Oh yeah Carlito forgot…get dat stupid grin off of your face…das not cool man’g, it makes you look like an even bigger idiot than you already are…jus chill out and be cool…be like Carlito, dat would do you wonders.
‘ Stuttering Backup ’ Matt Morgan: Al-alright Carlito I w-w-will try and act mo-mo-mo…more like you.
‘ Das Cool ’ Carlito Caribbean Cool: Well at least you’re smart enough to sorta figure out…das more dan Daniels can say…dat guy wouldn’t know how to be cool if cool came up to him and smacked him in his big head…he’s got no chance to be cool…not in dis life time. Matt, you still got a little bit of hope…
Carlito looks at Morgan who just smiles at him not wanting to further embarrass himself by trying to speak.
‘ Das Cool ’ Carlito Caribbean Cool: Das better man’g…you’re really starting to figure it out. You are Carlito’s big back up…which means you back Carlito…you are better seen and not heard my friend…you remember dat old rule about silence being golden…Carlito thinks dat dey made dat rule up jus because of you Haha…Carlito’s kidding man’g…but Daniels could learn a lot from dat rule too…because he doesn’t talk…he yells. Every time Carlito sees him with his face all beat red yellin’ at da top of his lungs…I think he’s about to pull something…das just another reason why Daniels …one of tha million. He’s always so angry…das not da cool way to be. I bet he gets mad at McDonalds if dey forget to super size his french fries…das jus da kinda guy dat he is…an UNCOOL one.
Carlito looks up at Morgan who is looking serious now, taking Carlito’s advise as the two men make their way on into the studio and head down the hallway looking for Carlito’s dressing room. The two men turn a corner and happen to run into one of the stars of Wedding Crashers Vince Vaughn as he is at the refreshment area making him a glass of water as Carlito’s eyes get huge.
‘ Das Cool ’ Carlito Caribbean Cool: Do you know who dat is Matt? Das Vince Vaughn…he’s a big time movie star man’g. He was in dat movie wedding crashers…Carlito knows cool man’g…and dat movie, dat movie was cool, Carlito’s gonna go talk to him man’g…you can come over there too if you promise to keep your stuttering mouth shut.
‘ Stuttering Backup ’ Matt Morgan: I prom-prom-promise…I am a bi-bi-bi-…big fan of his too.
‘ Das Cool ’ Carlito Caribbean Cool: Okay? Carlito doesn’t care man’g…Carlito doesn’t have to care, you are Carlito’s back up he is not yours. You can come too if you jus keep your mouth shut…okay?
Morgan nods as he and Carlito make their way over to were Vince Vaughn is slowly. Vince turns right as the two men reach him as he smirks, Carlito’s eyes still wide as he smirks back.
‘ Das Cool ’ Carlito Caribbean Cool: Vince Vaughn…it’s an honor for Carlito to meet such a cool guy. Wedding Crashers…dat was a cool movie man’g…an’ trust me Carlito knows cool an’ dat movie was very very cool.
‘ Wedding Crasher ’Vince Vaughn: Well thanks man I appreciaite that…I know I’ve seen your face somewhere before too, I just can not place it, mind giving me a hint?
‘ Das Cool ’ Carlito Caribbean Cool: Sure man’g…no problem. Carlito will do anything for a cool guy like yourself…do you follow Wrestling?
‘ Wedding Crasher ’ Vince Vaughn: Yeah man I’m a huge fan of it, have been ever since I was a kid.
‘ Das Cool ’ Carlito Caribbean Cool: Well Carlito is da fastest rising star in ECE's history…and in a few days is going to become da ECE's next X Division Champeen.
‘ Wedding Crasher ’ Vince Vaughn: Oh yeah…you’re Carlito Caribbean Cool. Good to see someone cool like yourself thinks my movie is cool Haha. Who’s your buddy over there?
‘ Das Cool ’ Carlito Caribbean Cool: Oh das Carlito’s bodyguard…he’s a little shy…he’s got a problem.
‘ Stuttering Backup ’ Matt Morgan: N-No-No…I do-do…
‘ Wedding Crasher ’ Vince Vaughn: Yo doo doo? Haha easy big guy no need for you to discuss your shit with me…haha literally.
Carlito busts out laughing as Vince Vaughn laughs with him. The camera pans to Morgan who looks like he’s feeling dumber than ever.
‘ Das Cool ’ Carlito Caribbean Cool: Haha really Matt…don’t make yourself look dumber dan you already look…
‘ Wedding Crasher ’ Vince Vaughn: Haha and just be looks he looks pretty fuckin’ dumb. Haha Im kidding…but I really do gotta get going man, its was cool to meet you and good luck with your match for the Title.
‘ Das Cool ’ Carlito Caribbean Cool: Thanks man’g…although Carlito doesn’t need luck to beat Christopher Daniels, he still appreciates it. An’ it was very cool to meet you too man’g…keep up da cool work.
