...Martian men are coming to Earth...MARTIAN MEN, DON'T TAKE ME! OK, so I stole those words from a song, but I think Vinnie Mac should say them in case Jerry Jarrett ever gets successful off McMahon's former employees.
- Now that HBK is the NEEEEEEWWW World Champion, he faces M...F...L (Midcard For Life), or RVD, next week on RAW. Anyone up for actually watching RAW just for that?
- I think Paul Bearer is next in line for the Joe Boxer dancing role.
- Surgeon General's Warning: Any fed who hires Disco Inferno is a failed one.
- Scott Steiner finally debuted! Where's he going next? Actually, I'll quote what he said in WCW: "This goes to all my drugged-up freaks! Big Poppa Steriods are your hookup...HOLLA IF YOU HEAR ME!" Apparently HHH was watching.
- Finally, I close by saying that I praise the ground Eric Bischoff walks on. He had the gonads to show up in the WWE.
- Here's the Independent Armageddon Card:
Smackdown Opinions: 11/23/02
- Late again! But, still, I'm here.
- 1 week until IPW! Here in Tampa during Smackdown, they put a number on the screen and said that the first 5 callers won 4 tickets to Smackdown! WHOOPIE DOO! CAN YOU FEEL THE RUSH AS PEOPLE DIAL IN?! Headline: NOBODY CARES.
- J.R. criticized many people on a radio show in Oklahoma City, including Joanie "Artist Formerly Known As Chyna" Laurer, Rena "Artist Formerly Known As Sable" Mero, and even Hollywood Hulk Hogan. He said that the Syxx-Pac/Chyna marriage would be stupid. Finally, he gets something right. Plus, J.R. said Hogan would never grow hair again. So much for 1-800-HAIR.
- Hulk Hogan reportedly told J.R. "I have more money than God." No need to worry- HHH is catching up slowly.
- I watched IPW at 2:00 this morning, and they showed a clip of Curt Hennig in NWA-TNA. Have you seen that INCREDIBLY SMALL ARENA? Do they expect BUYRATES for their show?
- I think WCW would have been a better name for TNA.
- Here's a coversation I caught between Brock and Heyman at Survivor Series.
Brock, after realizing he had been screwed: "Who did that? Someone did! Someone with a man's voice!"
Heyman, squeaking in fear: "I DON'T HAVE A MAN'S VOICE!"
Brock: "YOU! YOU DID IT, HEYMAN!"
Heyman: "I'm SO scared! Come on, hit me once!"
Lesnar proceeded to kill his now-former agent with his little finger. Then he F5d the arena and walked out ready to fight Godzilla.
- A long, long time ago...In a land far far away...WWF was good! That's right, I said WWF! Bring it, Wildlife Fund! Take this site away from me!
- Screw Paul Heyman.
- "Matt Hardy...VERSION 1!...is upgrading to Version 2!" He proceeds to put on a tutu and parade in circles around Tazz.
- Surgeon General's Warning: A change in your name when you get to WWE can cause brain overload due to confusion. They took the Junior out of Rey Mysterio! My outrage at that is the reason that message is up.
- Suggestion of the Day: Try giving Hulk Hogan $12,000,000 a year to be a jobber.
- I'll close saying that WWE needs to get rid of more than the E. I think ditching the whole writing team is a start.
RAW Opinions: 11/28/02
- I got high speed Internet Monday and I'm STILL late. It's after midnight, so I'll cut the length and save everyone the hell of having to read all my complaints.
- I got Smackdown 4! It kicks everyone else's ass! I played season mode as DDP and pinned The Rock for the Undisputed Title! That proves that, with a PS2 and a disc, anything's possible.
- I also got WWE Anthology, and the music is good for the most part. The problem is that I have 4 or 5 of those songs in LONGER VERSIONS already on my computer! Also, who put in Steven Regal's old theme "Real Man's Man" and forgot to include Duke Droese and Marc Mero? By the way, Regal, "Real Man's Man" doesn't sound like you, British boy.
- Scott Steiner didn't show up on RAW, and HBK/RVD was interrupted by HHH. Politics are back!
- I listened to Anthology, and I found that I actually liked Chris Jericho's theme "King of My World". It's much better on CD. However, Trish's music STILL sucks.
- Steven Richards on RAW? They don't use guys like Mark Henry, and HE gets time on RAW.
