RP#3

This latest act, however. Is quite amusing. What Cliff finds this to be is this halfwit has gotten himself a pack of actors and he's auditioning for Hollywood. You know? No matter how much Cliff comes bad out of acts one night, he can always rely on another night to make him laugh once again.

Thanks Crusher... I'm laughing at your stupidity.

Oh, and for the record kid. You better not be paying those actors much. 'Cause let's put it this way, they ain't no Tom Hanks...

The scene opens up with Nate Blackstone and Cliff sitting in their apartment, which doesn't seem to look as if it had been affected from Crusher. As they are sitting down they having numerous empty beer cans scattered around the room as well as chip packets and popcorn. Both men are laughing loudly as the cameras spin around to the television to reveal that Crusher's latest promo is airing. Cliff's laughter by this time is booming loudly through the house as the eventually hold their laughter and start to speak.

How damn funnier can this promo get?!

Not much man, let me tell you that. The poor actors, the stupidity of Crusher and the lack of common sense just lets this promo be nearly as bad as that Scream movie!

Which scream movie?

You know, the one with the stupid chick running away from that masked dude.

Cliff blankly stares at Nate.

Ok, bad description.

Are you talking Scream 1, Scream 2, Scream 3 or Scream 4?

Is there even such thing as a Scream 4?

Damn man, I dunno. You're the one telling the story.

Don't worry about it. All that needs to be said is that this promo is damn hilarious.

Amen to that.

Come on man! This idiot made it look like your family own this hell big Gracelands look alike house!

Yeah. Too bad they live in a two storey surburban house! Since when does a damn retired mechanic become a multi-billionaire?

Yeah man. Didn't realise your dad was ever that rich.

Geez, neither did I. Thank god Crusher did, otherwise I'd live my whole life without knowing!

Cliff and Nate look at each other before cracking out into laughter.

Hell, Cliff. Why don't we hop out of the wrestling business and become full time mechanics? We'll make billions of dollars and live off it for the rest of our lives!

Yeah, I have training in those areas. So hell, you and I should become partners and we could make some multi-billion dollar corpration!

Yeah! And then when we have so much power in the ways of mechanics... we can conquer the world!

Both Cliff and Nate laugh.

Damn... even through all the rubbish that happened only a few nights ago we can always rely on Crusher and his stupid ways to make me laugh.

Yeah, his first prank screwed up big time. Yet, it still got to you.

Yeah man, it got to me in a big way.

But on the other side of things, he has screwed up yet another prank on you. This time, being completely and utterly lame.

Too right on that one! This latest little stunt hurts nobody but himself.

Both men then talks in a sarcastic tone.

But Cliff... aren't you worried about him tying up your mother?

Why of course I am!

Sarcasm is dropped as a soft chuckle is given from Cliff.

What is it with people wanting something to do with my mother? Smit tried pulling this crap off in XWD. These stupid morons need to realise that my mother passed away about four years ago! What the hell is this kind of dumb shiznit? Check your research kid next time. Rather than trying to look bad ass by hiring some actors and looking to be the so called "bad boy".

Hey, hey! Back off man. He is a tough guy. I mean, it takes a hell lot of guts to sucker punch the elderly!

Cliff shakes his head.

What a freakin' twirp. Is that supposed to strike fear in Cliff? Is Cliff supposed to just jump back and go "oh no, he beat up an elderly man that is more than twice my age". Is that supposed to make you a bad guy? No, Crushie boy. It makes you a twirp. A little cowarly twirp that doesn't have anything to bounce back off anymore... What else is new from this kid? I mean really. He tries to pull something new off every damn week. What's it all about though? Boredom? Does the kid just get bored? Or is it all about another word that comes across Cliff's mind...

What word would that be?

Attention.

Heh, I should of known that one.

It's just what he thrives for. He loves getting my attention. Simply put Nate, the kid is selfish. He walks around the place twirling his arms in the air while parading around in that stupid mask exclaiming "look at me, look at me!" and if Cliff draws the attention away from him for ONE second to address another matter?

Budda-bing, budda-boom. He wants the attention thrown back on him.

Exactly. You know, you catch on to things pretty good for a guy with a perm.

Nate gives Cliff an angry look and raises his fist as Cliff laughs and puts his hands up.

Jokes man... Pullin' ya' tail.

Nate throws his arm back down and chuckles.

Yeah I know. Just wanted to see if I can make you flinch.

