{{ Scene opens with an image of a dirt trail leading up to a large mansion.  Cars are everywhere over this property as the camera zooms in, slowly.  It fades into another picture of the front door of this home.  The door cracks open and slowly creaks continually, inviting the camera inside.  The camera steps in to the sounds of loud moaning.  A persistent scream is heard following a few moans.  A loud, continuous pounding is heard as the camera turns a corner.  A room full of people are staring over at the other side of a couch as cameras are seen in three corners of the room.  A voice interrupts the noises }}

Man in a Chair - Alright, cut.. nice work..

{{ A familiar face emerges from behind the couch }}

Brock Williams - Are you kidding me?  I was, like.. five seconds away..

Man in a Chair - Sorry, Brock..

Brock Williams - That hurts, man.  That really hurts..

Man in a Chair - I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.. I just got the shot we needed.. we were done..

Brock Williams - NO.. I mean my balls.. they really hurt.. severe case of blue balls, dude.. and guess whose shoulders this is on?

Man in a Chair - Your meager porn career?

Brock Williams - No, bucko.. guess again..

Man in a Chair - I don't have time for games..

Brock Williams - Well, then quit playing games with my heart..

Man in a Chair - ... I apologize..

Brock Williams - Ah.. I can't even look at 'em.. it's like.. the two newest members of  the Blue Man Group.. better make room in the Pentium 5 commercial.. ah.. ow.. porn.. gimme porn.. I'll be on the toilet, just slide it under the door..

{{ A woman wraps Brock in a towel as he stands up }}

The Agent - Brock.. get some work out clothes on.. your personal trainer will be here in half an hour..

Brock Williams - ... nevermind.  That did it.. there's nothing that puts me out of the mood more than effort..

The Agent - Hopefully that will change..

Brock Williams - Do I really have to work out?  Couldn't I just.. cheat or something..

The Agent - Brock, you accepted the WWC invitation.. now you have to do the work..

Brock Williams - Can't I pay someone to do the work for me?

The Agent - That doesn't work.. you're ten pounds overweight..

Brock Williams - LIPOSUCTION!

The Agent - .. Brock..

Brock Williams - Fine, fine.. breast reduction..

The Agent - .. are you kidding?

Brock Williams - Great idea, huh?

The Agent - No..

Brock Williams - I bet people thought Christopher Columbo was called stupid for his round theory, too!

The Agent - Yes.. Christopher COLUMBUS was..

Brock Williams - Oh really?  Were you, like.. friends or something? 

The Agent - No..

Brock Williams - Didn't think so..

The Agent - It's part of history, Brock..

Brock Williams - So is this conversation..

The Agent - What?

Brock Williams - You like how I switched it on you?  I've evolved..

The Agent - Right, Brock..

Brock Williams - To the gym, Robin!

{{ Batman spin down and spin out with the scene inside of a gym.  Brock is doing a handstand }}

Trainer - What are you doing?

Brock Williams - Oh.. hey.. I figured I'd get a head start..

Trainer - What?

Brock Williams - On losing the weight..

Trainer - You're doing a handstand..

Brock Williams - I didn't think I could do one, either.. pretty impressive, huh?

Trainer - You COULD say impressive..

Brock Williams - And I did..

Trainer - Alright, well, Brock -- a handstand isn't going to help you lose ten pounds..

Brock Williams - Oh.. and I'm sure you have a BETTER idea?

Trainer - ... well.. that's why you paid me..

Brock Williams - Let's hear it, hot shot.. huh?  Whatcha got?

Trainer - Well, I was planning on starting with a little treadmill work..

Brock Williams - PFFT!  What a horrible idea.. sounds like an idea a LOSER would think up..

Trainer - That's uncalled for..

Brock Williams - Next thing ya know we'll be doing squats..

Trainer - That's what I had planned..

Brock Williams - FAT CHANCE, POOTY POO..

Trainer - If you want to lose that weight, you have got to work..

Brock Williams - NO..

Trainer - ... I'm afraid yes..

Brock Williams - Don't tell me what to do..

Trainer - I'm not.. I'm telling you what you should do..

Brock Williams - Oh.. like my mommy?

Trainer - What?

Brock Williams - You think you're my mommy?

Trainer - Of course not.. I just think --

Brock Williams - Get out of my sight..

Trainer - But--

Brock Williams - Leave the butts to me.. you leave..

Trainer - You hired me to help you lose weight..

Brock Williams - I did?

Trainer - Yes, Brock..

Brock Williams - I'll come up with a better idea..

{{ The trainer angrily storms out of the room, slamming the door behind him.  The door quickly opens back up to show a small man trotting into the room }}

Pimp Midge - What up what up..

Brock Williams - WORD UP!

Pimp Midge - What's the need, homie g?

Brock Williams - I need to lose ten pounds, P-Mizzle..

Pimp Midge - Simple, my pimple..

Brock Williams - That makes no sense..