- On Anthology, there's some Spanish song for a team that only 3 people have ever heard of. Who made this crap?
- On the other hand, there IS good music on Anthology. They have Real American and Rey Mysterio. That alone is a start.
- I don't have too much more to say except...3 DAYS UNTIL IPW! I'll be back with another update!
IPW Independent Armageddon opinions: 12/1/02
- Nothing's better than hearing 65-year-old women with no teeth screaming obscenities at fat Cuban guys.
- VIP ticket holders got in at 6:00, and everyone else waited until 7:00. I had VIP, so I got in early, and by 7:00, I had received Bobby "The Brain" Heenan's autograph, taken a picture with former WWE superstar X-Pac (with autograph) and purchased a "Before They Were Famous" DVD.
- There were too many things for sale and I only walked out with 1 DVD?!
- When my brother got Heenan's autograph, he had a sheet of paper, blank on 1 side. He turned it to the printed side, and after he realized the other side was blank, he said "for a minute, I thought I was signing for a car salesman."
- Before the show, Naphtali addressed the crowd about the death of a former IPW star, and then said the first of many quotes of the night: "And now to sing our national anthem...ELVIS WESLEY!"
- An Elvis impersonator did the national anthem. A few people, including myself, shouted "Honky Tonk Man!"
- The first match was Vito DeNucci vs. Uptown Frankie Capone for the IPW TV Title. Vito talked before the match, calling ring announcer Shannon Rose "a fag" and using the word "ass" until it had no meaning.
- The winner of the first match, and still IPW TV Champion: Frankie Capone via jawbreaker and pinfall.
- The second match was Cuba vs. USA: "Cuban Assassin" Fidel Sierra and Midian (former WWF superstar) vs. Axis and Python. Picture Goldberg in red, and you know what Axis looks like in the ring. The faces won after Sierra accidentally nailed Midian with the Cuban flag, and Axis and Python hit the Dudley/Doomsday Device and pinned Midian.
- The third match: NWA Florida Champion Danny Doring pinned Lex Lovett. Prior to the match, Lovett and manager Jimmy Del Rey got on the mic. Doring then came out with So Cal Val, and said "...my valet, who I'm staying celebate for until she turns 18." By the way, this was the second match to end with a jawbreaker.
- The next thing I can remember is American Dragon coming out and telling everyone that A.J. Styles didn't show up. He said his own name about 6 times before cruiserweight Sting wannabe Justice showed up. Dragon won it with an ARMBAR. Yes, an ARMBAR.
- Next was one of the most brutal matches I've ever seen: Florida King of the Death Match! Messiah, who used Prayer by Disturbed as his theme music, won with an EXTREME spot. Messiah put Madman Pondo (who used an uncensored version of ICP's "Fuck the World" as his theme music) on the top and SLAMMED HIM INTO A GARBAGE CAN CONTAINING 6 OR 7 LIGHTTUBES. There were many lighttubes used during the match, and knives too! Chaos and Prime Evil fought about 2 feet away from me!
- Intermission was immediately after that match. During that time, I read an autographed copy of B. Brian Blair's book about what it takes to be a pro wrestler, and I did something else, and I'll tell that story. First off, my dad told me that IPW diva So Cal Val was getting pictures taken at a table. I went up there and paid $5 for a pic with her (I paid $10 for X-Pac), and we got the pic. Then she signed it, gave me a kiss and said "what's your name?" I answered, and she said "nice to meet you, hope you enjoy the show!" I walked off, not forgetting to eyeball the hot girl working the concessions.
- After intermission, a cruiserweight battle royal took place, with it the return of heel manager Jimmy Del Rey. During the battle royal, a redneck guy and his toothless old mother were brawling in the crowd, thanks to Del Rey's taunting. The mother said "he does that 1 more time, he's out of the house." He's 30 or 40 years old, AND HE STILL LIVES WITH HIS MOTHER.
- There were 2 winners of the battle royal, Steve Madison and this other guy, and both men faced Naphtali for the Florida Unified Cruiserweight Title. Madison, despite being managed by Del Rey and Lex Lovett, got chants in his favor from the crowd. In the end, Del Rey and Lovett turned on Madison and Naphtali won. After the match, the Shane twins ran out there with Ron Niemi and Del Rey got on the mic. He became the only man to use the word "fuck" on the mic. Niemi told him that the WWF fired him because he banged Pat Patterson.
