(The pitch dark screen doesn’t allow the scene waiting behind it to show, it just leaves the sound of laughter bellowing through the black of the viewers set, the laughter a rare occurrence from a man normally so determined and angry, a man usually so hard and mean, it is a rare sight that few have ever seen, a sight now that the world would now be witnessing once more as the darkness disappears and is slowly faded to a hotel room, two large bags are lying across the floor, obviously full to the brim, and the large double bed is untouched and well made, the furniture is expensive and modern, Claire is seen standing in the door way confused as to what Weapon is so amused by, she looks at the laughing Assassin as he creases into tears of laughter on the bed, before looking at the screen and smiling herself trying to hold back the laughter knowing it would only cause Weapon to laugh harder.
She shakes her head in amusement as Weapon sits back up still holding his stomach, the laughter becoming painful; he rewinds the tape and listens again.

Before breaking into laughter once more, he manages to hold back his humorous and thunderous laugh and turns to Claire, working hard not to start up again.)

Weapon:
Oh man, I have to reply to this! Haha! Girl could you set up the camera and tripod for me, this is brilliant stuff, so much so I am going to work through this bit by bit! Haha!

(Claire opens one of the bags and lifts out a folded in tripod, she stands it at the far end of the room and then takes a out a camera and places it on top, before pressing the record button beginning the interview, she smiles at Weapon who changes video tapes in the video player and looks at the camera.)

Weapon:
Ok, ok, well there seems to be a lot of words and speeches made toward me, and toward the things I have said, so first of all, before we enjoy this great piece of comedy, by the rookie piece of shit Xtasy let me explain the situation at hand.
You see, Sunstroke is this week, the first ever Pay Per View for Lethal Weapon and Claire and probably the biggest match here so far, a MSK Kennel from hell match against The Hardcore Champion Leech, the MSK members 6 Pac and Romeo, a rookie arse piece of shit Xtasy, even a dumb ass wannabe Canadian hero! I mean come on, what’s that aboot! Everyone knows I am the Canadian hero, the American Hero, and whatever other type of hero there is, hell I am bigger then superman. However the list of wannabes does not end at just Xtasy and Canadian Hero, oh no, the CWA has decided to add more torture to the appearance of such a spectacular match up and placed a man called ‘moose’ in the cell… So ok, Moose, I am the type of guy not normally bothered by names, they do not affect a match, but you have to sit and seriously consider the mind and thinking of your opponent when he names himself after an animal as ugly and as thick as the shit that Hardcore Champion Leech constantly bombs on about.
Then to finish the pack off, a man that I beat in my very first match up in the CWA and a guy that has, to be honest, unlike the rest, proved himself in the CWA and gone on to challenge some top names, Freak himself, a strange deranged type of man, but a guy with a lot of potential and talent, ok, so that’s the situation at hand.
Now during the time this match was made and the promos started going up, I am amazed at some of the crap I have seen being passed around, I mean not only does out World Heavyweight Champion Dizz talk shit to school kids, but our Hardcore champ talks shit to EVERYBODY, he tries to impress people by showing up other peoples words and understanding, he tries to gain his talent and charisma from trying to be the funny man that everyone loves, when truth be told, he is a pathetic weed, cheered as the fans are in need of something to do.
Now Leech, as much as you have said about me recently, I am not going to start with you, instead I am going to sit and take apart Xtasy’s Promo, explaining to him, why what this stupid rookie arse said is no more then a bunch of crap typical of the words spoken by a inexperienced punk with no idea of his opponents talents or strengths.

(He picks up the control and presses play on the tape starting Xtasy’s interview, he is smiling knowing what is coming and what the rookie has let himself in for. He turns the volume up as Xtasy can be heard through the television.

“I’m looking forward to this match, it will be like I have the home field advantage, ya see I look into this match and I see a lot of competitors. Top class competitors like Leech, Lethal Weapon and The Moose, but I also see a lot of bastards, people like 6Pac Dudley and Romeo Salvador.”

Weapon pauses the tape and smiles, he rubs his chin and looks around at the camera, his grin a sight worth seeing, the humorous expression making him look much more attractive and a lot more warm, rather then his normal, angry expression.)

Weapon:
Ok Xtasy, this is the point where you begin to sign your own death certificate, how I hear you ask? Well you will find out, however as I watched this, I thought, ok this guy has some respect for me, for my achievements, he can see I am no pushover…However you continued.

(He plays the tape again forwarding it past most of the comments about other wrestlers, stopping it just before the comments about himself, he smiles widely as the Rookie continues to dig his grave, then Weapons point is made as he again turns the volume back up.

“And last but not…actually they probably are least, the 2 squabbling bitches. Romeo Salvador and Lethal Weapon.”

