Yeah, okay, so I sorta ripped this style off of the TV show "24," I know. So sue me!

(Scenes of various cWa footage fill the screen, most specifically, scenes involving that little b*tch-brat, Laura. She can be seen doing various moves and even is shown nailing Tiffany Cross with a trashcan lid during their mini-"standoff" last week. All this is on the screen as Laura narrates the following.)

Laura: Right now I'm being viewed as a potential star in the making. I have the brains, the athletic ability, and my lifestyle is involved in both. I'm CWA wrestler Laura, and this is the greatest time of my life.

(The screen fades to black as the following words appear on the screen while Laura narrates them.)

The following takes place

between 10 AM and 1 PM, on the Wednesday

the week of the Laura-Tiffany Cross match.

(The words fade out and the new scene fades in, a clock on the bottom ticking 10:00:00...01...02...03, and we find that we are in the midst of a raging college scene...okay, so maybe not quite "raging" but there ARE tons of college students and they ARE all over the place. Seeing this sort of setting, it's only obvious that we're in the right spot to find our own Laura. But where, oh where is she at? A-ha! Found her! Sitting at a green picnic-like table reading a novel and smoking a cigarette. She's dressed in a purple windbreaker, blue jeans, black Adidas shoes, with her hair down and not styled in any sort of special way.)

Laura: Oh lord, whatever am I gonna do? (she sighs, then marks her page and closes her book before setting it down on the table in front of her) I am just in such a hot streak it's unbelievable! I'm telling you it's time for me to make my mark---which reminds me. (She puts her cigarette out in the grass below, then stands up holding onto her book and starts looking around. Apparently not seeing who/what she wants to, Laura starts taking a few slow steps.) Damn--where is that Janice? Supposed to get going here!

(As Laura continues searching for Janice, the scene slowly shrinks and goes into the upper lefthand corner of the screen as a new scene pops on the screen in the lower right corner. This scene consists of, basically, the Xcel Energy Center, located in St. Paul, MN. Though not for some sporting event--rather there is a small table set up in front of the building with a blue tablecloth over it. There are a couple security guards close by, meaning some sort of celebrity must be coming in. This scene now takes up the entire screen, and we can hear the guards talking.)

Guard 1: You gonna be ready for a long afternoon?

Guard 2: Ready as I'm gonna get. Besides, what makes this afternoon any different from other autograph sessions we've done before?

Guard 1: Because this one is going to be bringing in hundreds upon hundreds of dozens of people here. Mostly from the teenage girl demographic, but there'll probably be a good number of guys there as well.

Guard 2: Oh? Why's that? Some young pop singer?

Guard 1:No, a pro wrestler named Tiffany Cross.

Guard 2: Never heard of her.

Guard 1: Can't say that I have either, but from what I've seen and heard about from some of her past signings, we better be ready for a big and possibly rowdy crowd.

Guard 2: Ah, yes, the wrestling fan. Why can't they ever be tame and peaceful?

Guard 1: (amid a small laugh) I don't know. All I can really say is to stand your ground though. These signings are usually pretty good, but a couple rowdy fans can get into it. Rare that it happens, but just warning you in case.

(The other guard nods his head in understanding as more guards and a few other people involved with the signing come over to the two and begin getting into a "briefing meeting" of sorts about procedures for the signing session. This scene then shrinks back into the lower right corner of the screen as two other scenes come appear on the screen. In the upper left is another scene dealing with Laura, although this time she is now in a car, in the passenger seat, and seated next to her is her red-headed buddy Janice. We can see her smile and apparently she's having a good time of sorts being driven to where ever she's headed. In the middle of the screen sits the third scene, featuring Tiffany Cross! She is seen doing her hair rather quickly, probably in a rush to leave for the arena for her signing session, scheduled for noon. She turns around from facing a mirror and ends up looking right at a representative of hers. The two start chatting but before we can tell what's all going on, a clock comes on the screen, the 3 scenes all disappearing.)

10:15:35.....

:36.....

:37.....

:38.....

(The clock fades away and the scene we get is that of Laura in the car with her buddy Janice. Okay, so I lied, the clock isn't totally gone, it's just at the bottom of the screen again as it was earlier, now ticking away at 11:30:18....:19....:20 before COMPLETELY disappearing. Janice is wearing a purple Minnesota Vikings baseball cap with the white horn from the side of the helmet being the logo on the cap's front, her red hair going out the back of the cap in a ponytail. She is also wearing a hooded sweatshirt "promoting" the Winona State women's basketball team, along with jeans and a pair of sandals with no socks on her feet. Laura, of course, is still in her same fare as when we saw her before but now holds in her lap a blue plastic bag filled with some stuff.)

