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We find Joey Peyton sitting on the foot of his hotel room bed the remote is in his hand, channel after channel goes by, only for a second or two at a time. Longer if it looks appealing, but after two full circles on the limited dial, Joey gives up the hunt for a decent show and throws the remote over his shoulder as it lands on his freshly fluffed hotel pillow. Joey gets up and walks out of the hotel room, as the door is swinging back, and just an inch before it clicks, Joey pushes the door open once again, this time to grab a duffle bag that was against the wall. Joey pulls on the one vinyl rope handle that he could reach and drags the bag across the floor. As it slides the half open zipper slides down and a glimmer of gold can be briefly seen before the door closes with a bang and blocks it.

We come back to an outside view of a house. But this isn't just any house. This is a mansion. And it has currently been over run with 20 somethings. The large white face, which looks quite similar to the white house, with large pillars, high windows and a large lawn in front which is littered with clothes, beer bottles and people. The music can be heard from every window in the building, and we are maybe the distance of a football field away. Just then two guys carrying a large keg pass the camera and go up the sloping lawn towards the house. The camera fallows them as they disappear into the house.

As we get closer the density of people increase. The music can be heard from every window of the large house. People on the lawn are dancing and drinking. People are running around, and thankfully this is on HBO as 60% of the women are topless. But what do they care. They are in college.

The camera finds it way into the house and finds itself looking up a large stair case. It goes to the second level, and on either side are two short hallways that lead to all the rooms in the house. But good luck getting to them, as they are full of people. So instead of fighting the camera peels around a corner, scanning the faces looking for Brat, to no avail. So the camera tries the other side, and again Joey can't be seen, but a few of the party goes wave and show off for the camera, hoping to get on T.V.

The camera goes back to the lobby area of the house and starts to go up the stairs, although the banister doesn't have an inch on it that isn't being leaned on by someone, the middle is clear, and the camera is up to the second level without obstruction. The camera hangs a ‘U’ turn and walks a few steps, approaching an open door way, after finding that it is empty the camera turns farther down the hall, see the four doors on this side, and the other half dozen on the other. Each door on this half is checked and each time, it is found empty, or not to be a room at all, as was the case with the linen closet half way down the set of door. So the camera moves onto the other side of the seemingly empty upstairs. The first door provides a closet, the second, and third bedrooms, and 4th is another bathroom. A short groan around a small corner intrigues the camera man, as he peeks around. And we see Joey, standing in between a wall and a toilet bowl, beside him, is a woman, leaning over the seat, Joey is holding . The camera approaches and Joey looks up to find out who it was.

Joseph Peyton: She had a little to much to drink, what can I say I am a gentleman. And besides, no one should be alone when they drink. Even Jesus had his Drinking buddies: Matthew; Mark; Luke; John; Peter; Paul; Thomas; Bartholomew; James; Simon; And Judas. They roamed the world in search of the best parties, turning water to wine, and spreading the word of the drunken hallucination that was their god.

But I digre......

Before Joey can finish the word digress the woman beside him lets loose and soon fills the toilet bowl. Which Joey promptly flushes before it can bother him too much. But after finishing, getting up, rinsing her mouth out with mouthwash, before she falls in front of the toilet once again. This time Joey can't take it. And he cringes and lets go of her long, brown hair, as it falls into her face, a nice shade of green is added to it.

Joey walks out of the bathroom and into another door. Right away he stops and backs out of the room. The camera looks at what turned Joey around so quickly. Laying on the bed of this room is a couple, doing what couples do. Both obviously drunk, as the subtle stink of booze can be smelt from the door, either from their breaths as they walked in, or just pouring out of their bodies, in the form of the sweat they are producing, thanks to each other. Joey looks around the corner, the cameraman crouches down, and peeks in the direction, to someone who would be paying attention, they would be one stooge short of a famous pose. But the only people in the room that could possibly appreciate it, are preoccupied with each other.

The guy is on top, leaning on the bed, one hand behind the woman’s head, the other, free hand, doing what any red blooded male’s free hand would do in that situation. And she isn’t stopping him. Joey walks into the room and a few steps in he bends down and grabs the duffle bag he was seen with earlier. He picks it up and walks out of the room unnoticed. The couple continue to grope eachother as Joey walks down the hall. And down the stairs, without a word he fights through the people and out of the building. Once he is on the lawn, walking over the wet grass, the sprinklers must have been recently on, Joey puts the shoulder strap of his bag on his arm and walks.

Joseph Peyton: All I can say is good luck to those two up there. Sex is something that is supposed to be a culmination of love and respect. At least that is what the nuns taught me. So I wish good luck to those people. Respect is one thing i mentioned, and that is one thing people have to earn, JATT STARR, you are a hardcore mother fucker in this business, and no, I am not gonna claim to be a legend killeror anything cliche like that. But I know that when you show your face, you are going to demand respect, but I want to inform you of something....

Before Joey finishes he stops, now a good distance away from the house. With only one or two roamers, that have strayed out of earshot of the music.

Joseph Peyton: YOU HAVEN’T DONE @#%$ TO EARN MY RESPECT! Here you are just another rookie, now please don't misconstrue this as not acknowledging your accomplishments, well to be honest you have no accomplishments but to talking to a god damn fake Pamela Anderson, Jesus your stupid.