He pauses the tape quickly not daring to miss anymore of this impressive display from the young star and laughs out loud as he again hears the comment, even Claire laugh realising what Weapon has noticed before continuing to unpack there stuff.)

Weapon:
Ok, ok, now Xtasy, you can be let off for making such a silly mistake, I mean after all, you are new to the game as well as having a lower IQ then that dumb ass 6 Pac, so I am going to give you a little slack for that comment and move on to the next mistake.

Claire:
Really, remember what’s on the line here? The Hardcore title, if he were worthy of being let off, surely he wouldn’t be in the match?

(Weapon considers this for a minute, she has a point, a big time event, some of the proven hardcore wrestlers and in that mix is a rookie named Xtasy, he must have impressed the management somehow, maybe those blowjobs lessons Moose was given him actually paid off, and was the rumour true he actually practised on Dizz! Weapon shook the horrid thought from his mind and turned back to the camera considering Claire’s words.)

Weapon:
It seems my girlfriend has a point, so it seems you are not a lucky man, now going back to that comment, and I quote;

““And last but not…actually they probably are least, the 2 squabbling bitches. Romeo Salvador and Lethal Weapon.”

You earlier mentioned how I was a big star and then just minutes later you are saying I am the least worrying of the men in the hardcore match up at Sunstroke…Is it me, or is that a complete contradiction in terms?
So Xtasy, am I an un-intimidating, pre occupied nobody? Or am I a big star that has a feud, to deal with while destroying whoever else stands before me? Hmmm…. I wonder?

Now Xtasy, this was just the beginning of your grave digging, and your mouth didn’t stop shovelling there, no, shall we continue?

(The tape is played again and left to run at full volume as Xtasy continues.

“It looks as if these 2 bitches are gonna be so preoccupied with each other that none of the other guys will need to worry. Getting caught up in their little fight is not something I see as desirable, cause to be honest I think those 2 lost my interest a long time ago.”

Weapon is still smiling, but decides to take this sentence a little more seriously as Claire now listens to what has to be said carefully.)

Weapon:
Right…So Xtasy, you wished to continue this talk about me and Romeo, ok well fair enough, lets continue…and I actually think for the first time in four years me and Romeo are going to agree on something.
That something being that over the years we have come across these no good rookies time and time again, that get themselves into situations they can’t handle, much like you have, they sit there and talk the trash and bitch with the best of them, then when they get in that ring, they make a huge rookie mistake and get pulverised in the squared circle, just as Xtasy will at Sunstroke.
You see new boy, your biggest mistake in wrestling, is to underestimate your opponents ability, to think your opponent is going to be easier to beat then he actually is, and sitting there talking trash about how me and Romeo will be concentrating on each other so much, that you and the rest don’t have to worry is exactly what I mean.
You see, I have made it clear, Romeo is my main target, the man I want to destroy, and the man I want to beat down, but that sure as hell does not mean, you are not to worry, I am known as the human wrecking machine, you wanna know why?
No.
Well tough, I am gonna tell ya, I earned the name, I was rewarded with the damn name, because time and time again, no matter what I had on my back, no matter what I had in my life, no matter how pissed of I was, I took out ALL who stood in my way…I destroyed ALL that stood before me…Just as I will at Sunstroke, so Xtasy, sit there in your hotel room, or in your gym, and continue not to worry, please, I am begging of you, continue to underestimate me, because when Sunstroke comes and you are destroyed like the list of wrestlers and rookies before you, you’ll re-consider EVER being so quick to make false, and careless assumptions. Now if that wasn’t enough stupidity from one person, your crap continued.

(Weapon turns back to the telly and continues, Claire breaks out in laughter as she listens to the crap coming out of Xtasys mouth once more! Weapon begins laughing as well.

“I managed to sit through all of Lethal Weapons promo but I’ll admit that at times my eyes did start to close, as soon as I heard my name mentioned I snapped back to life again. Unfortunately all Weapon had to say was that I was too pussy to be in the match…unfortunately for him that is. Ya see Lethal Weapon, the fact that I wasn’t in this match for the first few hours was a simple mistake on Shannon’s part.”

He pauses the video again and begins shaking his head while looking at the ground, he cant help but sigh a frown at the camera as a sign of his disappointment in the pathetic attempts to bring down Weapons name, he laughs a little more before talking to the camera again.)