Vince nods as he shakes both of their hands and walks out of the picture. Carlito smacks Matt over the head again as Matt looks at him with his typical confused look.
‘ Stuttering Backup ’ Matt Morgan: Wh-wh-what was th-that for?
‘ Das Cool ’ Carlito Caribbean Cool: For makin’ Carlito look like an idiot in front of Vince Vaughn…dat wasn’t cool man’g. Carlito told you to jus keep your mouth shut…an’ you didn’t listen, das not cool.
Suddenly one of the Backstage assistants of the Tonight Show comes into our scene as it looks like Jay is ready for Carlito.
‘ Hot Assistant ’ Tiffany: Carlito, Jay is ready for you…
‘ Das Cool ’ Carlito Caribbean Cool: Alright…das cool. Matt you stay here man’g…dere’s no need for your stuttering ass to embarrass Carlito on national TV…dat wouldn’t be cool.
Carlito walks off with the assistant as Matt stands there looking goofily. Our view fades into NBC studios in Burbank now as Jay Leno sits behind his desk freshly done with his monologue and ready to interview his first guest, which is Carlito.
‘ Late Night King ’Jay Leno: My first guest tonight is a professional wrestler who is a star currently in one of the hottest federations around, Extreme Championship Entertainment. Their Pay Per View is in two weeks called Wrestlemania 2 were he will compete for the X Division Title, ladies and gentlemen Carlito Caribbean Cool!
The Tonight Show band plays some music as Carlito makes his way out onto the stage as the crowd applauds. Carlito makes his way over to Jay Leno as the two men shake hands and Carlito goes over and takes a seat as Jay goes back behind his desk and takes a seat too.
‘ Late Night King ’Jay Leno: Nice to meet you, glad we could have you on.
‘ Das Cool ’ Carlito Caribbean Cool: Haha it’s very cool to be here.
‘ Late Night King ’Jay Leno: Something I know an awful lot about, being cool. But you are called The King of Cool, so you would know right?
‘ Das Cool ’ Carlito Caribbean Cool: Haha yeah man’g Carlito knows cool…an’ you’re not on Carlito’s level. But you are a lot better dan dat Letterman guy…he’s not cool.
‘ Late Night King ’Jay Leno: Haha I’ve always thought that too.
The crowd all erupts into laughter as Jay takes the chance to rip on his competition in the Late Night scene.
‘ Late Night King ’Jay Leno: Now I’ve been told that your dad was also a wrestler, is that how you got into this as a kid, if you care to explain a little bit on your past?
‘ Das Cool ’ Carlito Caribbean Cool: Yeah Carlito’s pop was a wrestler…an’ I guess dat’s were I got my interest in it. But Carlito is way more successful dan his father…I’m not taking a shot at my father, I’m jus statin da facts. An’ another fact is dat Carlito will defeat Christopher Daniels at Wrestlemania to become da new ECE X Division Champeen…an’ das gonna be really cool.
‘ Late Night King ’Jay Leno: Let’s talk about that…you are facing Christopher Daniels at the pay per view for the X Division Title. Are you nervous going into this match…what are your thoughts and game plan as you head into this?
‘ Das Cool ’ Carlito Caribbean Cool: Nervous…please Carlito never gets nervous man’g. Dat wouldn’t be cool…an’ das what Carlito is all about. Now if das was a bible studying contest…or a contest to see who could make da ugliest face…den Carlito would be in trouble. But das not da case man’g…an’ Carlito doesn’t need a game plan for dat punk Daniels. Because Carlito is better…simple as dat. Daniels time at da top is coming to an end…and Carlito’s new reign of cool is about to begin…an’ dere isn’t a thing dat “Da Fallen Angel” can do to stop Carlito…Carlito has been workin on dis goal for two long months now…an’ Carlito is not gonna fumble da ball at da goal line…dat wouldn’t be cool. Carlito is gonna get da job done…and you know Jay…das cool.
‘ Late Night King ’Jay Leno: Haha I won’t argue you with that. You seem to know cool pretty well my friend…but we are about out of time.
‘ Das Cool ’ Carlito Caribbean Cool: Das not cool…
‘ Late Night King ’Jay Leno: Haha yeah I know…but I just wanted to see if you had any last words regarding this match, this event or anything in general.
‘ Das Cool ’ Carlito Caribbean Cool: Well it’s pretty simple Jay…even dat big headed punk Christopher Daniels may be smart enough to follow along…because it’s simple as dis Daniels days as Champeen are numbered…dat nice shiny cool gold title belongs on someone cool…an’ dat someone is Carlito. An’ da weeks have turned to days an’ da days will turn to hours…so Daniels better enjoy his last couple of days with da Title…because at Wrestlemania dat title is gonna come to da only man in ECE cool enough to hold it…at Wrestlemania, Carlito is gonna take dat final step…an’ dat final step is gonna lead to a brand new X Division Champeen…an’ Jay even you know….