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The scene opens up at a local strip bar. The scene opens by showing a lot of sexy looking women dancing all over the place. Then the camera man spots a known face. He walks up to him and sees that the man is none other than one of the newest wrestlers to the XPW, Val Venis. Val Venis is a little shocked to see the camera man in the bar trying to follow him. But since the camera man is there Val Venis decides to cut his very first promo for the XPW. Val Venis stands up and tells the camera man to follow him. Val Venis and the camera man walk out of the bar and the scene reopens on the street out in front of the car. Val Venis runs his fingers through his hair and steps up on the camera man and begins to speak about his match against the Rowdy one Mr. Piper. Val Vanis takes off his shirt to show the ladies.

Val Venis: Hello Ladiesss!!! Thats right the big Valbowski is back in the XPW and I am finally ready to make my debut. Sorry to all my ladies last week, I was kinda busy...if you know what I mean. Anyways, the Big Valbowski is like butter on pancakes, the women melt when they see me. But lets get serious here because my opponent has already cut his promo about this week. Roddy Piper, if you think just because I didn't show up last week and Johnny "The Bullshit artist" beat me last week, that I am going to hide this week also...you are dead wrong. Because here I am and this week on Shocker I am going for you because last week was my mistake, this week there won't be a mistake because I will hit you with the Money Shot and you will fall to the man known as the Big Valbowski.

You talk to your little buddy Christopher backstage about me and you talk about how real man real kilts. You also turned around and said that I stole my towels from the XPW. How about you stop talking about stupid meaningless crap like that and start talking about the match against me. And leave the puppy dog of yours, Christopher, backstage. We wouldn't want to get him hurt now to would we. Now to you stupid punk Christopher, you know damn well you aren't as smart as you think you are. I mean really, you gives a rat's ass if you went to Harvard or Baylor? I really don't care either way, the point is this...if your Hardvar lovin' ass comes down to the ring with Piper, I am going to knock you out so hard you are going to have to go through college all over again. Piper, why make fun of the FBI? Everyone knows they can't wrestle anyways. The F*ckin' Bloody Idoits don't even belong here in the WWE.

Now Piper, you went way out of line when you started talking about Jordan and Stackhouse. You just wish that you were even in half the shape that either the two of those men are in. If I brought Jordan to Shocker, I have no doubt that he would step into the ring and kick your ass from one side to the other. And Stackhouse, don't even get me started on him, he would take your out of shape ass and slam dunk your ass all the way to hell. By the way the reason everyone cheers for me is because I am a better wrestler than you and I am more of a fan favorite then you out of shape beer gut pathetic piece of shit ass. Ok sure I lost to this stupid punk called "The Bull" but that was last week and this week you will be the first person to lose to me because I said so and I am the Big Valbowski. Hey...hey...hey...you said that I can't cut here in XPW? Have you looked in the mirror lately? You are more out of shape then a than a one hundred year old women. But since you said I couldn't cut it here and I should retire. I have a challenge for you even though you probably won't take the challenge because of the person who are. I think since you believe I should leave and I know you are out of shape. How about we ask the boss to make our match were the loser of our match has to leave the XPW for good? I guess I don't have to worry about your answer because it is going to be a big fat NO! Just like you big and fat.

Why should I come out with something else, I am here to state the facts to all my fans here in the XPW. You are big and fat, everyone knows it and the only problem I have stepping into the ring with you, I might have to act like I am wrestling a damn whale or something. Now you also say that you let Chris Jericho beat you, stop lieing old man. You know that you can't beat anyone here in the XPW and thats why Chris Jericho beat you. Stop making little excuses you little...wait, big fat punk. You think that you are going to do all my fans a favor my beating me and making me wanting to leave the wrestling world forever. Did you ever think how a man out of shape like you can actually hang with a man like me in the ring? You are not going to beat me in that is all I have to say.

So Piper, get ready because this Sunday at Shocker, I don't care if you have your little pet Christoper at ringside or not. I am still going to beat you because I am not going to have my fans mad at me again. The Big Valbowski is going to walk into Shocker and walk out with my first ever win in XPW against the old fat wrinkled man known as Roddy Piper. By the way Piper, I know you don't really care about this but my fans will. Starting tonight, the Big Valbowski is going to open his very own adult video programming store. I am going to put every other adult video store out of business with the stuff I am going to have. If there are any divas out there that want to star in my first feature film let me know. Also since there are so many ladies in the crowd I guess I could let them have a chance to prove themselves and be in one of my videos as well.

Until Sunday Piper, get ready for the Big Valbowski...

Val Venis turns around and goes back into the bar.

Scene fades to black...