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(We fade in to yet another Laura RP and we find ourselves outside. No, we're not outside at the park, no, we're not outside at some festive event like summer fireworks and no, we're not at something like a baseball game. Instead we are outside watching a sole person running on a track. This would be a track at a stadium, something you could find at, say....a small university! This isn't something "advanced" that one could find at a place like Penn State or even North Carolina, heck, this most likely is just a practice track. The track has only four lanes and is the orangeish color that tracks usually are. In the distance, on the straightaway across from our view on this cloudy and rather cool day is a runner. The runner goes into the track's final turn and soon enough crosses a white line, the starting/finishing line of course. We see that our runner is wearing a running suit of white with purple trim going down both sides of the uniform. The person is also wearing white shorts, again with a purple trim on both sides of the shorts as well as white track shoes, no special brand, just white in color with a splash of, yup, purple. As the runner comes closer to the camera we see the person has a lot of hair. So much in fact that, with a couple steps closer we see the person's dark hair in a ponytail. The person stops walking and at this point the camera does a quick zoom in to see who this is. Zooming in, we are able to make out a wonderous and shapely body---the kind of body one would find on----LAURA! Yes, fans, we are looking at Laura, who herself is just staring around the stadium, yet hasn't broken into much of a sweat. Whether she is in deep thought or is just staring without a care--we can't tell. The camera zooms back out and the person holding the camera begins walking toward Laura as we can hear the sound of grass being stepped on and the view of Laura becoming larger at the same time. Laura however does not stay in one spot for us to catch up. Instead she heads to her right. With her moving, our angle changes and we see her going for a set of bleachers. It's a small steel set, silver in color, and has only two sections to it. Laura climbs up into the fifth row of seats and reaches down with both hands to her shoes. She unties both, then removes both and sets them just to her left. She lets out a bit of a yelp upon setting her now bare feet, with red painted toes, upon the cold steel of the bleachers. After her skin grows accustomed to the cooler steel, she places her bare feet on the row of seats below her, toes pointed up and feet crossed at the ankles. She tilts her head back and closes her eyes as sweat begins to slowly ooze out from her pores. After a few seconds, she reopens them and sees the camera looking upwards at her, still from the side.)
Laura: Look who's back. A NEW cameraperson. How wonderful. I guess you want some words right? Of course you do, so shut up and let me talk.
(She lets her hair out of it's ponytail and shakes her head a couple times and runs her hands through it, after sliding her hair tie on to her left wrist--hey, she's got blue painted fingernails!--so as to allow it to flow freely and not be "bunched up" or anything else that she would deem uncomfortable. She uncrosses her feet and has them flat on the seats below her now.)
Laura: I feel like I wasted my life this week. I lose for the first time in my history in this federation and I didn't like it. It was a cheap win with hordes of luck involved. What Jimmy Nash did was unconstitutional. At least my finish my f*ckin' move before doing something to me you big ugly b*stard! No wonder you're a hick, you smell as bad as wet gym socks. Like I'm supposed to be able to do anything while I'm suffocating!? I was lucky to do what I did! You wonder why I kicked you outside the ring right away? It wasn't for an advantage child. It was so I could regain my breath and breathe clean air instead of the manure that comes off you Nash! Damn kid---how about showering again or at least having a bath during the millennium, okay? We know you missed your shower last millennium, and you had your one for this one before facing me, but please (whispers) take a second one and you'll be good to go for the rest of this one! (end whispering) (she cracks a fake smile, though it IS still an attractive smile) That's the least of my worries however. You see, I have something to do with Latin Lover. This man has literally stolen--WASTED--the last two weeks of my precious life. So many people line up to see me, so many things I have arranged to do for groups and organizations, so little time I have to spare and this lout just goes and does what ANYONE would like to do, and that's have me on call. I was there when he wanted me, and yet what does he do at BloodZone? HE PISSED IT AWAY! He comes up to me two weeks ago, says--heck, he BEGS me to join his group. (in a sarcastic voice) "'Laura, join the Midcarders! Laura, join us and we will rule wrestling! You are what will put us over the top!'" (end sarcastic voice) Some time at the top, tramp! Two weeks? That's all I get is two weeks before I get a sneak attack? Look, I know "X" hates me, and that's fine, but Double L, you're going to actually LISTEN to the guy? You're stupider than I thought. Your whole group is retarted anyways. I mean, having been in it....(she begins having a puzzled look on her face as she throws her arms out to the sides)....what the f*ck? (loses the expression and drops her hands back into her lap) You people don't do a damn thing!! All you do is sit and make jokes and bullsh*t with each other. That's not how to do things. (gets a sort of "stuck up" expression on her face) What, was I "not funny enough?" Was I "too serious?" Did you not like that I actually cared about my career? (again, loses the expression, but now, with her right hand, gives "the finger" to the camera for a few seconds before lowering her hand back in her lap) Do you really expect to succeed by clowning around? Gosh, I'm SORRY that I want to win titles and garner respect and attention my way dillweeds. (starts breaking into a small laugh) What's funny is they drop me for Urge. The dope loses his title and isn't even on the next Pay-Per-View! Do you guys really expect to break the bank by not being on ANY TV or in ANY big matches?? (I don't know if it's frustration built up from her ranting or from being "cut" by the MC's, but Laura boils over and lets out a scream in her high-pitched yell)
NNNNOOOOO!!!
