Janice: Was that the door?
Tiffany: Hello Janice, wheres that no good lying piece of scum friend of yours at?
Janice: Huh?----Wh-who are you?
Tiffany: You dont know who I am? Were you sleeping the last 20 years? I am Tiffany Cross, the CWA world champion. I have a present for Laura. May i come in?
Janice: Oh my GOD! I’m SO sorry I didn’t recognize you! You are my ultimate hero! Sure, sure---come on in! (motions for Cross to enter)
Tiffany: I am suprised, i thought i would get a cold reception from you being that you are Laura's roomate.
Janice: Are you KIDDING!? You are my absolute favorite! I love everything you say and do. Besides---Laura’s a massive dick. I was SO hoping you would have beaten her in order to shut her mouth. (quietly to herself, like some 5-year-old in awe) Man, Tiffany Cross in MY apartment room!
Tiffany: Thanks Janice, that means a lot to me. I should have broken Laura's neck but my brother for whatever reason, attacked me and costed me the match. Laura may have won a battle, but i am way way way WAY ahead in the war.
Janice: And I can’t wait for you to win! Take it from me, someone who lives with that bitch, Laura is at least twice as annoying around here than she is at your wrestling events and to you. So what are you doing here?
Tiffany: Well, i wanted to give Laura a present to cheer her up in light of her recent troubles. You know, everyone finding out that she really didn’t do all those great things in track and stuff without help from taking some sort of drug.
Janice: Oh please, please, please let me give these to her!
Tiffany: Be my guest but once she gets here, you might want to stand to the side, it may get messy.
Janice: You wanna hide or something?
Tiffany: Lets just stand here until she sees us. I can’t wait to see the look on her face.
Janice: Hey LauRoo! Would you like to meet my new friend?
Laura: (to Janice) Don’t even start with me little girl. (looking Tiffany straight in the eye) What are YOU doing here? Haven’t caused me enough Hell??
Tiffany: Not yet you bow-legged banshee. But i did bring you a present and then we are going to have us a long chat and depending on the mood, i may just end up leaving here without your dental work ending up on the floor.
Janice: Yeah, here Laura! (Janice turns and picks up the bag of dog food and dog biscuits and in a motherly tone, starts mocking Laura again, first taking out the can of food) Does somebody want their food? Huh? Have we been a good girl today? Sit! Oh, you won’t sit? (reaches in and pulls out the dog biscuits) Then you won’t get your tweat! Yum-yum! Who wants a doggy tweat? Does Lau-wa want a doggy tweat? Yes she does!
Tiffany: Now Laura, dont you even think aboot doing anything to my friend Janice because if you even so much as think that, i will put my foot so far up your ass that you will regurgitate my sock! Now lets talk aboot Strikezone where you did win, i will give you that....you pinned me but lets not forget how. My own brother attacked me and costed me the match. Now you are already in enough hot water with your cheating in college and the Olympics.....dont make it worse....at least admit to the truth for once in your miserable little life.
Janice: (still in her mocking babytalk tone) Be a good doggy and don’t growl or you won’t get your yum-yum tweat!
Laura: Don’t you ever, EVER talk to me in that tone of voice again!
Janice: Laura---Laura stop it! You’re choking me!!
Tiffany: I warned you aboot that didn’t I? Get your ass up!
Tiffany: Are you okay Janice?
Janice: (after coughing hard a couple times) Yeah…I’ll be fine in a bit. Just need to (coughs again) get some air back. (takes a deep breath) Thank you so much for doing that for me!
Tiffany: Anytime Janice, go and get some air and i will teach Laura a lesson.
Tiffany: What the hell do you think you are doing? I should break your neck for that stunt!!
Tiffany: Stay down Lassie, i didnt say i was done with you!!
Laura: Think you’re some hotshot? Let me tell you something- you got a mouth on you little girl, and that needs to change.
Tiffany:You insignificant little rodent. You cannot defeat me. Do you think i woke up one day became the world Champ at a whim? You are weak and must be assimilated!!
Laura: How dare you treat me like the animal that YOU are!? I am better than this! You are low and I am high. You are an “F” and I am an “A.” Don’t get started using those large vocabulary words there child---may end up saying something you didn’t want to say all because you were trying to look smart. I think you look like a fool.
Tiffany: You think i look like a fool? This coming from someone laying on the floor of her own home soaked and wet....Yah Laura...SUUUUUUURE!!! You’re real smart. But i want you to listen and listen good, this is between me and you..if you ever screw with Janice again, then i would suggest that you retire from the CWA and move to Siberia because i will come for you and i will break you in half. Do I make myself clear?
Laura: You BITCH!! That’s MINE!! (She tries getting up but once fully straightens out the pain in her back from the vase shot kicks in) OOOOOOWWWWW!! My back! (Laura slumps back down on the ground)
Tiffany: You miserable little insect, i told you that i was far more superior than you. You can have the great grades, but i will always have the advantage over you, from now until the day you die. Why can’t you see that you are no match for me? You can’t stop me from tearing up your place, you can’t stop me from hurting you. Why punish yourself Laura? It doesnt have to be this way. If only you would open your eyes and see the bigger picture. I dont like hurting people and destroying their property, so give it up already okay?
Laura: You know---some of that stuff is Janice’s. And I don’t know WHAT you’re gaining by destroying all this stuff anyways. I’ll just go to the Best Buy and get more. You gonna keep coming over here every week to on an electronics rampage? THAT’S so mature isn’t it? Grow up!
Tiffany: I wont come over here every week destroying stuff and i know you can buy more but the reason i am doing this is to send you a message. If you challenge my power, you shall be destroyed, its as simple as that. Your back hurts bad doesnt it?
Tiffany: Look at me Laura, i did this to you! Me, Tiffany Cross, the CWA world champion. I could end your future right here Laura. Do you even know what its like to wield such power? No because you are weak as a kitten, you are like baby shit, you have no solid foundation and you stink. Get up you troll!!
Laura: I CAN’T GET UP!! Or did you forget that already you dumb bumf*ck? I don’t know how you’ve managed to gain an advantage on me so often but you rest assure of this you little 3rd-grader….I WILL get you again in that ring and I WILL beat you again. And oh yeah---I WILL make sure to disgrace you worse than I did with that fake picture of you.
Tiffany: You just don’t learn do you Laura? You will be destroyed by your own quest for selfishness and greatness, and the sad part is that you will never attain greatness because you are not strong enough. Look at you, you are stuck on the floor, can’t get up. You are pitiful Laura. I wonder what Janice thinks of you being on the floor? Will you sleep down there?
Laura: Laugh now Ms. Cross. Once my back is healed up---your days are numbered. If you keep that belt of yours past Synni this week don’t worry—I’ll be right behind him waiting for MY shot. I don’t know what alternate reality station you’re tuned in to, but try something on the AM or FM dial. Hear that world talks about me, Laura and not you, Slutface Has-been.
Tiffany: Would you like some breakfast Laura? Of course you would.
Tiffany: I hope you like your makeover Laura. I call it, Chez Slutt a lot.