Pimp Midge - It's how I was made..

Brock Williams - What?

Pimp Midge - I'm trying, Brock.. I'm trying..

Brock Williams - Give me something easy to do..

Pimp Midge - I was watching Peter Pan the other day and he got rid of his shadow.. that has to weigh.. what.. at least ten..

Brock Williams - Midge..

Pimp Midge - What?

Brock Williams - ... that has to be the most brilliant plan I've ever heard..

Pimp Midge - My momma always said my brain went all the way to my package..

Brock Williams - What does that mean?

Pimp Midge - Ya'know... that's a good question..

Brock Williams - Duh.. I asked it..

Pimp Midge - WORD..

Brock Williams - WORD UP!

Pimp Midge - WORD WAY WAY UP, JIGGA..

Brock Williams - So losing your shadow can't be TOO hard, right?

Pimp Midge - I wouldn't think so..

Brock Williams - TO THE FRONT, ROBIN!

{{ Batman spin in and out with an image of Midge and Brock standing on a street }}

Brock Williams - Alright.. there it is.. stand on it and I'll take off running.. no way can it catch me..

Pimp Midge - Word.. I'm on it..

{{ Brock turns and starts to run away.  Midge sees the shadow go with Brock and Midge runs after it.  Diving every few steps }}

Brock Williams - GET IT!

Pimp Midge - I'M TRYING!

Brock Williams - GO AWAY SHADOW! 

Pimp Midge - Stop.. stop.. he's too fast..

Brock Williams - Damnit..

Pimp Midge - What else can we do?

Brock Williams - I don't know.. oh no..

Pimp Midge - What? 

Pimp Midge - Oh no..

Brock Williams - I have another shadow.. and this one is wearing clothes, Midge.. I had to have gained at least ten more pounds with this..

Pimp Midge - Oh no..

Brock Williams - I'm gonna be in so much trouble!

Pimp Midge - Oh no..

Brock Williams - Your panicking isn't helping me, Midge..

Pimp Midge - I'm sorry..

Brock Williams - Will you ask him to go away?

Pimp Midge - Which shadow? 

Brock Williams - The one with the hat..

Pimp Midge - I'll see what I can do..

Brock Williams - You're the best..

{{ Midge moves over towards the black man }}

Pimp Midge - Excuse me.. um.. I was just curious, is there any way you could leave Brock alone?  He's trying to lose weight and you're just.. extra.. weight, you know what I mean?

Brock Williams - Tell him Peter Pan lost his shadow..

Pimp Midge - Yeah.. Peter Pan needs a shadow..

Black Man - What you talkin bout?

Pimp Midge - HE SPEAKS!

Brock Williams - Careful, Midge.. don't anger the shadow..

Pimp Midge - I come in peace..

Black Man - What you talkin bout?

Brock Williams - He understands!

Pimp Midge - If we walk away.. will you just.. allow us to leave, sir? 

Black Man - You crazy..

Pimp Midge - No no.. we'll just walk away.. and you stay here.. okay?

Brock Williams - Yeah.. we're walking away now..

Pimp Midge - Walking..

{{ Brock slowly walks and Midge slowly follows.  As soon as Brock gets a few steps away, he takes off running and Midge struggles to keep up }}

Pimp Midge - You lost him!  Slow down..

Brock Williams - I did?  I DID!  YES!  I LOST TEN POUNDS!

Pimp Midge - The other one is still there..

Brock Williams - DAMNIT!

Pimp Midge - It's okay..

Brock Williams - I have to have this weight lost by nightfall or else I'm in trouble..

Pimp Midge - The suns going down already, Brock.. we're in trouble..

Brock Williams - Trouble isn't even the half of it..

Pimp Midge - You're right.. it's the all of it..

Brock Williams - Word up!

Pimp Midge - Word WAY up..

Brock Williams - I give up, Midge... it's hopeless..

{{ Brock slumps down into a sitting position against the wall }}

Pimp Midge - It's okay, Brock..

Brock Williams - I'm never gonna lose my shadow..

Pimp Midge - Wait.. Brock..

Brock Williams - What?

Pimp Midge - Look..

Brock Williams - Wha.. oh my goodness..

{{ The sun has set over several buildings, casting a large enough shadow to leave Brock without a shadow }}

Pimp Midge - It's gone..

Brock Williams - Do you know what this means?

Pimp Midge - You lost your shadow?

Brock Williams - NO!  If you quit, you win!

Pimp Midge - What?

Brock Williams - Quitters win!

Pimp Midge - My God.. you're RIGHT!

Brock Williams - I'm right.. I know it.. I'm right.. uh uh.. I'm right.. I know it..

Pimp Midge - Word up..

Brock Williams - I'm ready, Midge..

Pimp Midge - Ready for WWC?

Brock Williams - Oh yes.. more ready than freshly popped popcorn..

Pimp Midge - ........

Brock Williams - Oh yeah..

