' Cooler Than Cool ' Carlito Caribbean Cool

ECE Achievements: Television Champion[1x]!

Match: Carlito vs John Cena]

ECE Record: W5 - L5 - D1~ Roleplay Number: #001

" The Defenition Of Cool! "



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" The Defenition Of Cool! "

 


The camera's turn on and we're in a lobby of some sorts. In the middle of the lobby stands Carlito Caribbean Cool, who is of course, ready to talk.

Carlito Caribbean Cool: Hello John Cena... Carlito bets you're wondering where he's at right now. Sit back, thug... Carlito will tell you.

Carlito is throwing his apple up in the air and catching it, repeating this as he talks every so often.

Carlito Caribbean Cool: Dis' is a place... Dat' Carlito strongly recommends you to coming to, John Cena. Das' right.. After Raw, whatever's left of you... Should come here. 'Cause dis' is a place, John Cena.. Dat' will be a road of recovery for you. Dis' is a place.. Dat' will make your life better. Carlito promises dat'. Dis' is a place, dat' will.. Dat' will make you... John Cena.... Talk better.

Carlito begins to move now, walking over to the wall. There's a sign there and it has a lot of different class types on it, including Mathematics, Science, but Carlito is pointing to one that has "Speech Lessons: Room 27" .. We're obviously in some sort of advanced school classes building.

Carlito Caribbean Cool: John Cena... Carlito knows you like rap and all, but there comes a time .. In some peoples lives, where dey' must give up.. Even da' things dey' love. Carlito is going to take one class today, John Cena... To show you how easy it is. Even you can do it, John Cena. Soon you won't have to rap... And you can act like what you really are... Not dat' it's anything special. Because Carlito knows.. With or without rapping, John Cena.... You will not... beat... Carlito. And das'.. Das' not only true, das' cool.

Carlito begins walking down the hall as we seem different doors with numbers on them, none of them say number 27 though.

Carlito Caribbean Cool: So John Cena, dis' is it.. Dis' is like walking down the ramp, getting ready to face Carlito on raw. Sure, you're scared... Scared of getting beat by Carlito... But the difference is when you enter the room, Carlito won't be dere to beat you senseless. So don't worry. Walk down to room 27... Take da' classes... And become a news reporter or somethin', and stay outta wrestling, John Cena. 'Cause if you don't take Carlito's advice.. Carlito says you're in for losing .. The rest of your career, John Cena... And Das' a promise.

Carlito stops and looks to the right and low and behold, room 27 is right there. Carlito grabs the knob and turns it slightly, then opens it up.. He steps in, and we see a class of about 4 people including the teacher of the class, who is an older woman. The other three are probably in their 30's or so.

'Speech Teacher': Welcome! You must be Carlito, is that correct?

Carlito Caribbean Cool: Das' correct.

'Speech Teacher': That's wonderful. Please take a seat and we can continue our class. Everybody, I'd like you to meet Carlito... Carlito, sitting right next to you is Rubert, Kenny and Johnston.

Carlito Caribbean Cool: Das' cool, das' cool.. Just don't touch Carlito.. He has a big match in a few days, he doesn't need any germs.

'Speech Teacher': Before you arrived here Carlito, we were practicing with some voice exercises. Everyone is different; So everyone will have their own unique exercise to begin... What will yours be?

Carlito Caribbean Cool: No, no, no... Don't get ahead of ya'self, ma'am.. Carlito ain't here for Carlito... Carlito is here for John Cena, his opponent on Raw. Dat is da only reason... To show John Cena dat' this class, is easier den' is sounds.. So go on with da' class, Carlito is watching.

The teacher doesn't look like she's buying it at all.

'Speech Teacher': Oh, I see. So you're entirely new, you're going to have to start out with the very first step.

Carlito Caribbean Cool: Whas' the first .. step?

'Speech Teacher': The first step, Carlito... Is admitting you have a problem. You will not pass this class if you do not know why you're here. You need to say it loud and proud, there's no shame in not being able to talk about your flaws.

Carlito Caribbean Cool: Flaws? You think Carlito has flaws? Listen here old hag... CARLITO DON'T HAVE FLAWS! John Cena.... Yeah, John Cena has flaws. CARLITO DOESN'T. Carlito is talented.. Carlito is skilled.. Carlito is everything John Cena wishes he could be. Carlito... CARLITO... IS COOL. John Cena is not.. Because John Cena is nothing but a thug, who needs 'dis class.. More den' Carlito.. got that, old lady?

The teacher is now just surprised, but a student begins to speak.

'Student #1' Rubert: Hay mon.. tha' iz not nice... You wanna figh Ms Jaclyn, YOU FIGH ME FIRS!!

'Speech Teacher': Rubert, I'm a grown woman, I can certainly stand up for myself... But what did I say? You need to sound out the T's too. Watch me.... Fight. It's that simple.. You try.

'Student #1' Rubert: Fi.... Figh...... Figh-tee.

'Speech Teacher': No, not "Figh" and then "Tee" .. Listen to me, watch... FIGHT.

'Student #1' Rubert: Figh...... Tee.

'Speech Teacher': .. Almost, but no, Rubert... Once more; FIGHT.

Carlito Caribbean Cool: ... Das' pathetic. Listen to Carlito... Da' old woman don't know what she's talkin' about... You want to learn how to say fight? Take it from a man.. Who will be in a fight in jus' a few days, against a man jus' like you. Relax... Loosen up... And let da' words just flow... Now say dis'... John Cena... Is going to lose .. Da' fight between him... and Carlito.. Das' it, das' simple.. Give it a try.

'Student #1' Rubert: John See-nah... Going to lose..... da figh... between him and Carleeyo.

