The camera's turn on and we're
in a lobby of some sorts. In the middle of the lobby stands Carlito
Caribbean Cool, who is of course, ready to talk.
Carlito Caribbean
Cool: Hello John Cena...
Carlito bets you're wondering where he's at right now. Sit back, thug...
Carlito will tell you.
Carlito is throwing his apple
up in the air and catching it, repeating this as he talks every so
often.
Carlito Caribbean
Cool: Dis' is a place... Dat'
Carlito strongly recommends you to coming to, John Cena. Das' right..
After Raw, whatever's left of you... Should come here. 'Cause
dis' is a place, John Cena.. Dat' will be a road of recovery for you. Dis'
is a place.. Dat' will make your life better. Carlito promises dat'. Dis'
is a place, dat' will.. Dat' will make you... John Cena.... Talk better.
Carlito begins to move now,
walking over to the wall. There's a sign there and it has a lot of
different class types on it, including Mathematics, Science, but Carlito
is pointing to one that has "Speech Lessons: Room 27" .. We're obviously
in some sort of advanced school classes building.
Carlito Caribbean
Cool: John Cena... Carlito
knows you like rap and all, but there comes a time .. In some peoples
lives, where dey' must give up.. Even da' things dey' love. Carlito is
going to take one class today, John Cena... To show you how easy it is.
Even you can do it, John Cena. Soon you won't have to rap... And you can
act like what you really are... Not dat' it's anything special. Because
Carlito knows.. With or without rapping, John Cena.... You will not...
beat... Carlito. And das'.. Das' not only true, das' cool.
Carlito begins walking down
the hall as we seem different doors with numbers on them, none of them say
number 27 though.
Carlito Caribbean
Cool: So John Cena, dis' is
it.. Dis' is like walking down the ramp, getting ready to face Carlito on
raw. Sure, you're scared... Scared of getting beat by
Carlito... But the difference is when you enter the room, Carlito won't be
dere to beat you senseless. So don't worry. Walk down to room 27... Take
da' classes... And become a news reporter or somethin', and stay outta
wrestling, John Cena. 'Cause if you don't take Carlito's advice.. Carlito
says you're in for losing .. The rest of your career, John Cena... And
Das' a promise.
Carlito stops and looks to the
right and low and behold, room 27 is right there. Carlito grabs the knob
and turns it slightly, then opens it up.. He steps in, and we see a class
of about 4 people including the teacher of the class, who is an older
woman. The other three are probably in their 30's or so.
'Speech
Teacher': Welcome! You must be Carlito, is that correct?
Carlito Caribbean
Cool: Das' correct.
'Speech
Teacher': That's wonderful. Please take a seat and we can continue our class.
Everybody, I'd like you to meet Carlito... Carlito, sitting right next to
you is Rubert, Kenny and Johnston.
Carlito Caribbean
Cool: Das' cool, das' cool..
Just don't touch Carlito.. He has a big match in a few days, he doesn't
need any germs.
'Speech
Teacher': Before you arrived here Carlito, we were practicing with some voice
exercises. Everyone is different; So everyone will have their own unique
exercise to begin... What will yours be?
Carlito Caribbean
Cool: No, no, no... Don't get
ahead of ya'self, ma'am.. Carlito ain't here for Carlito... Carlito is
here for John Cena, his opponent on Raw. Dat is da only
reason... To show John Cena dat' this class, is easier den' is sounds.. So
go on with da' class, Carlito is watching.
The teacher doesn't look like
she's buying it at all.
'Speech
Teacher': Oh, I
see. So you're entirely new, you're going to have to start out with the
very first step.
Carlito Caribbean
Cool: Whas' the first .. step?
'Speech
Teacher': The
first step, Carlito... Is admitting you have a problem. You will not pass
this class if you do not know why you're here. You need to say it loud and
proud, there's no shame in not being able to talk about your flaws.
Carlito Caribbean
Cool: Flaws? You think Carlito
has flaws? Listen here old hag... CARLITO DON'T HAVE FLAWS! John Cena....
Yeah, John Cena has flaws. CARLITO DOESN'T. Carlito is talented.. Carlito
is skilled.. Carlito is everything John Cena wishes he could be.
Carlito... CARLITO... IS COOL. John Cena is not.. Because John Cena is
nothing but a thug, who needs 'dis class.. More den' Carlito.. got that,
old lady?
The teacher is now just
surprised, but a student begins to speak.
'Student #1'
Rubert: Hay
mon.. tha' iz not nice... You wanna figh Ms Jaclyn, YOU FIGH ME FIRS!!
'Speech
Teacher': Rubert, I'm a grown woman, I can certainly stand up for myself...
But what did I say? You need to sound out the T's too. Watch me.... Fight.
It's that simple.. You try.
'Student #1'
Rubert: Fi....
Figh...... Figh-tee.
'Speech
Teacher': No,
not "Figh" and then "Tee" .. Listen to me, watch... FIGHT.
'Student #1'
Rubert: Figh...... Tee.
'Speech
Teacher': ..
Almost, but no, Rubert... Once more; FIGHT.
Carlito Caribbean
Cool: ... Das' pathetic.
Listen to Carlito... Da' old woman don't know what she's talkin' about...
You want to learn how to say fight? Take it from a man.. Who will be in a
fight in jus' a few days, against a man jus' like you. Relax... Loosen
up... And let da' words just flow... Now say dis'... John Cena... Is going
to lose .. Da' fight between him... and Carlito.. Das' it, das' simple..
Give it a try.
'Student #1'
Rubert: John
See-nah... Going to lose..... da figh... between him and Carleeyo.
Carlito Caribbean
Cool: .... What did you call
Carlito?!
