IN MEMORY OF DARRYL KILE, ST. LOUIS CARDINALS PITCHER, WHO PASSED AWAY UNEXPECTEDLY ON 6/22.

(We fade in and find ourself in a spot rather commonplace for the CWA of late….the front room of Laura’s apartment. Setting the scene: The television up against the back wall of the room, mounted upon a shiny oak drawer, is off. Across the tan carpeting of the room and on, or more specifically lying on, the white sofa there is Laura’s friend and roommate Janice. She has on a yellow tank top and black shorts and is barefooted. Her red hair is down and kinda looks like a mess, not that she really cares though. Right now she has her eyes closed and hands folded across her stomach and looks like she is taking a nap. Straight from our view is the sliding glass door enterance of the room, which would be on the left-hand wall if we were viewing this from the main enterance to the room. Going by this glass door is a figure, but it goes by too quickly so we don’t know if it’s a male or female, just that yes, it IS a human! Within a moment there is a knock at the main door. Janice is semi-startled and slowly opens her eyes. She turns on her right side and looks at the door tiredly.)

Janice: Was that the door?

(She shrugs, not hearing another knock right away and lays back flat on her back and closes her eyes again when another sudden knocking awakens her. This time she gets up and after rubbing her eyes, opens the door.

Tiffany: Hello Janice, wheres that no good lying piece of scum friend of yours at?

(Janice starts scratching the back of her head with her left hand, not knowing what’s going on or even who’s at the door as her eyes are only about halfway open.)

Janice: Huh?----Wh-who are you?

Tiffany: You dont know who I am? Were you sleeping the last 20 years? I am Tiffany Cross, the CWA world champion. I have a present for Laura. May i come in?

(Janice tries going over what was just said quietly, but when she reaches the name “Tiffany Cross” she perks up like she received an instant jolt of caffeine!)

Janice: Oh my GOD! I’m SO sorry I didn’t recognize you! You are my ultimate hero! Sure, sure---come on in! (motions for Cross to enter)

Tiffany, who is wearing a pair of black baggy jeans, a black Sacremento Kings jersey of Chris Webber on top of a black t-shirt and her long blonde hair is down to her shoulders, walks in and shuts the door behind her.

Tiffany: I am suprised, i thought i would get a cold reception from you being that you are Laura's roomate.

Janice: Are you KIDDING!? You are my absolute favorite! I love everything you say and do. Besides---Laura’s a massive dick. I was SO hoping you would have beaten her in order to shut her mouth. (quietly to herself, like some 5-year-old in awe) Man, Tiffany Cross in MY apartment room!

Tiffany: Thanks Janice, that means a lot to me. I should have broken Laura's neck but my brother for whatever reason, attacked me and costed me the match. Laura may have won a battle, but i am way way way WAY ahead in the war.

Janice: And I can’t wait for you to win! Take it from me, someone who lives with that bitch, Laura is at least twice as annoying around here than she is at your wrestling events and to you. So what are you doing here?

Tiffany: Well, i wanted to give Laura a present to cheer her up in light of her recent troubles. You know, everyone finding out that she really didn’t do all those great things in track and stuff without help from taking some sort of drug.

(Tiffany and Janice head for the dining room table and Tiffany pulls out a bag from her back pocket. She sets the bag on the table. Inside the bag are one can of dog food and some dog biscuits. Janice nearly loses it, doing a sort of dry spit-take before cracking up big-time!! When she settles down, she asks a question to Tiffany)

Janice: Oh please, please, please let me give these to her!

Tiffany: Be my guest but once she gets here, you might want to stand to the side, it may get messy.

(At that moment, the unlocking of the front door can be heard and both Janice and Tiffany look at each other knowing who’s on the other side of the door. Laura enters into the front room, but as Janice and Tiffany have made their into the dining room, she doesn’t see them as she enters in her blue shorts, blue top and black flip-flop sandals.)

Janice: You wanna hide or something?

Tiffany: Lets just stand here until she sees us. I can’t wait to see the look on her face.

(Laura slides off her sandals and starts sifting through a couple things by the door then stops and stands back up straight and turns around. Guess who she sees in the dining room? You’ve got two guesses! She sees Janice standing with Tiffany and a quick glare of pure anger and hatred comes across Laura’s face. But instead of charging, she just takes a slow, intimidating walk towards the two young women.)

Janice: Hey LauRoo! Would you like to meet my new friend?