Smart-ass biznitch...

Cliff smirks when all of a sudden, his phone rings. Cliff pulls his phone out of his jeans pocket and answers it.

Yo?

...

Hey, nothing much buddy. Just sitting around watching the latest promo of Crushie Boy.

...

No way, this promo shows supreme stupidity. I've watched in 6 or 7 times already it is so damn hilarious! Anyway, what are you ringing for?

...

You did?

...

Congratulations comrade, you sure as hell deserve it. We better do something today to celebrate this!

...

A quiet one? Hell no man... we're celebrating this somehow.

...

Okay, we'll talk later. Catchya later.

Cliff hangs up his cell phone and puts it back in his pocket.

Who was that?

It was Mike... He got into Biggs' wrestling college.

Really?

Yeah...

Whoah, pass him my congrats.

Will do... But Cliff just HAS to get back onto the topic of Crushie Boy.

Oh hell yes...

What about the manure man? Isn't this kid a funny one!

Yeah! You bettcha! Heheh... uhhh... geez....

Lame?

Very lame...

Considering both you and I walked down the corridors and started smelling that stuff. We opened our door of our apartment... to find..............!!!

Dun dun DUUUUN!!!

Nothing new.

Nothing new?!

Nope, not a thing.

Are you trying to tell me that crap smeared all over the place is nothing new and normal?!

What? No man... that happened next door!

Cliff and Nate both laugh.

It looks like Crushie boy got the wrong number for the apartment building!

Man, lucky the guy next door is a wrestling journalist that loves the occasional beer like yourself.

Yeah, otherwise Crushie Boy would have realised it was the wrong room and the process of yet another humilation would have crumbled.

But... it didn't. And look who we see as the big jackass of all the WuW.

Crushie.

Cliff and Nate both laugh.

Yeah, the guy lost the plot when he saw all that crap around his apartment. Now he's sending the carpet cleaning bill to Crushie.

How much?

Five thousand dollars.

Five THOUSAND dollars?!

Yeah man, that guy really loves his carpet. That bill should be getting to him pretty damn soon as well as BJ Biggs' bill.

BJ actually put through a bill?

Yeah man. You're gonna love this one. It's a bill of ten thousand dollars. Making a grand daddy total of fifteen thousand dollars.

Damn.

One word that sums it up perfectly. On top of that, if he refuses to pay for all this crap he'll have lawsuits filed on his sorry ass for breaking and entering.

This just keeps getting better and better.

As Nate says that, he stands up and walks out of the room and into his kitchen. The cameras stay on Cliff as we hear a fridge open and then Nate speak from the distance.

Dammit.

What?

We're dry on beers... I'll go get some.

Alright man.

Nate starts to make his way out as Cliff calls out to him and Nate turns around.

Hey Nate.

Yeah?

Don't ride no damn cabs.

Cliff throws the keys to Nate as he catches them one handed.

Thanks. Be back later buddy.

Alright comrade.

Nate leaves the apartment as Cliff is still sitting watching the promo with an arrogant smirk on his face. He then looks to the camera and starts to speak directly to Crusher.

Well, your stupid ass has really screwed up this time... Hasn't it punk? When are you ever going to grow up kid? Now, Cliff finds it cute that the nice police woman found it in her heart to take your sorry ass to the zoo out of sympathy. And Cliff also finds it cute that you think these little pranks are supposed to resolve anything. But fact is, you've pissed Cliff off once. You tried to do it twice, and you landed flat on your face doing so. You got what you had coming for you. And if you think these two measly little stunts were worth the $15, 000 in fines you are getting... You do not DESERVE to be in this business. Because it ain't about trashing peoples houses and trying to be a big tough man. It's about doing your business in the ring. It's about walking out to that squared circle and giving it your all for the match at hand. Do you think Cliff gives a damn if you can trash a television set? Do you think Cliff gives a damn if you can actually spell something? And do you THINK for a second that Cliff finds this in any way, shape or form harmful to me work ethic in the ring?

