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![]() | Laura | ![]() |
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Record |
Achievments |
People Used |
People Mentioned |
RP # |
?-?-0 | won gold medals in Sydney Olympics and track star at Winona State and kicking your ass!! | Laura |
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One/1 |
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Laura: Damn son of a b*tch. F*ck*n’ *ssh*les won’t leave me the Hell alone! Laura: Looks like I've got quite a Friday ahead of me. A tougher tag match then I originally intended on. If there was EVER a golden opportunity for me at this point, this early in a career in a new fed, this is it. I’m not trying to build up Tony Rios, T. Jay and XsTaSy. That'd be like buying an iMac when a Compaq or a Dell or a Gateway is being sold at 75% off. All three of them are scrubs, they need to realize that right away. That’s why they’re in this match against me, the newcomer. If they were so good, they’d be in a better match at this point in their NEW lifespan. Instead, they’re thrown to the wolves, well, wolf, me, Laura. This match needs someone dedicated to getting a win. Otherwise it'll be a snoozefest worse than that "Carrie 2" movie from a few years back. As far as I know I'm going to be in that ring with a bunch of unfrozen apemen from the 1000 B.C. All their grunting, stomping around, aimless punching and kicking---oh, wait, that really IS how the rest of the roster here goes at their business. That’s why when I get in the ring and start showing my stuff, everyone is going to be stunned. They’ll stand up where ever they are, whether it be in the stands, in the back, or at home, and say, “‘Man, that Laura, she’s a heck of a competitor! That’s where you start building a company!’” Laura: I get, simply put, to face a receding Tony Rios and a maroon named XcStAsY as well as some dope named T. Jay. I see that T. Jay is making his return. (she stands and looks puzzled) Do I care? Does anyone ELSE care? Do the heads at NEW care? NO! (she stops looking puzzled and looks hard into the camera) SHUT THE F*CK UP!! The longer you stay quiet T. Jay, the longer you'll last. If we didn't need to care about stupid children and the whole first hour of BloodZone, then his sorority slut of a partner, XcStAsY, is long, LONG gone! Do you ever see her in anything that's really worthwhile? No way. I haven’t yet anyways. She just goes out there so that the heads here can say "Hey, we made the people laugh today." But really, when XcStAsY is gone is the day this whole federation ages and matures. Sure she’s eye candy, but even the eye can acquire a cavity or two by looking at something that rots as time goes on. Which is where Tony Rios comes into play. Here's another old coot past his time, past his prime. He was the Model T of his day and now has become but only a beat-up Buick Skylark. He's here chugging on and on for extra mileage and while he does cover the extra distances, he makes himself worse for wear in doing so. With time what was once a fine coat of blue paint has now turned into blue paint with various blotches of orange rust in the midst of it. What used to be a great engine now has to be serviced intermitently and stops have to be used to see that it doesn't leak any transition fluids. The battery has been left on too long, stalling has occurred and jumpstarts have been more often than they have been rare. The tires--they can't even go more than 50 miles before losing air and needing to be refilled. The engine is shot, the battery is dead, the paint has dwindled and the tires are flattened; the time of a well-endured vehicle has come to an end. The sad thing is that this has all occurred in basically 5 freakin’ months! (Laura looks around for her bag on the ground, spots it, and starts over to it) Back to T. Jay, his time is gone, fighting any more would tarnish him more than it would tarnish a musician to come out of retirement to do a song and be deathly out of tune. Maybe retirement isn’t T. Jay's game just yet but fighting against me? That shouldn't be in his game either. He belongs with XcStAsY right up there at the card openings---give people something to see that's funny right away. According to those three, Jimmy Carter and polyester were the two greatest things ever in United States history. JIMMY CARTER FOR CRYIN’ OUT LOUD!! (Laura starts laughing) Only in America can Jimmy Carter be named President and only in NEW can talentless trash like Tony Rios, XcStAsY and T. Jay be found.(she stops laughing now) No matter which way this match goes, no matter what may occur during it, the outcome will be the same—a win for me, Laura. I’m heading up to the top—I’ll see you three rugrats as I pass you all on the second rung. It’s this simple, lose or
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