REAL NAME:  MARK SAMUEL BUTWACAWIK

DATE OF BIRTH:  10/12/ (WHATEVER YEAR MAKES ME 32)

MARITAL STATUS:  SINGLE

HEIGHT:  5'-9" (69")
WEIGHT: OVER (LIKE MOST AMERICANS AND COMP NERDS)
CHEST:  69"
WAIST:  69"
SHOE:   N/A (WEARS BOOTS)

HOMETOWN:  HUNGRY, PA.

PROFESSION:  UNEMPLOYED WITH FIXED INCOME FROM THE STATE DPA

INTEREST: DINNING (FINE OR OTHERWISE) 
                    DANCING (SLOW BUT CAN POLKA)
                    READING (KIND THAT YOU COVER IN PAPER BAGS ON THE BUS)

ACTIVITIES:  ALL COUCH ACTIVITIES
                      PLAYING SANTA FOR THE GIRL SCOUTS
                      CROSS DRESSING AS MIMI
                      VISITING WITH DOC PAIN

LIKES:  4F'S (FOOD, FUN, FIGHTING AND FARTING)
            
DISLIKES:  SKINNY NON-SMOKING HUMANS
                  LONG LINES AT DELI COUNTERS
                  CHILDREN TO SMALL TO SEE WHEN     
                  STANDING BY YOUR NAVAL, MIDGETS TOO.
                  KEYBOARDS THAT YOU CAN'T GET THE CRUMBS OUT OF
                  ANYTHING THAT TAKES MORE THEN THREE MINUTES

HIGHLIGHTS IN SLOBBER SLAM:  WHEN WE ALL WENT TO ONE FED AND I GOT TO KICK
                ALL THE OTHER FAT SLAMMERS ASSES!
                GETTING A PROMO MY FIRST MONTH THEN PASSING IT ON TO A VET.

LOW POINT IN SS:  LOSING THE THREE ON ONE RPRW TO SNAKE, WHITEY AND DW
                                   LOSING AT THE FINALS

HIGHLIGHT IN RW:  WINNING THE UT STRAP
                                   HAVING A TITLE NAMED AFTER ME (for a short while)

LOW POINT IN RW:  TRYING TO MAKE A COME BACK... *SIGH*

CAREER HIGHLIGHT
Winning BACK ALLEY BRAWLS
Best on the Web March 2005

SOME BACKGROUND NOTES:

Sam was created for two reasons, I had just retired my main Slammer and my second slammer the original "Fatboy" had to leave because of the Link scandal. This time I stuck to reality and made one in my own image, sounds kinda Biblical Huh? Anyhoo with Sam's luck he landed in the IRWA, yep the CEW proving grounds and with guys like Dozer, Px, Cy, Rex, on and on this did not seem to be an open Fed. However thanks to the IP Stable Sam saw a window of opportunity, a large picture window which on the other side stood a group called the New Movement who ran the Fed. Unopposed they did everything from humiliate the Rookies to book the cards. New Movement was no joke and the leader to this day remains one of if not the most arrogant heels in the game. Yes Dozer that's a compliment even if I don't mention your name.

IP would take them on but IP had internal problems which left Sam basically a one man show. Sam rather then have to admit defeat rallied the troops and started the ISTC, a joke but a joke that worked. In due time the Fed was handed back to the Maddness and the NM? Well............

Sam may have gone to the CEW but already being there (bet you didn't know that) chose to go back to the Fed he started in. Sam under another name was in the iAWO from the start and now the iAWO was going Major, Sam wanted to be there when it became Major so he took his promo to the AWO leaving the IRWA and CEW behind him.

Give credit when credits due, if it had not been for IP, Cy, Px, Grifter and the NM Sam would have probably been deleted. With their help or heat Sam's career began. Sam was one of the very few in old Slobber Slam that generated more then 450+ matches in one month. While most think of guys like Dozer destroying careers, think again ... if I had to give credit to one man for jump starting Sam's career it would be Dozer! I don't .. so I won't, plus his head can't fit thru the doorway now. His head, my ass we kinda look like the figure 8. Nuff about that.

QUESTIONS MOST OFTEN ASKED IN MY EMAIL:

ARE YOU FAT IN RL AND IS THAT YOUR REAL PIC?
YES, SAM IS A NON FICTIONAL CHARACTER.

DO YOU COLLECT WELFARE?
THE STATE I'M IN MAKES YOU WORK IN ORDER TO GET A CHECK, NOW IF
YOU CALL HAVING TO PICK UP THE TRASH IN THE PARK TWO DAYS A WEEK WELFARE...

TWO DAYS A WEEK .. SOUNDS LIKE WELFARE TO ME.
DOGS WALK THE PARK, DOGS SHIT IN THE PARK AND I CAN'T TOUCH MY TOES TO CLEAN MY BOOTS
SEE .....................

OK ... NOW, ARE YOU REALLY A VIRGIN?
AS FAR AS I CAN REMEMBER ALTHOUGH AOD MIGHT THINK OTHER WISE.

HOW CAN A 32 YEAR OLD MAN STILL BE A VIRGIN?
MAYBE I'M A PRIEST.