Laura: You DO know where you're headed, right?

Janice: Uh....YAAA! DUH! I've lived in Minneapolis for my whole life, I think I've gone to St. Paul a couple times before.

Laura: Okay, good. Just that you smoke so much Mary-Jane...and what they say about that and memory loss.

Janice: Yeah, yeah, whatever. I know where I'm going. TRUST ME CHICA! (laughs)

Laura: I just don't want miss out on this. Tiffany Cross right out in the wide open. In front of fans. Having fun....and THIS time I know about it well in advance. (snickers)

Janice: What is it with you and her??

Laura: She thinks she's such a hot-shot just because she's the darling, the apple of the eye, of the owner of the CWA. She gets a couple wins and suddenly Tiffany Cross has become so myopic of herself that it's really ridiculous. Everything she's said is absolutely off the wall. Her claims have no legs to stand on.

Janice: Didn't you do enough last week though?

Laura: That my friend---was chump change. This time I'm fully prepared for Tiffany. Last week I got wind of it about 15 minutes before I got on the scene. I'm ready to show her what she really is in the world of wrestling. She's getting her butt beaten in in the ring on Saturday, yeah, but this is different. This is going to show her what a true superstar can do.

Janice: Leave her alone! She's a good kid!

Laura: Shove it! (turns her head away from Janice and pouts before starting to talk to herself.) Cripes, two years ago when I was 19...I had gotten a belt within my first month of EVER being in the ring. What's she got? Just a bunch of jokes with her so-called career as the subject. No Doubt isn't just the name of a rock group, it's my thinking about if I can get her to become as embarassed in that ring as someone who's been stripped naked in front of thousands of people.

Janice: What specifically is your problem with her anyways?

Laura: (turns back towards Janice) She's so young and so egotistical. Thinks she's the sh*t, that she's unbeatable. That's preposterous! She hasn't faced me yet one-on-one. She doesn't know what it's like to be in the ring with someone who really has a grip on what to do inside of that ring. I may not be super-skilled, but I'm super-resiliant and super-smart. She's just another dumb wannabe who's getting lucky off her looks. The truth of Tiffany Cross's failures and lies about her abilities will be apparent and shining as luminous as a supergiant star for all to see. She'll be on the ground crying like a kid all alone in the middle of an aisle at the supermarket who lost her mommy while I'll be standing over her, looking as proud as ever. As great as ever. Once again showing just WHY I am the future of this nation and the Queen of Wrestling. That's the thing about being at the top of the mountain, you get many-a-challenge, some from people worthy of being me, others from people wishing they could just be in the same income tax class as me. Tiffany Cross is 100% sloth and she's going to end up as limp as one after she's faced the on-coming car that is me in our "highway" of a match. The blood and the guts that you sometimes see next to a piece of fresh roadkill? Tiffany amounts to that...in my book anyways.

(With a switch in scenery back to the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul comes our ticking clock at the bottom of the screen---12:03:45....:46....:47.... The autograph session is underway and just as expected, a plentiful turnout has arrived. Tiffany is up at the foreseen table, with the security guards on both sides, wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey, jeans, and of course---a smile. Fans are lined up for at least two blocks in total length, with the line curving here and there at various points. As expected, most in line are teenage girls and younger still preteen girls. We catch up with Tiffany as a fan, about 8 years of age with her mother, approach the table. The fan looks on in a sort of awe.)

Child: Oh my gosh! MY HERO!!

Mother: What do you say Melanie?

Child: Miss Tiffany...c-c-can I have your auto-gwaph?

(Tiffany gives a wide smile to the youngster while quickly shooting a glance to the mother that seems to say, "What a cute kid." The mother gives Tiffany a smile in return as Tiffany picks up one of her pictures on the table and starts signing it.)

Tiffany: Now, what's your name again?

Child: Melanie!

Tiffany: Okay then....here you go! (gives another smile as she gives the picture to Melanie)

Mother: What do you say now, Mel?

Melanie: Thank you Tiff-ee-ny!

Tiffany: You most certainly are welcome!

