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Rp Number: 51
Record: 10-10-1
Next Match: WRESTLEMANIA II
Carlito vs Edge |
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[[ Prologue ]] All the aftermath from X-Rated will go down Saturday Night on X-Rated live from the American Airlines Arena in Dallas Texas. Will Carlito have anything planned for Edge. But one thing we are sure of is Carlito Caribbean Cool will step into the ring at X-Rated against Edge. This match is the first step for Carlito between him and Leap of Faith in which he will be involved in a huge match for his X Division Championship. Is Carlito’s mind on X-Rated or is his mind looking down the road and to his huge match up that is less than a 3 weeks away at Leap of Faith. I guess we will see what Carlito’s state of mind is on X-Rated when Carlito steps into the ring with Edge in their one on one encounter. Many questions will be answered at X-Rated and it’s always a possibility that Carlito will be speaking his mind in some shape, form, or fashion on X-Rated because that’s just the kind of guy that he is. One question however that will not have to be answered on Raw is…is Edge cool? That is a definite no, as Carlito has already said Edge is the furthest thing from cool because he is a freak…and in the King of Cool’s eyes…freaks aren’t cool. Since the fact Edge is not cool has been established there is only one thing left to make it a complete unarguable fact. And that will happen once Carlito spits an apple right in Edge's face…because that’s what Carlito does to people who choose not to be cool and Edge may not have chose to be uncool but that’s how everything with him has turned out…and that means things will not be looking cool for him on X-Rated, that’s for sure.
[[ Static. ]]
[[ Fade up ECE © logo. ]]
[[ The scene fades up and the camera is focusing on a man with his back to the camera. The hair on the man’s head gives it away as it is obviously Carlito Caribbean Cool…but what is this he is looking at? Because he appears to be completely focused on whatever it is and it appears to have his full attention. The camera switches angles and we finally see the thing that has Carlito’s attention is…a mirror. Carlito smiles a big smile as he continues to check his-self out in the mirror for a few more moments before he finally speaks. ]]
CARLITO CARIBBEAN COOL: Dis is what a real man looks like Edge…real men arent freaks…real men look like Carlito. Well actually…most men don’t look like Carlito…because Carlito is one sexy beast haha…But das not da point Carlito’s tryin’ to make…da point Carlito is tryin to make is da fact that Edge, you are a freak…you are an outcast…and most importantly, Edge…you’re not cool. Das jus how da cookie crumbles man’g…You jus don’t got it in you man’g…you jus don’t have what it takes to be…cool. An’ you also don’t have what it takes to step into da same ring with Carlito…Da only success you ever had was when you teamed with Christian…an’ das because he carried da team. You jus stood on da apron and looked goofy…oh wait…you would scream and make funny faces from time to time…I guess you think dat counts for somethin…dat doesn’t count for nothin, all your little actions did was prove...dat you’re an idiot. You want to call yourself da rated r superstar…well…Carlito calls you an idiot. People who are dumb enough to do da stuff you’ve done in your career…dey don’t belong in da wrestling ring…dey belong in da looney bin. Because clearly somethin’ is missin’ up stairs wit’chu man’g…da lights are on but nobodies home.
[[ Carlito makes his way out of wherever he was and back out to the outside and we appear to be at the beach. Carlito walks over to a hammock and plops down in it as he appears to be more relaxed than ever when suddenly his bodyguard Jesus’ makes his way into our picture looking a bit confused as he looks at Carlito taking it easy in the hammock. ]]
JESUS: Wh-what’s goin’ on man’g? Shouldn’t you be in da gym lifting some weights or doin’ some sort of work out? It’s not like you got da week off..
CARLITO CARIBBEAN COOL: Haha das funny Jesus’…das real funny man’g. Its jus like Carlito’s got da week off…das what Carlito thought when he saw dat he was facin’ dat punk Edge…why should Carlito sweat facin’ a punk like dat? Edge is not worth Carlito breakin’ a sweat and workin’ out…Edge isn’t worth anything as far as Carlito is concerned. All Edge is to Carlito…is in da way. An’ on X-Rated Carlito will be knockin’ him outta da way…and you know das cool. It may be getting close to Spring time…but with Carlito things could not be any cooler. Carlito is now less dan a month away from a huge opportunity to cement my legacy…and punks like Edge are not gonna knock Carlito off course. Carlito is gonna take care of business…and dat means Carlito is gonna spit in Edge's face…because Carlito lives up to everything dat he says and Carlito lives by da motto of spittin in da face of people who don’t want to be cool…and Edge is definitely not cool. So on X-Rated he better be getting ready for dis…
[[ Carlito sits up in his hammock and pulls an apple from his pocket and slowly takes a huge bite out of it. He chews on it for a couple of seconds before spitting all sorts of chunks of it at the camera as he smiles. ]]
CARLITO CARIBBEAN COOL: You see dat Edge …das your future man’g. Not only will you have mascara running all in your eyes because you’re a freak dat wears makeup…you will have Carlito’s apples all in your face you…uncool freak. Carlito is going to use you to prove a point…and dat point is not being cool will not be tolerated. Because Carlito thinks dat you’re a freak…and you know what? Freaks…dey’re not cool. And on X Rated Carlito is going to beat you so bad man’g…dat you actually finally realize dat you’re not cool and as stupid as you are…das gonna take a lot of beating. But hey…Carlito is up for da challenge…or lack dere of. Facing you is not going to be a challenge…das obvious by how not serious Carlito is treatin’ dis match…da only challenge in dis match is me challenging myself to see how badly I can beat da freakin’ crap out of you…you dumb greasy punk. Your hair…your clothes…nothing about you is cool man’g…and on X-Rated Carlito is going to give you a first hand lesson on what happens to people like you…dat chose to not be cool.