(She stares hard into the camera, her head slightly shaking, her face beet-red, her breath slightly quickened, her sweat running down her face, though she's cooled off enough so that it's no longer being produced)
Laura: YOU SONS OF B*TCHES!! Can't you do ANYTHING right!? You have a gold mine in me, Laura and you LET ME GO!? I guess letting me in the group would be like electing George W. Bush for President, (REALLY sarcastically here) "It seemed like a good idea at the time" (drops the sarcasm) Here's something that seems like a good idea at the time too (gives the camera "the finger" once again) That's for you Ruben. It's no wonder you can't crack it in this federation. You f*ck around too much. You go see plays about gay athletes and have too much sex with the slut you call a wife. Yeah, Heidi, you're a SLUT! You're as stupid as my friend Janice, which is REALLY a new level in stupidity--and that's no compliment, and you look worse than a burn victim after skin-grafting who's whole face was charred. Cripes, girl, seriously---my FEET look better than you!
(The camera zooms in to Laura's bare feet, still on the fourth row of bleachers. She wiggles her big toes a couple times as we look at her feet and...um...well, uh---they're--they're smooth, no veins popping out and....her red toenails add a nice touch to her not-too-short, not-too-long tootsies I guess....and, um....her feet are kinda tanned, that's cool I think. I guess her feet look good---for feet. The camera zooms out again for a full-body shot of Laura)
Laura: Heidi, you look worse than a burn victim fresh out of skin-grafting who happened to char his entire face. Ruben, I'm ashamed of you---you had brains I thought. Is Heidi jealous of me and stopped giving you sex unless you kicked me out of the group? You know what though? That's fine. I'm NOT funny. I don't want to BE funny. I'm as serious as they get. That's why I'm Laura, the Queen of Wrestling. That's why I've won my gold medals. You don't achieve by coming up with one-liners. Go to Illinois and catch monkeypox. Hopefully your humor will be sucked out of your system via an antidote. Now, let's see here...I suppose you're going to want to fire back at me, right? That it? Let me tell you this much Mr. D*cklick, you can't take all that I have to offer. You saw what I had and you were afraid I would want to take over your (sarcastic voice again) "precious group" (end sarcasm) and actually elevate them. Like I said, I don't care about the Midcarder's and honestly, I wouldn't have given a damn about them anyways. I am Laura and I watch out for myself and ONLY myself. I have no care for anyone else in this world. If you're not me, get out of my way because I'm coming through. The only reason this match is even as high as it is on the card is because of me. Yeah, I know, tried expression, but really, are YOU worthy of being this close to the end of BloodZone? As if! Putting you this high on a card is like bidding on an unauthenticated autograph of Richard Nixon...you're setting yourself up for a major fall with a high amount of money being lost in the process. BloodZone and the rest of NEW can't survive on Latin Lover, but they CAN survive on me, Laura. Now, I know where'd you go with that line. Like any other over-testosternoed male, you'd say that I take NEW to high places because I let people sleep with me and let them f*ck me until they're blue in the nuts or until the cows come home. Let me tell you this much, I am a virgin. Would you like me to say it again, because I will---VIRGIN! If you don't believe me, I will personally show you my unbroken hyman to prove you wrong. No, I don't have any sort of diseases, no I don't hang out on street corners every night, no I don't "do it" for a dime or ANY amount of cash or for ANY reason and NO, that's not because people don't find me attractive. Please, get a life. First off, honestly, look at me, look at my pictures and HONESTLY say I'm not in the least bit attractive. I'm not overweight, I'm not an amazon, I have no over or underbite and my face is not a turn off. If you think it is, you're just lying to yourself. Not that you haven't done that before, but you are Latin Lover, so I'm just letting you know. I also suppose you'd want to take my appearance today and use that against me? Like the fact that I'm currently barefoot? (points to her feet for a second) Hey, I know the saying, "Barefoot and pregnant." It's been used against me before. You know what? I won those matches. Just because I'm barefoot here, that doesn't mean I'm in some sort of weaker position or am ready to submit. I just want to air out my feet so they don't smell and get sweaty inside my shoes. If I could, I'd kick you with them right here and now and SHOW you just how much it would hurt to try to make a smart comment about them. I take care of myself unlike you. You'd be up and jumping around like a schoolgirl having receieved an "A" if you could catch something like smallpox. You think it'd be cool because you'd be the first person in who knows how many years to contract the currently "dead" disease. Of course, someone like you WOULD be dumb enough to get something "extinct" like that, just as I bet you care for your dodo bird. Maybe you want to make fun of where I grew up or where I chose to go to college. Maybe you'll make fun of the fact that I tend to have a drinking bout after I am involved in a loss. (nods tauntingly for a couple seconds, almost begging him to do so) You go ahead and do that. I'll just stay here at 22 years old and wait for you to catch up from your third-grade years. I'd do the same back to you, but you know what there Latin Lunk, I have a maturity level and amount of class you couldn't buy if you had $10 billion. Yeah, I know, you're going to say you wouldn't anyways because then you'd have all that money to spend and besides, I'm too serious. Really, like I've never heard I'm too serious ANYWHERE in my life!? I suggest that if you want to put yourself on the air again before we face off, you just sit there and stay nothing. Just keep the mouth shut, don't say a word, and you'll keep your respect that you just might have from three people. Of course, you don't have to listen to me, in which case I say
BITE MY CLIT!!
(As Laura gathers her shoes together and stands up, ready to descend off the bleachers, our scene fades)
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