(The mother and child pass by as Tiffany lets out a small chuckle at seeing the glee in little Melanie's eyes as she was able to meet her hero. Up next--some more small girls, but we again are receiving of multiple views: The view of Tiffany goes to the top of the screen, while a second view of Tiffany, from a left-side profile view of her, is on the left side of the screen, while a third view of Tiffany, given from a fan's standpoint about 50 feet away and in line, takes up the right side of the screen. Obviously, all scenes show the same thing, just from different viewpoints. That "same thing" is Tiffany meeting and greeting the next set of fans to come her way. But before we get too far with this, the screen blackens as that clock appears on the screen again ticking away.)

12:09:32....

:33....

:34....

:35....

(Fading back in, we are presented with the same three scenes as we had before, only now with different people at the table receiving Tiffany's autograph as it is now 12:45:06...:07...:08... We again return to the the front-on view of Tiffany as we had before as a group of 4 young women approach the table. One of the women is totally ready for this event, decked out in a Tiffany Cross t-shirt, the letters CWA across her face in red, with a CWA baseball cap on her head turned backwards. The other 3 women have Cross shirts on as well, but lack the facepaint and cap.)

Tiffany: Someone is sure ready for this!

Superfan: Oh my GAWSH! This is so cool! I am actually meeting Tiffany Cross! Candy, you get her autograph first, I just want to admire Tiff in her glory.

Tiffany: A friend of yours I take it? All of you come down together? (starts signing and passing out her pictures)

Candy: Actually, no. We all came from different parts of the state and we met each other in line. This here is Emily (Points to a lady in glasses to her left) and this (points to Emily's left) is Trina. That superfan there is Amanda. She's really into this stuff.

Tiffany: Well we all have our tastes, don't we?

(makes a motion for Amanda to come over and get her picture. Amanda comes to the table and doing so, reaches into her pocket and pulls out a one-time use camera and gives it to Trina.)

Amanda: Um...Tiffany...would you be willing to have a picture taken with me? I'd be so lucky!

Tiffany: Sure! Anything for a fan!

(she gets up and heads just to the right of the table as Trina sets up to take the picture. Amanda gets next to Tiffany, both smile, and the picture is snapped, but before Tiffany can sit down, Amanda puts her right hand up. Candy and Emily begin voicing their displeasure as they want to get going.)

Amanda: If it wouldn't be too much trouble, could you possibly quickly give me a small hug?

Tiffany: Oh, what the heck.

(Amanda opens her arms as Tiff does the same. Amanda takes a step towards Tiffany----HEY! What the heck---? Amanda just booted Tiffany Cross right in the gut! As Tiff hunches over gasping for air, Amanda lifts her right knee and connects it with Tiffany's face! The fans nearby began screaming and scattering as Amanda turns around and removes her cap, quickly spits in her hand and wipes her face before turning back around---WAIT A SECOND! IT'S LAURA!! It's been Laura in disguise the whole time, not "Amanda!" DAMN IT! Laura quickly shrugs off security and again heads for Cross, now hunched over the table. Laura quickly locks her hands together behind Tiffany's neck, with Tiff in a full-nelson and then Laura sweeps her right foot around Tiff's left leg...4.0 THROUGH THE TABLE!! That damn brat Laura ruined this whole afternoon! Someone needs to get ahold of her and give her some damn discipline! Laura now stands over the bloodied Cross, lying face up but out cold. NOW WHAT? Hasn't she done enough? Apparently not, as Laura now begins puckering up her lips. For a kiss? NO! In thought? Nope. She begins working her jaw, opens her lips, not her mouth-just her lips, and slowly yet surely out comes a long, oozing, disgusting line of SPIT! After about 5 seconds Laura has run out of "fuel" and thus has left Tiffany with a bloodied head and, now, in a puddle of "Laura goober" as well!)

Laura: Like that? HUH? LIKE IT!? (starts stomping the unconscious Cross now, three times, once for each of the next three words) BITE....MY....CLIT! Still think you're the big shot now? THIS is what you get for crossing me, Cross! And it's just the start....wait until Saturday. THEN the fun begins!

(Laura looks around semi-frantically, then spots Tiff's chair. OH NO! She hurries over and picks it up, folds it up, then holds it over her head. NO, NO---SOMEONE STOP THIS----CLANG!! SON OF A B*TCH! Laura just whacked that chair over Tiffany's face! What a cruel act! Laura just stands over the top of Tiffany with a look of disgust on her face as the scene fades to the clock.)

12:59:57....

:58....

:59....

1:00:00

(clock fades, THE END)