Laura: (to Janice) Don’t even start with me little girl. (looking Tiffany straight in the eye) What are YOU doing here? Haven’t caused me enough Hell??

Tiffany: Not yet you bow-legged banshee. But i did bring you a present and then we are going to have us a long chat and depending on the mood, i may just end up leaving here without your dental work ending up on the floor.

Janice: Yeah, here Laura! (Janice turns and picks up the bag of dog food and dog biscuits and in a motherly tone, starts mocking Laura again, first taking out the can of food) Does somebody want their food? Huh? Have we been a good girl today? Sit! Oh, you won’t sit? (reaches in and pulls out the dog biscuits) Then you won’t get your tweat! Yum-yum! Who wants a doggy tweat? Does Lau-wa want a doggy tweat? Yes she does!

(This is really is NOT cool with Laura as she again looks at Janice and now appears to be right on the brink of literally boiling over. Her face is completely red and she can barely contain herself)

Tiffany: Now Laura, dont you even think aboot doing anything to my friend Janice because if you even so much as think that, i will put my foot so far up your ass that you will regurgitate my sock! Now lets talk aboot Strikezone where you did win, i will give you that....you pinned me but lets not forget how. My own brother attacked me and costed me the match. Now you are already in enough hot water with your cheating in college and the Olympics.....dont make it worse....at least admit to the truth for once in your miserable little life.

Janice: (still in her mocking babytalk tone) Be a good doggy and don’t growl or you won’t get your yum-yum tweat!

(Unfortunately for Janice, that comment went too far. Laura quickly hunches down and SPEARS Janice right in gut and onto the table, sending various papers that had been on the table flying to floor. Laura climbs up the little bit needed in order to get in Janice’s face.)

Laura: Don’t you ever, EVER talk to me in that tone of voice again!

(She now places her right hand around Janice’s neck in a sort of “death grip” and slowly begins cinching it in. Janice begins gasping for air.)

Janice: Laura---Laura stop it! You’re choking me!!

(Tiffany grabs Laura making her let go and Janice and rips her off of Janice and knees Laura in the gut before grabbing her by the hair and throwing her against the refrigerator hard. Tiffany ties her hair in a ponytail as she prepares to do more to Laura.)

Tiffany: I warned you aboot that didn’t I? Get your ass up!

(Tiffany grabs Laura and punches her a couple of times in the head before leading her into the living room where she throws Laura against the wall there.)

(Tiffany goes and checks on Janice.)

Tiffany: Are you okay Janice?

Janice: (after coughing hard a couple times) Yeah…I’ll be fine in a bit. Just need to (coughs again) get some air back. (takes a deep breath) Thank you so much for doing that for me!

Tiffany: Anytime Janice, go and get some air and i will teach Laura a lesson.

(Tiffany goes into the living room where Laura is trying to get to her feet. Tiffany grabs Laura by her hair and painfully drags her over to a couch and throws her on it.)

Tiffany: What the hell do you think you are doing? I should break your neck for that stunt!!

( Laura tries to get up but Tiffany puts her foot on her chest and pushes her back down.)

Tiffany: Stay down Lassie, i didnt say i was done with you!!

(Laura just looks up at Tiffany and mouths a silent profanity towards her. Just when it looks like Tiffany is about to strike her again, Laura, with her right knee, nails, I mean just NAILS Tiffany below the belt! Hey, desperate women do desperate things, don’t they? Tiffany falls to the ground next to the couch as Laura regains her energy and gets up and towers over Cross.)

Laura: Think you’re some hotshot? Let me tell you something- you got a mouth on you little girl, and that needs to change.

(SMACK! Woah! Laura just gave a stiff slap across the face to our champion!)

(Tiffany holds her face for a moment in pain before standing back up with a punch to Laura's gut that causes Laura to double over. Tiffany delivers a superkick to Laura knocking her down and then she grabs a vase thats full of water and pours it all over Laura's head. Tiffany then breaks the vase on Laura's back causing great pain.)

Tiffany:You insignificant little rodent. You cannot defeat me. Do you think i woke up one day became the world Champ at a whim? You are weak and must be assimilated!!

Laura: How dare you treat me like the animal that YOU are!? I am better than this! You are low and I am high. You are an “F” and I am an “A.” Don’t get started using those large vocabulary words there child---may end up saying something you didn’t want to say all because you were trying to look smart. I think you look like a fool.

