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...Death...

Recently I have honestly been thinking of the usual

1. Kissing "My Reject Buddy" Goodbye followed by

2. Jumping off the building across the street and killing myself

 

It sucks to be depressed doesn't it? But what sucks more is when a buddy can make you so happy but than in a matter of a day or two they just totally forget you and your feelings. This has happened to me so many times that the experience of this is just another walk around the park but with this buddy it's totally different. My "reject Buddy" was probably the most important person in my life and for her to call me an asshole is just basically fucked, especially when the insult was for no god damn reason. I will not lie i actually did cry which is one of the rarest things i will ever do especially for a exchange of words (Yes I'm a guy and cried who in the fuck cares?)

It's quite weird to be honest, I never cry from pain such as getting punched in the nose or cutting myself, the only pain for me is when my "reject buddy" cusses me out and tells me i lied for no damn reason. Sure, it's quite stupid for even liking this buddy but she means more than anything to me and i can truly with all my heart say i Love her. But... It is easy to say you love someone which i understand, but I love her with all my heart, I swear to god i would even kill myself for this person. You see we both believe in a totally different definition of love. She say's i'm going through some teenage "love a person and get over it deal" but the thing is I can't, I can't do that.

Now she has a boyfriend named Sam who is a total asshole, he's a two faced prick who deserves nothing. He always tells me one thing but changes it with her which i think is totally fucked espically when she ask's him and he says i lied. Now i can understand or leaning towards me lieing because Sam is her boyfriend but for her to say it in my face "You Lied" is so heart breaking that it still crushes my heart. I've told her hundreds of times "(Reject Buddy) I did not lie" But of course she believes Sam "The Boyfriend From Hell" but why does she do this to me? It's so weird how our conversations which each other have totally dropped, For Example: When we leave we never say XXOO anymore its always just LEAVE! not even BYE! God! What has this fucker done to me and her friendship!?

But you wanna know something freaky?! Okay, On Sunday i told my buddy that Sam was lieing and it will show by him getting Karma later in life, of course she just ignored the comment and left.... but then the next day which is a TODAY Sam was hit by a car in his leg and had his head smashed into the mirror of the car. Now it that weird or what? He's okay only had a severe headache and shit but it's quite shocking how this happened. Well see you see later...