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~You are listening to "I'm With Stupid" by Static X~


The scene opens to Confusion's mansion in New York City. It is 7:00 in the morning and Confusion is sleeping still. All of a sudden the phone rings and Confusion jumps out of bed. He walks over to the counter and picks up the phone. Confusion starts talking and is half asleep.

Voice: Hey Confusion, I'm from MTV Cribs and I was wondering if you wanted to be on our show today.

Confusion: Yeah, yeah sure. What time?

Voice: We will be stopping over at 3:00 pm today! Make sure your house is ready by then.

Confusion: Alright, I'll see you then.

Confusion hangs up the phone and falls right back asleep. He dreams about the PPV and then wakes up from a nightmare an hour later. Confusion was dreaming about his match at the PPV and then he thought about how badly he could get hurt if he lost. Even if he did win the Lord of the Ring match could hurt him too. Confusion has one weak spot that he has had problems with in the past and that is his back. If anyone hurts his back then Confusion could be in big trouble. Confusion snaps out of it and realizes that he is having MTV Cribs come to his house today. Confusion jumps up and gets ready very quickly. He dials the number for his butler and tells him to quickly send a maid service up to his house. Confusion needs it clean for the show and then realizes that he needs his cars washed too! Confusion tells the butler to send somebody to wash all of his cars. A half an hour later all of the maids are at his house busily working.

Confusion: Now let's see the house is being cleaned and........WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR? I haven't thought about that and it is already 10:00! Should I get a hair cut? Wear a throwback jersey? AHH I don't know! I need to go shopping!

Confusion is very confused. He has no clue what to wear so he decides to go shopping. He calls his limo driver and heads to the store. First he needs some necklaces so Confusion heads to the jewelry store.

Confusion: Ok I need a gold chain with a diamond engraved "?". I need it by two o'clock this afternoon!

Jeweler: Ok that will be hard but I can have it done by then. It will be $50,00 for it will you pay that in cash or check?

Confusion: Here you go it is all in cash!

Confusion hands the jeweler a large stack of money and then smiles. Confusion walks out of the jewelry store very happily and gets into his limo. The next stop for Confusion is a place to get some clothes. Confusion decides to get a custom made Chargers Throwback Jersey with number 25 and Confusion on the back. It costs $300 because it is customized. Confusion pays for the jersey and then walks out of the store. Confusion heads back to his limo and starts to talk to his driver.

Confusion: Man this is the best day ever! I am going to look so good on MTV with my gold chain, chargers jersey, and new jeans. Wait! I didn't get new jeans yet! I better hurry up and get them.

Confusion runs back into the store and picks up the most expensive pair of jeans and quickly pays for it. He runs back to his limo and heads back to the jewelry store. The necklace isn't done yet but Confusion still wants to look around at all of the other things. He sees a nice watch with diamonds all around the edges. Confusion decides to buy that along with some diamond rings. Finally Confusion's necklace is finished. He pays for all of the things and thanks the jeweler. Confusion heads back to his limo with all of the things in his back seat. Confusion forgot about shoes and heads to footlocker. He sees the newest Iverson shoes and wants to buy them. They are white and red with the Iverson logo on it. Now that Confusion has completed his wardrobe for the afternoon he can return home.

Confusion: What time is it?

Driver: I think it is 2:00!

Confusion: Then we need to hurry up! I have to get ready still! The house better be clean!

Driver: Ok, I'll get there as soon as I can.

The limo speeds back to Confusion's mansion where the maid are finishing with his house and now are all leaving. Confusion walks in the door and doesn't even recognize the place. He can see himself in the floor and the whole house is spotless. All of his cars outside have been washed and waxed. The place looks great! Confusion runs into his bedroom and gets changed into his new clothes. When Confusion walks out he looks like a big time celebrity with all of the diamonds and NFL jersey. Everyone on MTV should be very impressed with Confusion and how the place looks. Confusion waits nervously on the couch for the MTV Cribs crew to arrive. There is a faint knock on the door. Confusion runs and opens it

Man: Hi i'm the camera man for MTV Cribs are you ready?

Confusion: OH YEAH! Let’s start as soon as possible.

Camera Man: Ok we'll start in 5.....4.....3....2....1

Confusion: Hey everybody, I'm Confusion, an XWF wrestler and I am here today to show you my crib!

Alright as you walk into my house you see this entry way. All over the walls are some paintings I got made of myself and family. These are very important to me because right now I only have one family member (that I know is alive) and he is my brother. Over there to the left you can see the stairs but I'm not going to take you up there quite yet.

As you walk down this hallway you will see the kitchen. I spend a lot of my time in here eating food. Lets go see what we have here.

Confusion opens the fridge

Confusion: As you can see I have some Gatorade and lots of pop. There are some steaks in here when I want to grill outside and there's some ice cream in the freezer. I always make sure to have some Cookies N' Cream ice cream in there. Well over here is where all of my junk food is and as you can see I am loaded with chips and candy of all kinds. That is about it for the kitchen now we can head to the living room.

This is where I spend most of my free time. I watch T.V. and Movies here. I sometimes even have my friends over to play some PS2 and have a party. Then also do a lot of sleeping on this very couch. It is so comfortable that if you sit on it you will feel like you are glued to it. Well that is my living room now on to the upstairs.

Up here is where my bedroom is! I have a huge king size bed with a big screen T.V. next to it. I sleep here if you didn't know already. I can watch cable all night and fall asleep up here if I want to. Over on the other side of my room is my walk in closet. I don't really want to show you what’s in there, it’s a big mess. Plus that hallway on the other side of the room is the way to my bathroom. Let’s go check that out.

Well this is my bathroom, I have a huge Jacuzzi tub right in the middle. Over to the right is my shower and to the left is my sink and counter. Be that beyond the door is my toilet and you all know what goes on there. I think that is about it for inside the house. I can show all of you my pool if you want.

Confusion walks out of his bedroom and down his steps. He walks out of the front door and heads to the back yard.

Confusion: This is my backyard! It is big enough to play football on and right over there is my pool. I have it all closed up for the winter but it usually looks very good. Next to the pool is the hot tub I like to sit in there for an hour or two to relax. It is very peaceful back here with not too many neighbors. Last but not least is my collection of cars.

Confusion walks back to his garage and opens the door. Inside is parked a silver Hummer and a red Firebird. Confusion: These are my great cars! I just bought that Hummer a couple of months ago and I have had that Firebird for five years now. They all have TVs built in and a great sound system. My Hummer is what I drive to work everyday. It is a big car for a big guy like me. Well that is my house and my cars. Thanks for coming MTV but now you have to get the hell out! BYE!

The camera man stops taping and talks to Confusion>

Camera Man: That was great! Well thanks a lot for letting me tape this. I need to get going now so see you later. Bye

Confusion: Bye!

The Camera Man leaves as Confusion waves to him. Confusion seems very pleased with how things went. As the PPV draws nearer the screen fades to black.


Confusion captures the Hart Title on 6/1/03