Carlito Caribbean Cool: .... What did you call Carlito?!

Carlito stands up, looking like he wants to fight Rubert now!

'Speech Teacher': He can't help it right now, we need to take it slowly but surely right now, Carlito. And you're not the teacher, so sit down and become the student again, thank you.

Carlito Caribbean Cool: Carlito's gonna sit down.... But not because you told him to... But only 'cause Carlito only want to fight one time dis' week, and das' on Raw.. The one he's gonna win, without a shadow of a doubt... And das' cool. Das' very cool... 'Cause then, Carlito will be recognized.

'Speech Teacher': Anyways... Kenny, let's work on those R's.

'Student #3' Kenny: Alwight Ms. Jackielyn, I'mma all set fer werk!

'Speech Teacher': That's Jaclyn, Kenny.. Jaclyn. No "IE' at the end of "Jack". But let's start with a simple word... Take for instance, Carlito's name. Go ahead, say 'Carlito', Kenny.

'Student #3' Kenny: Uhhhhh... Cali... Califonda! What a beeeeeutality place that is!

'Speech Teacher': California?

'Student #3' Kenny: Yeah! Califondia!

'Speech Teacher': Okay, so say 'Carlito' please?

'Student #3' Kenny: That name... Sounds awfully like taco, and I like dem babies! Mmm.

Carlito stands up again, getting angry.

Carlito Caribbean Cool: Are you making fun of Carlito? Das' not cool... CARLITO DOESN'T LIKE IT.. WHEN PEOPLE MAKE FUN OF CARLITO.. AND CARLITO DOESN'T LIKE PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT COOL!

'Speech Teacher': Would you PLEASE sit down, Carlito? You're really disrupting my class today, now one more outburst will send you in the corner.

Carlito is getting angrier by the second it seems, but he sits down.

Carlito Caribbean Cool: .. Carlito's legs are tired, anyway...

'Speech Teacher': Okay, we're going to skip the R's today Kenny. Johnston, are you ready to talk?

'Student #3' Johnston: ...............

Johnston just sits there not saying a word, the teacher turns to Carlito to talk.

'Speech Teacher': We're not sure what his problem is. It could be bad speech but then again, I've never heard him speak. He's awfully silent.

Carlito Caribbean Cool: Den' why do you keep him for?

'Speech Teacher': His wife can't get him to speak either and she's trying to get me to make him talk again, but nothing I say will work.

Carlito Caribbean Cool: Carlito will get him to speak... Just wait and see.. As sure as Carlito is going to win on Raw... Carlito will make silence boy over dere' speak like he's never spoken before. Because Carlito.. He's cool like dat'.

Carlito stands up and walks over to Johnston, bending over slightly, with his apple in hand and beginning to speak in Johnston's face.

Carlito Caribbean Cool: So you don't talk, eh? Das' a good thing sometimes... 'Cause you see, Carlito's opponent John Cena... He can never stop talking'. Das' not cool. Cena goes on and on, about useless things.. Like how Carlito shouldn't waste his apples. Carlito... Carlito don't waste his apples.. Carlito likes apples, very much.. He spits them out, only because of people.... Who are not cool. You know what Carlito does to people who are not cool, Johnston? He takes dis' here apple... Takes a bite... Chews it, and then spits in the face of the person.. Who is not cool. Dat'll teach 'em, eh? Ya know something, big boy? Ya'no how Carlito determines... If people are cool or not? Carlito is good at finding out. People who disrespect Carlito are not cool..... John Cena and anyone like him... Are not cool..... And people who don't talk....... Are not ... Cool. So tell me something, Johnston... What does Carlito do to people.. Who are not cool? Don't you remember? ....... No answer? ... Carlito will tell you.. Carlito will tell you like he will tell John Cena again, on Raw......HE SPITS IN DA FACE OF PEOPLE WHO DONT WANT TO BE COOL!...COOL LIKE CARLITO...

Carlito moves the apple to his mouth, and takes a bite.. Johnston is looking on, watching him chew.... But suddenly....

'Student #3' Johnston: Ya better swallow dat' piece of apple, son, before I shove it down yer' throat.

Carlito blinks a few times, and swallows the apple, so he can speak.

Carlito Caribbean Cool: ... What did you say to Carlito?

'Student #3' Johnston: Ya heard what I said, bitch... Now you better get to steppin', get the hell out of my room .. Before I bitch smack your ass back to ECE, or whatever dat' place is called you wrestle at.

Carlito is staring at Johnston, noticing something.. similar to the way he's acting.

Carlito Caribbean Cool: ... Look at you .. Dress like him .. Talk somewhat like him .. Even your name has John in it. Das' not cool... You're a John Cena fan, aren't you? Das' not cool at all... Because Carlito don't like any of John Cena's fans... Nah, not at all... And you convinced Carlito, dat' dis' place.. is nothing but a big waste of Carlito's time. No one can talk normal in here... And you... You're just like Carlito's opponent. So before Carlito leaves.... Allow him to make an example, of his opponent on RAW...

Carlito acts as if he's going to take a bite of the apple, but he suddenly and quickly smacks the taste out of Johnston's mouth! He then takes a bite of the apple and spits it out in his face.

Carlito Caribbean Cool: ... Give John Cena dat' message ... And tell him da' winner of the match won't be him .. Tell him... Winner of da' match .. is gonna be Carlito ... Caribbean ... Cool.

Carlito smiles and then turns around, walking out of the room.. The camera then slowly fades off.

Static.


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Not As Cool (defeated):Edge;Battleroyal Participants;RVD...Booker T..Chris Benoit...Batista...JBL..

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