Joseph takes a long breath of air and continues

Joseph Peyton: Now you say Joseph Peyton is So Average? Well the only thing average of Joey's career is the number of defeated wrestlers which have come and gone! Now you wanna talk about accomplishments? Sure you want a damn list? I'll be sure to fax it to you but for now let me give you a brief history lesson son, I was in HOW also, Yes, But i was known as High Flyer the ulimate high flying machine. You see i quit the HOW... Why? Because it lacked talent, the staff sucked major nuts, plus the shows seemed so.... what is the word... Blank! And now you come out talking about your Internet Title well PS: I dont give a shit!

Joseph Peyton walks at a normal pace while talking into the camera.

Joseph Peyton: You see i was the CHZ North American Champion! I retired as the champion and stood my ground! I was the XcW World Champion not once but Twice! Now XcW has 43 members and 2 different shows, It was beyond a honor to win these accomplishments but now I'm here in XWF so fuck the others we need to focus on now! This match, no past but the present.

The Camera man hands a glass of water to Joseph knowing his stress in the stupidity of Jastt

Joseph: So Pamela Anderson? Excuse me but our you retarded? This is no joke for a man as stupid as yourself to talk to a god damn picture of Pamela Anderson? Why don't you fuck the thing for god sakes? Your acts of obscene retardiness (If thats a disease you would have it) is just beyond words my friend. Now excuse me as i walk to the gym

Stupid ass murmors Joseph as we walk away from the scene....

 

Scene 2 Comes up with Joseph Peyton and his wife Kelly where we capture them in a middle of a conversation

 

Kelly I can't believe you made Ryan be your slave for the day!

Joey: Kelly, he lost the bet! He was obliged to do whatever I told him to.

Kelly: But Joey… Making him unblock the drains! By hand! You can’t get much lower than that!

Joey: I could have ordered him to the chemist to buy a million pack of Durex though…

Kelly: Yes, you could. And it’s a good job you didn’t!

Suddenly, the celebrity couple are interrupted by a waitress, carrying a tray.

Waitress: Excuse me Sir, Madame… Here are the drinks you ordered earlier.

The waitress leaves the two glasses on the table, before leaving the scene.

Joey Peyton: I’m glad that all these drinks are paid for thanks to the XWF ::giggles::

Kelly: Yeah. Or I wouldn’t be having the most expensive champagne. What have you got?

Joey Peyton: A Baileys Haagen-Dazs.

Kelly: A Baileys Haagen-Dazs?

Joey: Yeah. Even though I don’t drink.

Joey is about to take a sip of his Baileys, when something catches his eye. Someone is sat opposite him, with a blonde lady. He has a familiar look about him as far as Joey is concerned. Kelly too is throwing one or two curious looks in his direction.

Kelly: Is that who I think it is?

Joey Peyton: Yes, I think it is. And I’m going to go and have a word with him…

Joseph Peyton clambers to his feet, before making his way over the dance floor to the man he has had his eye on. He leans on the table, politely coughing in order to enter the conversation.

Joey Peyton: Excuse me… But I can’t help noticing that you're Conan O Brian.

Conan O Brian!!!

 

 

Conan O Brian: And I can’t help but noticing that you’re Joeyy Peytonnn!! Heh.

Joey Peyton: You know me…?

Conan O Brian: Yeah! I watch wrestling all the time!

Joey Peyton: But… But… Can I have your autograph, please?

Conan O Brian: Yeah, of course you can.

The new XWF superstar fumbles around in his pocket and brings out his invitation, as well as a smart looking pen. The funniest american signs the autograph smartly, before handing it back to Joey, who tucks it into his pocket. However, before he can put it away, an invitation is being waved in his direction to.

Conan O Brian: I’m a big fan.

(Joey Peyton smirks, and scribbles his own signature on the invite.)

Conan O Brian Big match this week then, eh Joey?

Joey Peyton: It is indeed. Any beginning match is a huge match, but when it’s your first one, it’s much harder than usual.

Conan O Brian: So you know all about making history and amazing entrances?

Joey Peyton: I certainly do. And I haven’t always been successful either… Which means that I have a lot to prove to everyone. But most importantly, I have to prove it to myself. And when I decide I have to impress myself, I go about whatever I’m doing with a great deal more vigour and verve than ever before. I was a 2 time XcW World Champion, which was child’s play, I know, compared to the XWF. However, I’m not stupid. I know when a task is the same. And being the number one man in the business, whilst being an enjoyable task, is also a difficult task. I always have something to prove. And this week the time has come for me to show what I am made of for the first time.

Conan O Brian: You have a livewire to prove anything against, too.

Joey Peyton: I have all the respect in the world for Starr... Not!. You see i have jokes of my own hahaha... anyway yeah I will bet you a grand on my victory Conan I'm pumped

Conan O Brian: Good to see you looking and sounding so confident Joey

Joey Peyton: I’m always confident. If I wasn’t confident, I wouldn’t be stood in front of you here as the number one man in the XWF. You need that certain air of confidence and style about you. No World Champion in any federation is able to be humble and show anybody too much respect. The sign of a good wrestler is being able to respect his opponents. However, getting the balance right is incredibly important. Too much respect and they will defeat you. Too little respect and they will teach you a lesson in respect. However, I am on a roll lately, for starts i joined XWF now i will become the best

Conan O Brian: Must be weird for you fighting in a hardcore, 1 on 1 matchup

Joey Peyton: That’s true.

(Suddenly, loud music begins to play in the background, and Joey jumps into life.)

Joey Peyton: I’d better go. It’s been great talking to you, Conan

Conan O Brian: And to you, Joey…

Joey scurries across the dance floor, returning to Kelly