Pimp Midge - Oh yeah!

{{ Cell phone ring is heard and Brock whips his phone out of his pocket.  He pulls it to his ear }}

Brock Williams - A-lo?

The Agent -  Brock..

Brock Williams - That's my name, don't wear it out..

The Agent -  Original..

Brock Williams - Nah.. I saw it on Pee Wee..

The Agent -  I know.. alright, well we have you and Marcus T in the first round at WWC..

Brock Williams - WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT THAT!  THAT IS SO WEIRD!

The Agent -  ..... yeah..

Brock Williams - It's like.. we have a special mental connection and you can read my mind..

The Agent -  Wow.. uh.. maybe so..

Brock Williams - Marcus T..

The Agent -  Right.. Bad Boy..

Brock Williams - Oh no.. Bad Boy for life?

The Agent -  I guess..

Brock Williams - Does that mean he ain't.. GO-IN no where?  He ain't.. goin no where..

The Agent -  I don't know, Brock..

Brock Williams - He can't be stopped now!

The Agent -  Why?

Brock Williams - Cuz he's bad boy for life..

The Agent -  That's a song..

Brock Williams - So is Bennie and the Jets, but Elton speaks the truth!

Pimp Midge - Word up!

Brock Williams - Word up!

The Agent -  You really are a jackass.. did you lose that weight yet?

Brock Williams - Oh hell yeah..

The Agent -  What?  You didn't have surgery did you?

Brock Williams - It wasn't needed.. I worked really hard and got it lost, brotha-man..

The Agent -  ....... I'll believe it when I see it. 

Brock Williams - I can't wait.. okay.. love you..

{{ Click }}

Brock Williams - Hello? 

Pimp Midge - Where'd he go?

Brock Williams - He must have lost his connection..

Pimp Midge - He must be on the Cingular plan..

Brock Williams - Word up..

Pimp Midge - What'd he say..

Brock Williams - I gotta take on a bad boy..

Pimp Midge - Kobe Bryant?

Brock Williams - No.. Marcus T, jigga..

Pimp Midge - BOOO!

Brock Williams - Yeah.. I'm in trouble.. I got tricked into joining WWC and now I get to be clobbered by the biggest and the baddest in the biz.  I think I have a game plan, though.  A very carefully devised plan.  Where I win, I think.  How about this.  I'll stand in the ring and dance to some 50 Cent.. then Marcus T will want to light up some weed.. and then I can have him arrested.  WAIT NO!  I could go talk to P-Diddy and tell him I'll run the New York Marathon for him if I can be in the bad boy family.. they never fight each other.  No wait.. that means I'll have to work.  DAMNIT!  I'm at a dead end, Midge.. I'm going to have to focus.. okay.. you used to be the man, Brock.  You were a champion.. just think what made you win.  Just think.. wait.. I had a lucky sock.. wait.. no.. I didn't.  Alright.. I guess I'll try that confidence thing.  Confidence.  Marcus T.. you.. you are gonna lose to me on Satur-- DAMN.. I'm rustier than an ancient dildo.  Look, T.. I don't know if you know me, but.. I think that you should let me win because I would really represent WWC well in round two.  I am a solid human being and I stand up for animal rights.  I have a special part in my heart for your ancestors, the african apes, and I will do all I can to protect their jungle.. I saw an ape at the zoo the other day and it looked so lonely.  It was in New York, so maybe it was a relative of yours.. the point is, if you let me into round two.. I will use that power to free all apes being held hostage.  I thought we learned our lesson during the race riots.. Jim Crowe laws are no longer in effect and people need to know this.  I will do everything I can to push for equal rights.  Not just for you, but for your ape mother and father.  You can call me and we can talk about it or we can just talk about it next weekend.  It doesn't matter to me, man.  Just know that you and me are tight like a Brett Favre spiral.. Ape rights for all..

Pimp Midge - That's intense..

Brock Williams - I'll do whatever it takes..

Pimp Midge - That's real big of you..

Brock Williams - I'm a big man..

Pimp Midge - Too bad you're not a bad boy..

Brock Williams - Maybe Marcus T will put in a good word with Diddy for me..

Pimp Midge - Yeah.. cuz Diddy runs that city..

Brock Williams - No doubt about that.  I could be his right hand man.  In charge of equal rights.  I'm very emotionally driven.  And I always find a way to win.  And Diddy, I'll do that at WWC.. I promise.  Marcus T.. if you think you can beat me.. you're right.. but that's besides the point.  If you give me a chance, I promise I'll win.. oh yeah.. I will win.. if you give me a chance.. I'll beat you worse than Rodney King.. and that ain't a promise.. it's a guaran.. DAMN.. tee....  no offense..

{{ Midge shrugs and puts his hand on the back of Brock's leg -- that's as high as he can reach, folks.  Brock turns and begins walking down the sidewalk as the camera scans over towards a building with an orange sunset streaming over the top of it.  The camera fades out to black }}

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