Carlito stands up, looking
like he wants to fight Rubert now!
'Speech
Teacher': He
can't help it right now, we need to take it slowly but surely right now,
Carlito. And you're not the teacher, so sit down and become the student
again, thank you.
Carlito Caribbean
Cool: Carlito's gonna sit
down.... But not because you told him to... But only 'cause Carlito only
want to fight one time dis' week, and das' on Raw.. The one he's gonna win, without a shadow of a doubt... And das'
cool. Das' very cool... 'Cause then, Carlito will be recognized.
'Speech
Teacher': Anyways... Kenny, let's work on those R's.
'Student #3'
Kenny: Alwight
Ms. Jackielyn, I'mma all set fer werk!
'Speech
Teacher': That's Jaclyn, Kenny.. Jaclyn. No "IE' at the end of "Jack". But
let's start with a simple word... Take for instance, Carlito's name. Go
ahead, say 'Carlito', Kenny.
'Student #3'
Kenny: Uhhhhh... Cali... Califonda! What a beeeeeutality place that
is!
'Speech
Teacher': California?
'Student #3'
Kenny: Yeah!
Califondia!
'Speech
Teacher': Okay,
so say 'Carlito' please?
'Student #3'
Kenny: That
name... Sounds awfully like taco, and I like dem babies! Mmm.
Carlito stands up again,
getting angry.
Carlito Caribbean
Cool: Are you making fun of
Carlito? Das' not cool... CARLITO DOESN'T LIKE IT.. WHEN PEOPLE MAKE FUN
OF CARLITO.. AND CARLITO DOESN'T LIKE PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT COOL!
'Speech
Teacher': Would
you PLEASE sit down, Carlito? You're really disrupting my class today, now
one more outburst will send you in the corner.
Carlito is getting angrier by
the second it seems, but he sits down.
Carlito Caribbean
Cool: .. Carlito's legs are
tired, anyway...
'Speech
Teacher': Okay,
we're going to skip the R's today Kenny. Johnston, are you ready to
talk?
'Student #3'
Johnston: ...............
Johnston just sits there not
saying a word, the teacher turns to Carlito to talk.
'Speech
Teacher': We're
not sure what his problem is. It could be bad speech but then again, I've
never heard him speak. He's awfully silent.
Carlito Caribbean
Cool: Den' why do you keep him
for?
'Speech
Teacher': His
wife can't get him to speak either and she's trying to get me to make him
talk again, but nothing I say will work.
Carlito Caribbean
Cool: Carlito will get him to
speak... Just wait and see.. As sure as Carlito is going to win on Raw... Carlito will make silence boy over dere' speak
like he's never spoken before. Because Carlito.. He's cool like dat'.
Carlito stands up and walks
over to Johnston, bending over slightly, with his apple in hand and
beginning to speak in Johnston's face.
Carlito Caribbean
Cool: So you don't talk, eh?
Das' a good thing sometimes... 'Cause you see, Carlito's opponent John
Cena... He can never stop talking'. Das' not cool. Cena goes on and on,
about useless things.. Like how Carlito shouldn't waste his apples.
Carlito... Carlito don't waste his apples.. Carlito likes apples, very
much.. He spits them out, only because of people.... Who are not cool. You
know what Carlito does to people who are not cool, Johnston? He takes dis'
here apple... Takes a bite... Chews it, and then spits in the face of the
person.. Who is not cool. Dat'll teach 'em, eh? Ya know something, big
boy? Ya'no how Carlito determines... If people are cool or not? Carlito is
good at finding out. People who disrespect Carlito are not cool..... John
Cena and anyone like him... Are not cool..... And people who don't
talk....... Are not ... Cool. So tell me something, Johnston... What does
Carlito do to people.. Who are not cool? Don't you remember? ....... No
answer? ... Carlito will tell you.. Carlito will tell you like he will
tell John Cena again, on Raw......HE SPITS IN DA FACE OF PEOPLE WHO DONT WANT TO BE COOL!...COOL LIKE CARLITO...

Carlito moves the apple to his
mouth, and takes a bite.. Johnston is looking on, watching him chew....
But suddenly....
'Student #3'
Johnston: Ya
better swallow dat' piece of apple, son, before I shove it down yer'
throat.
Carlito blinks a few times,
and swallows the apple, so he can speak.
Carlito Caribbean
Cool: ... What did you say to
Carlito?
'Student #3'
Johnston: Ya
heard what I said, bitch... Now you better get to steppin', get the hell
out of my room .. Before I bitch smack your ass back to ECE, or whatever
dat' place is called you wrestle at.
Carlito is staring at
Johnston, noticing something.. similar to the way he's acting.
Carlito Caribbean
Cool: ... Look at you .. Dress
like him .. Talk somewhat like him .. Even your name has John in it. Das'
not cool... You're a John Cena fan, aren't you? Das' not cool at all...
Because Carlito don't like any of John Cena's fans... Nah, not at all...
And you convinced Carlito, dat' dis' place.. is nothing but a big waste of
Carlito's time. No one can talk normal in here... And you... You're just
like Carlito's opponent. So before Carlito leaves.... Allow him to make an
example, of his opponent on RAW...
Carlito acts as if he's going
to take a bite of the apple, but he suddenly and quickly smacks the taste
out of Johnston's mouth! He then takes a bite of the apple and spits it
out in his face.
Carlito Caribbean
Cool: ... Give John Cena dat'
message ... And tell him da' winner of the match won't be him .. Tell
him... Winner of da' match .. is gonna be Carlito ... Caribbean ... Cool.
Carlito smiles and then turns
around, walking out of the room.. The camera then slowly fades
off.
Static.