[[ Carlito smiles once again when he looks down at the beach and sees some very sexy ladies playing volleyball. Carlito stands up and starts to walk towards them when suddenly he turns to see Jesus’ close behind. ]]
CARLITO CARIBBEAN COOL: Jesus’…what are you doin’ man’g?
JESUS: Uh…I was going to go down there wit’chu to talk to da ladies…
CARLITO CARIBBEAN COOL: Jesus’…no offense man’g…but you don’t have much game with da ladies. I mean you’re an all right looking guy…but if you came down dere with Carlito you’d look second rate…jus like Edge is going to look in da ring with Carlito on X-Rated. I mean da ladies like people like Carlito who are cool…so you might want to save yourself da embarrassment man’g and jus…chill out.
JESUS: Come on Carlito…please.
CARLITO CARIBBEAN COOL: Okay fine whatever man’g…actually when Carlito thinks about it…you are going to make Carlito look even better dan he actually is…and I gotta admit…das cool.
[[ Carlito and Jesus’ walk on down to the beach as the ladies continue their game. Suddenly the ball gets knocked right over to them as Carlito bends down and picks it up and flashes a smile. ]]
CARLITO CARIBBEAN COOL: Hello dere’ ladies…I’m sure you know who I am…but in case you don’t…da names Cool…Carlito Cool.
[[ Carlito flashes a big smile as he says his name in a corny James Bond like matter as he tosses the ball back to one of the girls. ]]
TIFFANY: Thanks…yeah I know who you are…you’re facing Edge this week on X-Rated…right?
CARLITO CARIBBEAN COOL: Das right…and Carlito is going to beat da crap outta da dumb punk because Carlito knows cool…and punks like Edge…dey’re not cool. But you ladies…you definitely are coooool!
TIFFANY: Well thank you…personally I think Edge is pretty hot…he’s so bold and daring.
CARLITO CARIBBEAN COOL: Bold and daring…? Das a nice way of sayin dat he’s a freaking idiot. And he’s not hot…Carlito is hot…Carlito is one of da best looking men alive…Carlito’s still shocked dat he wasn’t on da list of da 100 most beautiful people…dat wasn’t cool.
TIFFANY: Riiight…well who is your friend…he’s a bit of a cutie too.
CARLITO CARIBBEAN COOL: Uhhh well ladies Carlito’s sorry but he and Jesus’ have got to go..
JESUS: No we don’t…
CARLITO CARIBBEAN COOL: Yeah we do you big idiot…you know we gotta do dat thing…and dat place. So I guess we’ll see you ladies later.
[[ Carlito turns and walks off as Jesus’ smiles at the girl before doing the same catching up with Carlito looking a bit disappointed that Carlito blocked him from getting with the girl.. ]]
JESUS: Why’d you do dat for man’g?
CARLITO CARIBBEAN COOL: Do what…what are you talkin about you big dumb goon?
JESUS: You blocked me from getting some action off of dat lady…
CARLITO CARIBBEAN COOL: Haha yeah das it Jesus’…you keep thinking dat man’g. Dose ladies were totally digging Carlito…but Carlito knows how to work da ladies…you always gotta leave dem wanting more man’g.
JESUS: Man’g dose girls wanted me...
CARLITO CARIBBEAN COOL: Yeah and Edge is a normal regular guy…seriously Jesus’ we have more important things to worry about dan da fact Carlito is better with da ladies dan you ever will be…so drop it man’g. Anyway…Edge you best be getting da books ready man’g…because Carlito is going to take you to school…da school of cool. And Carlito is at da head of da class…and you are somewhere at da back of da room…you wanna know what cool is? You’re lookin at it man’g. Carlito is Da King of Cool and dere ain’t noone das even close to bein in Carlito’s league. And on X-Rated you are gonna see dat first hand man’g when Carlito beats you black and blue and hopefully makes you realize...dat you’re not cool. Haha man Carlito is so witty jus another quality of mine das better than yours Batista. And on X-Rated when you step into da ring with Carlito you know full well what’s gonna happen man’g…you know what’s gonna happen because…
I SPIT IN DA FACE…OF PEOPLE…WHO DON’T WANT TO BE COOL!
[[ Carlito smiles as he takes another bite out of his apple as he walks out of the view with Jesus’ following slowly behind him. The scene then fades to black. ]]
[[ Fade up ECE© logo.
Uncool People: Edge[3x];James Storm,Chris Harris;..Johnny Stamboli..Steven Richards...Nunzio..Chuck Palumbo..RVD[3x]...Booker T..Chris Benoit...Batista...JBL[2x]..Al Snow..AJ Styles..Stone Cold Steve Austin..Lance Storm..Chris Jericho..Colt Cabana..Kurt Angle..
Cool Things: Television Champion[2x]..Most Humorous Award for June..Most Improved Award for August..
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