- An 8-man tag match was next. Too much to say here, a table was used...the heels TOTALLY CHEATED to win it. A REFEREE TURNED HEEL.
- The ladder match was far too confusing. Steve Corino grabbed the NWA Southern belt, but the IPW belt was still up there. The Alliance of Defiance interfered and Rod Steel grabbed the IPW belt when he wasn't even in the match! Referee Jim Bragg awarded him the title, but Eddie Edwards, the IPW Commissioner, held the belt up. Very confusing little segment.
- TIME FOR THE MAIN EVENT! Syxx-Pac would take on Curt Hennig. Bobby Heenan, the guest ring announcer, came out to generic hard rock. He praised the fans, then Kings by Run DMC (the DX 2000 theme) hit and Syxx-Pac came out. Bobby Heenan said "he's won titles in the WWF, WCW, he came here on TWA..." Then a country song hit and Hennig came out. Syxx-Pac said "since everyone, including the referees, has had the mic tonight, I'll have it for myself." A minute later, Hennig said "hate to tell you, but the South sucks." Each man kicked out of the other's finisher, there was a Bronco Buster...at 11:53 P.M., Syxx-Pac pinned Curt Hennig with a simple backslide. The match was about 8 minutes long.
- I loved the show, and I love So Cal Val...OK, enough with the hit lines.
- Other news: Before the show, I got Gameshark to work with Smackdown 4! Now I have everything! That's it for now, I guess. IPW, ROCK ON!
Special Edition: 12/2/02
- This is more info on IPW/NWA Florida Independent Armageddon.
- Attendance: 917. They only used half the building, and I guessed that only 500 people were in the Pinellas Expo Center. By the way, the other half was reserved for, and already set up for, an arts-and-crafts show that took place December 1st.
- A match-by-match recap can be read here.
- My favorite match was King of the Deathmatch. Lighttubes, blood, knives, barbedwire, chairs, crowd fighting...it was all good.
- The worst match of the night...I can't say 1 outright, but the 8-man tag was confusing, and so was the ending to the ladder match.
- Most boring promo: Fidel Sierra.
- Most exciting promo: Ron Niemi/Jimmy Del Rey.
- Funniest moments: Too many- beginning with Elvis Wesley and ending with Syxx-Pac's little comment about being on the mic.
- I actually said the following during the main event, word-for-word:
Surgeon General's Warning: Joanie is not good to do. (Referring to Joanie "The Artist Formerly Known as Chyna" Laurer)
- I have now saved many pics from the show, and they'll be up shortly. Be back for more hits and disses later!
IPW Independent Armageddon pics: 12/2/02
- I have a life, but I took the time to retrieve some pics!
Elvis Wesley sings the National Anthem
Vito Denucci vs. Frankie Capone
Mideon and Axis in a tag match
Danny Doring vs. Lex Lovett
American Dragon and Justice following their match
King of the Deathmatch
Cruiserweight Battle Royal
Triple Threat Cruiserweight Title match
8-man mayhem
Steele vs. Corino- they might fall off!
The main event
- There are more pics here. I had to put this 1 up, though, because my twin brother is in the shot, in the Steve Austin shirt with the censor sign over the face. It's available in larger, clear form by clicking the link to more pics, then clicking on the first one.
- I'll be back to rant RAW!
Week Opinions: 12/7/02
- I WAS TOO BUSY TOO PAY ATTENTION TO DETAIL THIS WEEK. But I still have a few opinions!
- First of all, Bill Demott is using Marc Mero's old WWF theme. From one loser to another.
- HHH stayed down for a long time for HBK last Monday. Had that been ANYONE else, they would have had their ass beat by the Political One.
- The REAL reason I'm here today is to introduce some brand new wrestling videos to the world. They were made by me and my brother, while we had a lot of time on our hands. Here they are! Right-click and select Save Target As to download them (make them public, I don't care!), or just click them to play them.
- First, we have my brother's tribute to the WWF name. It plays to "Blurry" by Puddle of Mudd.
- Nexr is his tribute to "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. It's funny, because it plays to the Budweiser song, "This Bud's For You." The song was my idea, and the video was my brother's creation.
- Finally, we have my tribute to the Undertaker. It plays to his current entrance theme, "You're Gonna Pay," and it's Version 2 of the video, since it's better than version 1.
- Be back later, everyone!