Weapon:
Ok, now Xtasy, after your contradiction, then your lame ass assumption, I was never expecting to hear anything more stupid, at least not in one go, it had been far from my mind that any idiot could make three huge mistakes all in one promo, but you proved to me that you were the sort of guy that wouldn’t even be able to become successful, even if I trained you!
You begun talking about typical rookie subjects, the length of a promo or as Freak did once before my name, or some other irrelevant crap, ha, I mean come on, is it that hard to put me down dumb ass that you have to use the length of my promos against me?
Understand this, if you are the type of guy that is happy saying your shit and leaving, that’s fine, that’s how you work, and being your new, your promos are unlikely to be long, you see where as you have a future to build and a past to recollect on, I have already done that, I have already established myself in this business and proven my worth as a big time player.
So as for my promos being long, yeah, I agree they can drag, but thing is, I have things to talk about, I don’t ask you to sit and watch the whole thing, but in a part of you something drives you to do so, something urges you to wait for the mention of your name, if I am wrong then shall I rewind your previous comment? You see, my promos may be long, but they grab people’s attention, they urge people to listen, and it’s only those dedicated enough to watch them all and listen carefully. Now Xtasy don’t get me wrong, I am not calling you dedicated, oh hell no, you see you forgot to listen carefully and bitched like a typical stereotype new guy trying to chew more then he can swallow!
You see boy, my promos have a lot of meaning, a lot of history, when I talk, I talk from experience, I talk from the heart, I don’t talk with my balls, I talk with my desire, I don’t speak with my ego, I speak with my dream, when you have done eight years of work in this industry you will look back on this and know exactly what I mean.

Now Xtasy I was originally going to stop here, but as we have your tape at the ready, why don’t we carry on?

(Weapon smiles again and plays the tape letting it carry on further, he smiles as Xtasy continues. To talk, knowing he had already pulled the poor new guy apart, he considered stopping and moving onto Leech, but something drove him to continue.

“Now you have also made a mistake, nerves are nothing for me Lethal Weapon, so don’t you ever accuse me of being scared to do anything again! The only thing I get scared of is when I tape one of your promo’s and I have to sit through that drivel for 30 plus minutes, now that is a scary thought. So you can just continue your petty quarrel with Romeo as I pin someone’s ass behind you this Sunday.”

He laughs out loud and turns back to the camera.)

Weapon:
Ok, Ok, Now Xtasy, this is the part where you become desperate to try and compete with words against me, you see, you mention how I accused you of being scared, well, your right, I did…Oh Well. Haha. However just because you have somehow wrangled your way back into the match since my comments and blamed it on a mistake by Shannon Skanes, don’t think for one second, I am stupid enough to believe it.
You see, this is a big match, even for the likes of me and Leech, your participation is simply to build the numbers and give the fans an underdog to cheer for…Everyone loves a wildcard Xtasy, and it just so happens to be you, congratulations.
However, it is still obvious you are scared of the match up, the fear was obvious in your damn voice, you were near enough stuttering! I mean come on Xtasy, there’s no reason to hide you’re a pussy shit, we are all ready aware of it, we all saw how you became so offended by the truth and how quickly you become defensive over your fear of this big match.
However, I am not the bully type, and I am not going to carry on about your fears, I just think you should be more honest…Or maybe your telling your truth and your not scared of the match, maybe your scared of me…Wouldn’t surprise me, however, I will move on.

(He smiles at the TV before turning to Claire and sharing a quick kiss, he presses play on the television and continues to watch.

“So Romeo, you just keep jogging around and Weapon can keep telling everyone what he did in the nineteen eighties and I think I will be just fine in this match actually.”

Weapon breathes out in a breath of laughter as he watches the last chosen segment of the Xtasy promo, he shakes his head again and smiles once more at the camera.)

Weapon:
Ok, so before you finished on me, you had to make one last huge mistake didn’t ya? You had to do one more stupid thing and talk one more piece of complete crap, ha, ok well lets analyse this for a minute.
You had been talking trash about my promo length all the way through and then you thought you would take a pop at the experience that has earnt me the right to have the damn TV time ha, yeah ok, you wanna try and get a crack out of mentioning Lethal Weapon was a hit in the eighties, ha, Hey Xtasy can you count? 8 years you stupid piece of crap…2003 take away 8, is…Still not got it dumb ass…1995, mid nineties, nothing to do with the eighties, you wanna know that far back maybe ask Cell Block, seems to me that old piece of crap goes back longer then even I thought!
And then on top of your cheap pop, you make another bad assumption and I quote once more;
“And I think I will be just fine in this match actually.”

Well, that’s nice, really it is, ha, you think a cage, 15 lumberjacks, a cell, electric currents, and 6 other men in the ring is a normal every day bout, you think you are going to be ‘fine!’ we will see Xtasy, we will see, if I have anything to do with it…I doubt that very much so.

(Weapon takes the tape out of the recorder and replaces it with a Leech Video, he is about to press play then stops and looks at the camera, deep in thought, he smiles and grabs a beer from the side in front of him.)

Weapon:
Well after complaints that my promos are to long for less talented no good wannabes like the men I fight at Sunstroke, we will end this promo for a short commercial before returning to enjoy the work performed for us by Leech!

********************* Commercial *************************************