Mood:  not sure
Been a while since i updated this...

YEsterday i wentn to the U2 concert. I've been banned from XWE but i am still loyal to it, which completly goes against the whole Drifter image i show. I plan on restarting on a laptop i'm going to get, show the real me and hope to god i'm not caught. anyway i have been thinking alot, reading old crap just laughing at one post about the person i admire because that was complete bull now, or seems like it. I was accused of begging to come back to xwe, and of eating, sleeping, and thinking XWE, soo far from the truth. I just wonder if restarting if the right thing. anyway once again more lyrics.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Invisible kid
Never see what he did
Got stuck where he hid
Fallen through the grid

Invisible kid
Got a place of his own
Where he'll never be known
Inward he's grown

Invisible kid
Never see what he did
Got stuck where he hid
Fallen through the grid

Invisible kid
Got a place of his own
Where he'll never be known
Inward he's grown

Invisible kid
Locked away in his brain
From the shame and the pain
World down the drain

Invisible kid
Suspicious of your touch
Don't want no crutch
But it's all too much

Invisible kid
Locked away in his brain
From the shame and the pain
World down the drain

Invisible kid
Suspicious of your touch
Don't want no crutch
But it's all too much

I hide inside, I hurt inside
I hide inside but I'll show you...

I'm OK, just go away
Into distance let me fade
I'm OK, just go away
I'm OK, but please don't stray too far

Open your heart, I'm beating right here
Open your mind, I'm being right here (right now)
Open your heart, I'm beating right here
Open your mind, I'm being right here (right now)

Invisible kid
Never see what he did
Got stuck where he hid
Fallen through the grid

Invisible kid
Got a place of his own
Where he'll never be known
Inward he's grown

Invisible kid
Never see what he did
Got stuck where he hid
Fallen through the grid

Invisible kid
Got a place of his own
Where he'll never be known
Inward he's grown

I hide inside, I hurt inside
I hide inside but I'll show you...

I'm OK, just go away
Into distance let me fade
I'm OK, (I'm OK) just go away
I'm OK, (I'm OK) but please don't stray too far

Open your heart, I'm beating right here
Open your mind, I'm being right here (right now)
Open your heart, I'm beating right here
Open your mind, I'm being right here (right now)

Ooh, what a good boy you are
Out of the way and you're kept to yourself
Ooh, can't you see that he's not here
He doesn't want the attention you give
Ooh, unplugging from it all
Invisible kid floats alone in his room
Ooh, what a quiet boy you are
He looks so calm floating 'round and around in himself

Invisible kid
Locked away in his brain
From the shame and the pain
World down the drain

Invisible kid
Suspicious of your touch
Don't want no crutch
But it's all too much

Invisible kid
Locked away in his brain
From the shame and the pain
World down the drain

Invisible kid
Suspicious of your touch
Don't want no crutch
But it's all too much

I hide inside, I hurt inside
I hide inside but I'll show you...

I'm OK, just go away
Into distance let me fade
I'm OK, (I'm OK) just go away
I'm OK, (I'm OK) but please don't stray too far

Open your heart, I'm beating right here
Open your mind, I'm being right here (right now)
Open your heart, I'm beating right here
Open your mind, I'm being right here (right now)

Mood:  surprised
1st day of counseling*thrills*

I have been thinking about someone i like, i miss him.

these are some lyrics to a song that i like and kinda fits this.

~~~~~~~~~

You treat me like I’m a princess
I’m not used to liking that
You ask how my day was

(chorus)
You’ve already won me over in spite of me
Don’t be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don’t be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn’t help it
It’s all your fault

Your love is think and it swallowed me whole
You’re so much braver than I gave you credit for
That’s not lip service

(repeat chorus)

You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience

You’re the best listener that I’ve ever met
You’re my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long

I’ve never felt this healthy before
I’ve never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now

Mood:  don't ask
My trust is worn thjin and i'm becoming a jerk. nice eh? I wouild change myself if i could and i have tried but i just can't because the real me is gone somewhere.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Separated from the rest
Constantly trying my best
To fit in and belong
I mine as well give up
Give up on my hopes and dreams
I feel like I outta scream
The fence ‘round my school reminds me so much
They are trying to cage me up
But one the animal will escape its cage
And all the anger and rage will take center stage
Time for me to put up or shut up
Cuz this is my only opportunity
To make people see
The fire behing my blue eyes
Maybe one day they’ll recognize

Mood:  on fire
Well once again someone used the word or the essence of the word that every fearful memory i have exists in. People say i'm out of it but do they know me? I know some of it's me but if they could just understand.

I am continually thinking about my best friend, this kinda applies.
~~~~~~~

There's always that one person
that will always have your heart
You never see it coming cause
you're blinded from the start
Know that you're that one for me,
it's clear for everyone to see
Ooh baby, you will always be my boo

These lyrics just spoke to me.

~~~~~~~~~~

One thing, I don’t know why
It doesn’t even mather how hard you try
Keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme
To remind myself
How I tried so hard...
Dispite the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I’m surprised it got so far
Things aren’t the way they were before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end...

Mood:  not sure
Day 2 of entries. Well I'm starting to question myself alot. No one seems to get it, but it's kinda my fault cuz I don't like to talk about it. Sometimes I wish I was like the person I admire, I mean the person is pretty headstrong but she has herself together and doesn't take crap like I do. She's respected too...In a way I envy her....*Note to self hide this entry if she is ever given the link!*. Anyway, I think if people could just understand even a bit about me they'd get me. I decided to close this entry with part of the lyrics from "Somewhere Out There" by Our Lady Peace

~~~~~

Last time I talked to you,
you were lonely and out of place.
You were looking down on me,
lost out in space.
Laid underneath the stars,
strung out and feeling brave.
Watch the red orange glow,
watch them float away.
Down here in the atmosphere,
garbage and city lights,
you gotta save your tired soul,
you gotta save our lives.
Turn on the radio,
to find you on satellite,
I'm waiting for the sky to fall,
I'm waiting for a sign.
All we are is all so far.
You're falling back to me,
the star that I can't see.
I know you're out there,
somewhere out there.
You're falling out of reach,
defying gravity,
I know you're out there,
somewhere out there.
Hope you remember me,
when you're homesick and need a change.

Mood:  don't ask
If you are reading this this means i trust you enough to give you this link. Latly i've been out there and i'm kinda down. I like to end each entry w/ a poem about w/e i fell like.

~~~~~~~~~~

No on really knows me at all
Some say the know me but they have only seen me fall
If someone could just find the real me
They would know what lies behind my blue eyes
Sometimes I fell like I’m losing control
Like my soul is being eaten alive
Some don’t realize how I really am
One day it’ll be wham
They’ll recognize why I am so weird
But until then I’
I’ll take it all alone
On my own
They see me as just a kid
Well there is more than meets the eye
I hope one day they’ll recognize….