sunday, april 8, 2003.

Dear Diary,

The day was hot, really hot, and the sun was out in full force without a cloud in the sky. The rays of light were gleaming through my windshield as I sped down the highway. Luckily for me I had my oakleys with me, and the sun didn't bother me too much. The heat on the other hand did. It had to be around ninety five degree's outside, with high humidity. I had the windows closed and the air conditioning running full force. Even with all this, it was still hot. I had my shirt off and was wearing a white tanktop. Sweat rolled down my face and armpits, making me feel like I had just gotten out of a pool. I whipped some sweat off my forehead with my index finger and slung the sweat aside.

Tracy: Hey watch that, you're going to get your sweat on my dress.

I looked at her with a cocked eye. Dress? She was wearing a tanktop like me, with a bra underneath, and some short jean shorts. I looked her up and down, and stopped at her chest. A little pool of sweat had gathered around her chest making it almost see-through. She must have noticed me starring because she covered her chest with her hands.

Tracy: Uhh, maybe you should watch the road?

Chainz: Baby, I am watching the road.

Tracy: Funny, I last time I checked the road wasn't on my chest.

Chainz: Hey, maybe you should take that tanktop off.

Tracy: Yeah right.

Chainz: Fuck.

The next twenty or so minutes were spent in silence. Tracy had things on her mind, and so did I. Last Saturday I debuted on Black Saturday, and this coming Saturday I have my in ring debut. No more talking about what I'm gonna do, time to show it and prove that I'm the man I claim to be. Ty Baron hired me, and he was already going to see if he made a good investment. This Saturday, two more 360 wrestlers are gonna get the living hell beat out of them.

I kept driving down the highway, going way over the speed limit, and began to swirl in and out of the other lane. Tracy, who had been sleeping, awoke and was startled to see me with a beer in hand.

Tracy: Mike, I told you not to drink and drive, it's dangerous.

Chainz: Man, what the hell do you know?

Tracy: I know that drinking and driving is not only a crime, but it claims thousands of lives a day.

Chainz: I know how to handle my liquor.

Tracy: Maybe we should stop and take a break.

Chainz: Fine.

I continued driving until we came to the first rest stop area. Slowing the car down to a halt, I parked it and got out. Tracy got out on the other side and immediately went for the bathroom. I decided not to follow, but to have a little walk instead. I needed to stretch my legs out and I saw a little river off a ways. I began to walk, towards the river that beconked me like a shrine. When I finally reached it, I felt that a piss was on hand.

Chainz: Fuck, I don't want to go back.

The walk took about five minutes and with the heat was not one that I cared to repeat. I decided to piss on the ground and proceeded to relieve myself on the spot. To my dismay, someone was present.

Man: Uhh sir, I'd appreciate it if you didn't tinkle near me.

I looked around and saw a man in his mid thirties standing by a tree. I quickly zipped up my pants, because you never know what kind of men you might run into. The guy approached me and offered his hand.

Man: The name's John. John Wilkins.

Chainz: My name is Chainz.

John: What kind of name is that?

Chainz: It's a wrestling name douche.

John: Douche, why you calling me a douche?

Chainz: Cause you is.

John: Uhh, how old are you?

Chainz: Twenty-four.

John: And you talk like that?

Chainz: What's the matter with the way I talk?

John: Well, you sound stupid, using horrible grammar and words that don't make any sense.

Chainz: What don't make no sense?

John: Wow, a double negative. Haven't heard that one in awhile.

Chainz: What you some kind of teacher or something?

John: I'm a college professor.

Chainz: Sup, yo teach check this. Why is it so damn hot out here?

John: What kind of question is that?

Chainz: Man, this is boring I'm outta here.

As I started leaving the professor caught up to me and started talking again.

John: You know, I watched your promo a couple days ago.

Chainz: So.

John: Can I ask why you were in jail?

Chainz: No.

I turned and began to walk away when the bitch brought up some deep memories from my past.

John: Did they ever find the killer of your fiancé?

I stopped dead in my tracks. How the hell did this guy know about that? The trial was kept low key, and he would have had to have some serious connections to get that info.

Chainz: No one killed her, she overdosed.

John: Didn't you plead guilty to her murder?

How the hell did he know that? The press wasn't allowed inside. The court case was closed, and happened about three years ago.

Chainz: Yeah, but only because I was gonna get convicted and sentenced for much longer.

John: So you plead and got a deal. Four to eight years, with the possibility of parole after two. Of course you'd get out after two with your fame and money.

Chainz: Hey fuck, you'd better shut the hell up if you know what's good for you.

John: What, you don't like being told that you're a murderer?

Chainz: That I don't mind, but you've only told one side of the story. That bitch killed my child, without even consulting me she got an abortion. She just got up and went while I was at work. She deserved it, and she got what was coming to her. She was a bitch every time I saw her. She drank and smoked while she was pregnant, and had sex with other men with my child. Now, I did what any man would do and put that bitch out of her own misery.

John: Yeah right, everybody knows what really happened. You wanted her dead and simply drugged her so you wouldn't get caught. It was premeditated murder, and the fact that you only served two years is a joke.

I lunged at him and tackled him to the ground. He tried to get up, but I kicked him in his gut. He screamed in pain and began to cough up blood. I punched him in his face, repeatedly. He put his hands up to try and get some cover, but to no avail. I kept wailing at him, and the years of pent up frustration came out. I abused him worse than he's ever been in his life. I got up and stepped on his neck with my entire weight. He wheezed and was silent, shaking and struggling no more. I looked down and realized I had ended another human life.

John: Uhh, what are you thinking about?

I came back to reality and realized I had imagined the whole attack. That told me that the actual thing was soon to follow and I knew I had to leave. Seeing him in pain in my mind brought me some satisfaction. I decided I didn't need another run in with the law.

Chainz: You know what, you don't know a damn thing about me, so do me a favor and leave me alone.

I turned and walked away, emotions still running through my heart and soul. The one thing from the near past that I tried to forget, kept haunting me. It kept coming back in different forms, dreams, flashbacks, and god knows what else. I continued walking along the soft, green grass and when I got to the car I saw Tracy leaning against the side.

Tracy: What's wrong?

Chainz: Don't wanna talk about it, lets go.

She knew not to venture any deeper and silently got in the car. With the switch of the ignition we were off, but the rest of the drive I couldn't get the image of my dead fiancé and my dead baby out of my mind. I guess that's a lesson in life; no matter what you do and where you go, the past will always find you and haunt you to the end of your days.

Sincerely,

Chainz.