No way. It ain't affecting anything of me. These little stunts have to stop, Crushie Boy. For all they do is harm your image. All they do is harm your future. You call yourself "the future". Get your hand off the pin, chumpstain. If you were the future our grandchildren would literally be screwed in watching any wrestling whatsoever. A future prospect does not perform little acts of rebellious nature. You want to do that kind of trash? Join the the bandwagon of MTV's Jackass. But if you are about the wrestling. If you are about proving yourself in that ring to the Big Bad Cliff. For the love of GOD do it for once! Be a man, not a kid. Show experience, not rookie behaviour. Live up to the expectations people have held upon you. 'Cause when the going gets tough for your punk ass... when YOU can't take the verbal pressure anymore you go and pull a worthless stunt out of your ass. Because you have nothing else to fall back on... it's a strong display of piss poor ability. Do you want to be looked at as something? Well do something an icon would do. You may look like a pimply faced kid, but Cliff doubts that you truthfully are. So why not grow out of this "prankster" crap? Hell, Cliff will be a first to admit that he was once a prankster. But that shiznit got old when he was 17 years old... It was about then where Cliff wanted to step to the next level and become a man... not a mindless kid. Are you understanding what Cliff is getting at here, punk? Or may he as well just say "blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda". As much disrespect as Cliff shows you, at least he's trying to tell you something that could possibly help you in the long run. Simply put, Cliff shows you disrespect... because with your current persona switch being switched to "wannabe rebel butthead", you deserve all the bad mouthing you get! You don't deserve crap smeared through your place, what the hell is that? Getting your ideas of South Park now, are we melon mask? Geez, when you start copying a fat cartoon kid... you KNOW that your career is going downhill from that point.

Now after your stupid "special olympics" joke. Take some advice from a man who has perfected verbal humiliation. Never... EVER try and be funny ever again. It just doesn't work Crushie. You're a much funnier guy when you try to be serious. Not only was your special olympics joke lame and out-dated, it was also distasteful to anybody with a disability. So congratulations, smackface! Through putting that statement on the air you've probably got yourself into yet more strife with lawsuits. Damn man, you want respect? Have some respect for other people and their lifestyles... you stupid punkass. I'm sure a blind man could whoop your sorry ass. And I'm sure as hell a one legged man could use that one leg to stamp a bootprint in your stupid ass! So can you please listen to yourself before you wonder why everyone treats you like a little bitch? Hardly any damn person around the place shows you respect... and you wonder why?! You sicken me, for reasons of you being an arrogant prick of a kid. As for wrestling leagues? Yeah? IHCW, YGW, CWWe, XZCW, APWF, TCXW, WXW, GFW, TFWF, XWD and now WuW? Yeah... so what was that about you insulting my wrestling league history? God damn, are you really that stupid to put me to the test? Do yourself a favour buddy... and shut the hell up. You are looking way to stupid as it is...

Now, your sudden love for BG is really sickening. All Cliff hears is you having to somehow mention him and associate him with our match at SuperSlam. Now lets get serious here ladies and gents. Crushie boy doesn't really want that police chicky... he wants good ol' BG. With a little bit of "like BG did this" and "BG has done this"... fact is, Cliff don't give a rats ass what BG says to Barty, what Barty says to Billy, what Billy says to Franky, or what Franky says to Spanky... what Cliff gives a rats ass about is what Cliff says to Crushie. And to top it all off, what Cliff DOES to Crushie at SuperSlam 3. Now cut the stupid little games that you think affect me, cut it with recording your dates with women to try and prove to us that you can actually attract the opposite sex and most of all... just cut it with being a whiney little bitznitch begging for some Cliff attention. Your getting a hell lot of it this Sunday. But be careful kid...

For this attention Cliff gives you will involve

1. A size 16 boot print in your ass stamped and branded for you to be shipped back to jobberville.

and 2. A big damn crushing of your sweet little edge that you stand on. Making Crusher the Crushed.

Now THAT'S verbal humilation. You punk ass!

All of a sudden, Cliff's phone rings once again. Cliff pulls his cell phone out of his jeans pocket and answers.

Hello?

...

Oh, hey Mary.

...

You did what to him?!

...

Hahaha! That's so cold hearted!

...

Good job, consider your work a success.

...

Alright, see ya' later.

Cliff hangs up the phone and chuckles to himself.

Yeah, Crushie. There was this other thing Cliff was meaning to bring up. That police woman you were with that night. She's kind of BJ's step sister... Cliff hopes your having a fun time cuffed to your bed in your underwear and your masked flipped backwards on your head...

Ooooh, man it's great to be this Big. Man it's great to be this Bad. Damn, it's AWESOME being the Big Bad Cliff!

Cliff looks into the camera with an ear to ear grin as the scene slowly fades to black.