Tiffany: You think i look like a fool? This coming from someone laying on the floor of her own home soaked and wet....Yah Laura...SUUUUUUURE!!! You’re real smart. But i want you to listen and listen good, this is between me and you..if you ever screw with Janice again, then i would suggest that you retire from the CWA and move to Siberia because i will come for you and i will break you in half. Do I make myself clear?

(Tiffany grabs the DVD player and throws it against the wall smashing in in many pieces. Laura doesn’t take too well to that though.)

Laura: You BITCH!! That’s MINE!! (She tries getting up but once fully straightens out the pain in her back from the vase shot kicks in) OOOOOOWWWWW!! My back! (Laura slumps back down on the ground)

(Tiffany grabs a baseball bat that is sitting up against the wall and walks over to the huge HDTV television and smashes the screen out destroying the expensive TV.)

Tiffany: You miserable little insect, i told you that i was far more superior than you. You can have the great grades, but i will always have the advantage over you, from now until the day you die. Why can’t you see that you are no match for me? You can’t stop me from tearing up your place, you can’t stop me from hurting you. Why punish yourself Laura? It doesnt have to be this way. If only you would open your eyes and see the bigger picture. I dont like hurting people and destroying their property, so give it up already okay?

(Laura knows she can’t possibly fight back at Tiffany now, her back is killing her. She can only hope her verbal tirades can get Tiffany to stop)

Laura: You know---some of that stuff is Janice’s. And I don’t know WHAT you’re gaining by destroying all this stuff anyways. I’ll just go to the Best Buy and get more. You gonna keep coming over here every week to on an electronics rampage? THAT’S so mature isn’t it? Grow up!

Tiffany: I wont come over here every week destroying stuff and i know you can buy more but the reason i am doing this is to send you a message. If you challenge my power, you shall be destroyed, its as simple as that. Your back hurts bad doesnt it?

(Tiffany steps partly on Laura's back and she yelps in pain. Tiffany steps back off and begins speaking again.)

Tiffany: Look at me Laura, i did this to you! Me, Tiffany Cross, the CWA world champion. I could end your future right here Laura. Do you even know what its like to wield such power? No because you are weak as a kitten, you are like baby shit, you have no solid foundation and you stink. Get up you troll!!

Laura: I CAN’T GET UP!! Or did you forget that already you dumb bumf*ck? I don’t know how you’ve managed to gain an advantage on me so often but you rest assure of this you little 3rd-grader….I WILL get you again in that ring and I WILL beat you again. And oh yeah---I WILL make sure to disgrace you worse than I did with that fake picture of you.

(Tiffany steps on Laura's back again and she yelps out in pain before stepping off.)

Tiffany: You just don’t learn do you Laura? You will be destroyed by your own quest for selfishness and greatness, and the sad part is that you will never attain greatness because you are not strong enough. Look at you, you are stuck on the floor, can’t get up. You are pitiful Laura. I wonder what Janice thinks of you being on the floor? Will you sleep down there?

(That comment makes Laura want to get back up, just to spite Tiffany if nothing else—but alas for Laura, she can only get to one knee before falling back to the floor in pain.)

Laura: Laugh now Ms. Cross. Once my back is healed up---your days are numbered. If you keep that belt of yours past Synni this week don’t worry—I’ll be right behind him waiting for MY shot. I don’t know what alternate reality station you’re tuned in to, but try something on the AM or FM dial. Hear that world talks about me, Laura and not you, Slutface Has-been.

(Tiffany walks to the fridge in the kitchen and grabs some eggs and a carton of orange juice and walks back to Laura and steps on her back again just to hear Laura yell in pain.)

Tiffany: Would you like some breakfast Laura? Of course you would.

(Tiffany cracks open 7 eggs and pours each one over Laura covering her in the gooey egg yellow and yolk. She then opens the carton of orange juice and pours it all over Laura. Tiffany then goes back to the fridge and grabs a bottle of mustard and walks back to Laura and squirts some on her. Then Tiffany pulls off the ultimate insult a female can do on another. Tiffany takes the huge wad of gum she was chewing and puts it all in Laura's hair. Laura is super livid knowing that bubble gum is very difficult to get out of hair.)

Tiffany: I hope you like your makeover Laura. I call it, Chez Slutt a lot.

(Laura is too infuriated as well as embarrassed to say anything towards Tiffany. She just slams her hands down on the carpet like a small baby and begins feeling the “damage” done to her wonderous brown locks—starting to do a dry sob upon feeling just how much of her hair has been thrown into the gum Tiff put in her hair. As Laura pouts and Tiffany laughs at her the scene fades out.)