OR GAY........
A GAY PRIEST, GET REAL.

SO NOW THAT WE KNOW YOU'RE A MEMBER OF THE CLERGY, I'LL ASSUME  THAT FROM
HERE ON IN YOU'LL BE TRUTHFUL WITH YOUR ANSWERS.
ARE YOU IN ANY OTHER FEDS OR ANY OTHER GAMES?

NOPE.

YOU WERE ONE OF THE FIRST IN RW, WHY DID YOU RETIRE?

TRUTHFULLY .. RW IS A GREAT GAME BUT TO ME IT'S A THREE COURSE MEAL AND I'M A BUFFET KINDA GUY.
I LIKE VARITY AND AFTER A MONTH OR TWO IN RW IT BECOMES OLD. PLUS SOME OF THE RULES REALLY SUCK.

VARITY? SOME RULES SUCK?

TOO MANY TWO, THREE AND FOUR CHARACTERS, "SAME OLE, SAME OLE".
I'M A 32 YEAR OLD FAT STUPID SMELLY WHITE MALE VIRGIN AND IF THEY CAN'T POST IN THE REPLY BOX
"YOUR STINKING WHITE FAT LARD ASS SHOULD STICK TO HAND JOBS AND NOT NO-SELL FLASHING.."
KINDA TAKES ALL THE FUN OUT OF THE GAME .. RIGHT?

AND YOU'RE A CLERGYMAN!

THE PRIME EXAMPLE.

RW IS A DIFFERENT GAME WITH A HIGHER TALENT LEVEL, IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU COULDN'T CUT IT.

RW HAS SOME GREAT TALENT, RW LOST SOME EVEN GREATER TALENT. BUT THE GAME I ENJOYED WAS PLAYING WITH PEOPLE LIKE
RATTLESNAKE, WHITEY, DW, PESTI, BWS, PE, GB, POSINUT, ONCEBEATEN, DOC, PROTO, DOZER EVEN THE OLD AYERS AND ON AND ON.
GUEST I COULDN'T CUT IT IN RW. YOU'RE ONLY AS GOOD AS YOUR COMPETITION!

AND WHO TO YOU IS RW'S GREAT TALENT?

I CAN ONLY NAME THOSE I'VE GONE UP AGAINST AS SAM, ACTIVE OR NOT. RF, RB, RAVED, chAos, CHUBBS, OSIRIS, TRIP, GB, HELL I CAN'T REMEMBER THEM ALL, SORRY I KNOW THERE WERE A FEW MORE.

WHAT ABOUT THE FEDS AND THE COMMISSIONERS?

SAM'S ONLY BEEN IN TWO, THE SCIW AND CEW AND BOTH WERE GREAT, GREYGHOST, LAW AND MYTH DID A REAL GREAT JOB EVEN THOUGH THEY ALL HATED ME.

HATED YOU?

YEP. THEY FOUND MY LACK OF TALENT AMUSING AND FORCED ME TO FLASH, GHOST AND LAW EVEN MADE ME DO FULL REWRITES THEN HAD ME WIN SO I'D EMBARRASS MYSELF EVEN MORE.

BUT YOU WON ....

WON .. WON .. I WON, YEA LIKE THE RETARD YOU ASK TO PLAY SOCCER JUST SO YOU CAN SEE HIS CRIPPLED BODY FALLING AROUND IN THE MUD AND STEP ON HIS FACE TO WATCH HIS CROCKED LIPS SPIT OUT GRASS!

ANY ADVISE FOR THOSE WHO ARE JUST STARTING OUT?

ME GIVE ADVISE ??? WELL, IF YOU HAVE KIDS, BEFORE YOU TAKE A DRINK MAKE SURE IT'S LEMONADE AND NOT THE PISS JAR.
CHEW ALL THE CHICKEN BONES THIRTY TIMES BEFORE SWALLOWING.
A "WOODY" IS NOT MADE OF WOOD, KEEP IT OUT OF THE PENCIL SHARPENER.
ALWAYS TURN OFF THE LIGHTS AND LOCK THE BATHROOM DOOR BEFORE HAVING SEX, YOU MAY NOT BE HOME ALONE.
THE CHICKEN CROSSED THE ROAD TO GET SCREWED, THUS THE EGG CAME FIRST.
IN CYBER WRESTLING ALWAYS BE YOURSELF AND NOT SOME PRO-RIPE-OFF.  REMEMBER MOMMY WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BAD THINGS YOU SAY ABOUT HER IN YOU POST, DADDY ON THE OTHER HAND WILL KICK YOUR ASS!

BRIEF STATEMENT:
MY MOM WANTED ME TO BE A PRIEST THEN BECOME POPE
MY FATHER WANTED ME TO PLAY BASEBALL AND BECOME A NOLAN RYAN
I DECIDED TO BE A RINGER AND BECAME .. FATSAM.

ANY QUESTIONS I FORGOT .. HuH .. ?
LET ME KNOW ........................................

My Favorite Web Links

PB&J TIME
AWO Hall of Fame
Pesti's Site
Ring Wars
Holy Evil
Maybelline's Last Good Bye
AY